Heaven and Hell (A sequel to Lost and Found)
by Bugsbunnyaloha
Summary: 5 yrs later they were happily married with a growing family. Nothing could break the bond they had created over the past 11 years since the day Michelle stood before him as a new recruit. They were a team both in friendship and marriage. Heaven hovered over their home in HI, until that fateful day when Hell broke in, threatening to destroy everything they believed was unbreakable.
1. Chapter 1

Michelle took a sip of her red wine and set the glass down on the wood deck next to the oversize lounge chair she was sitting on. She stretched her legs out and sighed, finally relaxed after a busy day.

She heard a scuffling noise behind her and glanced around the back of the chair, snapping her fingers loudly and pointing up to the second story balcony of she and Steve's bedroom.

"Back in bed!" she said firmly.

She smiled hearing giggles and then scrambling of little feet as her daughter Ellen ran back to her room.

She faced the view again, enjoying the full moon and calm ocean in front of her. It was a perfect night in paradise. The soft breeze blowing in off the Pacific was just warm enough to remain comfortable in shorts and a t-shirt.

She was still getting used to the new view as well as the new house, but had no complaints. She missed the old house only because it was where she and Steve had lived after she had made the move from Virginia and where they were first married. It also had been the place where they had brought their twin girls home from the hospital. It was the prefect house in every aspect, except for the size with a growing family, and with a heavy heart they moved into a bigger one.

She was glad now they hadn't sold it, using it as a rental instead, which turned out to be more of a lucrative income than they had planned. The extra money that generated from the vacationers went into an account for the girls college funds and she and Steve's retirement. It was also the place they had decided would be their final home to spend their remaining years.

She looked around at the expansive deck that was attached to an even more elaborate house. The cost of this place never would have been achievable on she and Steve's income if it hadn't been for her trust fund from her grandparents. Their estate was set up to only give her a certain amount every three years. They were very conservative not wanting their grandchildren to squander the money as they had watched several of their friend's relatives do.

The payouts weren't enough to retire of off but it was enough to be able to splurge if they wanted something special, like a trip abroad or a generous down payment on a house. They had to use two of the payouts for the house they were living in, but as she sat there looking out she had to admit the wait was worth it.

She reached over the side and picked up her glass, taking another sip. She heard steps behind her and didn't bother looking back.

"I told you bed, now!"

Steve laughed, leaning over the back and running his hands down over her breasts, and then back up the side of her body. "Ok, ok, let's go."

Michelle looked up over her shoulder smiling at him. "Oh geez," she laughed. "I thought you were Ellen."

He came around the side and sat down next to her, stretching his legs out on the lounge. "Does that mean the offer is off the table?"

She scooted over closer to him, "That offer is always valid for you."

He put his arm out as she nestled in, draping it over her shoulder.

"How was work? Is the island safe?"

"Yep, all tucked in."

She handed him the glass of wine as he took a drink and handed it back.

"Mmm," he moaned over the sweet taste. "Is that some of the stuff your mom sent from Italy?"

"Yes. It's good huh?"

"Very."

"Do you want me to go get you a glass?"

"No," he groaned and settled into the soft cushion on the wooden lounger, squeezing her. "I'm content just sitting here with my beautiful wife." He closed his eyes, feeling relaxed after putting in almost thirteen hours at work that day.

"That's sweet," she grinned. "You really do want to get laid tonight don't you?"

Steve chuckled with his eyes still closed, "Just so you know, I want to get laid every night."

Michelle reached over him and set the glass down on the deck. She moved over on top of him, straddling his lap.

He smiled at her, moving his hands up and down her back. "Right now? Right here?"

"It's time we introduced ourselves to the neighbors," she teased.

"Well if you say so." He held on to her and rolled her over across the lounge so he was on top of her and between her legs.

Michelle gasped and then giggled over his playfulness. "You've got the moves, Commander." She held on around his neck as she pulled herself up close to his face. "Show me what else you got?"

"Gladly," he whispered before kissing her.

She could taste the wine on his tongue as they frolicked together. She could feel his want for her even through his pants, loving how she could excite him so quickly even after five years of marriage. He gave her the same thrill, she thought, feeling the wetness between her legs as his hips pushed down on her.

His next move was to get her up and in the bedroom, but all that came to a crashing halt as he felt a small body jump on his back.

"Daddy!" Ellen squealed, holding on around his neck as she lay across his back.

Michelle quickly stretched out her legs as she felt all the wind leave their romantic liaison, nothing could do it faster than being interrupted by the kids. It was like a natural birth control method.

"Who is that?" Steve said in a deep playful voice. He and Michelle both laughed over Ellen's giggles as he reached behind him and grabbed her small leg, pulling her around in front and laying her on the cushion next to her mother. "You can't sneak up on me," he growled, tickling her belly.

She squirmed around and shrieked with laughter. "Daddy!"

He stopped and moved off of Michelle, the three of them barely able to fit on the lounge. He lay on his side facing the two of them. "Why aren't you in bed?' he asked, without an ounce of anger in his voice.

"I heard you. I heard you come home," she smiled at him. "I missed you, Daddy" She reached over her mother and touched his face. "I want you to tuck me in."

Michelle could see his heart melt all over that statement, wanting to remind him that she was working him but then again he hadn't seen them all day, so this was an exception.

"Where's your sister?" he asked.

"She's in bed."

He knew her twin sister Elie was as she said, still in bed, but he also knew she was probably awake, but being the ever diligent and obedient child of the two, he knew she wouldn't come down. She followed the rules, always, where as Ellen was more of risk taker, and even at four years old she already played him like a fiddle when it came to his emotions, like now.

He sat up and bent over, scooping her up over his shoulder, "C'mon sneaky girl. I'll tuck you in." He smacked her on the butt a couple of times that was sticking up over his shoulder.

Michelle followed behind them, grinning over their playfulness.

Ellen laid over his back and held on to his shirt, laughing all the way up the stairs.

He came in their room that was slightly lit from the night-light plugged into the wall, and just as he had expected Elie was awake and sat up in her bed when he came in. She was identical to her sister and they both were the spitting image of their mother, including the auburn eyes and long dark hair. They kept Elie's shoulder length and Ellen's slightly longer so they could tell them apart.

"Hi Daddy," she said happily, holding her rag doll, Susie, that she'd had since she was born.

He laid Ellen down and went over to Elie's bed. "Hi sweetie," he said, sitting down on the edge. He leaned over as she reached up, hugging him. "How's my oldest girl today?"

"Fine," she smiled. "Did you eat dinner with Danny and Chin and Kono?"

He grinned, knowing she was asking out of worry because he wasn't home for dinner with them. It was a question she always asked when he got home late. "Yes I did."

She was happy about that and it showed. "What did you have?"

"Did you have pizza?" Ellen asked, standing next to him now.

"No. I had a turkey sandwich."

"Did you have cheese on it like the way you make for me and Ellen?" Elie asked.

"Yep," he rubbed his belly. "It was soooo good. I could have eaten a hundred."

Ellen laughed, "A hundred! You're tummy would be like this." She stuck hers out as far as she could.

Steve reached over and stuck his finger in it as she giggled, covering it up.

He focused back on Elie. "What did you two have for dinner?"

"I don't remember," Ellen said.

That's because you didn't eat it," Elie replied sharply. "Mommy made chicken and scabetti that wasn't red though."

"It looked weird," Ellen said with a disgusted look on her face.

"It was good," Elie argued.

"I didn't like it," Ellen whined.

"You don't like anything," her sister quickly pointed out.

"I like pizza."

"Everyone likes pizza."

"Not everyone, huh Daddy?" she looked to her father for help, often being sidelined by her sister's quick thinking.

He ignored the argument between them and tried to set a lesson instead. "Mommy works hard at cooking dinner for you after work, it would be nice if you at least tried it. You'd be surprised at how good some things taste if you just give it a chance."

Ellen sighed loudly, leaning against him. "Even if it looks yucky?"

"It doesn't look yucky. That's you being stubborn." He put his arm around her and squeezed, knowing where her stubbornness came from. It was genetic.

Elie came out from under the covers and crawled up to him on her knees, sitting on the other side of him. "Do you have to go to work tomorrow?"

He put his other arm around her, "Nope, tomorrow is Saturday," he squeezed both of them and gently shook them. "You know what I was thinking…" he waited for it, knowing his tone of voice would get their interest going.

"What?" they both asked simultaneously.

"I was thinking that we take advantage of that new beach in front of our house and take the kayak out. Do some exploring. What do you think?"

They both looked at each other with excited eyes, overjoyed by that idea. Ellen jumped up and down clapping her hands, while Elie hugged him tightly.

"Yes! Yes!" They both replied enthusiastically.

"Ok then, we're going to need our energy so a good night sleep is important."

Ellen ran back to her bed and climbed in, pulling her covers up and waited patiently as he tucked Elie in first.

Steve held her blanket up as she crawled in and then he pulled it up and did his routine 'tucking' that he knew they loved. He took his hands and pushed the blanket around her so you could see the outline of her body.

"There" he said, "all tucked in."

Elie giggled, puckering her lips because she couldn't move out from the perfect formation.

He leaned over and kissed them, whispering so only she could hear. "Good night my little princess. I love you." He took Susie and set her next to her head.

"I love you too Daddy," she replied.

He smiled at her, feeling every word of it, giving her one more kiss on the forehead before he went to Ellen.

He did the same tucking style with her. She giggled as her sister did.

He leaned over and whispered to her. "Good night my sweet girl. I love you."

"I love you too," she said, looking up at him. "Can I sit in front tomorrow?"

He smiled at her adventurous side, already planning it out. "Yes, you can have front first and Elie on the way back if she wants. How's that?"

She nodded enthusiastically, not caring so much about keeping the covers as pristine as her sister. They were twins Steve thought amused, but they couldn't have been more different. He kissed her forehead as well and stood up to leave.

He turned back before going out, getting one more look at them as they both stared at him with smiles. They were by far the greatest accomplishment of his life. He had no idea how badly he wanted kids until they were born. Even the unexpected chaos of twins just seemed like an added adventure in the whole scheme of things. He and Michelle worked well together as a team, knowing too it wouldn't have gone as smoothly with anyone else, contributing a lot of the stress release to their military backgrounds. They knew how to handle it and leaned on the other for support when needed.

He came in the bedroom and she was already in bed, sitting back against the headboard with her Kindle in hand, reading her latest book. She had her long dark hair swept up off her shoulders in a semi neat bun, not liking it in her face while she slept.

She looked up over the rim of her reading glasses as he came in. "Are they all tucked in?"

He grinned at her, heading toward the bathroom. "Yep. I'm going to take them kayaking tomorrow."

Michelle smiled brightly over that, knowing how much they loved spending time with him, plus it pleased her immensely that he wanted to spend his day off with them. She never had that when she was growing up and was always amazed at his willingness to spend every spare second he could with his kids. She felt blessed over that. He turned out to be an amazing father. "I think that's a great idea."

He came out of the bathroom shirtless with a toothbrush in his mouth. "Do you want to come or do you want the day?"

She gave a quick assessment but declined, letting him have this time alone with them. She had her moments and he deserved his. "No. I think I'll get some grocery shopping done and maybe we could try out that new grill when you get back."

He went back in the bathroom and finished up, turning the light off as he came out and then went to the bedroom door and closed it quietly and then locked it.

Michelle raised an eyebrow. "Oh my, locking the bedroom door. I know what that means." She took her glasses off and set them and her Kindle on the nightstand and watched with great pleasure as he stripped his clothes off until he was naked.

He didn't replay to her assumption but crawled up from the bottom of the bed, slowly, as if he were a jungle cat, stalking his prey. His eyes narrowed but his grin widened.

Michelle laughed as she scooted down so she was laying out flat. He paused at her knees, moving his hands up her thighs until he was under her shirt, which was actually an old shirt of his that she wore to bed. He slid his fingers in either side of her panties and slowly pulled them down, keeping his eyes on her.

She lifted her hips allowing him this pleasure. "I thought you'd be too tired tonight."

He tossed them aside and moved up her legs as she parted them for him. "We'll make it a quickie," he smiled devilishly, "but you know what tonight is?"

Michelle rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know what tonight is. It's your choice."

She ran her hand over his hair as he rested his chin between her breasts, looking at her hungrily.

"So, how do you want it?" she asked.

"Hmmm," he sighed. "Let me think about that."

"Think about what," she laughed. "You know you've been thinking about it all day, so don't pretend that you're contemplating some big new position."

"Don't rush me. I can't decide."

"Let me help you decide then."

She pushed on him, rolling him over on his back and straddled his waist.

"Take my shirt off," she ordered him.

He liked where this was going and pulled up on the bottom of it as she raised her hands, helping him. He tossed it over the side of the bed, admiring her perfect breasts with both his hands and his eyes. She was thrilled that they had stayed so well proportioned even after breast-feeding two babies, and she loved even more the way he admired them.

She put her hands over top of his and began to slowly move her hips, feeling him grow beneath her. He was still the most beautiful man she'd ever met, knowing he always would be, not only because it was a natural fact but because she loved him so much. They kept their eyes on each other, which only intensified the intimate moment between them.

He let out a deep moan as his hands moved down the side of her narrow hips and over her thighs, caressing them as he watched her pull her long hair out of the band and let it fall over her shoulders, feeling intoxicated over her beauty.

"Kiss me," she ordered him next.

He sat up on one elbow and took his other hand, cupping the back of her neck and pulled her down to his lips.

She laid him back on the bed as they let nature take its course, letting the kiss set the tone as he moved his hand into her hair, pulling her in closer.

She moved up and then slid back down him as he entered her, both of them reacting over it as the kiss deepened.

Michelle broke away and sat up on him, moving her body in a way that she knew he loved, seeing it on him as his expression weakened and his breathing became quick and sharp.

He held her by the hips, pushing into her as she held his wrists looking down at him, enjoying the incredible sensations that would ripple through her.

He pushed his head into the pillow as he worked to please her, seeing it on her as her beautiful face flushed and she gasped every so often when he went deep.

"Steve," her voice begging as she moaned and pulled on his arm, leaning back, telling him what she wanted next.

He could read her every move without the need for words, knowing exactly what she wanted. He held her tightly around the waist with one arm as he sat up and laid her back toward the foot of the bed in one swift move, never breaking the rhythm. He kept the firm hold around her waist; lifting her off the bed as he found the steady pace that she liked, hoping she came soon because he was close.

Michelle gripped the sheets as her body succumbed to the feeling of him moving inside her. All she could do was hold on as his experience of making love to her came full force, hitting that spot over and over until it hit it's peak and exploded inside of her.

He watched her body arch, knowing it was just hitting her then, which in turn gave him permission to let go and enjoy what she was. It didn't take long as he leaned over her bracing one hand by her head, still gripping her waist as he changed to the pace he wanted.

Even after she was done she still wanted more. Never rushing him. Getting him there too was just as pleasing. Her knowledge of knowing his body was just as experienced as she used her hands to heighten his pleasure. It only took one sweep over his body when she felt all his muscles tighten and then heard the incredible sexy way in which he released inside of her. She held still letting him use her body to get the full potential, smiling as he did.

He whimpered softly when it was over, resting his forehead on her shoulder as she ran her hand over his hair and down his back that began to perspire from the workout. He slid his hand out from underneath her and slowly collapsed on top of her, letting his body come down from it.

"That was a good one," Michelle sighed, stroking his back.

He rose up to see her face, kissing her. "It was," he agreed still panting.

"I was talking about me," she teased. "Did you come too?"

He laughed over that, moving inside her again. "No, so let's keep going."

Michelle giggled and pushed him away this time. "You're on your own for the next one buddy."

Steve moved off of her as she crawled up to the front of the bed and he lay on his back, relaxing. "Great way to end the day," he sighed contently.

Michelle looked back at him and grinned as she reached over the side of the bed and grabbed her shirt, slipping it back on.

He moved his feet allowing her to retain her earlier position as she sat with her back against the headboard. She reached down and took one of his feet that was next to her and set it on her lap, massaging it.

"Oh baby," Steve moaned, putting his hands behind his head, "that feels good."

She smiled over his pleasure, returning the gesture that he bestowed upon her more times than she could count. "Where are you taking the girls kayaking tomorrow?"

"Just off the beach outside somewhere. I was going to see if we could find a good snorkeling spot. That reef that starts over by Diamond Head has some good spots. It's close by now."

"I thought Elie was scared last time you guys went snorkeling?'

"She was at first but if I hold her hand she's ok."

Michelle smiled, "You're a good dad. I don't think I tell you that enough."

He lifted his head looking down at her. "You're a good wife. I don't think I tell you that enough."

"I just love my husband."

He pulled his foot away and moved up the bed next to her. "Thank God for me." He took his pillow and curled it up under his head and rested next to her legs, putting an arm over them. "We need to do something about Ellen getting out of bed every night."

"I know!" Michelle agreed, running her fingers up and down his back. "She was already up once before you got home."

"We should take away a privilege every time it happens."

"I agree. Start with TV time and work up to the big stuff."

"Yep," he sighed, feeling content and on the verge of sleep. "She's the adventurous one of the two, and I love that about her, but it has to have its limits at this age."

"She has you and I to the extreme in her," Michelle grinned, stroking his muscles on his back.

"I think she took Elie's adventurous side from her when they were in the womb together." He looked up at her, "I'm telling you though, Elie's going to end up being some sort of Ambassador for world peace or head of the Red Cross. She may not be as adventurous as her twin but if Elie sees someone or something in need, I think she'd go through a war zone to help them." He lay back down again. "She was concerned tonight over my missing dinner," he smiled.

"She loves her Daddy and worries about him. You're right though, I think she'll do wonderful things with her life that will involve helping others, while Ellen will probably end up a Fleet Admiral."

They both laughed over that.

"Of course they're only four," Steve chuckled. "They'll both probably end up being surfers and beach bums."

That got another laugh out of both of them.

"As long as they're happy," Michelle added.

"Happiness is the meaning of life," Steve professed, pushing himself up and kissing her. He lay back down; getting comfortable in his position nestled next to her.

"I'm going to read for a while longer, do you mind?"

"Nope, I'll be out in about ten seconds."

She put her glasses back on before turning the lamp off.

She held the Kindle in one hand picking up where she left off and lazily ran her fingers up and down his back with her other.

They settled in to a typical night in the McGarrett household.

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Steve checked over Ellen's facemask one more time before lifting her up and setting her in the water outside the kayak.

"Hold on to the edge and do not," he said firmly, "let go until I get out, understood?"

She nodded her response unable to talk with the snorkel in her mouth. She dipped her face in the water, looking around the best she could while still holding on.

Steve put Elie's mask on her face and adjusted it. "How's that? Is it too tight?"

She shook her head and looked nervously over the edge of the boat at her sister, making sure she was still holding on, and trying to find the same bravery she had. There was no way she would be outside the boat without her father in this deep of water. "Can we hold hands Daddy," she asked him.

"Of course," he replied enthusiastically. "The funnest part for me is getting to swim with you."

She took her attention away from the ocean and looked back at him, pleased over his excitement. "Me too!" she replied with the same enthusiasm.

"Ok then," he held up her snorkel, "let's get this show on the road."

"You get in the water first, ok Daddy? And then I'll get in."

Steve smiled, knowing she was still a little nervous. "Ok."

He got her snorkel on and then before getting in the water he secured the strap around his shin and tucked his knife in just for precautions. They were about a hundred yards off shore in relatively shallow water but he never took the ocean or nature for granted.

He rolled over the side and came up grabbing the side of the kayak and steadying it. Ellen had already let go and was bobbing in the water next to him, letting her life jacket do the treading for her.

"Ok, c'mon sweetie," he said to Elie, holding his arms out.

She leaned over bracing her hands on the side of the boat as he grabbed her under the arms and dragged her over the side. She held onto him tightly as he took the rope from the kayak and secured it to his life vest.

"Look down in the water, Elie," Ellen said enthusiastically, holding her snorkel in her hand. "There's a whole bunch of fish." She put it back in her mouth and looked down again.

"I'm waiting for Daddy," she panted, gripping his bicep with both hands.

He put an arm around her, looking at her eyes through the mask that told him she wasn't having fun yet. "Maybe we'll see Ariel today," he grinned, quoting the name of the Little Mermaid from the Disney movie he alone had seen at least four times.

Elie smiled, "Or maybe Sebastian."

"I love Sebastian!" Steve said. "If I see him I'm going to shake his claw."

Elie laughed, "You're like Prince Eric, Daddy."

"Daddy's like Ursula," Ellen teased, busting out laughing as he reached for her.

"Ursula? I'm not a big fat octopus." He raised his fist in the air and spoke in a loud, deep voice. "I'm King Triton!"

Both girls laughed as he made a funny face trying to look big and strong. He pulled in Ellen and held both girls. "You are both my little Ariel's."

They looked at each other giggling hysterically.

"Are we ready to have some fun?" Steve said to them.

"Yes!" both girls cheered, even Elie was excited now, having been relieved of her fear.

* * *

Michelle stood on the beach waiting as they approached the shore. She came out knee deep in the water and caught the front of the boat as Steve steered it in.

"Did we have fun?"

"Yes!" both girls yelled.

"We saw a turtle!" Elie shrieked.

"A turtle?" she looked at Ellen as she agreed with her sister.

"Yes, and it was swimming right below us."

Elie reached up as her mother lifted her out of the boat and set her in the water. "We saw all kinds of pretty fish. They were swimming like a family all together."

"That's so cool."

"It was pretty," Ellen added as she came out next.

"I'm glad you had a good time." She pointed at the deck. "There's some lemonade and snacks on the table on the deck if you're hungry."

Both girls pushed their way through the water and ran up the beach through the small gate that led up the stairs to the deck.

Michelle held the boat as Steve got out next. "Sounds like fun was had by all."

He smiled at her, grabbing the front of the kayak and pulling it up on shore. "It was fun. Elie was a little nervous at first but she calmed down pretty quickly. She even let go of me once when we saw the turtle."

She helped him gather up the items from the inside of the boat. "Good for her."

"What did you do all day?" he asked as he followed her up the path, dragging the boat behind him.

"I ran some errands. I got some steaks for dinner." She paused looking back at him. "And I got my last assignment overseas."

Steve stopped, looking at her as his happy expression faded, "How long?"

Michelle smiled brightly, "Only ten days and its my last one, thank god."

He let out a sigh of relief and the smile returned, pleased too it was her last trip. He never pressured her about quitting the travel portion of her job; it was her decision to stop. "I hate it when you're gone for a night, but I can handle ten days, barely. It's better than the normal two weeks. Where are you going?"

"I don't know yet. They just said when I'll be leaving and for how long. You know the government. I'll be handed my papers as I board the plane."

Steve huffed, "They trust you to go but don't trust you with the information ahead of time. I never understood that." He set the kayak on the deck. "When do you leave?"

"Next Monday, back on the following Wednesday. I talked to my mom and she'll be here on Sunday."

Steve grinned, "Oh yeah, I forgot that your mom would be here to take care of the girls."

"Stop with the lies," Michelle laughed. "You probably secretly wish I was going longer so she could stay longer."

"Not true! But I do love it when your mom comes and visits."

"Only because she adores you and caters to you."

"What can I say," he smiled, "I'm a great son-in-law."

Michelle rolled her eyes, "I do have to admit that since I married you that hers and my relationship has certainly taken a turn for the better. She credits you for her beautiful granddaughters," she put a hand on her chest, "not that I had anything to do with it."

"Do you think she'll make me that pot roast she made when we were in Boston?" he asked, almost giddy. "God that was good."

"I'm sure she'll make you anything your little heart desires," she replied, rolling her eyes again. "But for right now YOU need to get that grill fired up because I'm starving and one of those steaks has my name on it."

"Yes ma'am." He kissed her cheek as he went by, putting a hand on each of the girl's heads, "Who wants a big, juicy steak for dinner?"

"Me!" Elie shouted.

"Me!" Ellen followed by raising her hand as well.

"Ok, I need helpers, lets go!" He motioned to the kitchen as they both scrambled out of the miniature picnic table and ran past him into the house.

Michelle stood and watched them with a smile on her face. She recalled her mother telling her once how proud she was of her for marrying so well and for doing such a great job with raising the girls. She had done so much in her life, and accomplished so many goals, graduating BUD/S class, working Naval Intelligence and even working for the Secret Service and now for the Government as a contract negotiator but her mother was right, her greatest accomplishment was her family and she wouldn't jeopardize her life with Steve and the girls for anything. She was the happiest she'd been her whole life.

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"Nana Clair!" Elie and Ellen both screamed as they came flying out of the house past their mother and into the open arms of their grandmother. There could be no doubt in anyone's mind that the four of them were related. The hair, the facial features and even their body types were similar.

"Look at how big you've got just over a few months!" She hugged both of them, shaking them back and forth. "I'm so excited to be here!"

"Did you bring us presents?" Ellen blurted out.

"Ellen Marie," Michelle scolded her. "You don't ask that question you wait until Nana offers them to you."

She looked sheepishly at her grandma, "Sorry Nana," her expression turned hopeful, "but did you?"

"Of course I did!" she replied before Michelle could comment, jumping up and down, clapping her hands excitedly with the girls. She shrugged her shoulders at her daughter as she approached her with her arms open wide. "Did you miss me?"

"Hi Mom," Michelle said as they greeted each other with a hug. "Of course I did."

"Hi honey." She squeezed her tightly. "I'm so glad you called me. I wish I could have come earlier so I could visit with you longer."

"We have today and tonight to catch up."

"You look wonderful." She stood back and looked her over. "Are you pregnant?"

"No," Michelle replied quickly. "Why?"

"You just have this glow about you is all"

Michelle smiled, "It's called paradise Mom. Comes from living in Hawaii."

"Where would you like these, Clair?" the driver asked as he bent over picking up her suitcases. She never allowed them to pick her up at the airport, always insisting on having a service pick her up and take her. She could afford it so they stopped arguing.

"Just right inside is fine, thank you, John."

"She reached in her Louie Viton purse and pulled out a twenty, handing it to him. "Thank you so much."

"Mahalo ma'am. Enjoy your visit with your daughter and family."

"I will, Aloha."

"Aloha Clair," he replied before getting back in the black Lexus sedan and pulling out of the driveway.

"Where is Steve?"

"He got called in to work, but I talked to him a little while ago and he should be home soon."

"Good. I would like everyone together tonight." She put her arm over her shoulder as they walked in the house.

"Why?" Michelle asked nervously, "Do you have some announcement or something?"

"No," she squeezed her. "I just love being with all of you. It makes me feel good."

Michelle put her arm around her waist. "That's nice. Thank you."

Clair stopped when she came in the new house. "Wow! This is a lot bigger than the other one. The outside is deceiving."

"I know," Michelle agreed. "We wanted space."

"For more kids?" she asked hopeful.

Michelle laughed, "Maybe. What is it with you and me popping out some more kids?"

Clair laid out one of her suitcases flat and unzipped it as the girls kneeled on the floor patiently waiting for their gifts. "I just think you and Steve are the perfect couple and perfect couples should procreate the world." She kneeled down next to Ellen and Elie and squeezed them tightly, her voice overly sweet, "You raise wonderful little people too."

"Thanks again, Mom." She eyed her suspiciously. "Are you sure you're not buttering me up for something?" she tilted her head. "You're not thinking about buying on the island again are you, because we already talked about that and you would be bored here in about a month? You like to move about too much."

She handed each girl a neatly wrapped gift as they squealed with excitement and tore off to the couch to unwrap them. "No," her shoulders slouched over that comment, hearing it as a plea of not wanting her to stay forever. "I'm not planning on staying forever. I know I wasn't the best Mother while you were growing up Michelle. I dragged you here and there and I partied more than I parented. I have regrets about that now more than you know. But when I come here and see how happy you are it makes me feel that maybe I did something right along the way."

She felt a wave of guilt. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that the way I did. I didn't mean that we wouldn't want you here. And we had some good times growing up too." Michelle smiled. "I mean what other mother wakes her daughter up at one o'clock in the morning when its twenty degrees outside to get on a private jet and fly down to Florida to have breakfast on the beach? I mean c'mon. That was awesome!"

Clair nodded in agreement, "That was fun wasn't it. Remember all the clothes we bought and we couldn't even wear them for six months," she laughed.

"Mommy!" Ellen shouted as she came running over with her gift. "Look what Nana got me?"

Michelle and her Mother exchanged a smile, both feeling that shift in their relationship, as they grew older and wiser, realizing with age what the important things in life really were.

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Steve came in the front door, closing it behind him, calling out. "Do I smell pot roast cooking?" he teased, but dropping a hint as well. He came down the small hall from the foyer that led to the great room and the open kitchen that was adjacent to the family room. Beyond that the disappearing glass walls led out to the deck and their view of the Pacific.

"Daddy!" both girls came running toward him.

"Look what Nana got for us?" Elie said, holding up a necklace. "Isn't it beautiful!"

"It is," he acknowledged her, seeing Clair coming toward him.

She came in from the deck with her arms stretched out, "Steven! How's the best son-in-law in the whole world?"

"Hi Clair," he smiled. "It's great to see you." They embraced each other fondly.

She stepped back looking at his gun and badge. "Did you catch the bad guys?"

"All locked up," he said proudly, patting his badge. "You're safe and sound."

Clair laughed, taking his arm and leading him out back. "I heard your entrance plea. I'll go to the grocery store tomorrow. You make a list of what you want to eat this week besides my pot roast and I'll make it."

"Yes ma'am!" he replied rubbing his hands together.

"You are so spoiled," Michelle said as he bent over giving her a kiss hello.

"I can't help it if she likes to cook for me."

"I love doing it. I've taken several cooking classes over the past couple of years and Steve and my friends are the only ones I get to experiment on, so I take advantage of it. Believe me by the time I leave here I have it all out of my system until the next visit."

Steve patted his belly, "And I have five extras pounds. That's not a complaint," he quickly added. "It's worth every pound."

* * *

After dinner was over and they finished off a bottle of wine on the deck, it was time for the girls to go to bed.

"Can the girls sleep with me in my room tonight?" Clair asked. "I'm jet lagged. It's about two in the morning in Boston and I'm ready for bed too."

"Please!" Ellen and Elie both jumped up and down shouting and begging.

"I promise Mommy, I won't get out of bed one time," Ellen swore with her hands folded together, pleading.

"Yes," Michelle smiled, "I don't care."

"Yay!" all three of them jeered.

Steve carried her bags up and set them down in the room as Clair opened up one of the suitcases. "I brought something for you," she said to him.

"Is it a GI Joe?" he smiled.

Clair laughed, "No, close but no."

She took out a back box from her suitcase and handed it to him. "It was my grandfather's. He got it in World War II."

Steve opened it seeing the Purple Heart medal.

"I want you to have it. I want to make sure it stays in a safe place with family after I'm gone and I know you'll take care of it. I think he would have liked that. He would have liked you."

"Wow, Clair," he said taken back by her tremendous gift and words. "I don't know what to say." He put his arms around her and hugged her. "This is probably the nicest thing anyone's ever given me."

She hugged him back and then stepped back, wiping her fingers under her eyes. "I knew you'd like it."

"I do," he said admiring it. "I like it very much, and I will take care of it. I promise." The gift was something special, but it was her acceptance of him into their family that really made it special.

She rubbed her hand on his arm in a motherly way. "I know you will."

The girls came in her room carrying their pillows and dragging blankets behind them.

"Are you sure about this, Clair?" Steve asked of the girls.

"Absolutely, besides," she smiled at him. "My gift to Michelle is to get the kids out of her hair so you two can have the rest of night alone together before she leaves in the morning."

"You are the best mother-in-law ever," he said kissing her cheek.

"Right. Now shoo," she flapped her hands motioning for him to leave. "I have a date with my beautiful granddaughters."

"I'm taking my Purple Heart and I'm leaving. Have fun."

"You too," she said closing the door.

He put the medal on his dresser, deciding to have it framed alongside Michelle's Navy Expeditionary Medal she'd received for saving his life that night on the hill. It was in his office proudly on display, this new one would look just as impressive next to it.

He went back down stairs seeing Michelle in the kitchen loading the dishwasher. He came up behind and put both arms around her waist. "Leave it," he said. "The girls are with Clair for the rest of the night. It's just you and me."

"Really?" she responded happily.

"Yep, so c'mon," he took her hand, pulling her out of the kitchen.

"Where are we going?"

"Out."

"Out, where?"

"Don't ask," he patted her butt. "Go get in the truck. I have to get some stuff and I'll be out in a minute."

She didn't ask questions, just did as she was told, thrilled for a night out.

* * *

"Hold it," Michelle said, "ok, go, go, go, you got it, you got it. Perfect, stop!"

Steve put the truck in park and turned it off.

Michelle leaned over the seat to him. "You are so good," she said kissing him.

"I have a good navigator."

They both got out and climbed in the back of the truck as it sat about twenty feet from a ledge overlooking the Pacific that was just visible enough from the three quarter moon over their heads. Steve laid the tailgate down and spread out the blankets while Michelle opened a bottle of wine.

She handed him a cup and they tapped their glasses together before taking a drink.

"This is perfect," she said, leaning over and kissing him. "Thank you."

"My pleasure."

They laid down with two pillows on the tailgate and faced each other. The night air was warm but not humid considering the altitude they were at. It was comfortable.

They didn't say anything for a minute just soaking each other in as they so often did. The silence was never awkward, it was rewarding.

"You're mom gave me your grandfather's Purple Heart."

"I know. She told me she was going too. I think she was a little nervous that it might offend me."

"Did it?"

"No. I think you should have it. I think it was very a thoughtful offer and I'm glad she did it. Besides, the meaning of it fits you. You've been in several battles and I've only been in one."

Steve smiled, knowing exactly which battle that was. She had saved his life in it. "That was some battle too. Good thing for me you were there. You're an amazing woman you know that."

"Why," she chuckled, "because I thought you should have the medal?"

"Because you always think of me before yourself. Even that night."

"If that makes me amazing, then you're incredibly amazing."

"I'm just madly in love with you," he said blatantly rolling over on his stomach and looking out at the view. "You know as well as I do that I'm putty in your hands."

Michelle laughed.

"It's true woman, don't make fun of me because I'm a whipped man." He looked over at her and grinned.

She put her arm over his back, laying her chin on his shoulder. "Remember that time in Thailand when you took me on that boat ride through the market place and I ate star fruit for the first time?"

"Of course. That day is up there on my list as one of my best days ever."

She smiled over that, "I think about that day sometimes and when we were playing in the boat, splashing each other and I slipped and fell on you…"

Steve nodded, remembering it all too clear.

"I'll never forget looking at you and thinking how easy life would be with you. Even then I knew." She kissed his shoulder. "Of course it took about four years to get there."

Steve huffed, "Wasted years."

"Maybe not. Everything happens for a reason."

"So me plummeting down a mountain in a helicopter was reason?" he chuckled.

"You know what I mean. You never would have met Anai and her family."

"That's true," he agreed. "And we probably wouldn't be living here. I'm sure I would have moved to DC and that's where we would have lived."

Michelle groaned, "Geez, can you imagine?" she looked out at the view. "This is where we belong. I don't think of it as wasted years. It was fate." She kissed his shoulder again. "So you see, everything happens for a reason."

He rolled over on his side again, propping his head up in his hand. "Fate is you coming down that hill that night."

"Or you walking into my bar."

"Or you coming down that hill," he repeated, knowing she still after all these years refused to take credit for it.

"There was a cute guy down there," she teased, "of course I was going to go down."

Steve smiled.

"You know what?" Michelle said, changing the subject. "My mom asked me if I was pregnant."

"She did? Did you tell her we were trying?"

"No! She just asked out of the blue. She said I had this glow about me."

"Maybe you are," he said rolling her over on her back.

"What if we have twins again?" she said with wide, frightened eyes.

He didn't even flinch over that comment. "It might work out better that way, then Ellen and Elie won't have to fight over who gets to hold the baby."

She smiled up at him, stroking her hand over his back under his shirt. "You're always up for anything aren't you?"

"If you keep touching me like that I'm going to be up for something all right, pretty quickly," he winked at her.

"I'm going to miss you," she said sincerely, pulling him down on her. "I don't like being away from you."

He smoothed her long dark hair back with his hand, looking into her auburn eyes that sparkled in the moonlight above them. "You are so beautiful," he whispered, "Don't think for one second that you are ever away from me, Michelle. You're always with me. No matter where you are."

"Do you want to know a secret?" she whispered back.

"Yes," he grinned.

"I know why I came down that hill that night," she confessed, getting his attention because it was the first time she had ever broached the subject on her own. "For years I told myself it was because it was what I was trained to do. It was my duty." She reached up, putting a hand on his face, "but now, I consider it the greatest moment of my life, and I thank God every day for giving me the strength and guidance to be there for you. I truly believe with all my heart that I was put there for a reason and it had nothing to do with responsibility or obligation. This incredible bond that I feel with you didn't start that night I came down the hill, or the night you walked into that bar, it started the day I was born. I feel like everything I've done my whole life was for one purpose, to bring me right here into this life with you." She stroked his face. "I would come down that hill everyday for the rest of my life to keep you safe, without even a hint of hesitation. I know people say I would give my life for you as cliché' or a play on words, but I mean it, I would Steve." She smiled at him, "And I know without a shadow of a doubt that you would do the same for me."

He only showed his deepest emotions that resulted in tears to two people since becoming a man, one was Michelle the day the twins were born and the other was his father on the night he thought he lost her. He felt no shame in either knowing he was safe in their company. He was still reeling over her words that had articulated his feelings for her so precise that he had nothing left to add to what she had said to him, but it showed on him so clearly there was no reason for words.

She moved her thumb over his eye wiping away the moisture that teetered on the brim.

"You're right, Michele," he began, "I would die for you, because I can't imagine a life without you." He shook his head at the just the thought of it. "I can't."

He brushed his lips over hers, "You're my best friend."

She closed her eyes and kissed him, feeling a tear escape out of the corner.

* * *

Michelle sat up from resting her head on his shoulder as they pulled into the driveway of the house. She was still reeling over their time spent together the last couple of hours. She felt like they were in a new place in their relationship, wishing now more than ever that she wasn't leaving in the morning.

Steve got out and held his hand out to her as she slipped out the driver's side after him.

She held onto it as they walked to the front door. She stopped just before he had a chance to unlock it and stood in front of him.

"I had fun tonight. Thank you for a wonderful date."

He smiled at her, "You're welcome. I had fun too." He moved a little closer to her. "Do you think there's a chance I could see you again sometime," he teased, pretending to be dropping her off as if it were a real date.

Michelle played along with him. "I have kids you know, twin girls."

"I love kids."

"Then yes, I think I would like to see you again."

He slid an arm around her waist. "Is it ok if I kiss you goodnight?"

She had been married to him for over five years and kissed him countless times, but somehow this one she was anticipating more than any other. It just followed the mood of the night, not only that, but he also looked incredibly handsome as he stood there with his smoldering blues eyes looking at her so charming and masculine she actually felt her knees weaken.

"I guess one kiss would be all right," she whispered to him.

He grinned and moved in slowly, as if it really were their first kiss.

Her heart pounded, anticipating the feel of his lips on hers. When it did happen she felt it skip as he pulled her up against him, not holding anything back as all his years of knowing his wife played out in that single moment. They were in perfect sync as they played with each other, the timing impeccable of knowing when to break just long enough to tilt to the other side, which only made it heat up even more.

Michelle let out a soft moan as they eased down from it and slowly broke apart.

He rested his forehead on hers, enjoying the aftermath, loving the way it made him feel.

"Do you want to come inside," she asked, continuing with their game.

Steve's smile widened, "Yes ma'am!"

She wrapped her arms around his neck as he lifted her up with one arm and unlocked the front door, carrying her inside.

* * *

Michelle nestled her face in the nape of his neck, whispering in his ear as he made love to her.

"I love you so much."

She heard his reaction in a pleasing sigh and felt it as he pushed deeper into her and pulled her closer to him. He searched out her lips, kissing her for not only saying it, but for feeling it too.

She moved with him, lifting her hips off the bed, keeping a perfect rhythm with his body. They knew each other so well it was like a well-choreographed dance. The way he could make her body sing was pure talent on his part. He'd always been a good lover, but over the years he'd mastered the skill of being able to please her in the most sensuous of ways that often times left her dazed when he was through with her.

He rose above her, looking down at the beautiful creation that was his wife. He slowed his pace, savoring this time with her, hating that she was leaving him but anticipating her return too. The night she got back was going to be just as rewarding as this one was.

He slowly slid his hand down the front of her body, admiring the soft skin beneath his palm and fingertips. His eyes moved back up locking with hers as he leaned down closer to her face, keeping the visual that only intensified the moment for both of them.

"So beautiful," he told her with a grin. "I'm so lucky to have you, Michelle."

She rose up on her elbow, getting closer to him. "Are you? Do I make you happy, Steve?" she asked him wanting nothing more in the world than for his answer to be yes, knowing then that she had succeeded in her endearing attempt.

"Always. You're the only woman I've ever loved, and you'll always be the only woman I'll ever love."

There were times like this when his romantic side would surface and make her heart soar, leaving her breathless. "I'll never be with another man for as long as I live. I feel so blessed to have found you too."

He kissed her again, sliding his arm under her waist and gripping her. She knew what he wanted and locked her legs around him as he lifted her up, sitting back on his heels, keeping her straddled around him.

She held on around his neck keeping a steady gaze on him as she took control of their love making now, both loving this position for obvious reasons.

His hand slid up her back until it was covered with her hair, gripping it ever so gently, tilting her head back and kissing her neck from one side to the next as she moaned happily over that move, picking up her pace knowing what he liked and what she liked too.

"Oh, that's good," he moaned, facing her again, looking into her as she moved on him.

He held her tightly pushing into her as he watched her eyes soften and look at him in that way that made his heart soar; she was so beautiful, always amazed at his good fortune for being where he was at that moment. He was truly blessed. She was the love of his life and at that second he was taking every advantage of that love, feeling it move through him like he'd been struck by lightening. Every nerve tingled and his head swirled as he entered those few second of shear and utter ecstasy, all because of her.

She watched with pleasure as she catapulted both she and her husband to that ultimate state of bliss. His expression weakened at the same time that her body trembled over the same feeling that seemed to ricochet off of each other. The deep, low growl coming from him only made it more pleasurable for her, loving that sound knowing it was a good one for him.

He laid her back on the bed, thanking her with a kiss that turned into another one and then another, until they lay in the aftermath, making out like teenagers. It just felt too good to stop.

She ran her hands over his head and body as he looked down at her with a pleasing smile.

"God you are gorgeous," Michelle blurted out, smiling as she saw the bashful reaction from the truthful compliment show on his face. "You are," she said again.

It felt good to hear, giving him that sense of security that every man needed to feel. His wife was a master at making him feel it. "I love you," he said sincerely and with a smile.

She hugged him tightly as he rolled them over on their sides, still clinging to each other. He pulled her pillow down and tucked it under her head, making her confortable. They lay in that position for a long time, just talking about plans they had made and making new ones. Briefly discussing the baby that was maybe growing inside of her as they spoke of the future. They were in no rush for the new addition, letting Mother Nature take its course, assured she would bless them when the time was right.

They made love again before falling asleep neatly tucked into each other's embrace. It was like heaven on earth.

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Ellen and Elie both stood in front of Michelle as she sat on the stairs, holding each one of their hands. "You be good for Nana, and help out Daddy, ok?"

They both nodded.

"I'll call as often as I can through the computer, and I want to hear everything you did that day."

"How many days until you come home?" Elie asked somberly.

"Ten. It's not very long," Michelle replied trying to sound positive but feeling the separation already. She knew neither girl understood the true meaning of ten days, but the looks on both of their faces was painful. "C'mon now," she said pulling them both in and hugging them tightly. "I had a great idea. When I get back I think the three of us should go and have a special day together."

Ellen wiped the back of her hand across her eyes, "Like what?"

"I was thinking we could go have a nice lunch somewhere and then we could go and get our nails and toes painted. What do you think?"

Both girls nodded and smiled.

"That's my girls," she hugged them again. "I can't wait!"

Steve leaned against the wall by the front door watching her, knowing how hard this was on her. He was glad it was the last trip, hating to see her have to say goodbye to them. He glanced out the window by the front door seeing the black sedan pull in the driveway. He hated her having to say goodbye to him as well.

"Cars here," he said.

She looked up at him and then at the girls, "I have to go. I love you. Can I have a big hug to hold me over until I see you again?"

They both put their arms around her neck and squeezed. "I love you too, Mommy."

"Bigger!" she said.

They both squeezed harder as she fell back on the steps, taking them with her, all three of them laughing. She kissed them over and over before she stood up. "I'll bring you back presents. Something special for each one of you." She looked at each of them once more as they held on around her waist. "I love you."

Clair came up next and hugged her. "Have a safe flight honey. I love you. Don't worry about things around here. I'll take care of everything and everyone. You just do your job and get back home safely."

"Thanks Mom. I love you too."

She waved good-bye to the girls as she stepped outside with Steve. He put his hand on her shoulder and as they walked to the car it slid down her arm until his hand was in hers. They stopped a few feet away as the driver put her bags in the back.

Steve took her hand that he held and brought it up to his lips, kissing the back of it as he looked at her. "Last trip."

"Last trip," she smiled. "I'll call you as soon as I can," she promised.

He sighed, putting his arms around her as they embraced each other. He repeated his standard plea before every departure. "I love you. Be careful, be safe, don't go out at night alone and don't go out without your passport." She was as capable as any man he knew, knowing well her background as a Seal and her extensive training, but when you took that all away she was still his wife and he worried. He pulled back looking at her as he reached in his back pocket and pulled out his phone, showing her the app with a countdown clock, set for the hour of her return. "I'm counting down the days."

She put an arm around his neck. "Let me leave you with a little going away present for my return." She reached around and cupped his right buttock. "If you think last night was something baby, you just wait ten days from now. I'm going to eat you alive."

Steve laughed, "I can barely walk from last night. I'll make sure I take plenty of vitamins and exercise until then."

She removed her hand and moved it up his back, putting the silliness aside. "I love you. I promise I'll be safe, I promise I'll be careful. I won't go out at night alone and I'll always keep my passport with me."

The driver cleared his throat getting her attention. "Ma'am," he said in a very monotone voice, "the plane is set to leave at twelve hundred hours and I'm ordered to have you arrive thirty minutes early."

Neither one gave him the courtesy of breaking their line of vision away from the other.

"Duty calls," she sighed. "Love you."

He gave her a kiss, holding it for a few seconds before moving to her cheek and then hugging her again. "I love you too. Be good." He gave her a couple gentle pats on the butt as she broke away from him and got in the car. The driver closed the door and quickly got in the other side, needing to speed to keep up with his schedule that was now five minutes behind.

Michelle looked out the window and blew him a kiss as well as the girls who stood at the door with her mother as they pulled out of the driveway.

Steve smiled and raised a hand, waiting until the car was out of sight. The instant it was, his hand came down and his smile faded. He stood in the driveway feeling that space in his heart that was empty without her.

The feeling would remain until she came home and was back by his side.

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Michelle boarded the private jet and took a seat behind a small table across from her boss Bryan List. He was there to fill her in on the details of the trip but not accompany her. He was dressed in his standard dark suit, white shirt and dark tie. He was a few years older than her, but the stress of his job aged him faster than nature intended. He wasn't military and had never served a day in the armed forces but had risen to the top of National Intelligence by sheer brains and determination. He was straightforward and emotionless when it came to the job. She'd couldn't recall ever seeing him really smile, let alone laugh, wondering if he even had teeth behind that cement grin that he greeted her with.

"I have your papers here." He handed her a thick manila envelope. "The agenda is outlined in the file on your laptop. Standard protocol." He handed her a thirteen-inch MacBook laptop that was only accessible to her when she went on trips as well as a secured cell phone. They were given to her the day she left with the needed material uploaded and then taken back when she returned so they could be swept and cleaned, ready for her next assignment. She always brought her own civilian cell with her too so she could call Steve. Neither of them liked talking over the secured line, knowing well there was someone listening.

"Where am I headed?" she asked.

"Jordan," he replied dryly. "You're aware of the negotiations we have been working on for a new joint military establishment to be constructed just outside of Ar Ruwayshid. We've been working out the details with their government for two years and have just now over the last couple of months agreed upon the precise location. That's where you'll be headed."

Michelle laid out the map on the table between them, using the instructions from the coordinates in the papers to pinpoint the exact location. She looked up at him, "That's near the border of Iraq."

"Fifty miles to be exact," Bryan replied. "We feel we need to establish a foot hold in that region to secure a stable balance between the two countries."

"You mean to protect the Jordanian border from rebels who've been terrorizing those neighboring cities for the past two years. I was under the impression that the Jordanian government had built a strong hold along the border and had that situation under control since the war ended in Iraq."

"This isn't about rebel attacks, Lieutenant. This is about a force that has been growing under the leadership of an Iraqi extremist who has gained local support and is being supplied ammunition that threatens the border and safety of Jordanian residence. If they continue to grow in numbers and strength, which they have done over the past year, then we feel terrorist attacks that could lead into Jordan, Israel and Syria is imminent. We are simply putting into action the necessary force needed to protect our place in that region of the world. I can't even begin to tell you the importance of this relationship and trust we are launching by this deal with them. But you know that already."

She nodded her understanding, not that she agreed with it, but it wasn't her place to argue the point, nor was it reasonable. There was more to the situation that she knew as a fact but whatever it was, it was above her security clearance. Her job was to supply the agreed upon contracts negotiate the fine print as instructed to their government and return with them signed.

Bryan gathered up his paperwork and put it neatly back into his briefcase.

Michelle stood up with him as he got ready to disembark from the plane. "I'll be in touch. There'll be a car waiting at the airport for you when you land to take you to your hotel."

"A hotel," Michelle repeated, pleasantly surprised. Her usual accommodations were the US Embassy or a Naval base."

"Yes," Bryan said, "I booked you a suite at a nice hotel in Ar Ruwayshid. I figured for your last trip I would make it memorable." He extended his hand to her. "I'm hoping that you will change your mind on the travel portion of your job."

Michelle shook his hand firmly. "Thank you Bryan, but I'm pretty adamant on my decision."

He didn't broach the subject again, wondering if her husband had a part in changing her mind. He didn't know Steve personally, only having met him at social ceremonies and gatherings, but he knew his reputation well. He wasn't the type of personality that he would like to have working for him, not that that situation would ever arise. Bryan knew that when Steve had worked Naval Intelligence, his credentials had been well above his own security clearance. If anything, he would have been working for Steve.

Michelle sat back down after his departure and strapped herself in as the engines began to roar. The single flight attendant on board came by and gave her water, asking if there was anything else she wanted before take off. Michelle declined the offer, looking out the window at the Kualoa Mountains in the distance. She could already feel that separation from her family and she hadn't even left yet Hawaii yet.

She sat back in her seat and closed her eyes while the plane taxied toward the runway. The only pleasing thing about this trip was that it was her last one. She tried to focus on that aspect as they prepared for takeoff.

She suddenly felt an eerie discomfort arise in her as her eyes flew open. She looked back out the window as the plane picked up speed, shooting down the runway. She gripped the arms of the seat, trying to fight off the strong urge to tell them to stop.

She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to ease herself down, feeling the plane rumbling below her feet. Seconds later all was calm and smooth as they lifted off the ground.

She sat back in her seat and closed her eyes again, thinking about Steve and the girls and what they would be doing at this moment.

The uneasy feeling disappeared and she settled into her fourteen-hour flight to Amman, Jordan.

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Steve sat out on the lanai off he and Michelle's bedroom looking out at the dark ocean in front him. His thoughts on his wife who was out there somewhere in the world, wishing he had her destination. He hated the first twenty-four hours, not knowing where she was. She always called as soon as she could but in those hours before, he had a hard time sleeping, working or thinking about anything else but her safety.

He heard his bedroom door that was ajar creak just slightly from the salt-water build up in the joints as it opened. He looked over his shoulder seeing Elie standing there holding her small rag doll, wearing her purple night gown with her long dark hair partly covering her face. She stared at him timidly, not sure if she was going to be in trouble or not for being up.

If it had been Ellen he might have scolded her and sent her back to bed, reminding her of the punishment that was going to be enforced the next day, but not with Elie, if she were up it was because she was either worried about her Mother, or worried about him. There were no ulterior motives.

He smiled and motioned with his fingers for her to come over.

She smiled happily and ran toward him knowing all was well.

"Hi Daddy," she said sweetly, standing at the side of his chair as he reached over and picked her up under the arms, setting her on his lap.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked her.

She shook her head as she snuggled up to him, resting her head on his chest.

"How long is ten days for?" she asked, as he pulled her nightgown over her legs to keep her warm.

He put his arms around her small body, holding her in place. "You know how long you have to wait for a new Sponge Bob before another episode comes on? It's that long plus three more days."

She looked up at him concerned, because that was a long time.

The sadness in her eyes over the realization was heartbreaking to him. He knew what she was feeling because he felt it too. He slid a piece of her dark hair behind her ear, smiling down at her. "It'll go by quick. Mom will call everyday and you and Ellen will be able to talk to her on the computer, so it will be like she's right here." He tried to put a silver lining on the depressing subject for her. "And Nana is here, so you'll be busy having fun with her. The time will go by quick."

She wasn't satisfied with that answer, knowing how much they all missed her when she was gone. "Do you feel sad when she goes away too?"

"Yes, it makes me sad when she leaves, but then I'm always so happy when she comes home."

"Me too," she smiled. "I'm happy too when she comes home." She put her doll, Susie, up against his cheek. "Susie gave you a kiss and said don't be sad."

He smiled at the doll. "Thank you Susie. I feel better now." He leaned down and kissed Elie's cheek. "You make me feel better too."

"I do?" she asked, but the look on her face told him how pleased she was to hear that.

"Yes. How could I be sad with the most charming, beautiful and sweetest little girl in the world curled up on my lap."

Elie sat up and wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed. "I love you, Daddy."

He squeezed her back, wondering how she knew this was exactly what he needed. "I love you too, sweetie."

She curled back up again on his lap. "Tell me the story of when I was born."

He smiled, having told her that story so many times that she knew it better than he did, but somehow she felt comfort in hearing it over and over, so obliged her again. "It was the happiest day of my life. Uncle Danny and I were at the office when we got the call from Mommy that her water broke and you and Ellen where ready to come out. We jumped in Danny's car and raced as fast as we could to the hospital."

"You didn't even stop at red lights, did you?" she knew the answer but liked the way he told it.

"Nope. Danny went so fast the tires were barely touching the ground, and he had the sirens going, honking at people to get out of the way!" He moved his arms wildly, imitating what he would have looked like.

Elie laughed over that part every time, imagining Uncle Danny doing all that stuff while driving. She pictured it like a cartoon.

"And then we got there…" he continued.

"And you ran up the stairs because you didn't want to miss us being born," she finished his sentence.

"Yep, and when I came in the room, Mommy was so happy to see me. I held her hand until you both came out."

"And then the nurse put us in blankets and you got to hold us."

"I got to hold you for the first time."

"And then you cried, didn't you Daddy, because you were so happy, not because you were sad, but because you were happy we were born?"

He looked down at her remembering that day like it was yesterday. "Yes. I cried because I was very happy." He held his hand out. "I used to be able to hold you in one hand."

Elie giggled, never hearing that part before. She took his hand looking at the size of it, amazed that she was that small. She looked up at him. "When I grow up I won't be able to sit on your lap either. I'll be big like you and Mommy."

He cradled her like a baby, making a sad face. "I'll miss that. Times like this are some of my favorite in the whole world." He lifted her up and planted a kiss on her lips. "No matter how big you get Elie, you will always be my little princess and I'll always love you just the same."

Those words were like a security blanket that wrapped around her, making her feel warm and safe. She believed every word he said as if it were the gospel truth, because after all it came from Daddy, and Daddy never lied. Sitting where she was at the moment was the safest place on earth.

He stretched his legs out as she slowly yielded to the late night. He felt content as well. She had managed to fill that void in his heart for the time being that he felt for Michelle. This little person sitting on his lap was a part of both of them, created from that unwavering love that they had for each other. His family was his life, never taking one second with them for granted.

He smiled down at Elie thinking of the baby he and Michelle were trying for. The thought of another set of twins really didn't scare him at all. They would be his kids. He thought of his little spitfire Ellen and how different she was from Elie. He loved them both so much it was overwhelming sometimes the joy he would feel when they would run to him as he came through the front door after work. It was his favorite part of the day, rushing home to be with the people who loved him just as much. Even the baby they were trying for had already found a place in his heart.

He was a lucky man, he thought proudly, the luckiest guy in the world.


	2. Chapter 2

Steve smiled, reaching for his phone seeing his favorite picture of Michelle on the front as she called him.

"Hey baby, where are you," he asked first, needing to put his mind at ease.

"Jordan."

"Jordan? What's going on there?" He sat down on the bed, forgoing getting dressed for work, giving the call his full attention.

She felt no issue with telling Steve of the reason for her being there, and he knew that it stopped with him as well. "They negotiated to have a small base open on the border by Ar Ruwayshid. I guess the neighbors are getting pushy again."

"Saudi Arabia or Iraq?"

"Iraq. Are the girls awake?" she asked wanting to change the subject.

He got up walking to the bedroom door. "I'll get em' up."

"No Steve, that's ok, I only have a minute. I just wanted to let you know where I was. I know that first twenty-four hours drives you crazy. Don't tell them I called. I'll call back tonight."

He stood in the middle of the room, knowing then it was going to be a short call, wanting to get the most out of it. "I love you. Where are you staying?"

"I love you too," Michelle smiled. "Believe it or not I'm at a pretty decent hotel."

"A hotel?" he chuckled. "You mean no one star accommodations at the local Shangri La?"

Michelle laughed, knowing he was speaking of the US Embassy. "Nope. Bryan decided to treat me for my last trip."

"Aww," Steve remarked sarcastically. "What a sweet guy."

"I know you don't like him, but this is his way of saying 'job well done Michelle'."

"Seems odd," he repeated in the same sarcastic tone, "but just saying good job would be nice too, but I think Mr. Roboto would never get the connection there. He might have to smile."

Michelle grinned, knowing it was his way of sticking up for her. "I have to run. I love you, kiss the girls for me and I'll talk to you later."

"Ok, love you too. Be safe."

He hung up, looking down at his phone and took in a deep breath letting it out slowly; part of him was relieved to have heard from her so he could put that worry aside, but the other part that missed her sprang back up after hearing her voice. It was a catch-22. He was never fully at ease unless she was standing next to him.

* * *

"Good morning," Clair said cheerfully as he came in the kitchen.

"Good morning."

She poured him a cup of fresh coffee, topping it off with a splash of cream and handed it to him. "What do you want for breakfast?"

Steve smiled brightly, "I should say, 'Clair, you don't have to cater to me.'" He took the coffee from her, "but I'm not going to say that." He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "I'll have eggs and bacon please." He knew taking care of him and the girls was her greatest joy on these trips and it wouldn't do him or her one-ounce of good to try and tell her she was doing too much.

"Coming right up," she said happily.

"Michelle called me a few minutes ago," he said sitting at the counter with his coffee.

"She did? How is she? Where is she?"

"She's good. She's in Jordan. She was in a hurry and said she'd call back tonight."

Clair cracked two eggs in the pan, knowing he liked them over easy. She looked over her shoulder at him, also hearing the change in his voice. He was missing his wife that she could tell right away. Her heart went out to him over that, but it also made it soar, so pleased that her daughter had found someone that loved her enough to worry even when there wasn't cause for it. She loved him for that.

"Do you want to go get the girls up and when you come back down breakfast will be ready?"

Steve smiled, "Sure."

She knew that would get his mind off of Michelle and the phone call for the time being.

He came down a few minutes later with Elie walking beside him and Ellen lying over his shoulder. She was always the slow one to wake up, where as her sister was definitely a morning person.

"Morning Nana," Elie said, pulling a barstool out away from the counter and crawling up on it.

Clair turned around from the stove. "Well good morning sunshine!" She took a coffee cup from the cupboard and filled it with orange juice. "A little coffee this morning ma'am?" she said in southern accent.

Elie giggled, taking the cup. "Thank you."

Steve pulled out a barstool with his foot and set Ellen down on it. She made a cranky face, wiping her fingers over her eyes.

"I think Ellen could use some real coffee," Steve smiled, pushing her up to the counter so she wouldn't fall off the chair.

Clair put two bowls in front of them and reached up in the cupboard and took out a box of Captain Crunch. Elie's eyes lit up as she nudged her sister.

"Ellen, look what Nana has for breakfast!"

Ellen looked up and her face brightened over the treat. "Mommy never lets us have that kind."

Clair shook out some in each one of their bowls. "Well, Mommy isn't here and Nana says yes." She glanced over at Steve to see his reaction as he raised his hands up in defense.

"Hey, I'm not saying a word, besides, who am I to judge this week. I eat like a king. Why shouldn't my princesses eat good too?" He sat down next to Ellen and reached over taking one out of her bowl and popping it in his mouth. "These are too good to be bad for you."

Clair set his plate of bacon and eggs down in front of him. "Change your mind?" she asked grinning at him.

He rubbed his hands together vigorously, "No ma'am! Breakfast is served."

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Michelle rolled over in bed looking at the time on her cell phone. She'd got back to the hotel late after hours of meetings and negotiating the contracts that were supposed to be ready to sign, but as Government issues went, nothing was ever concrete.

She picked up her phone wanting to call home when everyone would be there together. Hawaii was twelve hours behind so she knew it would be seven o'clock in the evening, hoping Steve didn't have a late night at work. The computer call was going to be off limits. On a normal trip she could FaceTime with her computer, but not this time. She would have to settle using her phone.

Steve picked up his phone off the end table next to the couch, showing Ellen who the caller was.

"Mommy!" she yelled out happily as Steve answered the call, holding up the phone so they could see her face. "Hi Mommy. I miss you."

Michelle felt her heart soar as she sat up in bed, instantly awake over the sound and sight of Ellen jumping up and down, waving at her. "Hi sweetie. I miss you too. Are you having fun with Nana?"

"Yes! Today we went to the grocery store and she let us pick out any kind of candy we wanted. A whole bag!"

"Oh my goodness!" Michelle replied, deciding to sound excited for her rather than sound like a whiny mother. "Save me a piece for when I get home."

"I will. I promise."

"Hi Mommy," Elie shouted standing near her. "How come she's not on the computer so we can see her face bigger?"

Steve knew it was because of this particular assignment. The laptop would only be used for work purposes.

"We'll set Mommy right here so everyone can see her, and she can see everyone." Steve propped the phone up on the coffee table. "Hey honey, can you see the girls?"

"Yes. Hi everybody!"

They all replied cheerfully and waved, even Clair.

Steve sat back and let them control the conversation and have their time with her, knowing his would come after they were finished.

She got the run down of their day and Elie told her how happy Daddy was when he got home because they had cooked him pot roast.

"We made little tiny potatoes," Elie explained, "and carrots and corn and Daddy ate everything that was on his plate and then had more!"

She and Ellen both giggled.

"You should see how much food he ate Mommy," Ellen jumped in. "We thought his tummy was going to blow up."

"I've seen him eat like that," she laughed. "Where he holds it, I don't know."

Steve stood up and grinned at the girls, holding both his arms up and flexing his muscles. "Right here. This is where I hold it."

Elie explained to her mother what he was doing as Ellen jumped up and grabbed a hold of one of his biceps and held on as he held her up with it.

"I want to try!" Elie shouted running over and grabbing the other one.

"See," Steve said, holding them both up easily. "Eat a good dinner and you become like King Titan."

Clair reached over for the phone, "Oh my God," she laughed. "You have to see this Michelle." She held the phone up in their direction. "I'm sending you a picture."

She snapped a couple on the phone and sent them.

"Look at my big strong husband. You're Daddy is like Tarzan," she smiled at them.

"He's King Titan!" Ellen burst out, swinging back and forth.

Steve dropped both his arms as the girls fell. "Awl," he moaned over the stress of holding them for so long. "I feel more like Wimpy."

They talked for a while longer until she said goodbye to the girls and her mother as Steve took the phone, going out on the back deck for privacy while Clair made the girls ice cream shakes.

"Alone at last," he said, looking at her face in the phone.

"I wish you were sitting next to me," Michelle said with a glum face.

"Me too. Of course I'd rather be lying down next to you. Speaking of which, what are you wearing?" he asked devilishly. "Give me a little peak of the goods to hold me over until you get home."

Michelle bit her bottom lip and moved the phone down over her body, showing him the old t-shirt of his that she wore to bed most nights. "You are all over me," she whispered seductively.

"I wish I was all over you," he sighed, looking back at her beautiful face. "I woke up last night at about two in the morning," he confessed, "and rolled over wanting some late night lovin when I felt the empty bed and remembered you were gone." He moaned at the memory. "It was heartbreaking."

"What did you do," Michelle grinned.

"I went back to sleep," he said proudly.

"Liar," she teased him.

"Swear to God," he said, holding up his right hand. "I'm saving it for when you get home."

"Does that mean phone sex is off the table?" She moved the phone down her body again, lifting the bottom of her shirt just enough to expose a bare hip that told him she was panty-less.

"Stop!" he said firmly, feeling his body begin to heat up. He looked over his shoulder making sure they were still alone.

"Do you miss me?" Michelle continued to torment him.

He turned the tables on her, not using his body as the weapon but used his words and the seductive tone of his voice instead, knowing his wife well enough to know what she liked. "I miss sliding my hands up your soft body while I'm slowly making love to you, and kissing that place on your neck that makes you moan out loud."

"Mmm," she moaned imitating that sound he liked, feeling the effect of his words pass through her. "You've got a talent for this."

He smiled proudly, loving the reaction on her face. "Thank you."

"I'm not sure I'll be able to have the same restraint as you after that."

Steve let out pleasing moan himself over that remark; "Just don't tell me about it, it'll push me over the edge."

Michelle smiled, looking at his image on the phone that could make her heart skip. "I love you," she said sincerely, feeling it twice fold "I love that you are the one person in this world that knows me better than anyone else. And I love that we can say anything to each other and know that love will always be the same, no matter what."

"Believe me," Steve added, "no one is happier about that than me. You're the only person that knows all of my crazy, dirty little secrets, and the best part," he winked at her, "I think you like them."

Michelle giggled, "I do. I like everything about you."

He felt that separation between them even more. "Now I'm really missing you."

She could see it on his face, as he looked at her, wondering if her expression to him was just as blue. "I miss you too."

They stepped into one of those silent moments as they looked at each other, soaking the other in.

Michelle took her fingers and slid them over her phone screen, "This is going to be the longest six days ever."

Steve nodded in agreement. "I know. You've been away before, and longer than six days, but somehow this one seems harder than the others."

"I feel like we've kind of entered into this second honeymoon stage of our marriage, you know what I mean?"

Steve smiled, "Yes. I feel like I did when we were in Thailand for those four days."

"You mean that puppy love crush, can't get enough, just want to just stare and hold hands with that other person kind of feeling?"

"Exactly," he laughed.

"It feels good, doesn't it?" she sighed.

"It feels really good. Have I told you before that I love being married to you?"

"Yes you have, but I can stand to hear it again." She looked at the clock on her nightstand, hating that her time was growing short with him. "I have an eight o'clock meeting. I need to jump in the shower."

Steve smiled brightly. "Is that phone waterproof?"

"Settle down cowboy," she smiled back. "That's only going to get you in trouble and break your streak."

Steve laughed. "Ok, I'm restraining myself once again." He puckered his lips, imitating a kiss. "Have a good day. I love you. Be safe."

Michelle returned the gesture by blowing him a kiss. "I love you too. Sleep well my handsome prince. Bye." She waved before she hung up.

He sat there looking out over the water as the sun made its final appearance of the day. It was a beautiful ending as the water sparkled and the colors on the horizon changed from pink to purple. It was one of the prettiest he'd ever seen.

He took a picture and sent it to Michelle with the caption. ' _It's almost as pretty as you_.' She was right in her clarification of their renewed relationship status. He did feel it just like she said. It was odd how it came in waves over the years. He always loved her, but there were times, like now that he just couldn't stand being away from her and there was nothing that could occupy his mind enough to take her out of the equation for more than a minute.

He heard steps behind him, looking back and seeing Clair.

"Here," she said, handing him a glass. "I made you a chocolate shake."

He took the glass, not remembering the last time he had one. "Thank you. This looks really good."

"You're welcome." She put a hand on his shoulder, holding it there for a second before she patted it gently. "And thank you for loving my daughter so much. It gives me comfort, it really does."

He looked back up at her, surprised over that statement.

She didn't wait for a reply and walked off, there was no need for one. She just wanted him to know that.

He watched her go back in the house, not sure where that came from, but liked the sound of it. If that was all that he had to do to make his mother-in-law happy, he thought, he was set for life.

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Michelle got out of the back seat of the car in front of the building where she'd spent a majority of the night before, as she began walking to toward the entrance when her work phone went off.

"Hello," she said.

"Ms. McGarrett, this is Hassar."

His English was spot on but he still held the deep Jordanian accent. Michelle took in a deep silent breath and gritted her teeth angrily, knowing the only reason for the call that was coming five minutes before the meeting was because he wasn't there.

"Please forgive the late call," Hassar continued, "but the meetings have been cancelled for the day. There have been some circumstances that have arisen that are in need of my attention. I hope you can understand."

She shook her head annoyed, "Absolutely, I understand," she lied, angry that if this delayed her another day from going home she was going to be furious. "We will be able to meet tomorrow, Hassar, correct? I'm hoping to get the contracts signed and give my boss some good news. All these delays on signing the contracts that have already been approved upon are making my bosses in Washington a little sketchy about moving forward."

"I understand. Tomorrow, we will meet tomorrow. The driver has been instructed to take you back to the hotel. He will be unavailable to escort you the remainder of the day, so please, I ask that you remain in the hotel until he returns in the morning to pick you up for the meetings."

She thought that was an odd request. "Hassar, are you suggesting that I stay in the hotel or are you warning me that I should stay in the hotel?" She heard silence on the other end. "Hassar, whatever it is that's in need of your attention today, do I need to be concerned of that?"

"We've had some issues at the border, but I can assure you Ms. McGarrett that my people have it under control. I'm only suggesting that you remain in your hotel."

She wasn't sure she believed him; this whole trip that had started out routine had suddenly gone in a different direction. Her first sign was the re-negotiating of the contracts and the desire for US troops to arrive before the dates that had already been agreed upon, and now this. "All right then," Michelle replied, knowing if that's all he was going to give her then there was no need to push further, that's all he was going to give her no matter what questions she asked, "I'll see you tomorrow for our meeting." She ended the call with a growl as she got back in the car.

She waited until she got back to her room before she called Bryan.

"Michelle. How did the meetings go today?" He glanced at his watch, knowing the time difference and knowing if she were calling already then things must have gone well.

"The meetings were cancelled and it's been 'suggested',' she said emphasizing that word, "that I remain in the hotel today." She stood at the sliding glass door of her room looking out at the small city. "Have you heard anything about a skirmish at the border?"

"Nothing that's come to our attention." Bryan sat up in his chair and took ahold of his mouse, moving it around until he brought up the secure screen he was looking for. He read over a few messages that came from the US Embassy in Jordan about a border crossing issue but nothing that warranted a US security lock down for citizens working abroad. "The Embassy has reported troops heading to the border of Syria.

Michelle knew protocol when in a foreign country. "Should I head to the Embassy?" she asked.

Syria is three hundred miles north of you. Washington hasn't even issued an alert yet. I suggest you stay where you are. By the time you got there, it'll probably be over and then you'll just have to make that long drive back for the meetings tomorrow." He sat back in his chair. "We need to get those contracts signed Michelle, what's the hold up?"

"It's all in my report I sent last night. They want to re-negotiate the time frame for US troops. It has me wondering now with this border skirmish if something isn't up that they aren't telling us. Maybe this border threat is greater than they are letting on."

"Let me make some calls, Michelle. I'll be in touch." He caught her just before she hung up. "Michelle."

"Yes, Sir."

"For the time being I think it would be a good idea for you to stay at the hotel. I don't feel a threat in the least but it's just a precaution."

"Yes, Sir."

She hung up and looked out over the city again. She couldn't even call it a city, but Jordan did. It couldn't have been any bigger than Lanikai, which to her was a town. She stepped out on the balcony and a wave of warm air hit her. It was going to be a hot day, she could tell already. She looked down at the street four stories below in front of the hotel. There were a few taxicabs lined up but nothing seemed out of the ordinary that she could see. She felt no anxiety and went back inside, closing the doors but kept the curtains open for the light. She had nothing to do but sit. The hotel had a pool but she hadn't brought anything to swim in anyway, regretting it now. Her trips usually left little room for any leisure time. She sat down on the bed and picked up her Kindle and began to read the latest book she'd begun on the plane.

The time difference began to catch up with her as she relaxed, not feeling that rush of work. She thought about calling Steve but knew he'd be in bed already and she didn't want to bother him, let alone worry him. She smiled over that; glad there was someone out there that did just that. He was a good husband, he was good man she thought even more so.

She lay over on her side and looked out the window thinking about him as she slowly drifted off to sleep.

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Steve rolled over and picked up his ringing cell.

He tried to focus on the front display seeing dispatches' number appear and groaned, knowing he had to get up.

"McGarrett," he answered sitting up.

They filled him in on the details of the crime scene as he nodded, repeating his standard reply.

"I'm on my way."

He set the phone down, not bothering to call Danny or the others, knowing their calls were being placed by dispatch as he sat there.

He wiped his hands over his face and pushed himself up, going into the bathroom and turning the shower on first, letting it warm up as he emptied his bladder.

He stepped inside and moved under the warm water, turning his head and yawning as he did.

"Shit," he mumbled, feeling the lack of a good night sleep due to the absence of his wife. He poured some shampoo in his hand, rubbing it over his head, working it into a lather and then bringing it down over his face and body. He leaned back under the spout and rinsed off.

He turned the water off and reached outside the shower for a towel, wrapping it around his waist, allowing himself to dry off naturally. He felt it helped with the wakeup process. The whole ritual lasted no more than two minutes.

He came down the stairs five minutes later seeing the light on in the kitchen.

"What are you doing up?" he asked Clair as he came in, seeing her pouring coffee into a travel mug. Her hair was in disarray as if she had just jumped out of bed. It was a look he'd seen on his wife many times and even his two daughters, the resemblance between all of them was uncanny.

"I heard the shower come on and knew you must have got called into work. I knew a pot of coffee would take to long so I did a Kuerig instead. She topped it off with some cream.

"You are going way above the call of duty, Clair." He scolded her.

She screwed the top on and handed it to him just as the toaster popped up. "Hold on," she said, "you have to put something in your stomach."

He held his ground, grinning at her as she slapped some butter on the toast.

"Here," she handed it to him. "I wanted to make you a sandwich with the leftover pot roast to take with you to work today. If you and your partner want to come home for lunch I'll have a couple ready for you."

Steve shook his head. "You are way, way to good to me."

"Nonsense," she yawned, walking past him to the stairs. "Have a nice day and be safe please."

"Yes ma'am," he replied obediently, taking a bite of his toast as he made his way to the door. "I'll let you know about that lunch date."

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The phone in Michelle's room rang as she woke up out a dead sleep. The room was dimly lit as the afternoon sun moved behind the building. She reached over for the cordless phone on the nightstand, not sure why it would be ringing.

"Hello," she said.

"Michelle," Bryan replied in a tone that she'd never heard before. He sounded almost panicked. "Listen to me. I want you to get to an Embassy as soon as possible."

She sat up on the side of the bed, hearing the intensity in his voice. "What's happened?"

"There's been a kidnapping of two English government employees in a town about thirty miles from you. You need to get to Eilat. There's a German Embassy there that has agreed to take you in."

"What about Dimona? There's a US Embassy there?"

"No! It's too dangerous to go north. You need to get to that Embassy as soon as possible. It's about fifty miles south. You'll be safe there." He wanted to kick himself for not putting her there to begin with.

She ran to the sliding glass door, looking over the side of the balcony. There were two taxicabs below.

"Hassar told me I wouldn't have a driver today, but I see two taxis downstairs."

"I don't care how you get there, but you need to leave now. You understand that following protocol your phone has been disconnected?"

"I understand." She knew now why he hadn't called on her work cell phone, afraid of hackers and giving away her position if they were looking for government employees. She went back inside, "I'll contact you once I reach the German Embassy."

"If you can't make the Embassy then lay low and we'll send someone from Dimona to get you. But under no circumstances should you return to the hotel, understood?"

"Yes, Sir."

He took a second before hanging up not wanting to keep her any longer than necessary but wanted to make sure he covered his bases with her. "Do you have any questions for me, Michelle?"

"No Sir."

"Good, then I'll expect your call once you reach the German Embassy."

"Yes Sir."

She hung up and grabbed her laptop off the charger, stuffing it inside her briefcase. She ran to the top drawer of the dresser and took out her passport, setting it on the bed. She pulled out a pair of jeans and quickly slipped out of the shorts she was wearing, and slid them on. She started for the closet for her shoes when she heard gunshots coming from below her balcony.

* * *

"Steve," Danny said, waving him over. "Take a look at this."

He walked around the broken glass and covered body of the victim. "What do you got?"

Danny pointed at a shell casing on the ground. "Looks like the victim might have a got a shot off."

Steve squatted down, slipping the end of his pen inside the shell of the casing, picking it up. "Kono!" he yelled out.

"What's up boss?" she asked, appearing at his side.

He held it up, "See if any hospitals or Urgent Care centers in the area have reported gun shot victims."

"You got it," she replied, going back over to the car where her laptop was.

Danny held a bag open as Steve dropped the casing inside of it. He felt his phone in his pocket vibrating, pulling it out and seeing Michelle's picture on the front. He was busy and in the middle of a case, but never once refused one of her calls.

"Hey beautiful, what's up?"

Danny smiled, knowing it was Michelle. He zipped the bag shut, about to make a remark about her calling when he saw the look on Steve's face change, knowing the call was not a good one.

"What?!" he said turning away from the group and putting his hand over his other ear to block out the background noise so he could hear her. The stressful tone of her voice and what she was saying was setting off alarms all over his body. "Tell me what's going on."

Michelle stood on her balcony just far enough back that she could see below but not enough where anyone else would see her. She explained the call from Bryan and then the two trucks that were parked outside the hotel and the gunfire that was coming from inside the hotel lobby.

"What about the trucks," Steve asked her. "Do they have any distinct markings on them? Are they Jordanian?"

"No," she said. "They have a symbol but not one that I've seen before. They're speaking Arabic. Her heart was pounding but somehow having him on the other end was calming her. She knew the second she looked over the side and saw the trucks and men climbing out that she was in trouble. Steve was the first and only person she thought of; knowing that he would ask the right questions, but not only that but she wanted him to be her last link if something did happen, knowing he would bust down doors and tear through red tape to get to her.

"Can you get a picture of the trucks and send it to me?"

"Yes." She got down low and crawled to the edge, moving her phone over it and snapped two.

' _Calm down. Calm down,_ ' he told himself over and over as his heart pounded rapidly in his chest, hearing the background noise.

"Ok," Michelle came back on, "I sent them." She heard yelling and scuffling, leaning over the balcony and seeing several soldiers pushing three men out into the street. They held up their badges, speaking French. The gunmen raised their weapons and shot them.

"Oh my God, Steve!" She fell back against the glass door and crawled inside the room, "They're executing people!" She heard another commotion outside her room. "They're outside the hallway!"

"Hide your credentials!" Steve shouted into the phone. "Michelle! Do you hear me?! Hide your badge in the toilet like I told you, do you remember?"

"Yes! Yes!"

She held the phone in her hand and ran across the room to her briefcase yanking off her government badge that had her name, previous military rank and ID number, which could reveal her security clearance if entered into the data base. She ran into the bathroom, hearing Steve yelling at her through the phone, telling her to hide it in the toilet.

She remembered him telling her once that if the situation arose to fold it in half and shove it up inside the toilet bowl. She dropped the phone and knelt down, folding the badge in half and stuck her hand in the toilet, pushing it up as far as she could.

Steve paced back and forth unaware of the team members and fellow officers around him that had stopped what they were doing, transfixed on his conversation.

"Michelle! Michelle!"

"I'm here," she whimpered, hearing the commotion outside her room getting closer. "I'm here. Oh God Steve, they're coming." She took in a deep breath, fighting off the panic to allow her training to kick in, but the commotion outside and the sound of gunfire and people screaming had her fear escalating. Then she heard his voice speaking to her as if he were right next to her.

"Michelle, listen to me. Do you hear me?!"

"Yes," she let out the breath she was holding. "Yes."

"You're a contract employee that's there on business through your company based out of Hawaii. You have no knowledge of the contracts. All you're there to do is get signatures. Do you understand? Tell them nothing! Give them nothing! If they find out you have any link to the government they'll use that against you."

She closed her eyes and nodded.

He could hear her breathing escalating, feeling her fear as it wrapped around him. "It's ok baby. Don't be afraid. I'm always there with you."

"If they don't kill me they'll take me across the border." Her hands trembled trying to hold the phone.

"There isn't any place on this earth that they can take you that I won't find you. You know that right? You know I'm coming for you! Don't ever give up Michelle! I'm coming for you!"

She startled hearing someone pounding on her door with something hard and yelling. "I love you! Tell the girls I love them! I love you, Steve!"

She made the decision to hang up, not wanting him to hear what happened next if they shot her.

"Michelle!" he screamed, "Michelle!" He knew she hung up on purpose as he tried desperately to maneuver the phone with his trembling fingers and call her back. It was his only link to her.

The call went straight to voice mail.

"No! No!" he shouted, trying again, but once more it went to voice mail.

The terror of what she was going through at that second poured over him, knowing there was nothing he could do to stop. He felt his knees buckle as he reached out to brace himself on the car door as he held on going to his knees. Never before experiencing this type of fear and panic, seeing frightful images of her flashing before his eyes, not knowing at that second if she were dead or alive.

He fell forward on his hands, feeling faint, repeating her name over and over. He felt a hand on his back but kept his eyes tightly shut, keeping the silent vigil of his wife's face, praying with all his might to whichever God would listen to him to protect his precious Michelle.

The pounding of his heart and the sound of his lungs filling and then releasing the air over and over in quick sharp breathes drowned out the noises around him as the people at his side tried to comfort whatever the fear was that was engulfing him.

He felt his head begin to swirl knowing he was on the verge of passing out. He had to get control. He had to get control and get to her. She was counting on him.

He reached his hand to the side and felt another body, knowing it was Danny. He gripped onto his shirtsleeve using it to help pull himself up off the ground.

Danny held his arm that had ahold of him as Chin grabbed his other one and they lifted him, steading him as he reached out and braced a hand on the roof of the Camaro.

"I have to go," he mumbled incoherently. "I have to go."

"Steve," Danny said to him, his voice stressing the concern over his friend and the behavior that was just as frightening.

"I have to go," he said more clearly, bracing his other hand on the car. ' _Think_ , _think, think.'_ He took slow breaths getting control of his situation. " _Bryan!"_ his head screamed out, telling him where to start.

He pushed off the car and for the first time took into account the people around him that were still staring. He gave no concern to them as his head kicked into survival mode and he began to think more clearly. He looked at Danny as if he had just appeared from a puff of smoke. "Danny! I have to get to Michelle's office!"

"Ok, ok," he said, fully cooperating.

Chin opened the passenger side that they were standing by as Steve got in and Danny ran around the other side.

Chin put a hand on Steve's shoulder, "Let me know what I need to do to help brother?"

Steve looked up, staring at him for a second with a blank expression as the words, ' _find my wife_ ,' spoke loud and clear in his head, but the words that came out were more centralized. "Locate Michelle's cell phone."

Chin nodded, knowing exactly what was needed.

Steve remembered just then the pictures she had sent on his phone. He looked down as he still held it tightly in his hand, seeing the shaking that he couldn't control. He brought up the pictures and handed it to Chin, not sure he could maneuver quickly enough to send them.

"Send these to your phone. The markings on the side of the trucks, find out what they are, who they belong to." He continued to hold his hand up as if telling him he wanted the phone back when he was done, not liking even for a second that it was out of his hands. What if she tried to call him?

Chin quickly brought up his email and forwarded the pictures to it. He gave Steve back the phone as he held it possessively, almost as if someone might try and take it away.

Chin looked through the window across at Danny. Neither one said a word, but the worry on their faces said it all. They didn't know the details just yet, but both knew she was Jordan and whatever was happening was enough to send Steve into a tailspin.


	3. Chapter 3

Michelle cowered in the corner of the bathroom as she heard the door bust open, needing to give the impression she was scared and weak, not that she wasn't feeling the first of those two. Her first instinct was to fight them off, but her training taught her that there was a time to fight and a time to surrender. This was one of those times to surrender. She knew trying to fight them off was going to be useless and could only get her killed if that wasn't their intention to begin with. She had to keep strong like Steve had said and by all means stay alive, knowing at that very second he was already making his way to her.

She glanced around the bathroom for a weapon to hide on her body but by the time she could reach for the metal nail file they were there.

Two men stood at the door, pointing machine guns at her, screaming at her in Arabic. They wore dark clothing, each with a turban wrapped around their head; the material came around covering half of their faces as well.

Michelle shook her head as if telling them she didn't understand, but she knew they were asking for her passport.

"I don't understand," she said, making her body shiver, looking beyond them as another man ransacked her room. She looked back up at the two in the doorway as one turned and went to help the other while the remaining one came toward her. She assessed his build and thought again of trying to take him out, knowing if she clipped one of his knees back, breaking it with her foot, she could get the gun from him and maybe take out the other two as well.

She shifted her body to get into position when the other man came in behind him, both screaming at her as one reached down and grabbed her arm, yanking her off the floor. She gave up the idea once again, feeling helpless now as they dragged her from the bathroom out into the main room.

He dropped her on the floor as one of them held up her passport; waving it around excitedly repeating the one word they knew she would understand, even with the deep foreign accent.

"American! American!"

One of the men came at her with a black cloth, putting it over her head and cinching the neck closed.

All her training seemed to vanish in that instance as a wave of terror and fear engulfed her.

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Steve ran up the stairs in the building where Michelle worked, Danny at his heels. The elevator was too time consuming as he came through the stairwell door on the fifth floor.

He went past the front desk and straight for Bryan's office.

"Excuse me!" the woman behind it said standing up. "Can I help you?"

"Nope," Danny said over his shoulder.

"You need an appointment," she said chasing after them.

"Bryan List is expecting us," he replied.

Steve burst through the door coming into his office as he looked up from his computer. "Have you had contact with her?" he asked Bryan first and foremost, as he and Danny approached his desk.

The receptionist came in after them. "I'm sorry Sir, they refused to stop. Should I call security?"

Bryan stood up and held his hand up to her, letting her know it was ok. "No, it's ok. Close the door please."

She nodded obediently, glaring at the two of them, but only Danny looked at her, Steve stood staring at Bryan waiting for his answer.

"Sit down Commander," Bryan said, motioning to a chair in front of his desk.

Steve refused the invitation, "Have you heard from Michelle?"

"No," he replied. "I take it you're aware of the hotel being attacked?"

"She called me while it was happening. Tell me what you know."

Bryan sat back down behind his desk, not surprised that she would call him. "I just got word that when the Jordanian police arrived they found three French government workers dead in the street and four guests are missing. One man and three women, Michelle is one of them. The man, his wife and daughter are from London. We're sure they targeted all four of them because of their nationalities. Why they killed the French men we don't know."

He wasn't telling him anything about Michelle that he didn't already know or suspect. "So what have you done so far about her release? Have you contacted the Army base in Dimona, Israel yet? They need to intercept before they get her across the border."

"We've been in contact with London and they are putting together a search and rescue plan with the help from Jordanian troops."

"London?!" Steve said shocked, looking over his shoulder at Danny who looked at him with the same confused expression. "What the fuck is London going to do about Michelle? They're main agenda is to get that family back. If they separate the hostages then London isn't going to give a shit about finding Michelle! I'm asking you what has the US government, particularly YOU have done so far to get her back?"

"Calm down Commander. I've been in touch with the State Department and they are sending over investigators as we speak."

"What the hell are investigators going to do? Investigate that she's been kidnapped and taken across the border, in the meantime two weeks go buy before they file that report!"

"This is a very touchy situation, Michelle knew the risks of going. It was a part of her job."

Steve's face went from worry to furious. "What are you telling me," he said through gritted teeth, "that her being there and the chance that something like this might happen was a risk you were willing to take?"

"That's not what I said. But we can't just fly off the handle," he raised his voice, "and send in a whole Marine division because of one person! You know that would set off alarms all over the place and that would change her status in their eyes from civilian to someone who might actually have information! And I don't have to tell you what that means!"

"So don't send in a battalion," Steve argued. "Send what's needed. You can't be so naïve' sitting behind this desk to know that there are Special OPS forces that are on alert for this exact situation."

"We have chosen to negotiate with them," Bryan finally confessed. "This isn't the first time they have kidnapped a US citizen, they want money."

"What?! It's happened before?! When?!"

Bryan looked at him firmly, realizing now putting her at the hotel was a mistake, but he wasn't going to admit it. "Six months ago."

Steve shook his head, feeling his anger hitting a peak; "Six months ago and you send her over there like a sitting duck."

"Calm down Commander. I told you, Michelle knew of the risks. The Jordanian Government assured us they had the border situation under control."

Steve took a step toward his desk. "Really? Is that why we're building a base on the border, because they have it all under control? Or why my wife is now missing, because they have it all under control?"

"She told you of the contracts?"

"What happened to the other kidnapped victim," Steve asked, glaring at him, "after you negotiated." He emphasized the word negotiated as if it were a vial one.

Bryan swallowed knowing that even if he lied and told him they got the victim back alive that Steve had connections and would eventually find out the truth. "Let us handle this Commander."

"It looks to me that you aren't handling anything except for your dick in your hand."

Bryan rose back up seeing the intensity on Steve's face. "You need to calm down."

"If you tell me to calm down one more time," he threatened, "I'm going to show you what I'm like when I'm not calm." He leaned over his desk "If you think for one second that I'm going to sit back and do nothing while you negotiate for a dead body then you better pull your head out of your ass."

"I don't need you going over there and causing an international incident when efforts are already being pursued!"

"I can see clearly the way things are being pursued. My wife is being held in a foreign country against her will. You're goddamn right I'm going over there and I don't give a shit how it looks to you or anyone else."

"I'm telling you Commander, do not leave this island," Bryan warned him again.

He turned away, walking toward the door, "I'm not very good with people telling me what to do."

"You're going to get her killed!" Bryan yelled out of frustration.

Danny cringed over that statement as Steve stopped just before reaching for the doorknob; he slowly turned around and stared him down. "You're the one that put her there. You're the one that told her not to go to the Embassy. You're the one that is stalling on her rescue. And I'll tell you something else, if anything happens to Michelle," he pointed a finger at him. "I'm coming for you."

He threw the door to the office open.

"Is that a threat, Commander?"

Danny and Steve both spoke simultaneously as they left the room, "Yes!"

Bryan leaned forward slamming his fists down on the desk. "Shit! Shit!" This situation had just gone from bad to worst. His first priority was Michelle but he had to find a way to keep her husband at bay. He wouldn't let her become a victim like the last one, but if McGarrett went over there and started shaking things up, it could not only go bad for her, but bad for the work he'd done over the last year with the Jordanian government. He had to trust in the authorities to get her back safely; even though he knew of Steve's credentials, he still felt the need to put a leash on him.

He sat down at his desk, staring at his phone, contemplating a defensive move; hoping he wasn't making another mistake. He felt he had no choice, making the call.

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Michelle stumbled, falling hard against a wall, unable to put her hands out as they were bound behind her back. The hood remained over her head as she was pushed into a room with a hard wooden floor. She heard cries of other women and a man grunting as the door slammed shut.

She moved down the wall until she found the corner and then made her way down that side until she went all the way around, trying to get a size of how big it was. She estimated about ten by ten. It was bare as far as she could tell, not even a toilet or a mattress, nothing but the hard floor. She was still barefoot, never getting the chance to get her shoes on, but at the moment that was the least of her worries.

"Do you speak English?" she whispered to the others in the room, hearing two women crying. No one answered right away and then she heard the man's voice.

"Yes, we're from London," he panted. "Where are you from?"

"Hawaii," she said, relived that they were American allies, not sure why she felt that relief, knowing they were in the same boat, but she did anyway.

"Why did they take us?" one of the women asked. "What do they want?"

"Money," Michelle responded.

She lowered herself to the floor hearing the fear in the crying of the women. She refused to go there, keeping her mind on not panicking and getting as much information as she could of where they were at and who had them.

"Why are you in Jordan?" Michelle asked them, wondering if they had government jobs too or if they were just targeted randomly like herself.

"I came here for business," the man said, "and like a fool I brought my wife and daughter."

Michelle heard his voice crack as he finished that sentence, knowing then they were a family. She heard him shuffling along the wood floor, perhaps moving closer to them she thought. Her thoughts instantly went to Steve and the girls. She bit the inside of her cheek fighting off the tears of perhaps never seeing them again.

' _Stop!_ ' she scolded herself, ' _don't go there. You can't waste your energy on crying over something that is nonexistent at the moment._ ' She had to keep the belief that she would see them again. She knew she would. Steve was coming for her. She focused on the last phone call with him and could hear the determination in his voice telling her there was no place on earth they could take her that he wouldn't find her. " _I'm coming baby. You know I'm coming for you._ " She held that voice in her head, feeling her strength renew. He would find her. There was no doubt in her mind. She just had to stay strong for herself, for him and for Elie and Ellen.

"My husband," she whispered to them, "he knows I'm in trouble. I spoke to him on the phone just before I was taken. He'll find us."

"Does he know where we are?" the woman asked hopeful.

"Not yet," Michelle responded, "but he will."

"Is he in Jordan too?" the husband asked.

"No, he's in Hawaii."

"I don't understand, are you military does he work for the government?"

She didn't want to give them anything about herself that might come back later to haunt her. People could form tight bonds in situations like this, but then they could also turn on you in a second when faced with fear over a threat of death. "No, he's not," she lied.

"Then how will he find us?" the husband said almost as if she were giving them false hope.

Michelle huffed. "You don't know my husband."

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Steve and Danny came out of the federal building and toward the car at a steady jog.

"Where to now," Danny asked, "the base, the office, home? Where do we start?"

Steve stopped at the car having that same thought since they left Bryan's office. He looked in one direction and then the other as if he didn't know either which way to go. His mind cluttered with the time that was creeping by and what was happening to Michelle at the moment. At least he knew that of all probability she was still alive, getting the fresh news of the kidnappings along the Jordanian border, assured they had taken her across into Iraq. He needed to get to Jordan, hoping he would find cooperation with Bryan but that was a dead end. He had to go at this alone. He couldn't rely on them for help, meaning his government. He knew the roadblocks would be set up everywhere. His only hope was his military background and the allies that he still had on the inside.

An image flashed in his mind of Michelle bound and gagged and then he heard the fear in her voice during their last conversation. He couldn't imagine what she must be going through at that moment, feeling that helplessness begin to rise up in him again. She was out there somewhere, alone, scared, but worse yet it was the things he didn't know, the things he couldn't bring his mind to imagine or he would go crazy.

Danny came around the other side of the car, seeing him begin to fold under the stress of the situation.

"Steve," he said passively yet firm. "Michelle is a trained Navy Seal. She's smart, she's resilient and above anything else she's strong, both physically and mentally. She needs you to focus on this end, trust her to do her part, you do yours."

He looked at him, hearing his words and nodded, knowing he was right. She was waiting for him. "Take me to the office," he said, opening up the passenger side door. "I need to see what Chin found out and I need to make some calls."

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Michelle turned her head to the sound of the door opening. She heard footsteps and then felt the presence of someone standing in front of her. She held still, trying to see an image through the dark hood she still had on, but it was useless, the room was too dark.

"This one." She heard the man say in Arabic. Seconds later she was jerked off the floor, barely able to get her balance, her hands still bound behind her back as she was pulled out the room. She saw light through the hood as they led her down a hallway. She counted four lights on the wall as she passed them, keeping that in mind.

Her heart raced as the words of Steve kept repeating over and over in her head.

" _You're a civilian contractor from Hawaii. Tell them nothing_."

They brought her into a room and sat her down in a chair. She looked around getting the image of two people from the light in the room, maybe three by the sounds coming from behind her.

She felt the string being untied from around her neck and the hood being taken off in one quick motion. She kept her eyes closed knowing the bright light would sting her eyes from having been in the dark for so long.

"Woman," one of the men spoke in English.

Michelle slowly opened her eyes, seeing him standing before her. She blinked and then looked up at him. His eyes were a dark brown and he stared at her, void of emotion. His face was covered with a black beard that matched the color of his disheveled hair. He held up the contracts from her briefcase and spoke to her in Arabic, his voice loud and angry.

She could only make out a couple of the words but knew what he wanted to know. She felt a bit of relief knowing she wouldn't have to tell them anything with the language barrier when the man standing next to him translated. The English was weak but it was clear.

"What are these papers?"

She looked at him as he repeated the sentence again in the same tone as his partner.

"What are these papers?"

She cowered in the chair wanting to seem fragile and frightened, speaking in the same way and feeling the latter of the two no matter how hard she tried not to. "Contracts."

They spoke amongst themselves before the man turned to her again.

"What does these papers mean?" He pointed to the flag that represented the symbol as being US documents and at the top of each page.

"I don't know," Michelle said.

Her reply was met with a hard slap across her cheek, whipping her face to the side. Her eyes stung from the blow as she gasped over the unexpected outburst.

"What do these papers mean?!" he shouted at her.

"I brought them here to have them signed. I didn't write them," she replied cringing, expecting another blow.

"Why are you here?"

"I'm a civilian contractor from Hawaii," she panted.

The next blow knocked her off the chair, landing on her side. She winced from the pain in her arm as they yanked her up and set her back down.

"Why are you here?!" he screamed at her.

"I told you, I'm a civilian…" she barely got the words out as another blow came across her face, blinding her as she fell hard on the floor again.

They left her there this time, but she felt him reach into her hair and grab a handful of it, yanking her head back as he held up the badge to her face that she thought she had hidden in the toilet.

They knew who she was. It would only be a matter of time before they knew everything about her, including her military background.

She looked at the picture of herself on the badge that only showed her face and not the Navy blues she was wearing when the photo was taken. Her expression was defiant and sturdy, recalling Steve's definition of it when she showed it to him for the first time.

" _My wife is a bad-ass_ ," she recalled him saying proudly. She remembered too how proud she felt hearing that from him knowing it wasn't a joke or a cliché, he'd meant it. She stared at the photo of herself as they screamed at her, demanding to know what the Americans were planning in that part of Jordan. She could either give them what they wanted or she could do what she was trained to do. They were terrorists. If she gave them information she knew it wouldn't only get her killed, but it would get others killed as well. They would have time to plan attacks on the base where fellow soldiers would be stationed. She wasn't going to let that happen. She would die first. She was a United States Navy Seal and even if she had retired from it, she would always be one, feeding off that as she felt her anger grow over their arrogance that they could even think for a second that she would betray her country.

She looked up at the man screaming at her, feeding off that anger as she glared at him. "Go fuck yourself."

He stared at her in shock, stunned over her words that told him she wasn't what they thought.

"That's right," Michelle said bitterly. "You heard me correctly. I'm a United States Federal Agent and I don't give a fuck what you want to know about those papers. You might as well burn them because they're going to be useless to you."

He stood up staring at her as he repeated the words in Arabic to the other man.

He too stared down at her, surprised over her defiance as well, but held little care to her loyalty. He wanted to know what those papers meant. He let her know they wouldn't accept her answer by a blow to her gut with his foot.

Michelle curled up from the pain in her stomach as another one came and another. She tightened her muscles, rolling away from it as they continued on her back as he yelled at her in Arabic. She was too caught up in the act of protecting her body than she was at trying to make out the useless vile words that were being thrown at her. The thought of a baby inside her crossed her mind as she tried to protect herself.

The kicking stopped as an argument arose between the two men. She fought off the pain, trying to catch her breath and listen to what they were saying. She could only make out certain words but knew they were arguing over keeping her alive because she was worth more money to them now. Americans would pay to have her back just because of what she knew. She must be important.

She wasn't sure that was true, but let them think it anyway if that would keep her alive. She did know one thing that was true. She was important to Steve, more than she was to her government and he would stop at nothing to get her back. She wouldn't betray him either by giving up and letting them beat her. She'd been in battle before with him and they both came out of it alive and for the better. This time it was her waiting for him to come down that hill, knowing without a doubt that he would. She just had to stay strong until then. She wouldn't let them win.

She opened her eyes feeling the pain subside as she looked up, seeing the other person in the room that she had suspected of being behind her. He leaned against a table with his large, muscular, tattooed arms crossed, staring down at her. He didn't have the traditional beard that the others had, his face and head were void of any hair, nor did he wear the clothes that marked the symbol that resembled the one on the truck. Instead he wore dark pants and a plain white t-shirt. She shuttered at the thought, but he almost looked American. But it was his eyes that stared at her with a cold intensity that sent a shiver through her. She'd never had anyone look at her with so much hatred before.

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Steve leaned over Chin's back as he looked at his laptop. Kono was absent having taken over the investigation at the crime scene.

"Michelle's cell phone last tracked at this spot in Jordan." Chin pointed on a map to an area just northwest of the town she was staying at. I lost the signal here."

Steve used his middle and index finger to form an area on the map. "They must have crossed the border somewhere between here and here. Further north and its mountains, south and its too close to the Saudi border."

"I'm sorry I couldn't find anything on the symbols of the truck, nothing came up."

"It's ok," Steve said putting a hand on his shoulder. "You did good. I have people checking that out."

Danny whistled loudly from his office getting their attention, motioning for Steve to come over.

"Thanks Chin for your help," he said before jogging across the way into Danny's office. "What's up?"

"I need your passport number for this plane ticket." Steve ran over to his office and pulled it out of his top drawer. He went back and recited the numbers to him.

"I think I should go with you," Danny said.

"No," Steve replied firmly. "You can't anyway Danny. You have to have a special visa clearance to get in and out of Jordan. And you can't carry a weapon. I don't need you getting arrested over there."

He sat back in his chair as Steve's boarding pass printed out. "What happens if you get in trouble? What then?"

"I won't."

"You say that now, but what if you…"

"Danny!" he shouted, stopping him before he could go on. "There is no what if, you understand?"

He didn't reply but just nodded his understanding. He knew exactly what he meant and there was no reason for him to point out any 'what ifs' either.

"She's waiting for me," Steve said more calmly. "I told her I was coming for her, and I am. Bedsides, you heard Michelle's boss, they already have an investigation going over there. I can work with them."

Danny nodded again, not only seeing the determination on Steve's face but also hearing it in his voice.

He picked up his boarding pass from the printer. "I leave in two hours?" he said pleased, glancing over at him. "Good job."

"You have a lay over in Tokyo but it was the quickest route."

"Thanks buddy." He heard his phone ring in his pocket, quickly pulling it out, hoping it was Michelle, but was just as pleased to see the name on the screen. The first call he put in was to his buddy Sean who he'd kept in contact over the years. He had been the co-pilot and medic on the missions he'd flown when stationed at the same base where he had originally met Michelle. He put the call on speaker. "Sean, what did you find out?"

"Ok, this is the latest update that I could get. They're an extremist group being led by some Jordanian military fanatics and being funded by Iraqi money, and when I say fanatics I mean they are fanatically against the United States and everything that we stand for, that includes allies such as Israel. Rumor has it that they even have some ex-US military assholes joined in with them. Fuckers!" he mumbled angrily. "They've been hitting the border pretty good lately, terrorizing neighboring cities. The local police are pretty much useless against them. They must have insider spies because the places they hit have US tourists or workers like Michelle. They kidnapped a US tourist six months ago, but collected the ransom money from the family when the government wouldn't negotiate. When they met at the place where they said they left him, he was dead. He was sixty-two years old and the beating that they had given him was too severe, he died of a heart attack. They think he'd been dead for a couple days before the transaction. After that it was a family from New Zealand, and a couple from Italy, both families paid over six hundred thousand for the return. All of them were found in the desert just across the border, alive."

Steve felt a wave of relief over that.

"I'm sending you what I have as far as maps and places they hit, including Michelle's hotel. They have agents there now working to pick up the clues of where they took them."

"Them?" Steve asked. "You mean the people from London?"

"Yes, along with Michelle, they took a family of three. A father, his wife and a thirteen year old daughter."

Steve leaned back against the desk. "Oh God." He looked over at Danny, not even able to comprehend having to go through that with his kids. "Is that it Sean?"

"That's all I got Buddy, but the lines are open so when I hear something, so will you."

"All right." He let out a deep sigh. "Thanks Sean. I can't tell how much this helps me."

"You just say the word brother and I'm on the next the flight. Hawaii is only a few hours from San Diego."

Steve smiled knowing he meant every word of it. "Thanks, but once I get over there and hook up with the people running the investigation I'll have all the help I need."

"Ok, safe travels and keep me informed and I'll do the same. And Steve…"

"What?"

"Michelle is one tough soldier, and I mean that, she really is a tough woman. If anyone can come out of this thing unscathed, it's her."

Danny huffed, "You got that right."

Steve grinned, "I know." He believed that about her too, but it didn't lighten the worry he felt for her. The last couple of hours he'd kept his mind occupied by the trip and getting as much information as he could about her whereabouts, but the second he stood still his mind flooded with her image and his fear of the unknown.

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Steve stared at the front door of the house. It had been a little over two hours since Michelle's call and now he had the horrible task of going inside and telling her Mother what had happened, worse yet, he didn't even have the time to comfort her, he had to pack and get to the airport.

Danny looked at his watch. "We have to get going, Steve."

He glanced over at him and nodded, the uneasiness of what he had to do was all over him. "What am I going to tell her, Danny?"

"Tell her as much as you know, she deserves that. Don't leave her in the dark. Michelle may be your wife, but it's Clair's daughter."

He took in a couple deep calculated breaths before he opened the door and got out.

"Daddy! Uncle Danny!" Ellen shouted as they came in the house. She scooted off the couch and came running toward them; her long dark hair flapping behind her and her bright smile and dark eyes shining over the excitement of seeing him. She was the spitting image of his wife. He bent over and scooped her up, hugging her tightly; fighting back the tears as that overwhelming fear engulfed him of what life would be like without Michelle.

Elie came down the stairs holding the handrail, as she quickly made the decent after hearing the news. "Hi Daddy! Hi Uncle Danny!" she exclaimed, wrapping herself around Steve's waist first and then going to Danny next.

"Hi sweetie." Danny put a hand on her head, stroking her hair.

Clair came toward them from the kitchen. "I thought you were going to call if you were coming home for lunch? That's ok though, I can whip up something quick. Hi, Danny, I hope you…" she began and then stopped seeing both of their expressions. She looked back and forth between them, narrowing her eyes in confusion, not understanding what was happening. "What's wrong?"

Steve set Ellen down on the floor as she looked up at him.

"Are you and Uncle Danny going to have lunch with us?"

Steve swallowed down the dryness in his throat having no idea how he was going to do this.

"Hey," Danny said to the girls, "why don't we go out back."

"Ok!" Ellen said jumping up and down, taking his hand.

"Come on," Elie said with the same enthusiasm. "We can show you our pictures we painted."

He looked at Steve with an encouraging nod before he followed the girls outside.

Clair put a hand over her heart, sensing bad news. "Oh my God, Steve. What happened?"  
He took her hand and held it as he began to explain.

Danny sat at the small picnic table as the girls hovered around him, showing him the pictures they had painted earlier that morning that were drying in the sun. He looked inside the house, past the kitchen and family room seeing Steve and Clair standing in the same spot, watching as he spoke to her, knowing the second the news hit her by the way she recoiled and how Steve quickly put his arms around her still talking, knowing he was trying to encourage her with the same words he had been using for himself over the last two hours.

His heart went out to both of them, feeling the impact of the ordeal hit full on at that second. He looked at the girls as they played innocently around him, not knowing the terrible danger their mother was in, or worse yet he thought, if they would ever see her again. He glanced back inside the house seeing the same image of Steve comforting Clair and speaking to her. They were as close a family as you could get. Steve was lucky in what he had and he didn't have to be reminded of it either, he knew. His life over the past five years since Michelle had stepped off that plane as a Secret Service Agent and back into his life had changed him. He was still Steve in every sense of the word physically and mentally, but emotionally his priorities had changed overnight. His love for his family was more important to him than anything else and he wasn't afraid or ashamed to admit it.

Danny felt that wave of fear wash over him again, not knowing how Steve would ever overcome the nightmare if he had to come home from Jordan without Michelle. He knew he would stand up and be strong for his kids in the way a father should but he also knew that deep down that loss would devastate him. It would break him in so many ways the repair would be impossible.

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Clair took a wad of cash and set it down on the bed next to Steve's duffle bag as he quickly tossed clothes inside of it.

"This is about fifteen hundred. Take it in case you need it."

He stopped and looked at the money. If it were any other circumstance he would have told her no, but these weren't normal circumstances and he had no clue what he was up against. He picked it up and put it in his pocket. "Thanks."

"What if we have to pay a ransom," she asked, "how will that work?"

"I don't know. I'll have to wait and see what happens when I get over there. Hopefully the people that took her have already contacted them about a pay off."

"I can get more money. I can have my accountant do what he can to liquefy my assets. What do you know about this other family?"

"Nothing, except they're from London." He zipped up his bag and grabbed the handle carrying it out of the room as she followed him.

"What should I tell the girls about you leaving?"

He got to the top of the stairs and stopped. "I don't know. I'll tell them something."

He went downstairs finding them and Danny in the kitchen. Danny pointed at his watch, telling Steve they had to go.

He nodded his understanding and knelt down on one knee. "Elie, Ellen, come here."

They scooted off their chairs and both stood in front of him. Elie saw the duffle bag, knowing that was his suitcase he liked to use. She looked at him with worried eyes. "Are you going somewhere, Daddy?"

He smiled uneasily and nodded. "Yes, I'm going to see Mommy. I'll be gone for a few days." He could see the tears welling in her eyes; he and Michelle had never been away from them at the same time before for more than a night. Ellen on the other hand looked more angered than sad.

"Why?" Ellen asked. "How come you're leaving too?"

"I have to, honey. It'll only be for a couple of days." He hoped, but telling them any different at the moment was useless.

"Can we come with you?" Elie asked.

Steve smiled over that, "No, sweetie. But when I get back maybe all of us can go someplace together as a family. How about that?"

Ellen approved his suggestion but Elie couldn't get over him leaving, sensing something odd about it but too little to understand what. Steve put his arm around her as she began to cry, pulling her up against his body, hating that he had to leave them this way, knowing she was scared.

"It's ok sweetie, don't cry. Nana is going to stay with you and Uncle Danny will be over to see you too." He pulled her back so he could see her face, wiping her tears away with his thumb. "Be a good girl ok, and I'll be home in a couple of days. It's ok," he said again, wanting to assure her, knowing how sensitive she was. "I love you."

She hugged him again, "I love you too, Daddy," she sniffed, fighting not to cry.

He looked over her shoulder at Ellen, putting his arm around her. "I love you too," he said to her as she hugged him.

"I love you too, Daddy. We'll be good for Nana."

'Thank you." he kissed each one of them on the cheek before letting go. "I have to go."

He put a hand under each one of their chins and lifted their faces so he could see them. Once again he felt the gravity of the situation as he saw his wife so blatantly clear in the little faces that looked up at him.

He had to bring her home. There was no other option. There was no plan B, only plan A, and that was bring Michelle home. If he couldn't accomplish it he wasn't even sure how he would survive. All three of their lives would be turned upside down in the most devastating way that he couldn't even comprehend how they would overcome it.

He had to bring her home.

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Danny parked in a no parking zone at the airport, flashing his badge to the Security Guard as he and Steve got out. The man lifted his hand in acceptance and walked in the other direction.

"I'm good, Danny," Steve said, reaching in the trunk for his duffle bag.

"I can come in with you."

"No, this is good."

Danny knew it had to be this way, Steve going to Jordan alone, but was worried about him anyway, knowing what he had to do. The silent trip from the house to the airport made him feel even more apprehensive. He knew the exterior toughness Steve could put on, not showing his true feelings, but Danny knew him well enough to know he was scared. "You ok?"

Steve nodded, feeling in his gut the fear and anxiety he was up against, but it was the ache in his heart that kept him moving forward and kept him focused on the task at hand. "I'm worried about the girls."

"Don't be."

Steve looked at him, knowing there was a chance that neither he nor Michelle would make it back. "Danny, if something happens…" he began when he cut him off.

"I said don't worry about the girls. You know I got your back."

He put his hand up as Danny took it, clasping it tightly as they leaned in and hugged. "I'll try and keep in contact and let you know what's happening."

"Ok. Be careful, buddy." They released but Danny kept a hand on his shoulder. "Listen to me. You do what you have to do to get her back. When you get over there, you use whatever methods you necessary, even if that means breaking away from the others and going at it on your own. Don't waste time butting heads."

Steve smiled at him. "You mean just do the opposite of everything you ever tell me?"

Danny grinned, "Yes, exactly!" He stepped back. "And remember, you're not alone in this thing. You have Sean and me and Chin and Kono, we're here for ya, anything you need."

"Thanks Danny."

"Ok then," he said nervously, trying to ward off that concern of Steve going over there alone, but at least he had the comforting knowledge that there would be government agents there to assist, hopefully on her trail already. "Get going and watch your ass."

Steve picked up the bag. "I'll call ya."

Danny stood on the side of the curb watching until he went inside.

He walked around the other side of the car and got in and sat there for a couple of minutes just going over everything that had happened in the past few hours, from the call that came from Michelle to he and Steve's trip to her office to where he sat now. It was crazy the events that had unfolded. He could hardly get his head wrapped around it all, not able to imagine what Steve was going through, but he knew his friend and partner, he'd hold steadfast the way he always did in a crises. He was rock solid.

Steve went up to the counter and presented his boarding pass and checked in his bag. They directed him toward the Customs area but he already knew the way to go, thanking them anyhow.

He held his passport, boarding pass and badge in his hand, needing it for permission to fly with a handgun. He waited in line behind a family of five as the mother and father tried to keep the three kids in line, the youngest a baby. He stared at the child in the car seat at his feet thinking about the baby that he and Michelle were trying for, realizing then that she could very well be pregnant at that moment. It brought on a whole knew set of fears as he looked up at the line that was moving too slow for him. He had his credentials, he could move up ahead of everyone else, but what would be the point. He'd still have to wait for his flight. His patience began to fade and the urgency to get to her began to pull at him, not knowing how he was going to sit on a plane for seventeen hours.

The father of the kids leaned over to his wife just then and kissed her cheek, "I'm sorry about this morning," he said quietly to her.

She looked over at him and smiled. "It's ok. It's been a stressful day."

"I love you, babe," he replied sincerely, to which she looked at him fondly, giving him the same heartfelt response.

Steve looked down and away from them, feeling the separation from his wife hit him ten fold. His eyes misted over as his hands began to tremble not remembering a time when he had missed her more. ' _Please Michelle,_ ' he silently prayed, ' _please be safe. Please God let me find her and let me find her safe and sound.'_

He reached up with thumb and index finger, wiping away the moisture that had gathered in his eyes, seeing that he was next in line. He handed the custom security agent the items in his hand, looking back over at the family one last time as they moved through the line.

"Excuse me, Sir," the security agent said to Steve, "could you please come with me." He motioned to a door that was behind the partition he stood behind. "Just walk around that barrier please," he instructed him.

"What's going on?" Steve asked, watching the man walk to the door holding his ID, boarding pass and badge in his hand.

"Just come with me, Sir," he said again and then spoke something quietly into his mic that was on his vest.

Steve did as he was instructed and went around a small barrier that separated the two areas following him to the door. "Tell me what the hell is going on!" he demanded. "I have a plane to catch."

The man said nothing but held open the door as two other people came in the room from another door on the other side.

Steve went past him in the room speaking to the other two people. "Someone tell me what the hell is going on right now!" He looked behind him as the custom agent set his items on the table and then left the room to go back to his job. Steve turned back to the other two. "What the fuck is going on here? I'm Lieutenant Commander McGarrett. I'm head of Five-0 and I work for the Governor of Hawaii and if I don't get some answers in about two seconds I'm going to get him on the phone and you can explain this bullshit to him!"

"We know who you are Commander, but when you're passport was run through the computer," one of the men explained, "you were denied."

"Denied?" Steve said shaking his head. "There's nothing wrong with my passport."

"It's not your passport, Commander," the other man replied. "You've been placed on the Homeland Security No-fly list."

Steve felt his heart sink to his stomach. "What?! That's impossible!"

"I'm sure it's not Sir. We can't allow you to board your flight today to Tokyo."

He heard the words coming out of his mouth but couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I have to be on that flight," he said almost in a panic. "You don't understand! I have to get on that flight!"

The two men looked at each other uncomfortably and then back at him. "I'm sorry Commander, but we can't allow that."

"Fuck!" he growled reaching in his pocket for his cell phone. "The Governor will allow it."

"I'm afraid not, Sir. This is a matter of National Security and is above the Governor's jurisdiction."

He glared back and forth between them, feeling his heart racing. "Why am I on the No-Fly list?"

"That's a matter of National Security, Sir. We couldn't tell you all we can tell you is that you can not leave the island by airplane."

He felt the room begin to spin, knowing his flight left in less than an hour but he also knew that even if he got this cleared up it could never be done in less than an hour. "Why is this happening," he mumbled and then all at once it dawned on him. Bryan List.

His anger took place of his panic. "That son-of-a-bitch!" He took his phone back out and called Michelle's office.

The receptionist answered.

"Bryan List," he said angrily. "Get him on the phone!"

"I'm sorry Sir, Mr. List is unavailable right now."

Steve spoke through gritted teeth. "You tell him Commander McGarrett is on the phone and if he doesn't take this call I'm going to come down there and pay him a visit!"

"Sir," she said calmly. "I told you, Mr. List is unavailable. He's not in the office."

"Where is he?"

"Mr. List has left the island."

He felt the room begin to close in on him as he pictured Michelle bound and gagged. The frightening ordeal of being denied access to her opened up the floodgate of images he'd avoided dealing with or he might go crazy. They began to filter in as he pictured her being beaten and his worse case scenario, being raped and then murdered.

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Michelle's hood was put back on and she was led back to the room, tossed in violently as she fell hard on the floor, unable to break her fall with her hands still bound behind her back. She heard the door slam shut as she lay there, still able to taste the blood in her mouth from the blows to her face. Her heart was racing as she talked herself down from the experience she thought had gone well, considering. They did however know she wasn't just a civilian anymore, but the only thing she had going for her at the moment was that she was worth money to them. It didn't matter either way she thought grinning, her husband was on the way and the thing that gave her the most comfort was knowing that they had no idea the wrath of destruction he was going to unleash on them when he found her. She had no doubt it would happen, she just didn't know when, finding that mental and physical strength to hang on until then.

"Are you all right?" she heard a woman's voice.

"Yes," Michelle replied.

"Where did they take you? What did they want?"

"I was led to a room down the hall. They wanted know of my reason for being here." She looked over in the direction of the voice. "Are you here under government authority?"

"No," the husband spoke up. "I work for a company that specializes in Internet security. Do you work for the government?"

Michelle didn't see the need to keep it a secret any longer since the others already knew. "Yes."

"Can you get us out of here?" the woman asked hopeful.

"I'm sure they're working on it. They know we've been taken, but it might take some time before they can find us. We just have to stay strong and do what they want," she said. "You need to cooperate with them and we'll all get out of this soon." She didn't say anymore about Steve; he was still her edge she had in her pocket. Her capturers didn't know about him and she wanted to keep it that way.

She heard the woman begin to cry again as well as the daughter and then heard the man shuffling over to them. He spoke quietly giving them words of encouragement. She was glad for that, glad for them, but at the same time, she'd never felt so alone in her entire life. She let her guard down for a just a second and felt the pain in her gut and back from the vicious kicks. She laid her head on the ground and closed her eyes, picturing an event that had taken place just a couple of weeks earlier.

She remembered Ellen and Elie on the back deck playing as she made dinner in the kitchen. She could see and hear their laughter clearly as they tossed a ball back and forth. The front door opened and then closed and she felt the anticipation of Steve's presence as he came around the corner, greeting her with a smile and generous kiss. The girls came running in the house as he scooped up each one, setting them on the counter and listened to them talk about their day.

She recalled them telling him about the botanical garden they had been to and how beautiful it was. She then felt his arm pull her away from the stove as he moved her in front of him, wrapping his arms around her waist, declaring to his two daughters that nothing was more beautiful than his wife. They giggled over the loving affection that he displayed over their Mother, but to Michelle it was more than that, he was giving them that assuring sense of security that every child deserved to know, that their father loved their mother. To her that was more important than the compliment he was bestowing upon her. She'd never been so proud to be married to him than she was at that moment.

Tears filled her eyes as the fear of never seeing them again slowly crept into her thoughts. ' _No_ ,' she thought stubbornly, _'don't think it. Don't go there. He's coming for you. He's coming for you. He's coming for you. He's coming for you.'_

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Danny quickly made his way down the long hallway through the airport, walking hurriedly at first and then breaking into a jog trying to get to his final destination, as the corridor behind the security at customs seemed to go on forever. He finally came to the door where he'd been instructed to go and opened it.

The inside room was small and contained another door that had a window that he could see through that led to a much larger room, knowing that must have been where they were keeping Steve.

He pushed the button on the wall, hearing a buzzing sound, alerting the people on the other side of his arrival.

A man in a security uniform came to the door, looking at him through the window. "Yes," he said through the intercom.

"I'm Detective Williams with Five-0," he replied impatiently, showing his badge up to the window. "Who's in charge here?"

The door buzzed and the man opened it. "I am," he said. "We have your boy inside." He spoke as he walked down a hallway. "He became belligerent, demanding to be allowed to fly and then when we of course denied him that, he became violent, throwing a table across the room. Extra security was called and it took four of my men to finally subdue him." he looked over his shoulder at Danny as he followed him. "One of them has a busted lip and another a decent shiner."

"He has a unique situation that has him under a lot of pressure," Danny defended, following him down another hallway.

"I know," the man said, "He explained that to my men, but he was not very understanding when they told him their hands were tied on not allowing him to fly. I understand the frustration he has and I sympathize with him, that's why I called you and not the police."

They came to the end of the hall and he stopped a couple feet ahead of Danny and pointed into a small cell. "Here he is."

He looked inside seeing Steve sitting on a cot with his hands cuffed behind his back. His shirt was torn and he could see red marks on his neck and a couple of scratches on his face, but when he looked up at him it was the most profound, wounded expression Danny had ever seen before. He knew it wasn't because of where Steve was at; he knew it was because he was sitting there and not on a plane.

"Jesus," Danny whispered, feeling Steve's misery all the way down to the pit of his stomach. "Get those cuffs off of him," he demanded angrily.

The guard pulled a set of keys out of his pocket. "We felt he was a danger to himself, so…"

"I said get em' off!" he shouted. "What the fuck is the matter with you?! He's a police officer and a decorated Navy Seal and you got him locked up in here like he's a fucking criminal! Get em off!"

He nervously shuffled the keys and unlocked the cell door going in ahead of Danny, thinking maybe he might have gone too far in keeping the cuffs on him. He reached behind Steve who offered neither resistance nor help, but just sat there staring at the ground, feeling powerless over Michelle's dilemma once again.

"Thank you," Danny said sarcastically as he walked past him into the cell. "Can you give us some privacy?"

"Sure," he responded not holding the outburst against him, knowing it was a frustrating situation all around. He left the cell door open and went down and out through another door.

Danny heard it close and sat down on the cot next to him.

Neither one said a word at first, but Danny could feel the strain in the air, and then he heard it loud and clear as Steve tried to speak.

"Danny…"

He only got that far when Michelle's ordeal finally came crashing down on him.

The fear, the frustration and the unknown whereabouts of his wife as well as the obstacles that were preventing him from getting to her were just too difficult to suppress any longer. It didn't show in anger this time but as a deep, painful release in tears as he bent his head, trying to conceal the evidence but the physical reaction was impossible to hide.

Danny put a hand on his shoulder, not giving him a cliché of words that there were standard for this setting. There was no point. The man he considered to be 'rock solid' was crumbling right before his eyes and no words at the moment were going to ease his pain.

He found comfort knowing Danny was sitting next to him. It gave him the permission to feel what needed to be felt, knowing the friendship between them wouldn't be viewed any differently because of it, not feeling that security if it were anyone else. He feared for his wife and knew Danny got that.

It didn't last long as he regained control, wiping his hands over his face.

Danny squeezed his shoulder, knowing it was what he needed. They came from two different backgrounds, where his family allowed that sort of thing; Steve came from one that pretended that it didn't exist. That was no good in Danny's opinion. All it did was build up until you couldn't take it anymore, and then exploded. Like it did now.

He stood up, pulling on Steve's arm. "Let's go."

He looked up at him confused as if there was no place to go. "Where?"

"Home. I'm taking you home."

"I can't Danny," he felt another wave of sorrow creeping up on him. "I can't go home without her."

"Yes you can. You need to get your head together. You need to clean up and get some sleep."

"I can't sleep," he argued. "What am I going to do?"

"What are you going to do?" he blasted him, bending over so he was face to face with him. "You're all fucked up in the head right now! You need to get your shit together and be able to think. It's not going to happen here or at work, or at my house. You need to be home around your family. Trust me. I know you, it's where you need to be, so get up!"

Steve looked at him not having the strength to argue with him, besides; he did trust him, that's the only reason he followed him.

It was by far the worst day of his life, knowing it was going to be followed by the worst night. Every second that ticked by he felt the betrayal toward Michelle deepen. She thought he was coming for her, but he'd yet to even accomplish getting off the island.

He was failing her, that thought alone was tearing him apart.


	4. Chapter 4

Michelle stared at the photo of Steve that was held up in front of her on her cell phone. He was smiling as he stood in front of their new house. Just seeing the photo of him brought out so many different emotions it was hard to hold on to any one of them as they poured over her.

The man that had spoken English to her before moved the picture closer to her face, repeating his question. "You miss your husband, yes?"

Michelle looked up at him, "Yes."

"Tell us what we want to know and you can go see him."

"I told you, I don't know anything."

The blow came as before, quick and sharp, rocking the chair she sat in but not tipping it over.

"You think we are fools!" he screamed at her. "You tells us what we want to know or we will kill you!"

She looked up at him. "If you kill me then you not only learn nothing, but you will get nothing for ransom either. They won't give you a dime unless they know I'm alive." She watched the anger build on his face over that, preparing for another blow that came from the back of his hand this time across her other cheek and then another that pelted her eye, that one tipped her over in the chair as she landed hard on the cement floor.

She was picked up and set back on the chair. She caught her breath and looked up as the bald man from before stood in front of her this time. The other man started to come at her when he put up his overly muscular arm and stopped him, speaking to him in Arabic. Michelle caught only a couple of words, but knew he wanted a chance at her.

He turned to the man and led him out of the room, closing the door behind him as he did.

Michelle watched him, feeling her adrenalin kick in as her fear escalated over what he was going to do to her. ' _Whatever it is,_ ' she thought stubbornly, ' _he won't break me; Steve's coming for me. If you tell them what they want to know then you are as good as dead_.'

He towered over her, crossing his arms as he looked down at her. She studied his numerous tattoos that ran up and down and his arms and to the end of his fingers, memorizing them incase she needed too. "I know who you are," he said in perfect English. "I know who your husband is too Mrs. Steven McGarrett."

Michelle looked up at him shocked that he knew Steve.

"That's right," he smiled cunningly. "I know about him and I know all about you now." he motioned with his head to the door. "They think if they sit here and beat on you that it will get them what they want. They don't know American military as well as they think. They don't know the stubbornness that can result from being a Navy Seal. You won't tell them anything, will you?"

She didn't respond to his answer but just looked away from his knowing smile that looked anything but friendly.

"I understand. I once served in your military, that is of course until I saw the treachery they were capable of."

"And what you are doing here," she said to him sarcastically, "this is so much more rewarding."

He laughed, "Yes! They pay me well. When I'm all done here I might even go back to the states and buy a nice house and live out the American dream."

"You're a trader," she said glaring at him, seeing him as nothing more than a cockroach standing in front of her. "You're the worst kind of man. You have no respect for anything, not even yourself."

He grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her head back, leaning over her as he spoke. "Like your husband? He's the worst kind of man, arrogant, self-righteous. I have no respect for a country that allows that type of man and others like him to lead."

"You don't know anything about my husband," Michelle fought back, trying to yank her head free, "and you know nothing about serving a country."

"I know about both," he wound his hand up further into her hair, "and I know the methods they use to break a person. They used it on me, my CO did, his CO, and I'm sure your husband did too. The same technique I will use on you," he smiled at her, "and you will break too and then you will tell me everything I want to know."

Michelle looked up at him, her breathing escalating over her anger and frustration, but more than anything else the anxiety of what he had in store for her. "My husband never tortured anyone in his life," she panted, "especially a woman."

"Oh, my sweet, brave soldier," he laughed sinisterly. "You got it wrong. Humility was my torture." He pulled her off the chair by her hair, dragging her across the room.

She gasped at the sudden pain and fought the best she could with her hands bound, but it was useless. He was a foot taller than she and had to have outweighed her by at least fifty pounds, but it was his strength that she had no ability to defend herself against.

He picked her up from behind and set her on the table in front of him. She laid back and used her legs to kick him, getting a good shot with her heel to neck, but it only fazed him and made him more aggressive as he hit her hard across the face.

She fell back on the table, feeling herself floating in and out of consciousness as her cheek and head throbbed from the pain. She felt tugging on her body when she realized then he was pulling on her jeans. Her adrenaline went off the charts, knowing what he was going to do as she fought him, growling and kicking with everything she had.

She felt yet another blow to her face knocking her back once again. Her fear took over as she screamed out, knowing she was going to lose this fight.

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"You're not telling me anything!" Steve yelled into the phone. "I want some fucking answers!"

Clair looked over seeing the girls standing on the stairs staring at their father whom they'd never heard so angry before. The bad words coming from his mouth was shocking to them both. His appearance with the torn shirt and bruises on his face were even more shocking. Elie started to cry while Ellen stood transfixed.

Steve slammed the phone down after being hung up on and swung his arm out of anger and frustration knocking over a lamp on the table. "Fucking pricks! Goddamnit!"

"Steve!" Clair shouted, feeling the same fear as the girls over his outburst, which only told her they were no closer to getting Michelle back than they were before the call he had made to government authorities. They were telling them nothing that they didn't already know.

"They won't tell me a fucking thing!" he said to her. "I'm going to tear Bryan List's fucking head off!" he ranted.

"Steve!" she said grabbing his arm. "You're scaring the girls," she said frantically, pointing at them.

He looked over seeing them on the stairs, both of them crying now. His anger quickly dissipated over their reaction of his outburst. It wasn't a display as a father that he ever wanted them to see. He'd made them cry because of his tantrum. They couldn't understand his frustration and worse yet he couldn't explain it to them. He couldn't imagine what he must look like in their eyes at that moment.

He went up to them and knelt down on the step below where they stood, looking up at them pitifully. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely for scaring them.

"Why are you so mad?" Ellen asked, wiping her eyes.

"What happened to your face," Ellie gasped between breathes as she cried, more concerned over his appearance.

"I was just angry at someone on the phone. I shouldn't have yelled like that or used those bad words, I'm sorry." He looked over at Elie, "I was in an accident chasing a bad person," he lied, having come home with scrapes before from work.

Ellen took his word for it, but Elie didn't seem to be calmed over his words. She was always so insightful; even at four years old he knew he couldn't pull the wool over her eyes. She knew her father too well.

Her tears fell harder as she stepped down and put her arms around him, scared to death but not knowing why. All she did know was that their perfect little home seemed to be in turmoil since their mother's departure. His saying goodbye to them but only to be back a little while later with Uncle Danny, his disheveled appearance, the phone call, and not in the frame of mind that she knew of the man she called Daddy.

"It's ok, honey," he tried to console her and looked up as Ellen began to cry again as well, only because her sister was and fearing something in the air that she didn't understand either.

He scooped them both up, putting the hunt aside at the moment to tend to his kids. It was difficult making his way up the stairs and turning his back on the search for his wife, but he knew it was the right thing to do, and more than that he knew its what Michelle would have wanted him to do.

Clair stood at the bottom of the stairs watching them go up. She needed him to stay strong; he was her daughter's only hope. She knew this would be a reality check that he needed in order to focus.

He took them into his room, knowing that would be a treat for them and set them down on the bed. They crawled under the covers and he laid down next to them, putting an arm across both of their bodies. "There's nothing to be afraid of. Would I ever let anything happen to my precious girls?"

"Mommy too, Daddy," Elie said unknowingly of the situation, but always on the lookout for that other person's feelings. "Don't forget Mommy."

He leaned over and kissed her cheek, looking her straight in the eye when he spoke. "I could never forget about Mom. She's my best friend in the whole world. I love her more than Ariel loves Prince Eric. Way more," he smiled.

They both giggled over his analogy, making them feel secure again.

"Did I ever tell you the time when Mommy saved my life just like Ariel saved Prince Eric?"

Both of their eyes shot open over that possibility.

"She did?" Ellen asked amazed.

Steve nodded, "Yep. When we were both in the Navy together, you remember me telling you about that right?"

They both nodded, "When you were the boss of Mommy," Elie said. They both knew that story as well as the birthing one.

"But now Mommy's the boss of you," they both giggled, reciting his words.

"That's right," he chuckled. "I was stuck in the forest behind this huge rock and the bad people were coming for me. I was scared."

"You were?" Ellen asked, not thinking that of him ever while Elie's eyes became sympathetic.

"It was dark, I was all by myself and they were coming to get me."

"What did you do?" Ellen asked, enthralled now with his story.

"I didn't have to do anything. I looked around the big rock and saw them coming and then I looked behind me up the hill and here came Mommy, running down at full speed. She fired her gun at them and they all ran away down the hill. They were so scared of her they ran super fast, tripping and falling on the way down."

Both girls laughed over the image of it, thinking of it as a cartoon.

"She saved you," Elie said proudly.

"Yes she did. I fell in love with her right on the spot."

"And then you got married," Ellen said.

"And then we got married and had two of the most beautiful little twin girls in the whole world."

Ellen smiled as Elie snuggled closer against him, her fear gone. "Tell us about the day we were born, Daddy."

"Yes," Ellen agreed, moving closer to her sister to get closer to him. "Tell us that story again."

He tucked his hand around Ellen pulling them both in as he began the ritual of their favorite story.

Before long all three were sound asleep.

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Clair came in Steve's bedroom just after one in the morning and gently shook him. "Steve, wake up. There's someone here."

He sat up careful not to wake the girls and scolded himself for falling asleep so hastily. He looked up at her and wiped his hand over his face. "Who," he asked. "Who's here?"

"Sean?" she replied. Not knowing him but the military clothes told her he was there to help.

"Sean?" he asked bewildered, sliding down to the bottom of the bed, still fully dressed in the tattered clothes Danny had brought him home from the airport in. He jumped up and went for the door, hurrying down the stairs, seeing him standing in the foyer. "Sean!"

Sean turned and was taken back by the appearance of his friend he'd known for fifteen years; at the moment he looked nothing like him. He could see the strain all over him, reminding him of a time almost ten years before when he was distraught over the same woman. "Hey Buddy," he said as they embraced.

Steve didn't know he was coming but couldn't help but feel the relief of having him there. "What are you doing here? Do you know anything new? Did you bring me some news of Michelle? They put me on the no-fly list, Sean!" he said frantically, feeling the panic return over his helplessness.

"I know. I know everything," Sean replied, leading him by the arm down the hall toward where he presumed was the main heart of the house as Clair followed behind them, listening intently to their conversation.

"Danny called me and told me everything," Sean explained.

"What are we going to do?" Steve asked, looking to him for guidance in the situation that had him frantic and distraught more than any time in his life. He found it hard to think straight, never before, even in battle, had he been so close to an emotional and mental breakdown than he'd been the last twelve hours.

"I do have news," Sean said, looking him dead on, seeing the tension on him. "I've got a location on where she might be. Satellite photos have a compound forty kilometers east of the border of Jordan in Iraq, that could be an annex of their main base."

Steve heard his words but the frustration of not being able to get to her was making it difficult every second that ticked by. "What do I do with that information, Sean?' he asked painfully. "I can't leave the island."

Sean smiled at him, "It's a good thing you were a respectable CO."

"What?" Steve asked bewildered, wondering why he was smiling at a time like this.

"Remember Lieutenant Kruska?"

Steve nodded, remembering all his trainees over the years, especially him since Kruska had been in the same class as Michelle.

"He works for Homeland Security now in an executive position. Whoever put you on that list did so pending an investigation, Kruska overrode their authority claiming not enough evidence and took you off. So get your shit together because you and I are going to Jordan."

A smile slowly emerged on Steve's face as the original plan resurfaced, only better this time around, because now he had a partner.

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Michelle rolled off the table, landing hard on the cement floor. She used her legs to push herself away from him as he pulled his pants up and tucked his shirt neatly back inside them before fastening them.

"How was that?" he said chuckling. "Ready to talk yet?"

Her whole body ached from the violent act that was worse than she could have ever possibly imagined. She kept her eyes closed the whole time unable to look at the monster while he enjoyed violating her. She refused to make a sound either, not wanting to give him the satisfaction that he was hurting her. She left her body during the ordeal, finding a place in her head where she felt comfort and security; in her husband's arms, but it would only last a brief moment before she would be thrown back into reality and the brutal act that seemed to have no end.

She felt his presence leaning over her as she opened her eyes, staring at his shoes. She felt a tug on her hands as he released the tie that bound them together. She held still unable to move them just yet from the stiffness as well as the bruises and scraps on her arms from them rubbing against the table.

He picked up her underwear and dropped them at her head. "Put em' on. I'd leave you naked but the others here have a funny way about women and clothes."

She slowly sat up, pulling her shirt down over her waist as she reached for the panties, seeing her bloodied hands and arms that were worse than she thought. Her fear and adrenaline were in full force and she knew she'd feel the pain from it later. She winced as she pulled her legs up and reached down, slipping them on, seeing his hand prints still on her thighs and bruises forming around them. She closed her eyes, fighting off the urge to vomit, knowing he'd appreciate it.

"Get up," he said harshly, grabbing her arm and yanking her off the floor.

She let out a small cry, but quickly gritted her teeth, holding in the others that were screaming to get out.

"You're a tough one aren't you?" he said softly, stroking his hand over her hair. "I like that. It'll be fun breaking you."

She bit her tongue wanting nothing more than to lash out and tell him to fuck off and die, which was her plans for him, but instead she said nothing, taught by her husband when he was her CO that it was better to say nothing than to say something that could get you killed or even retaliated against. All that did was weaken the body.

She felt a shiver run over her, feeling cold as she began to come down from the ordeal. Her hands and arms began to hurt in the worst way, but nothing was like the pain deep down inside her soul over the humiliation of what he had put her through. Her hair concealed her face as he continued to torment her.

"Tell me Michelle," he whispered, breathing heavily as he thread his fingers through her hair, "will you think about me when you are with your husband? I bet you will."

She closed her eyes tightly feel repulsed by his touching of her hair in the same way that Steve did.

He took her by the arm and led her out of the room and down the hallway. "I'm going to let you sit and think about our time together. Don't worry though, I'll be back."

He pulled her arms behind her back and tied her hands once again, shoving her inside the room as she fell forward landing on her shoulder.

"You have two hours to decide if you want to talk or play some more." He slammed the door as he left.

She heard the others asking if she were ok, their heads still covered with the blindfold. She ignored their questions rolling away and facing the wall. Her body trembled as she fought back the tears that filled her eyes, wanting to be strong but losing her courage. She could feel his hands on her and the violent movement inside of her that racked her body with pain now. She couldn't hold back the sickness any longer and felt it rising to her throat. She managed to get on her knees and bent over as her stomach lurched, bringing up the small remains of her last meal.

She thought of home where her mother and girls were, wanting to be there with them, and trying not to think about the possibility of a baby inside of her, hoping and praying now that she wasn't pregnant, fearing a miscarriage over her ordeal. Time was getting critical and she prayed that Steve or someone, anyone, would get there soon, feeling that first hint of doubt that maybe no one was coming, and that maybe they had no idea where they were at.

The torture by that man could go on for days before he would eventually move on to something more physically painful or just kill her. He had no soul nor did he have any feeling towards her whatsoever, there would be no mercy from him. She thought about the contracts and what she knew, considering her options if she talked.

' _Maybe_ ,' she thought, ' _maybe he'd let us go if I talked_.'

She barely had time to consider the thought before she recanted it. ' _No! Stop it!'_ she blasted herself for giving up so easily. _'Don't let him beat you! You're better than that fucking piece of shit. He can't break you, but you are going to break his fucking neck before this is over!"_ She let her anger take over, feeling the pain and using it as a crutch to pull herself up.

She sat up on her knees and took in a deep breath feeling a renewed strength. She'd make it through this whether Steve made it or not. She wouldn't lose herself because of this man. She wouldn't do it. She had to trust in herself and know that she was stronger than he was.

She scooted away from the mess on the floor and sat back against the wall.

"Are you ok?" the woman asked her again.

"I'm fine," Michelle replied defiantly, staring at the door as her adrenaline skyrocketed, making a plan for her next encounter with him.

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Clair handed Steve a piece of paper as they stood outside the house. "This is an account in a Swedish bank that has been set up under your name. I had them liquidate everything they could. There's almost eight million dollars in there. I don't know what you're going to need once you get there as far as ransom or guns or whatever, but you have the money to do what is you need to do to bring my daughter home." Her eyes filled with tears, "please bring my daughter home."

Steve put his arms around her and hugged her once again hoping unlike the last time he said goodbye to her that the next time he came home, he'd have Michelle with him. "I will Clair, I promise. I won't come back without her."

She nodded feeling comfort in those words, believing them wholeheartedly.

"Kiss the girls for me," he said, glad now that he had had that time with them earlier.

He got in the rented car of Sean's and put his hand up to her as they drove off. He pulled out his cell phone to call Danny but only got his voice mail, guessing he was asleep. He left a message of his plans and that he'd call him when he landed. He hoped he got the message before they took off, wanting to touch base with him, but more than that wishing he were sitting with he and Sean, but knowing that was impossible. He wouldn't have the necessary Visa on his Passport to enter Jordan. That took time to accomplish. He was glad though to have Sean with him, but having Danny, Chin and Kono would have sealed the deal as far as he was concerned. It didn't matter now, he thought, it was all him. He couldn't afford to think about 'what if.'

He thought about Michelle's confession that last night they were together. She professed her love for him so deeply that she would die for him. He felt that bond with her now that she spoke of because he was in that same position, and if it came down to it, he would give his life for her. There would be no hesitation, even a swap and his freedom for hers would be a victory in his eyes. It didn't matter if he didn't have the manpower to back him up, he had the will to get his wife back and that to him was powerful enough.

They arrived at the airport quickly, considering the late night there was no traffic. Once through customs Steve let out a breath of relief, knowing Kruska had done as promised. He made a mental note to get in touch with him when this was all over.

He and Sean walked toward their gate when he heard his name being called.

"Commander McGarrett!" the man yelled out.

Steve and Sean both turned and saw a man in brown fatigues carrying a backpack over his shoulder running toward them.

"Who is that?" Sean asked.

"I don't know," Steve replied, getting an uneasy feeling, but as the man came closer he recognized him. "Holy shit," he mumbled. "Jordan?" he said to him as the man stopped a few feet from him, standing perfectly erect and saluting.

"Commander McGarrett," he said again, bringing his hand down and smiling at his former CO. "I wasn't sure you would remember me, Sir."

"Of course I remember you," he said reaching his hand out to him, shocked to be running into him at the Honolulu airport at two o'clock in the morning. "How the hell are you, Jordan?"

"I'm good, Sir," he replied shaking his hand firmly. "I'm a CO myself now Sir, with Special Ops."

"Congratulations," Steve said, still bewildered over seeing him. "You were one of my last recruits. I remember you were an excellent shot and had good leadership qualities."

"Thank you, Sir," Jordan chuckled over that, recalling his off the chart ego when he first joined Steve's unit. He taught him more about respect and teamwork than any CO he'd ever been with. "I learned a lot from you, Sir. I don't believe I'd be where I am today if it weren't for your leadership."

Steve smiled, "I don't know about that, but I think the Navy's lucky to have you." Steve motioned to Sean. "Do you remember Lieutenant Sean Hays? He was a helicopter pilot and a medic in our unit."

Jordan focused on Sean next, "Yes Sir I do. You saved a friend of mines life." He stuck his hand out to him. "Good to see you again."

"You too," Sean replied, trying desperately to recall the man.

"What are you doing in Honolulu?" Steve asked him. "Are you stationed at Pearl?"

"No. Sir," Jordan replied with a grin. "I'm here for you."

Steve glanced at Sean, both of their expressions equally confused.

He looked back at Jordan with more of an accusing stare, not sure what that statement meant. "What do you mean you're here for me?"

"I've remained close Sir to the people that were in our unit; Kruska being one of them. He informed me of the trouble with Lieutenant Baker. I'm here to offer my services."

Steve stared at him, shocked over what he was hearing.

"To put it in clear terms, Sir," Jordan explained. "You and Lieutenant Baker saved our asses that night in that village in Afghanistan. We never would have made it out if it weren't for you two." He grinned at the stunned expression. "I'm here to help anyway I can."

"I don't know what to say," Steve said shocked, but pleased over the offer.

"There's nothing to say, Sir," Jordan replied. "I'm coming with you. If that's ok with you, Sir?"

Steve looked over at Sean who was telling him expression wise to accept his offer, quickly.

He put his hand out to him. "Yes," he replied elated, "Yes! Hell yes!"

Jordan accepted the second handshake proudly. "Thank you, Sir."

"No, Jordan. Thank you."

"It's my pleasure, Sir."

"Do you know what's going on?"

"Yes, Sir. I've been briefed by Kruska and I figured I can get the rest of the update on the flight with you."

"You're on our flight?" Sean asked him.

"Yes. As you know Kruska is now working for Homeland Security. He made the arrangements for me. I jumped on the first cargo flight here from my base in Texas."

"Ok," Steve smiled, "that works for me, let's go."

"Thank you for this opportunity, Sir," Jordan said, walking with them to the gate.

"You know Jordan," Steve said. "We're the same rank now, you don't have to call me Sir."

Jordan let out a small chuckle. "You don't understand, Sir. It's not a formality, it's a frame of mind."

"Ok," Steve replied proudly, knowing that frame of mind, because if he ever ran into his Drill Sergeant from boot camp, regardless of the rank, he'd still be Sir to him as well.

They made it to the gate for the red-eye to Tokyo before catching the connecting flight to Jordan.

Sean and Steve sat together in the twelfth row while Jordan had a seat five rows back.

Steve took the isle seat and set his bag with his laptop under the seat in front of him as they closed the doors, getting ready for take off. He laid his head back on the seat and closed his eyes, picturing Michelle as she lay next to him in bed. It was a place he wanted to see her again, soon. It was the vision and the focus he kept in his mind.

He felt the plane jerk as it began to pull away from the gate, anticipating the job he had in front of him. ' _Please God_ ,' he thought for the hundredth time that day, ' _please keep my wife safe. Please give me the strength and the power to find her. Please help me. Please._ '

His eyes shot open as the plane stopped. He looked out the window across from Sean and saw that it was moving forward again, back toward the gate. The two men exchanged a look that could only be read as alarmed.

"Shit, shit!" Steve whispered, feeling his heart rate soar. "Oh, God please don't," he mumbled, fearing the worst.

He and Sean both watched as the two flight attendants opened the door back up and began to speak to someone outside.

Steve could hardly catch his breath, clenching his fists, feeling a huge commotion if they tried to take him off this plane. He'd hold it hostage if he had to. He shifted in his seat, the anxiety climaxing as the flight attendant moved out of the way, allowing the person to board.

All his fear and concerns were gone in an instant, believing one of his prayers were being answered as he saw Danny cross the threshold, followed by Chin and then Kono.

Danny spoke to the pilot, shaking his hand as Kono made her way down the isle to her seat.

He stared up at her as she came toward him.

"Hey Boss," she smiled down at him, pleased over the bewildered expression, not giving an explanation as she continued on.

Chin came up behind her, patting his shoulder as he went by, "Hey brother." He too saw bewilderment but he also saw a world of gratitude in his eyes that left him speechless.

Danny came up next stopping in the isle. "What?" he said over the clever smile on Steve's face. "After all the years of knowing you, you don't think I've made some connections in the military and government." He took a step forward and then leaned back. "I know you're dying to know who my inside guy is. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." He put a hand on his partners shoulder, hearing a laugh but also seeing the overwhelming appreciation that the other two had.

Sean saw it too as he leaned over to him. "Looks like we got ourselves a kick ass team."

"Damn straight." He felt the plane jolt again as it moved away from the gate. ' _I'm coming baby_ ," he thought determinedly, feeling a wave of confidence that had eluded him ten minutes earlier. ' _I'm coming Michelle, just hold_ _tight_.'

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Michelle woke up startled as a bucket of ice-cold water hit her.

He grabbed her by the arm and yanked her off the floor before she had a chance to react.

"Let's go chat Michelle," he said pulling her along, "now that you're all cleaned up for our second date."

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 _ **Author note: If you are reading this, then thanks for reading my latest chapter! I'm so sorry to leave you hanging like this, but unfortunately this is going to be my last post for a couple of weeks. With the holidays and family in town, I have had no time to sit and write, or edit what I have written. (You should know it's killing me too.)** **My apologies, but I promise to catch up, hopefully on New Years Day.**_

 _ **Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone! And once again…thanks for reading!**_


	5. Chapter 5

The plane landed in Amman, Jordan approximately fifteen hours after they had left Hawaii. All six of them felt charged even after the long flight, most being able to take advantage of the time and sleep. Steve was the only one of the six who hadn't. He spent the time going over maps on his laptop and consulting with Jordan and Sean over a strategy to move in and surround the compound where they believed Michelle was being held.

They picked up two SUV's at the airport and began the four-hour drive from Amman to the hotel where Michelle had been taken from. From there they would take the same path that Steve hoped and prayed led to the place Sean had told him about just across the border in Iraq.

Chin drove the first van with Steve and Danny, while Sean, Jordan and Kono rode in the other.

Danny turned around in the front seat, looking back at Steve as he stared out the window at the desert.

"You doing all right?"

Steve looked over at him and nodded, but the worrisome expression was clear to Danny that he wouldn't be all right until Michelle was back with him.

"You know what I was just thinking about?" Danny said to him.

"What?" Steve replied grimly.

Danny smiled, "Remember when we took Michelle out surfing for the first time, right after you guys got married?"

Chin let out a laugh as he drove.

Danny glanced over at him, "Do you remember that?" he said laughing.

"Do I remember," Chin busted up, "I've never seen anyone in my life scream so loud over catching a two foot wave. You would have thought she was riding pipeline."

Steve laughed with them over the memory.

Danny reached over grabbing Chin's arm as he cracked up, "Or how about the time she tried to drink us under the table?'

They all three laughed over the memory.

"God," Steve laughed, "she was hung over for two days. All she ate was crackers," he began to laugh even harder. "I've never in my life seen anyone throw up that much."

"How about when she got you in the head lock," Chin said to Danny.

"She made me recite ' _Mary had a Little Lamb'_ to perfection before she would let me up."

"Squeezing your neck making you gasp so you had to keep starting over."

All three of them laughed, remembering the display in the backyard of Steve's house after Danny had told her she couldn't keep him in a headlock.

Danny looked back at Steve, "I should have known better. She was a fricking Navy Seal. I learned my lesson."

Chin looked at him through the rearview mirror. "Your wife's a badass."

His smile widened over that statement, "Yes she is," he replied proudly. "She's more stubborn than I am and she's certainty more resilient. I saw her give birth to twins with no epidural." He shook his head recalling how labor had come on too quickly after her water had broke. It was too late for an epidural. "She's amazing," he said proudly, recalling holding her hand as she gave birth naturally, never once complaining about the pain.

"She's going to make it through all this," Danny said confidently, "you know that right?"

Steve nodded. "There's too much left for us to do," he said. "We have too many plans for it to end now. She won't let that happen." He smiled at the two of them. "I told you, she's more stubborn than me."

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Michelle felt the tugging on her head as he grabbed another handful of her hair and cut through it with the sharp blade of his knife.

He smiled as he held it in front of her face and let it fall from his grasp as it floated to the floor, lying amongst the pile that was growing.

Her body ached and shivered as she knelt on the cement floor completely naked with her hands bound behind her back as he cut off all her hair.

"I think I'll gather it all up and send it to your husband as a gift," he laughed. "Do you think he'd like that?"

Michelle stared straight ahead, not making a sound or holding any kind of expression on her face except for stone cold.

He grabbed the last bit and pulled her head back, forcing her to look up at him as he bent over, close to her face. "Now when he looks at you, he'll think of me too." He stared at her as he sliced through it. "I saw the pictures on your phone of your daughters." He felt her body tighten up. "They're beautiful. One day I think perhaps I'll call upon them for a visit. See if they feel as pleasurable to me as you do."

She was surviving the best she could under the circumstances, believing she could take anything he would throw at her without showing defiance, but he'd just crossed the line. She felt the last bit of her hair being cut away and flung her head forward, hitting her forehead against the bridge of his nose, hearing it pop.

He fell backwards covering it with his hand as blood began to gush between his fingers.

"Fuck!" he screamed out as she jumped from her knees to her feet, getting her balance with her hands still bound and kicked him between the legs. He doubled over dropping the knife as he grabbed himself, coughing as he tried to catch his breath over the blow.

Michelle kicked the knife out of the way as it skidded across the floor. She kicked him in the throat watching his head fly backward hoping she'd broken his neck, but all she'd done was fazed him. She went after him again trying to step on his neck when he grabbed her foot, twisting it as she fell hard to the floor. He was on her before she had a chance to get her legs up and push him off.

"You fucking bitch!" he shouted, hitting her hard across the cheek, reaching over her head for the knife as he straddled her body while she kicked helplessly with her legs beneath him.

She looked up as he held the knife over his head, his eyes wild with anger as the blood from his nose covered his face. He was going to kill her right then and there; she knew it. Her mind raced over the fear and pain that was going to be the last minutes of her life, seeing the rage on him and knowing he was going to take it out on her with that weapon. She closed her eyes, not wanting his face to be last one she saw before she died, picturing Elie and Ellen and saying Steve's name over and over in her mind, waiting for that first stab.

She heard a commotion and felt his weight come off of her. She opened her eyes and saw the other men holding him back as he viciously tried to get at her, screaming obscenities and threats of what he was going to do to her.

She pushed away from him as the other men scolded him, one going as far as hitting him to get him to calm down, taking the knife from his hand.

"She is no good to us dead!" She heard him yell in Arabic.

He calmed from his aggression but continued to stare at her as the men blasted him. She knew it wasn't over. He was going to kill her, or worse.

She felt tears of frustration fill her eyes. Her time was running out.

 _'Where are you?'_ she thought of her husband and his promise to find her. ' _Where are you?'_

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Steve looked out the window, seeing a convoy of military trucks, both American and British parked in front of the hotel Michelle and the others had been taken from. He went to get out and froze with his hand on the door handle.

"Wait!" he said to Chin and Danny. "Fuck! That fucking prick!" he growled, seeing Bryan List standing just outside the hotel entrance, speaking with a group of men.

Danny closed the door, seeing the same thing. "Shit!" he looked in the backseat at Steve, "You can't let him know you're here. What are we going to do?"

Steve ran his hand over his mouth and then an idea came to him. "I know what we're going to do. I know exactly what we're going to do."

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Jordan and Sean knocked on the door of the hotel that they had booked rooms at. It was a couple miles down the road from where Michelle's had been.

Steve opened the door and stepped back as they came in past him. "Did you get any information from him?"

"I was right," Sean said. "They have a suspicion as well that they are being held at location just across the border in Iraq, the coordinates are almost exactly the same. And they got a ransom request. They want three million for the family and four million for Michelle."

"List told you that?" Steve asked.

"Yes, Sir," Jordan replied. "He said the info came from a Lieutenant who was heading up the investigation. We just flashed our credentials and told him we were sent here from the Naval base in San Diego to assist. He never questioned our authenticity."

"Figures," Danny huffed.

"If they want four million for Michelle," Steve said uneasily, "then they must know she's worth more."

"And they know who she is," Danny finished his thought. "So do we pay or do we go?" He knew of the Swiss account with the money from Clair, they all did. There were no secrets kept from anyone.

Jordan continued with what he knew. "The Government agents in charge are waiting for authorization from Washington before they put together a task force to send across the border to investigate the compound or to pay the money. The Brit's are working their own strategy, but as far as I can tell they are going to pay the ransom. Our guys seem to be dragging their heels, which as you know in our experience with the government and red tape this could take a day or maybe even a week. We could pay the money ourselves and hope they cooperate, or on the other hand," Jordan said, "I've gassed up the vehicles Sir, we can leave anytime and just take her back."

Steve sat down in the chair carefully going over both options. "If we pay the money, there's no real chance that we would get her back alive. If we go in and just take her, then it's on our terms, but the chance of them getting to her first during the chaos scares me." he ran his hands over his face, hating having to make this decision.

Danny picked up a chair and set it down across from him, he took the seat and leaned over resting his hands on his knees, looking at Steve as he clearly juggled this heavy decision. "Look at me," Danny said firmly as his partner did so. "I've never once known you to make a bad decision in a split second choice. You go with your gut and for some freakish God only knows how reason, you're always right. So I'm asking you right now, if you had one second to make a decision, what does your gut say?"

"That we go and take her back," Steve replied without hesitation. "I know that we might be taking a risk with her life, and maybe if we wait they'll pay the ransom for her release, and maybe, just maybe they'll release her unharmed, but my gut says go in and take her back and fuck maybe. If she's in my line of vision then I'll do whatever is necessary to protect her. No one else in this world can say that."

He didn't have to come out and verbally say that he was implying that he'd give his life for her safety, they all knew that's exactly what he was suggesting.

"Then that's what we're going to do," Danny said. "We do it our way."

Kono stepped forward, "Why don't we use both, it could get us inside a lot easier and flush them out into the open."

"What do mean," Jordan asked the question that was on everyone's mind over that bold idea.

"Show up with what they think is the ransom. Have them bring Michelle out. She'll be present and then we take them out one by one in a surprise attack."

Steve looked around the room at the others, "That might work."

"If you walk in there with what they think is your money, who's to say they won't just kill you right then and take it?" Jordan asked.

Chin spoke up next. "We tell them it's half, and they get the other half once we have Michelle."

"But when they see there's no money…"

"I'll make sure Michelle is present first," Steve said, "once they open it and see there is no money, it won't matter by then, because the five of you will rain down on their heads."

A smile slowly emerged on Jordan's face. "I like the way you guys all think. Very strategic." He grinned over at Kono, liking her style and her boldness. They'd had a good conversation on the ride in from Amman but his respect for her just skyrocketed.

Steve looked around the room at the other five people. "If anyone wants out, then now's the time. There's no shame in it. You don't owe me anything, none of you." He looked back at Jordan. "None of you owe me anything."

They were all silent, looking from one to another, seeing if anyone was going to back out. No one did, and if Steve could have read their minds he would found out that not one of them even considered it.

"Ok then," he said with a look of conviction and the sound of determination, "We do Kono's plan."

"I have a question," Danny said, raising his hand. "How are we going to get across the border into Iraq?"

"Its not as difficult as you might think to get across the border," Jordan spoke up. "I did two tours in Iraq and US military visas as well as the visas you have for your Jordanian entrance will work. The only problem we might have is getting Michelle back across without her Passport."

"I'll carry her across the desert over the border if I have to," Steve said. "We'll find a way."

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Michelle lay on the floor with a blanket covering her. Her clothes lying beside her, but she didn't have the strength to dress. The family was gone. She didn't know if they'd been moved, released or killed. All she knew was that she was alone. More alone than she'd been in her entire life. She felt the only strength she had left slowly disappearing with every second that ticked by. She hadn't eaten or had any water to drink since she'd been taken almost four days before. Her body was beginning to shut down, which is what they were hoping for. First the physical withdrawal and then came the mental.

"Help me," she prayed aloud. "Please help me. I can't give up. Don't let me give up. Don't let him hurt my babies."

She thought of Ellen and Elie knowing that if she gave up then she'd never see them again. She had to stay strong for them. Help had to be coming. She had to believe that Steve would find her. She had to believe in him like she always had before. It wasn't just a frame of mind anymore; it was a matter of life and death now.

She thought about him coming through that door and carrying her home. It gave her peace for the time being, but every noise she heard made her flinch, knowing the man would be back for her, and the punishment was going to be even more brutal this time.

They had released her hands and she put them up to her face, feeling the pain in her cheek and the swelling of her eyes. She tried to sit up, but that little effort sent shocks of pain over most of her body so she gave up, lying back down. She moved her hand over her head, feeling the bald spots where her hair used to be. It would grow back, she thought, not having concern for that part of the torment that he bestowed upon her, but when she thought of the other her heart sank, trying to fight off the memory of the sounds coming from him as he violated her a third time. She kept her eyes closed the whole time, but she could hear him grunting and talking to her through it all, saying things that made her want to vomit. She put her hands over her ears, blocking it out as the fear of it happening again overcame her. She curled up under the blanket as if trying to hide away from the noises outside her room that sent shockwaves of fear through her. He was coming. She could hear his footsteps. He was coming for her again.

Her body began to tremble as tears of fear filled her eyes, not wanting to go through it again. The threat of him hurting the girls shot through her, unable to bare that thought of him being able to get to them. She'd tell him anything he wanted and give her own life to stop that from happening.

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"What do you think?" Steve asked Jordan as they lay on their belly's overlooking the compound below. It sat between two bluffs in the Iraqi desert.

"One road in, one road out," he replied, scanning the area around it. "If you could get them to come out in the area between the buildings, we could have someone up here with a rifle. They could easily get some clean shots off."

Steve agreed. "Kono could do it. She's aggressive and a great shot."

"Really," Jordan looked over at him pleasingly surprised over that.

"She's excellent." He pointed to the other side, "We could have Chin and Danny come in from the back, take care of any business that might try and sneak up on me. You and Sean could take the east entrance. Once I have Michelle, we head out, back up this way and meet up with Kono."

Jordan nodded, liking this set up. "If they try to follow us back out, we'll have clean shots, they won't be able to catch us by vehicle, we'll have too much of a head start by the time they meet the road where we'll keep the cars."

Jordan looked over at him. "Can your people make that hike in and then out again? You know the adrenaline, and if someone gets hit, they'll be an extra man to carry, plus Michelle if she can't make it on her own."

Those words sent a wave of fear through him, but he knew Jordan was right; they had to be prepared for the worst-case scenario. "Yes. They'll be up to whatever challenge they face. I have full confidence in that."

Jordan nodded, not giving it another thought. "Then we move in at dusk, the sun will be behind Kono's back giving her full advantage." He glanced over at him again. "We aren't taking prisoners here."

"I'm aware and so are my people."

"What if Michelle's not there, Sir? What then?"

Steve looked down on the compound, seeing the same trucks that had the markings on them from the pictures that Michelle had sent him. He scanned over the two buildings. It was too far away to see inside the rooms but he looked at each window sensing her presence. He wasn't sure if it was because he wanted to feel it or if he did actually feel like he was getting close to her. It didn't matter either way this was the first stop. These are the fuckers that had taken his wife. The markings on the trucks proved it. If she wasn't here, then someone inside knew where she was and he'd slowly break every bone in their body if he had to, to get it out of them.

He put the binoculars down and looked over at him. "I can't think 'what if' until I'm faced with it" he replied. "So right now, she's there. I have to believe in that and we're going in knowing she's there."

Jordan nodded, understanding his way of thinking. The reality of what they were doing hit him just then. This wasn't just a mission to get back an ex Navy Seal hostage that had once saved his life; this was Steve's wife. He'd never been married before and couldn't comprehend the bond that linked them together, but he could see it clearly in the determination in Steve's eyes. They had to succeed. He understood now and agreed, there was no 'what if' factor involved.

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Steve held the duffle bag in his right hand and looked at his watch. He was to begin making his way down the road in another two minutes. He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. He had no weapon on him except for the handgun inside the bottom of the bag. He knew they would search him and it just seemed more credible if he was unarmed. He was going to go in and negotiate for her release in the begining, hoping and praying she was there. If she wasn't, then the plan was to take them out anyway, and use the ones that lived as a tool to find out where she was. His cue if she wasn't there was to drop the bag and raise his hands. If she were there then once he made visual the plan was for Kono to start firing the second they opened the bag and saw there was nothing to offer.

He glanced at his watch again and began the walk on the road that would lead right into the compound, having confidence that the others were in place. He thought about what lied ahead of him, thinking as a soldier now and not as a husband. Michelle needed the first of the two to show up. The other would come later when she was once again safe in his arms. He felt relatively calm and confident of his back up and the plan they had. So many things could still go wrong, but he felt this was her best option, that decision came from being both her husband and a soldier.

He came around the corner and was instantly met by two armed men who raised their guns, pointing them at him as he held his left hand out, showing he wasn't armed.

He spoke to them in Arabic, getting a quick lesson from Jordan and Sean of the basics he would need, assured someone there spoke English.

"Who's in charge?" he asked.

They yelled back at him, but he had no idea what they were saying.

"Money," he said, holding up the duffel bag, and then said the one word they both took notice of. "Ransom." He saw the look between them and pointed at the duffel bag. "Ransom money. Who's in charge?"

They motioned with their guns to follow them as one led the way while the other followed behind him, his gun pointed at his back. They got to the spot where he knew he was supposed to lead them all and stopped.

The one following behind him pushed him with his gun, but Steve refused to budge. "Who's in charge!" he yelled angrily.

At that point three more men came rushing out of the building, seeing a stranger in the courtyard. They began yelling at the two guards, as they explained the contents of the bag as all five of them now had their guns pointed at him.

Kono held firm in between the two boulders up on the ledge. The sun shone down over her shoulder as she picked out her targets, deciding who was going to go first and in which order. She had clean shots of each one. "Come on," she whispered, "let me see her."

Steve waited as one ran back in and came out with the bearded man who had translated on Michelle's first day there. He approached Steve, stopping several feet away.

"Who are you?" he asked him in English.

"I brought money for the American woman you are holding hostage. Two million US dollars." He lifted the bag that was filled with a pillow from the hotel.

The man seemed startled over that, backing away as he scanned the area around them. "Who sent you here? How did you know to come here?"

"Does it matter? I get paid to find people." He held his left hand up. "The family of the American woman named Michelle sent me. They just want to pay the money to have their daughter returned."

The man stared at him, eyeing him suspiciously as he contemplated his story. He didn't make the connection of Steve and the photos on the phone, only glancing at them briefly, looking for something more substantial rather than useless family photos. He motioned with his head and spoke a word in Arabic as two of the guards came up and patted down his body. Once the man was sure Steve was harmless he walked toward him, glancing down at the bag. "We want four million US dollars for the American."

"And you'll get it. Half now and half once she's has been freed."

"No! What if I just kill you now and take the two million," he grinned arrogantly.

"Then you will only have half. This is a business transaction. It can be simple and easy. We have something you want and you have something we want. We give you ours and you give me Michelle and we walk away. No blood, no mess. Besides, who would you rather negotiate with, me, who has the money now, or the US government who has offered you nothing yet."

He looked at the bag, knowing all the weapons and freedom they could buy with that money. If this man knew their location then they were all in danger of being overrun, the money now from the family could save them from that as well. Perhaps, he thought, that's why the government was stalling; they were making a plan for attack rather than negotiation.

Steve stared at him, feeling he was getting his point across successfully when another man came out. He eyed him with the same suspicion as he approached and listened to the explanation of his presence in Arabic. Shock and then concern turned to understanding of the situation as the two men talked amongst themselves.

Steve looked past them getting impatient over the details as a bead of sweat tricked down the side of his face, wanting to see her, still not knowing if she were even there. He scanned the other men around him and beyond, sensing this was the majority of the group that occupied the compound. "Is she here?" he interrupted their discussion.

"Where is the other money?" the one asked in English.

"Close by. Is she here?"

He spoke to the other man and then looked back at Steve and nodded. "Yes." He started toward him for the money when Steve put a hand up. "I want to see her," he demanded and then quickly cooled his temper. "I've been instructed to send a picture of her. He held his phone up. They want to see that she's alive before they show the other half of the money."

He stared him down not sure how he felt about being ordered around by this man. He looked at the duffel bag of money again and decided to let it go. He went back to the other man as they whispered to each other, before looking over at Steve again.

"We will bring the woman out."

Steve squeezed the handle of the bag, trying to hide the hundreds of different emotions that shot through him over that news. He watched intently as the man turned and went back inside the building. He focused then on his surroundings, lining up Kono's and Jordan's position and the men standing around him, picking out the ones that would be an easy target, knowing that Sean, Chin and Danny were close by. When all hell broke loose his first priority was Michelle. He had to get that gun from the bag.

Michelle's tormentor stood just inside the building watching Steve and the others converse. He knew who Steve was, even if the others didn't.

"They are going to pay for the woman," the negotiator said going by him toward the room where she was being held.

"You can't let her go yet," he said to him. "She's ready to talk. I know she's ready to break."

"No! You had your time, they know of our position here, we must move on. They are paying the four million US dollars for her release."

"Who?" he yelled, "That man? That man is her husband!"

He stopped and looked at him, glancing back out the door to where Steve was. He lied and told them the family had hired him, deciding that it didn't matter either way. It was probably better this way, knowing he just wanted his wife back, assuring him that the deal was going to be simple and easy as he said.

"What about the papers she had?" he reminded him, trying to convince him to forgo the deal, wanting to break her. It had become a personal goal for him now. "She knows information of the military base. That could be highly useful information to us. He probably knows too! Let me have them both. Just put me in a room with them for five minutes and I'll get the information out of them. They'll be begging to tell me!"

"No!" he shouted at him. "They pay now! The base location is of no use to us. We have to move on. The Jordanian border has become too much of risk. It's time to move on with our plans. We have the money now. We have what we need to fulfill our destiny. The world will soon know who we are. They will all break and kneel to us, the way they forced us to kneel!"

He tightened his hands into fists, angry that he really had no say. He was just a paid soldier to them, a hired hand, useful when they wanted information out of someone. He loved the game of slowly beating someone down until they would tell him everything. Michelle had been his biggest challenge yet, and they were letting her go before he was finished with her. That infuriated him.

The negotiator came in the room behind him as he pulled the blanket off of her, seeing her naked body bruised and battered. "Get her dressed!"

Michelle woke up to instant fear, feeling the cold as the blanket was pulled off of her. She heard them speaking in Arabic and feared the worst, using her freed hands to try and fight them off with what energy she had left. She cried out in pain as they pulled her off the floor, throwing her clothes at her. "I'll talk," she mumbled incoherently. "Don't hurt my babies."

She put her jeans on first, slowly pulling them up, cringing over the bruises on her thighs and between her legs having no idea where they were taking her, assured it was somewhere horrible that would only mean more pain. She dreamt of Ellen and Elie being taken away from her, it was the worst feeling she'd ever had, frightening her beyond words over his threats of finding them and doing the same to them that he'd done to her. "Please," she whimpered as he put the hood over her head. "I'll tell you anything you want, just don't hurt my babies," she cried.

"Bring her," the bearded man ordered as he left the room.

The man held her by the arm, speaking quietly to her as they made their way down the hall toward the exit. "Such a sweet thing you are Michelle. I wish I could take your finger as a souvenir to remember you by but I think I'll take your wedding ring instead." He took her hand and pulled it off, almost dislocating her finger.

She tried to fight him from taking it from her. It had never been off her hand since Steve had put it there the day they were married. It was her most prized possession and at that moment it was the only personal link to her husband.

"No," she cried, reaching for it in her darkness as he batted her hands away, admiring it before he stuck it in his pocket. He stopped before going out, tying her hands behind her back once again.

She felt certain they were going to kill her, leading her outside to possibly film her as they beheaded her like so many other poor souls that had been kidnapped and refused to cooperate.

"Don't hurt my babies," she pleaded with him as the tears slid down her face. She felt her knees weaken as he pulled along. She thought of Steve and the possibility of a baby growing inside of her. "Please," she whimpered, feeling her legs beginning to give out as she felt the warm sun hit her.

Steve saw them come out and knew it was her the second he saw her, regardless of the hood. It was Michelle.

He had to fight back the urge of wanting to run to her and of breaking the neck of every person that stood in his way. She looked weak and unsteady on her feet as he stared at her.

"Here she is," the bearded man said, walking toward him.

"Take the hood off," he demanded. His voice deep, feeling the heat of the day burning into him as he began to sweat from the anger that was building inside of him.

Michelle froze, hearing his voice, but in the same thought she felt she must have been hallucinating.

The man reached up and pulled the hood off, exposing the cut hair and bruises on her face.

She squinted from the bright light and pain over the swelling, trying to open her eyes and focus in the direction she thought she had heard his voice. All the while her heart racing over the possibility that he was there.

The bag slipped out of Steve's hand, as he stood there shocked over her appearance. He could see from where he was standing the horrible abuse she had endured not only on her face but also on her arms and even her bare feet. He looked from her to the man standing next to her as he smiled mercilessly back at him, reaching up and rubbing his hand over Michelle's sheared scalp.

"Do you like what you see? She's worth every penny you are paying for her." He leaned over and kissed her cheek.

Steve stared at the man's hand that was on his wife. He felt something demonic inside of him rise up, never experiencing that type of vicious hatred before for another person. He was going to kill that man with his bare hands and for the first time in his life, he was going to enjoy it.

Steve kept his eyes on him and kicked the bag toward the bearded one. "Look inside," he said, "it's all there." He stepped back, getting out of range for Kono and Jordan, knowing as soon as the bag was opened that all hell was going to break loose.

The bearded man greedily bent over and unzipped it. He didn't even get a chance to see that there was nothing in it when Steve heard a sharp thud as the bullet went through his head and hit the ground behind him, blood spattered on his shoes and on the dirt around them. Before the echo of the shot could be heard, two more men fell.

Steve bent over and pulled his gun out of the bottom of the bag as the other three men left standing pointed their weapons toward the hills and began to fire in no particular direction. He shot one in the temple as the other turned and ran back inside the building. He rolled over on his back hearing footsteps behind him as two others came around the corner. He aimed at them and fired but knew the bullets that struck them were not from his gun as their chest exploded from rifle fire.

"Michelle!" he screamed out, looking over and seeing the empty spot of where she had been standing. "Michelle!" he shouted, getting to his feet and running to the entrance she had come out of.

She heard it this time loud and clear and new it was her husband. "Steve!" she screamed as the man dragged her away. She dropped to the floor in an effort to become dead weight, making it difficult for him to pull her along. She fought with him as he dragged her by the arm that was still tied behind her back, feeling powerless against his strength in her weakened state. She tried to shift her body and kick out his legs but he tossed her into the cement wall like she was a rag doll, knocking her out.

Steve came down the hall and fired a shot at him, hitting him in the shoulder. He disappeared into a nearby room and slammed the door shut.

He could hear more gunfire outside as he ran up to Michelle, rolling her over. Her appearance was even more startling as she lay there motionless. He slid an arm under her neck and lifted her up. His hand trembled as he put it against her throat, feeling for a pulse. To his great relief he realized then she was just knocked out cold.

"It's ok baby," he whimpered softly. "I'm here now. You're safe."

He checked his surroundings and set his gun down and reached around his back for his knife, cutting through the plastic straps that bound her hands, freeing them.

He heard a commotion inside the room and quickly grabbed his gun, pointing it up at the door the man had escaped through, firing several shots at it. He wanted to go after him, but he couldn't bring himself to leave Michelle's side. He had her, she was safe as long as she was with him and he couldn't risk leaving her, not even for a second.

There was more gunfire behind him as he shifted, still holding his wife with his arm and trying to keep their location secure.

He stood up and hoisted her over his shoulder, walking backward away from the door with his gun pointed at it as he heard steps behind him, quickly shifting ready to fire, seeing Danny standing there. Chin came from the other side. He saw that familiar look of concentration on both of them as they slowly moved towards him, checking out rooms as they passed.

Steve motioned with his head to the closed door. "There's one in there." He said between gritted teeth. "Kill him Danny!"

Chin and Danny both stood on opposite sides of the door as Steve backed away, keeping Michelle out of harms way if gunfire erupted.

Danny looked across at Chin and nodded as he stepped in front of the door and raised his foot and gun, kicking it open. Neither man took the time to inspect the contents or wait for retaliation; instead they both riddled the room with bullets, getting the first say.

Danny went inside first. They both came out seconds later.

"It's clear."

"What?!" Steve said going to the entrance. He glanced inside knowing there had to have been an escape route somewhere. He saw it then in the corner. There was a small hatch in the floor. "He's in a tunnel like a fucking rat!"

Danny stood over it, blasting a few shots into the wood cover before he lifted it up, looking inside. He saw the hole that narrowed and curved under the building not hesitating as he began to go after him.

"Danny no!" Steve said, shaking his head. "It's too dangerous." He spoke out of protection of his partner but regretted missing the opportunity to kill that one. They way he'd put his hands on Michelle he knew he'd been the one that had beat her. What bothered him the most was that he looked American, but even more so, he looked American military. "I hit him in the shoulder, hopefully he'll bleed to death in that hole."

Danny came up, putting a hand on Michelle's back, as she still lay slumped over Steve's shoulder, with the hair hacked off he wasn't even sure it was her until he bent over getting a look at her face as he winced, "Jesus," he mumbled shocked over her appearance. "Fuckers! Let me go after him Steve!"

"No! Let's get out of here." They had come out ahead so far and wanted to keep it that way. "Where's Sean?"

"Last I saw he and Jordan were clearing out the other building."

Steve nodded, knowing Kono was still up on the hill, instructed not to come down but to be their look out and sniper when needed, having done her job and then some.

Danny and Chin led the way as they came out; guns raised and scanned the area before motioning for Steve to come out. They walked over dead bodies, kicking guns out of the way so as not to get a bullet in their backs by a wounded man on his last leg, but as Steve went past them, he felt confident no one was going to follow them.

Sean and Jordan came out the other building going around the side one last time looking for any stragglers before they came toward him.

Sean picked up his pace seeing Michelle and instantly went in to medic mode. "Did she get hit?" he asked, feeling for a pulse on her neck.

"No, she's knocked out."

He didn't comment on the battered face, or the hair that looked like it had been ripped from her head, but felt a sharp pain, wondering what else they had done to her.

"I found Michelle's Passport," Jordan said, "as well as a number of others. I took them all."

"Any sign of the English family?" Steve asked.

"No," Jordan replied.

"All right, let's get out of here." He tucked his gun behind his back, as they began the trek out of there. Steve kept up a steady jog as they surrounded him making their way back up the hill where Kono and the vehicles were. He never once faltered or fell short of his pace, holding her securely over his shoulder, needing to get her to safety so Sean could look at her more closely and he could just hold her in his arms, swearing on his life that he may never let her out of his sight ever again.

Kono stood by the cars and smiled as all five of them came running toward her, pleased that everyone had made it out and in one piece. She smiled even brighter seeing the body slumped over Steve's shoulder, knowing it was Michelle. She opened up the back of one of the SUV's and her smile faded as he neared, seeing the damage done to not only his wife, but also her friend.

"Oh my god, Michelle," she whispered, looking at Steve remorsefully as he slid her down from his shoulder and laid her in the back, crawling in next to her. "Let's get out of here," was all he said to her.

She closed the doors and went to the other car with Jordan while Chin drove this one with Danny in the front and Sean in the backseat with his medical bag.

Steve rested his back against the side as Michelle's head lay on his arm. It pained him beyond words to see her blackened eyes almost swollen shut, as well as the bruises and cuts on her cheeks and mouth. A fresh knot began to form on her forehead from where the man had thrown her against the wall.

His eyes filled with tears as he carefully picked up her left hand, seeing the wounds on her wrists from being bound. Two of her nails had been torn off and he couldn't even think about what she might look like under the clothes that covered her. He noticed then that her wedding ring was gone as he raised her hand up to his mouth, kissing it over and over, rubbing it up against his own cheek as the first tear spilled out; both from relief and sadness over the condition she was in, knowing she must have gone through hell; cursing himself for not getting to her sooner.

She slowly began to regain consciousness as he spoke softly to her, letting her know she was safe.

He knew the second she recognized him, seeing her face light up as her own tears sprung to life followed by small whimpers that gained momentum as she realized it really was him.

He lifted her up, holding her close as she began to sob, gripping onto handfuls of his shirt as if someone might try and pull them apart. He assured her in words with a trembling voice that it wasn't going to happen, ever.

Sean opened up a duffel bag with a red cross on the front of it. He could tell by just looking at her that she needed fluid, putting together a portable IV. He leaned over the back seat, ready to hook her up, but when he saw the display he held back, not wanting to break up the tender reunion that showed precisely in every detail why they had done what they had.

He turned back around and sat down, letting her first-aid go for the next few minutes; he decided with a smile that she had all the right medication she needed at the moment.


	6. Chapter 6

Michelle lay in a hotel bed with an IV hooked into her hand. They made it across the border with little resistance, using all of their credentials and letting Jordan and Sean take the wheel in the explanation of Michelle. They simply told the truth, that they had negotiated for her release, knowing the border patrol was fully aware of the kidnappings that been taking place over the past two years. They neglected however to admit that they had wiped out the entire compound, leaving no survivors, except one that had barely escaped with his life. After careful examination of Michelle's passport they let them through, seeing her condition helped speed up the process as well. Sean pleading with them to let them go so he could get her to a hospital.

Steve stood over her bed now, looking down at her as she slept. He had stayed with Sean in the beginning, but as they began to cut away her clothes and see the real damage underneath, he had to step away, feeling his anger build over the bruises on her body, but mostly the ones on her legs and the inside of her thighs. Those hurt the most, knowing what they meant. He was a police officer and had seen that type of scaring before, but never thought he'd see it on someone that he loved, or at least he hoped and prayed he never would, knowing now what victims husbands and loved ones felt when having to face it head on.

The thought of another man with his hands on her in that way, or putting himself inside her made his blood boil. He wished now that he'd burned that fucking place to the ground with all of them inside, screaming for mercy. He thought of the one that got away, wondering if he'd hurt her that way. He remembered the way he stood before him, moving his hand provocatively over her head, assured now that he had, wishing he'd fulfilled his promise to kill him with his bare hands instead of letting him get away like a parasite in the floor.

It was the worst kind of pain that left him not only angry but feeling guilty, saddened and frightened, not knowing what the aftermath was going to do to his wife. It frightened him that the woman he had known and loved with all his heart was going to disappear because of all that had happened. And what of their baby that might be growing inside of her. He'd told Sean right away of her chances of being pregnant as he was hooking up her IV. He'd assured him there was nothing in the medication that would harm the fetus, but like Steve, it wasn't the medication that worried him the most, it was the psychological trauma.

She was strong and healthy but the scars and distinctive marks on her body told a horrific story that he had no way of treating. He could make her physically comfortable but the emotional and mental trauma was beyond his experience. He dealt with combat wounds that consisted of gunshots and broken bones, or mental trauma of seeing your buddy killed in front of you, but nothing prepared him for the type of ordeal he was facing now. Steve was one of his closest friends. He understood why he left the room. It was hard enough to treat it, but he couldn't imagine what Steve was going through. The thought of her being pregnant only made the situation more horrific.

The two men debated and argued over the idea of actually taking her to a hospital because of that fact, but it worried Sean, knowing they weren't as highly trained in Jordan as the States, afraid it might do her more harm than good. In the end they decided to get her home as soon as possible instead.

Steve stood looking out at the darkness from the window in the other room, but his focus wasn't on the outside view of the small town, but of the man in the reflection staring back at him. The last four days he'd had to put aside his own fear of mortality, using what he could of his training to work through the ordeal in order to find her, and he'd done it. He'd accomplished what he'd set out to do. She was alive, and she was in the next room sleeping, safe and sound, but as he stood there staring at the image of the man who had accomplished it all and who would have clearly stepped in front of a bullet for her in the chaos was ashamed. Here he stood all alone, even after pleading with God and anyone who would listen, begging them to let him have the gift of having her by his side again, pleading for their mercy…but again, here he stood, alone while she was in the other room. All the fear he'd had over the last few days seemed to vanish as a new one set in. He wasn't going to be able to hide from this one, he was going to have to face it head on and dig deeper into himself than he ever had for anything or anyone before. She was going to need him in so many ways that he had no idea what to expect or even how he was supposed to react to what lied ahead. All he did know was that he loved her more now maybe than he ever had and the promise they had made to each other of dying for the other he felt was going to be easy to what they were going to face now in their relationship.

He looked into his own eyes thinking of his kids, knowing of their innocence in all of this, praying it wouldn't spill over to them. He had to be strong for them as well. His family was everything to him and he was nothing without them. They depended on him for security and he'd built a sanctuary around them to protect them, but now it was being threatened. He couldn't let them down, he wouldn't. The pain he felt was nothing compared to what his wife was feeling. It was his job to put her back together and hold her up until she could stand on her own. She would be leaning on him more now than ever and he had to find that inner strength that she had that night she came down that hill and saved his life. It was his turn now to rescue her and he'd do whatever he had too to help her through it, starting right now.

He turned away from the window and went back in the other room as Sean was pulling the covers over her.

Steve sat down on the edge of the bed and carefully slid his hand under hers that rested next to him, gliding his thumb over the back of it. "When do you think she'll wake up," he asked Sean, noticing the swelling around her eyes beginning to dissipate, but she still looked so battered and weak it tore at his heart to see her like that.

"I don't know, when she's ready," he replied. He turned to leave, when Steve spoke in a quiet somber voice.

"She was raped wasn't she?" It was more of a statement than a question.

Sean stopped and turned around facing him as he stared at his sleeping wife. He didn't know what to say. How was he supposed to tell him that he suspected more than likely that another man had violated his wife. All the signs pointed in that direction.

Steve turned around and looked at him when he didn't get a reply. The expression on Sean's face gave his answer. Steve knew then without a doubt that she had been. Tears instantly sprang to his eyes as he faced her again, gently squeezing her hand. "I figured so."

"She's strong Steve. She's the toughest woman I've ever met. You two are solid. You'll get through it."

He nodded, not sure words could get past his lips as he glided the back of his hand over her cheek that was beginning to regain color. He stared at her face that would have been unrecognizable to most with the cuts and bruises as well as the long dark hair that had once been beautiful and lush that was now gone, replaced by short clumps, some cut to the scalp while others left a couple of inches in length. It would eventually all have to be cut off, but she was never a vain person, knowing her attitude would be that it would grow back. Physically she would heal, it was the emotional state that he had no idea how she would react too.

He stayed by her side, most of the night as the others prepared to leave for their flight back to Hawaii. He wanted them out of the country as soon as possible incase there was some repercussion for their raid on the compound. He'd only spoken to each one briefly, mostly wanting to thank them for their help and to make sure what they had gone through hadn't traumatized them. He knew what could happen in battle and how a soldier could be there 100% both physically and psychologically during battle, but sometimes once it was over, that was when the real battle would begin, trying to come to terms with the things they saw and did. He spoke to each one, asking questions and watching for their reaction but more so listening to their response. He knew the signs to watch for and to his relief he hadn't seen one on any of them, mainly concerned with Kono, Chin and Danny, in that order.

The only part of that night he had enjoyed was speaking with Clair, who tearfully thanked him over and over as she cried, praising him for keeping his word. He didn't go into detail of Michelle's condition, not wanting to frighten her, but did say that she was in no condition to fly for at least a couple of days. They talked over the details of her return as Clair insisted they take a private jet home, which Steve didn't argue with, knowing she could afford the expense and it would be the best thing for Michelle to get her home sooner, putting her on a commercial flight in her condition would have been mortifying to her and would have raised several red flags. He wanted her as well as himself and Sean out of the country as soon as possible too.

The next discussion was the kids. He didn't want them to see her in that condition, but wasn't sure how to bring her home. Clair again came up with their solution, to bring her to the old house and let her recoup there, that way he'd still be close and she could stay with the girls, telling them that their mother would be gone just a little while longer. He wasn't sure if they had renters in the house or not and she assured him that she would take care of it, doing whatever necessary to free up the loose ends before they returned.

By the time the call had ended, it was he thanking her for being there and helping him.

"We're family," she said proudly. "We do what we have to for each other," knowing that was an understatement as far as what he had done for Michelle. There was a silence on the phone before she hung up. "I know you're not telling me everything," she said, "but she's my daughter Steve, and I'm her mother, I deserve know how she really is."

He closed his eyes hearing the gentle yet firm tone in her voice, knowing she was right.

"She doesn't look good, Clair."

"I kind of got that idea, considering you don't want the girls to see her yet."

He debated whether to tell her about the rape, but decided against it, keeping that between the only three that knew. It was up to Michelle to divulge that information. He didn't feel he had the right to infringe on something so personal of that nature. "She was beat up pretty bad."

"Why?" she began before her voice broke, "Why would they do that?"

He could hear her crying on the other end, "Because she wouldn't give up the information they wanted."

She knew Michelle's stubbornness and also knew after the first hit that even if the beatings became severe she wouldn't give in just to spite them, even if she wanted too. "She can be so stubborn and so strong too. Does she need a hospital?"

"No. Sean's a medic. There's nothing internal and nothing broken. She's hooked up to an IV right now, sleeping."

"Thank you for telling me," she said quietly, not wanting to know any more details, just picturing her daughter in that state was enough. "I'll make sure everything is taken care of here when you return. I'll make the arrangements for the flight as well."

"Let me know when its ready. I want to get her out of here and home."

They hung up, each one feeling that horrible pain in their heart over a loved one that was hurting. He felt for Clair, knowing she wanted to be there for her.

He went back in the other room and as he approached the bed he saw that she was awake, looking at him.

"Hey," he smiled, kneeling down on the side.

She didn't return the gesture. Her blackened eyes showed a sadness and weakness that he'd never seen on her before, ever. It was crushing him.

He put a hand on her shoulder, gently caressing her. "It's going to be ok. You're so…" he began when she interrupted him.

"I want to clean up," she said barely above a whisper. Her voice mirrored the pain in her eyes as tears filled them, not knowing if he knew of her ordeal or not. "I want a shower."

He leaned in and kissed her forehead, not wanting her to see his own painful expression over that, knowing why she wanted to clean up. "Ok."

He stood up and went into the bathroom, turning the shower on, getting the temperature just right. When he turned around to go and get her, he was surprised that she was standing in the doorway with the blanket wrapped around her body. She looked so fragile he wasn't even sure how she was standing on her own, seeing the IV marks on her hand where she had removed the tube.

"I can do it," she said not wanting him in the room with her. He was a police officer and she knew now that he had seen the marks on her naked body of what that man had done to her. She didn't have to confess it, nor did he have to ask, all the signs were there.

"The medication might make you woozy," he said not wanting to leave her, not because he was really afraid she might fall but because he didn't want her to feel ashamed. He didn't want her shutting him out.

"I feel fine," she argued.

"Michelle,"

"I just want to be alone to take a shower!" she snapped, keeping her eyes downcast. She raised them just slightly, still not making eye contact with him. "I'll be fine," she replied in a more tender voice.

He didn't want to argue with her and cause her any more grief, feeling he had no choice in the matter. He went out the door past her as she moved out of his way, keeping enough distance between them so as not to touch.

"I'll be right in here if you need me," he reminded her, not sure that she cared.

She nodded as she closed the door while he stood on the other side feeling defeated in that first wave of his battle with her recovery, wanting to break the door down.

Michelle stood on the other side as the tears dripped out of her eyes, feeling ashamed for closing the door on him but even more ashamed of her appearance. She moved past the mirror, avoiding the reflection, not wanting to see what she looked liked just yet, what she wanted was to clean her body from head to toe and anywhere that she had been touched. She dropped the blanket and stepped inside the shower, cringing as the warm water pelted her bruises and cuts, but didn't let the discomfort distract her.

She reached for the bar of soap and lathered up her hands, moving them over her arms where he had grabbed her and pulled her off the floor, throwing her on the table. She moved up around her neck where he had choked her at one point so hard she felt she was going to pass out. She lathered up more and put her hands on her head, scrubbing vigorously with her fingers, feeling her anger grow over his cutting of her hair. She stepped under the water letting it rinse off as she lathered up more and bent over, feeling her muscles strain from the stiffness that had set in after being tight for so long from the stress and the beatings.

She began at her toes and cleaned off the dirt from the floor she'd been dragged across, moving up and cleaning her scrapped knees as she scrubbed off the scabs that had grown over them for protection until they began to bleed again. She moved up her thighs, seeing the bruises between her legs as she rubbed over them with the soap, scrubbing harder and harder remembering how it felt when she got them. She looked up into the water as she used the soap between her legs, cleaning off the stench and grotesque remains that he left behind. Her body trembled and she felt cold even under the warm water, hearing his awful voice and the sounds he made. He'd broken her, after all the fighting and beatings she'd put up with, in the end he had won. She was going to give in and tell him what he wanted to know for fear of what he would do to Elie and Ellen.

She felt sick as her head began to swirl, feeling like she might faint. She reached out for the wall when she felt Steve's arms come around her body from behind, holding her up.

He heard her cries from outside the bathroom door. The only sound he hated worse than his daughters crying, was his wife crying. He caught her just as she was falling forward. The anguish and pain in her sobs echoed throughout the bathroom as he pulled he close up against his body while the water poured over both of them.

She gripped onto his arms that surrounded her, finding comfort in his embrace that she'd been craving throughout her ordeal. She dreamt of it, even wrapping her own arms around her body, pretending it was him.

She turned around laying her head on his shoulder as he held her, telling her it was going to be all right, that they'd get through it. He sounded so sincere and she wanted to believe him so badly, but at the moment she felt so much hurt and shame that she couldn't find an ounce of happiness that had once empowered her. She was weak with despair.

"You're so strong, Michelle," he said, trying to get through to her past the sobbing that was breaking his heart, "and there's nothing you and I can't overcome together. You have to believe in that right now. I'll help you anyway I can. I'll do anything," his voice broke as her body shook while she clung to him, gripping onto his wet clothes, never in his life hearing so much sadness in ones tears. She was the love of his life, his partner, and his best friend. When she was in pain he felt it twice fold, frightened now over the anguish in her cries, unable to do anything for her at the moment but just hold her and comfort her anyway he could.

She'd never needed him more than she did at that second, feeling the chill inside of her vanish as his warmth filled her. She couldn't stand the thought that another man had taken advantage of what they both held so sacred. It was the foundation of their marriage and what kept them close.

She felt herself being lifted as her arms went around his neck, hiding her face as they passed the mirror, not able to look at herself and see what that monster had done to her. The knowledge that he was the last one inside her when the man holding her was the one she had promised herself too only made the ordeal more agonizing.

Steve laid her down on the bed and quickly went back in the bathroom, grabbing all the towels off the shelf and rushing back to her, feeling that tiny separation even unbearable. He began to carefully dry her off as he struggled to keep his emotions in tact when all he really wanted to do was cry with her, seeing the evidence clearly once again what she'd gone through.

She watched him as the water from the shower dripped off his wet hair and face, not concerned with himself as he catered to her. Her heart went out to him, seeing the worry on his face and in the eyes that were always so strong and sturdy, keeping his family afloat even through the toughest of times, but she knew him and knew this was hurting him just as much. The thought hit her again of the beast who had tried to come between them, telling her ' _she'd think of him while with her husband'_ , and that ' _she felt so good'_ as he choked her and hit her. The pain between her legs intensified as the violent feel of him came rushing back, needing it to stop and prove to him that he hadn't beat her. She reached out and grabbed Steve's wet shirt as the relentless tears began again, needing the one thing from him that she felt could heal the pain.

"Make love to me," she whispered, clinging desperately to him, "please," she begged, seeing the shock on his face over that request. "I need you," she whimpered. "I need you to be the last one inside me, please," her plea intensified, pulling on him to lay down with her as he stared at her. "Please Steve, do this for me."

Any other time in his life and he would have sprang into action, giving her happily what she asked for, but this scenario wasn't like anything he'd ever imagined. The idea of it caught him so far off guard he couldn't even focus on the need, still reeling over the words that he couldn't believe he was hearing.

"Michelle," he barely got her name out, seeing the desperation in her eyes, pleading with him.

"I know what I look like," she said, diverting her eyes away from his, "you don't have to kiss me," fresh tears spilled onto the pillow, not needing to look in a mirror to know she was frightful. She could feel the swelling and cuts on her face when she spoke. "I tried to stop it," she professed, "I kicked and fought back," she choked out the words, wanting him to know she hadn't let it happen without a fight, "but my hands were tied behind my back," her voice choked, feeling that awful helplessness again when she had first realized what was going to happen to her. "I tried…"

"Stop," he said, hearing guilt in her voice as if she were trying to convince him that it wasn't her fault. Her took her hand that was still gripped tightly to his shirt. "Look at me, Michelle," he whispered, needing her to hear him loud and clear when he spoke to her.

She hesitantly looked up at the calm voice that had always been able to pull her back up even when she felt at her lowest, needing it now more than ever. But the voice didn't match the expression on his face. He looked wounded and his eyes showed a deep sadness that she'd never seen on him before.

"I hear guilt and I hear you wanting to blame yourself, but worse than that," he fought to get the words out, "I hear you trying to convince me," he lost the battle as the first of several tears slipped out. He didn't cry for himself but for his wife. It broke his heart that she would even think for a second that he would see her as anything other than a fighter. "I know you. I see you. The wounds on your body didn't get there because you stood still and let it happen."

The words were comforting, but she needed more from him to make the awful ache inside of her disappear. "Help me," she pulled on him again, "please, I need you to make this feeling go away."

He knew she was asking him again to make love to her. The idea this time wasn't as shocking. She needed something from him and he'd never denied her anything before, ever. How could he possibly deny her this, when all she wanted was the one thing that bonded them together so tightly. He was scared for her, not wanting to hurt her, but if he said no, he was more frightened that he would be telling her that he didn't want her, and that was not the case, nor did he even want to put that thought in her head. But he still held the fear of not being able to perform. Their situation was unique and the pressure he was under to fulfill her need was like a worse care scenario. What if he couldn't do it? It would be the same as telling her he didn't want her.

"I don't want to hurt you," he said, knowing she had to be tender and sore from it all.

She let go of him, knowing the answer was no. How could she even ask it of him? It was selfish on her part. "I understand," she replied quietly, "it'll go away on its own."

He knew she meant the pain, but also knew it wasn't physical pain she was talking about. He recalled her desperate words, telling him she wanted him to be the last one inside her. That thought sunk in, getting a clarification of what she really wanted from him. He wanted to do this for her but wasn't sure he could.

"You don't have to look at me, Steve."

It was the very thought he never wanted his wife to experience, the idea that he saw her as anything but exceptionally beautiful. He stood up and pulled his wet shirt over his head, dropping it on the floor next to him. She looked up at him with fresh tears in her eyes over his willingness. He forwent removing the rest of his clothes not wanting that thought to sit in her head for even a second longer. He kept eye contact with her as he lay down on the bed, hovering over her, looking into her eyes until the last possible second before his lips touched hers.

They were gentle and soft, filling her with that familiar warmth that could only come from one of his kisses. She never wanted or needed him as badly as she did at that second, already feeling the relief that she'd been searching for.

He could feel her hands trembling as she moved them up his chest, making it even more difficult for him to fulfill his duty. She was so fragile and weak and the thought of bringing her anymore pain, especially in bed was playing havoc against him. He understood what she wanted from him but it angered him that another man had come between them in this way and hurt her like he had. She was fragile and weak because of that other person. He'd put his hands on her in the most violent and cruel way he could imagine. The visual of it made his heart rate soar, wishing again he'd killed them all, slowly and painfully.

He broke away from the kiss, keeping his eyes closed as he rested his forehead on her shoulder, still hovering over her. The want for her was there, but he just couldn't physically bring himself to do it. "I can't Michelle."

She slowly opened her legs, trying not to cringe from the stiffness that had set in again. "Yes you can," she whispered to him. "Please. You said you'd help me," she pleaded with him. "Help me now." She moved her hands down his body and pulled down on his pants that were already undone, "I need you."

He felt he was caught in the middle of heaven and hell. He loved her more than anything in the world, but having to show that love to her in the way he was accustomed was next to impossible. Her begging him and knowing he couldn't do it was the hell that was tearing him up inside. "I'm sorry," his voice shuttered over the apology that he never dreamt would ever come from him. "I can't Michelle. It's not because of you," he said, kissing her shoulder, but knew his words and kisses weren't the relief she was looking for. He knew that by the way her body stiffened as she turned her head away from him.

"It's ok," she replied, biting her bottom lip that began to quiver, trying to fight back the new tears of rejection she felt from the one person she was sure could make it all go away, but once again she told herself it wasn't fair of her to ask it of him either.

He had yet to put his full weight on her, still using his elbows as a brace so as not to hurt her. He lifted his head, seeing the disappointment on her, which in turn was only making his hell that much more real, but there was no way he was going to be able to physically make love to her. There were just too many fatal emotions flowing through him to even attempt it. The outcome could be worse he thought; even if he did eventually become aroused the first sign of pain from her would kill it. He just couldn't go through with it.

"I'm sorry," he whispered sincerely, but seeing her tears and knowing those were put there because of him ignited a whole new set of emotions in him that broke the seal that he'd been fighting to keep under control. "I'm sorry," he cried, putting his head back down on her shoulder, "I'm so sorry."

She heard the sorrow in his voice before she felt his tears drip on her neck, mixing in with hers as they slid off her body. She put her hand on the back of his head, resting her cheek against his. "Its ok," she whispered, "I understand. I'm sorry for asking. You didn't deserve that."

"I love you so much," he replied

"I know." She lowered her legs, cringing over the strain of her muscles as he moved off of her, lying down on the bed next to her. "I'm cold," she said, reaching for the covers.

He helped pull them up so they covered her naked body, keeping his eyes on hers while she seemed to look everywhere but at him. When she finally did it was only briefly and he wasn't sure if he saw hurt, disappointment, humiliation or all three. He lay back down, facing her as she closed her eyes. "I need to eat," she said. "Do you think you could get me something?"

He sat up on his elbow again, looking down at her. His eyes roamed over her face, seeing the woman who could jump-start his heart with just a glance even through the bruises and cuts. He wanted to ask her so badly if she really wanted food, or if she just wanted him to leave? He didn't ask though, afraid of her answer. "I'll find you something you like."

She kept her eyes closed, feeling his eyes on her, but she couldn't bring herself to look at him and see something other than what she always had in the past, already feeling that shift in their relationship. It frightened her that he'd never look at her the same way again without thinking of that other man.

It was killing her that he had been right, she was thinking of him while she was with her husband. She had no appetite for food, feeling more like she wanted to vomit, and needing to be alone.

Steve rolled over to the other side and sat on the edge with his back to her, running his hands over his face, clearing away the earlier moisture. He turned his head just slightly, not able to leave without saying something to her, hoping to reassure her again. "Please don't think it was because of you, Michelle."

"You already said that to me, so why would I think such a thing, Steve?" she replied almost to the point of sarcastic.

He wished now he hadn't said anything at all.

"Will you please get me something to eat," she requested again, really needing him to leave. His repeated excuse hit her painfully hard. If it wasn't because of her then what other reason was there? There wasn't one, and him trying to convince her of that just made it all the more evident.

He got up and went in the other room, quietly closing the door behind him and leaned back against it.

' _You fucking idiot,'_ he thought. ' _How could you say that? How could you even put that thought in her head?'_ He bent over bracing his hands on his knees, feeling his stomach turn and tense up. "Goddamnit," he mumbled.

"You ok?" Sean asked as he came in the room carrying a tray of food. He stopped and stared at Steve, seeing the strain on his face as he stood up straight. "Is everything ok with Michelle?" His first thought was that maybe she had taken a turn for the worst.

He nodded, walking over to the window of the room. He looked beyond his reflection this time, not being able to stand the sight of himself, knowing how he'd already failed as a husband by not only failing to protect his wife, but by failing at the one thing he prided himself on in his marriage, by giving her whatever she needed to make her happy. He'd never felt a low hit him so hard as it did at that moment.


	7. Chapter 7

Steve took Michelle's elbow with one hand while his other was around her body, helping her up the steep steps to the private jet at the Amman airport. Sean walked behind them as all three prepared to leave the country that none of them ever wanted to set foot in again.

There had been no talk of the compound they had raided. Sean had used his credentials to gather information but both he and Steve were surprised that nothing had been mentioned, assuming it hadn't been discovered as of yet.

He sat Michelle down in a seat and began to strap her in when she took over the task herself.

"I got it," she said to him, pulling the belt across her waist.

He sat down in the seat across from her as Sean took the one across the way.

"Your Mom really came through with this," Steve said to her of the plane.

She looked up at him, barely showing her eyes from below the rim of the baseball hat she was wearing to cover her nearly shaved head. She had done what she could that morning with a razor and scissors, getting it evened out, but some areas were so short that there were cuts on her scalp from the knife. Out of anger she just took it all off.

She had stared at herself in the mirror not recognizing the person looking back at her. She was just a shadow of the woman who had left Hawaii almost a week earlier. The swelling around her eyes had gone down some, but the bruises and cuts on her lips and cheeks were still very raw and her eyes were blackened, looking far worse than they felt anymore. She couldn't face her girls looking like this, it frightened her, and she couldn't imagine what it would do to them.

"You ok?" Steve asked when she didn't reply. He reached across and put a hand on one of her scraped knees.

She looked down at it but not at him. "Yes."

"Do you want something for the pain before we take off?"

"No. I'm just tired."

Her voice was small and at times he had to lean in to hear what she was saying. He'd never had to do that before. "We'll be home soon," he said with a smile, stroking her knee.

"Home to what?" she snapped, "to be locked up in a house until my hair and face grow back to normal."

He was taken back by not only her words but also her tone. "We can go home to the new house," he said passively. "I told you before, I thought this is what you would have wanted."

"This is what you and my mother decided for me. I don't recall being asked."

"Then lets do it," he said, trying his best to accommodate her without making her angrier than she already was.

"I would have gone home if asked, but now that the subject has been broached that I look like a monster, I don't want too."

"Michelle," he quickly countered her, "you don't look like a monster." He reached for her hand but she moved it away before he could take it.

She looked across at him for the first time, "But I don't look presentable to bring home either, do I? I wouldn't want to frighten the girls," she said sarcastically.

He sat back feeling guilty for not consulting with her first, but he truly believed this is what she would have wanted. "I'm sorry. I should have talked to you first." He leaned forward again. "It wasn't meant as an insult."

"It certainly wasn't a compliment," she fired back.

She saw the pained look on his face, as the same feeling shot through her. "I'm sorry, Steve," she quickly recanted. "I'm just…" she shook her head, frustrated with herself, not knowing why she had attacked him like that. "I'm just nervous about going home I guess." She turned, looking out the window of the plane as they fired up the engines.

"It's ok," he replied softly, not reacting to her outburst, blaming himself for it. "You're right though, I should have talked to you first. I wasn't thinking."

Michelle looked over at him, knowing he was thinking, thinking only of her. "I'm sorry," she said sincerely as tears filled her eyes. "I'm scared Steve. Look at me," she took the hat off, exposing herself to him as she bent her head and began to sob. "The girls would be terrified of me."

He took his seat belt off and moved over to the seat next to her, putting his arms around her. "You went through hell, Michelle, and you survived. You'll heal. Your wounds will heal. Your hair will grow back. We'll get through this."

She leaned into him feeling the security of his embrace and heard the conviction in his voice, but there were wounds inside of her that she feared weren't going to heal as quickly as the physical ones. She felt that shame over knowing she had given in to them. Steve had got there in time to rescue her before she had confessed what she knew, but in her mind she had already given up. The beast had won.

He was dead now she presumed, knowing they had wiped out everyone there. Steve and she hadn't discussed it yet, but when she asked Sean while he had been examining her, he assured her they had cleaned house, which meant to Michelle that there were no survivors.

She felt the rumbling of the plane as it jetted down the runway, and then the smooth calmness as it lifted off the ground. She remembered feeling the same tense and nervous anxiety when she left Hawaii. She was on her way back to paradise but had the sinking feeling that she wasn't leaving hell behind like Steve had said. She was scared of the feelings that were coursing through her, leaning into him more as he whispered words of encouragement and love to her. He was her saving grace. She prayed those deep, embedded feelings she felt for him before she left Hawaii would return, because at the moment all she felt was numb.

Steve moved the armrest between them, holding her head down on his shoulder as she cried. Her mood swings were so unpredictable in the last twenty-four hours that he never knew what to expect from one second to the next. But he didn't falter in going with each one, allowing her the ability to verbally lash out if that's what she needed and also allowing her to use him as a punching bag. He could take it, knowing it really wasn't his Michelle that was criticizing him, it was the person who had been caged and beaten and raped, who was now angry and unpredictable. At the moment his wife was in his arms, even though she had been angry, she always ended up there in the end. He held steady, giving her what she needed, but underneath it all he too held a deep guilt over not giving her what she asked of him the night before. He was taking her retribution, considering it his punishment, questioning whether the mood swings would even exist if he had been able to fulfill her need. His guilt over that wasn't going away. He was working twice as hard in the other direction to accommodate his failure there.

He looked up over her shoulder at Sean who was seated across the isle. They made eye contact and he could see the concern in his friend's eyes, but as Sean looked away he also saw sympathy, not sure if that was directed at Michelle, or at him.

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Eight hours into their fifteen-hour flight home, Michelle slept on the fold down seats that converted into a bed. Steve and Sean sat at small table across from her after getting some much needed sleep of their own.

Sean laid out the pile of Passports and ID badges that he and Jordan had found at the compound. They each took a stack and began to go through them.

Sean held the second one he had up to Steve, "Wasn't this the guy that did most of the talking?"

He leaned over getting a closer view of the Passport photo. "Yes. He was the one that was going through the bag when Kono hit him."

"You know it's pretty incredible that we all came out of that with no injuries," Sean said to him.

Steve looked across at him shaking his head as if he couldn't believe it either. "I was thinking about that earlier. I know the people that were with us are all well trained, but you're right, that was nothing short of a miracle considering we were outnumbered three to one."

"Your team is impressive."

Steve smiled, "In more ways than one." He picked up another passport and his smile faded, looking at the picture of the man who had brought out Michelle. He stared at the photo as his eyes narrowed into two angry slits, recalling how he had touched his wife so callously in front of him, tormenting him on purpose. He felt his muscles tense up as his other hand reflexively formed into a tight fist, unable to stop the vision of him hurting his wife. He read the name out loud, "Asad Credan." He showed it to Sean. "This is the one that got away. I also think he's the one that hurt Michelle."

Sean showed him the US Passport in his hand that was issued seven years before the Jordanian one. "Taylor Ward. Same guy."

Steve looked at the picture and then at the one in his hand, "Son of a bitch. He's American?!"

"What do you mean he got away?" Sean asked him. "I thought we took em' all out."

"He got away from me and into a room, but not before I clipped him in the shoulder. From there he crawled into a tunnel. Danny was going to go after him, but I stopped him. It was too dangerous."

Sean nodded, agreeing with him. "I can't believe someone that grew up in the same country as we did could resort to this type of treason. It makes me sick."

Steve agreed with him this time. "I know, but it's happening, more and more. I especially don't get the ex-military defection. He obviously must have felt some kind of loyalty at one time or another or why would he have joined up."

"It's a mystery to me. I don't get it and I never will."

They both looked over in Michelle's direction as she stirred but continued to sleep. Steve felt another form of guilt hit from letting that one get away. He should have gone after him himself, if he knew then what he knew now, he would have. And when he caught him he would have slowly twisted his neck until he heard it snap, looking the prick in the eye until the very end, taunting him, making him suffer the same way he did Michelle.

"She's going to have a rough road ahead of her, both of you are," Sean said knowingly, already seeing the first signs from their earlier conversation.

Steve looked at her sympathetically; his emotions taking a one eighty turn in a split second. "I know. I need to work harder on being a better husband."

Sean looked at him as if that statement was the most peculiar one he'd ever heard. "What are you talking about? From what I've seen you're a pretty damn good husband."

He didn't feel it, especially after what had taken place the night before. "I need to be more sensitive to her needs, especially now. She's so fragile."

"Hey," he said firmly, hearing the same guilt in his voice that he heard from the earlier discussion between he and Michelle. "None of this was your fault. She's going to need help, yes, that's for certain. She's going to go through depression, anger, guilt and even denial, but don't let her take you down with her."

Steve looked across at him, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I've dealt with post traumatic war injuries. I've seen what can happen when the spouse tries to compensate by being too cooperative, but in the end all they end up being is resentful and the problem never gets solved. You and Michelle have a good relationship because you respect each other, don't cater to her; make her face what happened. She'll hide behind you, and I know you, you'll let her."

"It's easy to say that Sean when you've never been married. She's my wife. It's my job to protect her."

"See," he pointed out. "You're already doing it. Rescuing her from terrorists is one thing, but protecting her from herself is something different."

"She's stronger than you think," Steve fired back, "mentally and emotionally. She'll get through this. We both will." He angrily scooped up the passports and put them back in the bag. "I appreciate your help with getting her back Sean, but don't lecture me on my duties as a husband until you step into those shoes."

Sean put his hands up, "Hey, I'm sorry. I'm just trying to give you a heads up. But don't you sit there and pretend that just because I'm not married that I don't know what I'm talking about."

"Drop it alright?"

"Get her some help, soon."

"I said drop it!"

He didn't reply, but dropped it as requested. They still had a long flight ahead of them.

Steve went to stand up but hesitated, facing his friend again. "Look Sean," he said more calmly, "I appreciate what you're trying to say. I really do, but Michelle and I have this…" he wished he could explain to him the tight bond that they shared but it was hard to put into words. "We're stronger I think than most couples. We have great communication. She can talk to me and she knows it. I agree she's going to need counseling, but I just don't want to force her hand right away. This is going to be a long road to recovery, and I just want her to feel that I'm still her biggest ally and not just her husband. You know what I mean?"

"Yes, I get it, just don't cross that line Steve where you take on the burden so much that it becomes a threat to her when you do finally say its time. That's all I'm saying."

He looked over at his sleeping wife. "I won't." But he had no idea where that line was. He had to trust her as much as she trusted him. There was going to be hard times ahead, that he knew, but he had to trust in Michelle that she would rely on the one thing she was good at recognizing, her strengths and her weaknesses. Neither of them had ever been ashamed to express the latter of the two to each other, hoping that still stood.

Michelle laid still listening to them talk, hearing the tail end of their conversation. She didn't know how to feel about what they were saying. She felt emptiness inside of her that she never knew could exist, not even after the time all those years before when she thought she had lost Steve in a helicopter accident. This feeling of emptiness was different. It took away her power, her energy, leaving her lying there feeling weak and guilty on so many levels, but more than that she felt shame. She listened to Steve talk about their strong relationship, but yet he couldn't even look at her as a husband the night before, let alone attempt to perform as one. Instead he saw her as she felt, weak and fragile, which made her even angrier. He never would have treated her that way if it hadn't been for the rape. She could already see the changes in him. His eyes the night before about broke her heart the way he looked at her, not at all in the same adoring way he used too or the way she had dreamt of while she lay on that had hard wooden floor after a beating, or on the table as she was being tortured in the worse way. Her husband who had been her mental stability through it all and had come through for her, liberating her from her captures like the hero she had always felt he was, but he hadn't expected to be bringing home this person she was now. She could see the horror in his eyes when she had asked him for the one thing they had held so sacred in their marriage. The emptiness surrounded her, realizing they would never have that same intimacy ever again. It was gone.

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Michelle opened her eyes, feeling a jolt of the plane as it hit an air pocket. She moaned softly as she slowly pushed herself up. She felt his arm come around her waist, helping her.

"You ok? Are you in pain?"

She looked up at the concern in his eyes. "I'm just stiff is all."

He reached over her to a napkin that was on a plate of food that the one flight attendant who was on board had left for her. She, and the two pilots resided through a door in the front of the plane where the galley and a bed similar to the one Michelle slept on was. They were not to be seen or heard from unless called upon by the button over each of the passenger seats. Then they appeared dutifully in a matter of seconds.

He took the napkin and gently dabbed it on her cheek. "You broke open a cut while you slept."

She looked down at the pristine white pillow that had traces of smeared blood on it. She scooted away from him, putting her feet on the floor, using her hands to push herself up. He stood up and began to reach for her when she halted his help. "I got it," she sighed. "You don't have to stand by my side every second like I'm going to crumble or something." She walked away toward the bathroom.

He watched her try and hide the pain she felt, but the limp in her walk told the truth. He stared at the bruises on the back of her legs that looked even worse as they healed. And the terrible scrapes on both of her elbows made him wince. He loved her so much that even when she had a paper cut he hated the discomfort it brought her, what he was seeing now tore at his heart like nothing he'd ever felt before. He closed his eyes, catching his emotions before they got away from him, not wanting her to see just how badly it did affect him. She was self-conscious at the moment and he didn't need to re-ignite her feelings of insecurity all because he wanted to cry for his wife's pain and not her appearance, afraid she wouldn't see it that way.

He busied himself in the meantime by putting away her bed and arranging her tray of food that consisted of a sandwich wrapped in cellophane to keep it fresh and a bag of chips. He set it on the small table and pushed the button alerting the flight crew that they were needed. Within a minute she appeared as he requested a couple of cold bottles of water and some coffee for himself. He glanced over at Sean who had his back to him as he slept on one of the other converted beds, softly snoring.

He thanked her as she brought it to him and then disappeared through the door once again, leaving him alone. He sat back and looked out the window of the plane, seeing the sun just beginning to break the horizon. They'd be home in less than four hours, wondering how he was going to explain to the girl's Michelle's absence. They wouldn't even be able to video chat with her. He hated lying but felt honestly there was no other way.

His thoughts were interrupted as Michelle made her way back over to him. He made a move to help her and then withdrew, recalling her earlier scolding of not hovering over her. Again, it wasn't because he thought she was weak, but because if an extra hand would reduce even the slightest bit of her discomfort, he would have willingly cut off both of his and given them to her. It was hard to sit and not help.

She caught his eye for only a moment and then turned away from it, hating the pity she saw. She knew him and knew it wasn't all because of her appearance, he loved her, she knew that and if the tables were turned she'd feel the same way about his pain, but she couldn't help but feel the shame over him knowing that another man had been where she had only promised him for the rest of her life. How could he not think it? Even if he didn't blame her, which she was assured he didn't, still, the thought of that other man had to be there.

She took the seat as he began to unwrap her sandwich.

"You should be starving. If you want another one, just let me know, or something else even. They have a menu of about six different items." He looked up at her, "Is this ok? Do you want to look at the menu and maybe get something else? I thought you'd be hungry when you woke up so I wanted something you could eat right away, but if you want something else…" he said, trying to appease her when she reached over putting her hand over his.

"It's fine, Steve. Thank you. It looks really good actually. You made a good choice."

He smiled pulling open one of the bag of chips. "I know you can't resist Doritos. I got you two bags because I know you like to put half of them on your sandwich."

Michelle smiled too but it lasted only a second as she reached up, touching a cut on her lip that had spread open. "Ouch." She moistened it with her tongue but it only made it sting.

"Here," Steve said, getting up and going over to Sean's bag. He brought back a small tube and squeezed out a little bit of the clear gel on his index finger. He sat down in the seat next to her. "This should help. Sean said he uses it on burns but it works great for cuts too. It's odorless and tasteless."

She held still as he gently touched her cut lip, using his finger as he spread the gel over it. She looked at him as he concentrated on his duty, moving from her lips to another one on her cheek. His touch was as tender as it ever was, being careful so as not to cause her anymore discomfort. The vision before her now was the one she had focused on as she lay on the cold, hard floor after an encounter with the man. Steve was her salvation and comfort through it all.

"I knew you'd come for me," she said barely above a whisper. "I knew it all along."

He stopped what he was doing and looked into her beautiful hazel eyes, seeing his wife that he loved so much looking back at him for the first time since they reunited. "I'm sorry, Michelle. I'm sorry I wasn't there sooner."

"I never gave up. I never gave up fighting," she said through gritted teeth. "I fought him every time. I fought hard, Steve," she whimpered, wanting him to know just that.

He put his hand behind her neck, cupping it gently, yet with purpose so she couldn't turn away from him. "Listen to me. I know you. I know what kind of woman and what kind of soldier you are. I've never seen you give up on anything. If you couldn't control the situation it wasn't because you didn't fight back hard enough, it was because you were restrained or overpowered. Even then I know you wouldn't give up."

She held her hand up, as tears filled her eyes, showing him the evidence of bruises around her wrist. "He tied my hands."

He didn't look at them but kept his eyes focused on hers. It broke his heart that she felt she had to prove it to him. "I love you." Those words had never meant more to him than they did at that second and the tone of his voice expressed it to her. "Nothing will ever change that. Nothing! You're everything to me; don't you know that? Those few days when the thought was there that I might lose you…" he paused as his own tears sprang to life. "I can't live without you, Michelle. I don't know how I would do it. I couldn't."

"Can you still see me?" she asked, fearing his view of her had become distorted. "Do you still see me the same way?"

"I've told you before, you're the only woman I've ever loved. I'll always see that person in you, no matter what. What happened to you was beyond cruel and beyond any kind of torture that I could have taken. He tried to break you but he failed. You beat him. And he won't break us either, Michelle." He said it with so much conviction that it proved to her that he meant it.

She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I didn't see it, but I wish I could have seen his dead body. I heard you yelling when he was trying to get away with me. I heard shots just before he knocked me out." Her voice turned cold, "I wish I could have seen him die."

Steve felt his heart sink, knowing his assumptions had been right. It had been that one that had raped and beat her, and he had let him get away. He pulled back from her, unable to look at her now, knowing he had to tell her. If she found out later it would be even worse.

"He isn't dead," he explained with a heavy heart. "He got away through a tunnel under the camp. We lost him."

Michelle scooted back away from him, "What?! What do mean? Sean said you cleaned house! He told me that!"

"Sean wasn't there with us. He was in another part of the compound. I'm sorry, I tried…"

"No!" she replied frantically, "You don't understand! He threated the girls, Elie and Ellen! He had pictures from my phone of the girls. He said he'd get to them too!"

His first reaction over that was shock and then anger, but as he processed it he knew more than anything it was a form of mental control to get her to talk. The threat wasn't real, but to her it was very real, only because she'd lived through it.

"It was a threat, nothing more," Steve said. "He can't even get out of the country, let alone make it to Hawaii. We have his passports, both of them."

Michelle stood up; her adrenaline overshadowed her pain as she began to pace back and forth in the confined area, shaking her head. "No! He meant it! What happened to me," she stopped and shuttered at the thought, "he said he'd do to them." She felt she might faint at just the idea of him being out there somewhere in the world, planning such an event.

Steve held her by the arms. "Listen to me! He can't hurt them. Do you think I'd let him get anywhere near my kids!"

"You let him get away!" she yelled.

Sean rolled over, the commotion waking him up.

Steve stared at her, hearing those words that were like a knife being shoved into his chest. He'd failed her again, "I didn't know then what he had done to you. If I had I would have gone into that tunnel myself and hunted him down like an animal and left him to die in there, but I didn't know then. You were hurt and I just wanted to get you out of there." The regret in his eyes should have explained to her his remorse over letting her down, but she couldn't see past her own fear.

"He's coming for us! He'll find them! He'll take them!"

She was hysterical. He'd never seen her this way before and knew there was only one thing that would calm the hysteria inside of her.

"Michelle!" he said gripping her by both arms, gently shaking her to get her attention. "I'll find him! I promise you, I'll find him!"

"Kill him, Steve," she replied, her voice stressing her hatred and the willingness for him to succeed in not just locating him but ending him. "I want you to find him and I want you to kill him!"

The woman looking back at him had turned into someone he didn't recognize. It sent a shiver through him over the coldness in her eyes, but he understood. His wife needed this from him. If this is what she wanted to make her feel safe and give her peace of mind then how could he refuse? He'd die for her, and now at this moment he knew he'd also kill for her.

"I'll find him…" he looked her dead on, "and I'll kill him, for you."

She nodded, acknowledging her belief in his words, hearing it loud and clear by not only the way in which he accepted her plea, but because he'd never, ever lied or broken a promise to her. She knew he'd do just that. He'd kill for her if that was what she wanted. She didn't even take a second to contemplate the gravity of it; she wanted it more than anything else he had ever promised her.

She put her arms around his body, laying her head on his shoulder. "I love you. Protect me. Protect our family."

He held her close, feeling a small redemption from the night before. He hadn't been able to fulfill her needs then, and in light of his guilt he felt this would prove to her that he was still her ally and hero no matter what came between them.

Sean stared at them, dumbfounded over what he'd just heard. It was exactly as he had predicted and what he had warned Steve of only hours before. He just never imagined it would escalate this quickly or become so gruesome to the point that Steve would go against everything he believed in to accommodate his wife's request. He understood the fear but it moved into a territory that he couldn't comprehend. But it was out of his hands. What he'd just heard, came from a man whom was desperately in love with his wife and would do anything to hold onto that bond with her that he had so proudly expressed earlier, even going as far as killing for it.


	8. Chapter 8

Michelle took Steve's arm this time as they descended the steps of the plane. Danny waited at the end of the tarmac, standing next to Steve's truck and his Camaro.

He hadn't seen a lot of Michelle once she'd been rescued. Steve had kept her wrapped up in blankets in the back of the SUV and when they made it back to the hotel she was in a separate room while Sean examined her. He and the others left the country not long after. That was Sunday night two days earlier. It was now Tuesday morning in Hawaii.

He watched as they slowly made there way over the short distance toward him, meeting them the last few steps. He could see the shaved head beneath the baseball cap but the black eyes and cuts and bruises on her face are what horrified him the most, but he kept his expression tame as he went up and kissed her cheek.

"Welcome home."

Michelle let go of Steve and hugged Danny as tightly as she could. "Thank you Danny. Thank you for everything." She returned the kiss, "I have no words for what all of you did for me, except that I'm forever in your debt."

"There's nothing to say," he assured her. "And there's no debt. It's what you do for family."

She looked at him as the endless flow of tears rose up once again. "You're a good man."

He shrugged her off, taking her elbow as he led her over to the open truck door. "Don't let that get out. I have a reputation to uphold you know."

Steve smiled hearing her chuckle over that, loving the sound of his wife's laugh, not sure when he would hear it again. It was like music to his ears. He put a hand on Danny's shoulder as he helped Michelle into the front seat. He closed the door as she adjusted her own seat belt. "Thanks for dropping the truck off Danny and thanks for arranging customs. I know Michelle wouldn't have wanted to go through the traditional way."

Danny nodded as an acceptance to his thank you. He'd spoken to the same man that had Steve locked up in the airport cell the day he was denied flight access. He explained the situation and had arranged for customs to meet them at the plane rather than have Michelle go inside. In light of the earlier incident and Steve's credentials, they had agreed to the request.

Sean came up to the group holding two duffel bags. He lifted Steve's over into the back of the truck but held onto his. He was headed back to San Diego right away.

He'd already said his goodbyes to Michelle on the plane as Steve spoke to the customs agent. He faced his friend as they forwent a handshake and embraced each other, not sure when they'd meet again.

"Thank you Sean," Steve said sincerely. "I couldn't have done it without you."

"Good luck, Buddy. Take care of yourself." They released and Sean leaned back, keeping a hand on his shoulder, as he looked him in the eye. "Remember what I said, ok? Don't lose yourself in this whole mess."

"I won't," Steve replied, but it was more as an appeasement to his friend. Sean didn't understand the circumstances and pressure he was under, not having been a husband he just couldn't comprehend the role and the duties that came with it. Steve did, and he took them to heart and beyond.

Sean smiled but didn't believe him for a minute. He knew good and well that Michelle's wish for revenge would come before anything else. He shook Danny's hand and was about to depart to the inside terminal when he held firm to it as Steve went around the other side to get in the truck.

"Hey," he whispered to Danny, "we need to talk." He motioned with his head toward Steve. "Not here, but soon."

Danny looked at him, getting the implication that all was not well and nodded his understanding. "You've got my number," he replied.

Steve got in the driver side and looked over at Michelle. He reached across the seat and took her hand. "I can't tell you how hard I prayed and begged for you to be brought home safe." He lifted her hand up to his lips, kissing the back of it. "I love you."

She squeezed his hand, feeling safe but didn't feel the same joy about being home that he did. She missed her girls desperately but couldn't bring herself to see them just yet. She looked too frightening.

"I think we should stop at the hospital on the way home and get you checked out," Steve said unexpectedly.

Michele's expression became horrified. "What? No!" she replied adamantly. "No! I want to go home."

"Just for precautions," he argued, still holding her hand.

She pulled away from him, "Think about what you're saying," she defended. "If I go in there looking like this they'll be questions that we'll have to answer. You work for the Governor; you don't think this will get out! People will know what happened." She shook her head, "I don't want anyone to know what happened over there."

"None of this was your fault, Michelle. You shouldn't be ashamed over…"

"No!" she practically screamed. "I'm not going to a hospital! I'm fine! Take me home." She cowered in her seat, speaking more subdued, "Please, Steve, just take me home."  
He regretted the suggestion but even more so he regretted arguing with her over it, wishing he'd just asked, got his answer and then dropped it.

"Ok, ok," he said passively. "We'll go home. I'm sorry." He reached over stroking her knee, "I'm sorry."

She didn't reply but nodded as she kept her head down, the brim of the hat covering most of her face as she stared at the floor. It made her angry that he didn't understand what he was asking of her. The humiliation of having to go over what had happened to her would be hard enough, but even the slightest chance that others would know would be crushing. It was hard enough to see the pity on her husband's face let alone on the strangers who would probably judge her and criticize her for even allowing herself to end up in that position. No one understood what she went through, no one except for her and the beast that did it to her. She wanted him dead. She wanted him to suffer at the hands of her husband, assured Steve would fulfill his promise to her.

She looked over at him as they merged onto the freeway toward home. "How are you going to find him?" she asked.

Steve glanced over at her for a just a second before diverting his eyes back to the road, knowing what she was asking. "I'll get in touch with people I know in Intelligence. I'll get his name out there and have his picture sent out to Homeland Security, incase he tries to enter the states."

"That's it?" she said, looking at him as if that was just the bare minimum.

He glanced over at her again, "It's a start, Michelle. He's gone into hiding; you know that as well as I do. It could be a couple of months before he resurfaces, but he will," he took in a deep breath anxious for that day, "and when he does, I'll be there waiting for him."

"And in the meantime what? We live in fear of him coming after the girls?"

"He's not going to come after the girls," Steve reassured her.

"How do you know that?"

"Because I know men like him. He used that threat against you to get you to talk. That's his job, to instill the worst kind of fear until you break and give him what he wants."

"I didn't break!" she shouted at him. "I didn't tell him anything! He didn't break me!"

Steve pulled over on the side of the road, hearing the anger and frustration in her voice. He reached over, putting a hand on her leg, trying to calm her. "I know that, Michelle. You don't have to tell me."

She pushed his had away angrily. "Don't patronize me, Steve. I'm not some weak-minded victim from a case you just picked up. I knew what my duty was and I knew what it meant if I talked. People would die on account of it. I never told them anything." She glared at him, "I never told them anything! Do you understand me?! Nothing! He didn't break me! He couldn't break me!"

He nodded as if telling her he did understand, but in that same moment he knew what she was trying so hard to convince him of was a lie. She was lying to him, he was sure of it. She had broke. Her anger and defensiveness was just too great. He'd seen it before on others but more than that, he knew his wife too well.

He didn't dare acknowledge that fact to her, letting her believe that he did too, but it left him in an uncompromising position. What she had said about people dying if she had given in might very well be true. He had to make the decision of how he would forward that information on to the right people without hurting or disrespecting his wife. His only hope at the moment would be that she confesses it, but he wasn't sure that would come soon enough.

' _How could she not break_ ,' he thought sadly, ' _she'd been through hell.'_ It hurt him to see her this way, adding another insult to the injury that was already eating away at her, at both of them.

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Michelle came in the house after Steve, looking around at the home where he had brought her after they were first married. They had so many wonderful memories in this place that is instantly brought a smile to her face, but it only lasted a moment as she passed a mirror that hung by the front closet, seeing her reflection.

He was surprised that Clair had been able to vacate the renters from the house so quickly, but was told that their accommodations were upgraded considerably to a three-bedroom condo right on Waikiki beach. They didn't put up much of a fuss over the inconvenience.

"Are you hungry?" Steve asked her, wondering if they even had food to eat. He opened up the fridge and was pleased to see that it was stocked well with foods that were a replica of their refrigerator at home.

"No," Michelle replied quietly forgetting about the good memories as her recent ones clouded her thoughts now. She made her way to the steps and began to go up as Steve stood at the base of them.

"I'll make something for later. Are you going to lay down for a while?"

"Yes," she replied in the same monotone voice.

He wondered where the smile had gone after they entered the house, witnessing another of her mood swings that was always just a step ahead of him. "Ok," he said to her as she reached the top and went toward the master bedroom. "If you need anything just yell. I'll bring up…" he heard the bedroom door close, cutting him off mid sentence, "something for you," he finished in a disheartened tone.

There was an eerie silence in the house that brought back the feeling of his bachelor days when he lived there alone. It was a silence he used to think was normal and what he wanted, until he married her, and then they brought the twins into their lives. The peace and quiet of his earlier days was never a factor again in his thoughts. He loved the noise and chaos of his family, missing his kids at that very moment, longing for that noise that had now become the norm.

The only sound he could hear was the shuffling of Michelle's feet across their bedroom floor and then the rushing of water as the shower came on. He belonged up there with her, not liking this separation, but it wasn't his choice. He needed to be patient and give her space. He needed to try and accommodate her the best he could and at the same time not step over that imaginary line, still trying to decide exactly where that was.

Michelle kept her back to the mirror in the bathroom as she slowly peeled her clothes off. She stepped inside the warm water and reached for the soap, lathering it up into a washcloth. She began to clean herself off, rubbing the soap over her arms and legs, but mainly between her legs, still feeling the remaining filth from her ordeal, wondering if she could ever clean herself enough to make it go away.

She stopped once the pain from scrubbing became too much, reaching for the hot water next until it became almost unbearable, standing under it until she couldn't feel anything anymore except for the heat that pounded on her skin, turning it red. The steam from the room poured out to the adjacent bedroom, fogging up the glass doors that led out to the lanai.

She felt like nothing, nobody, not identifying with this new person in her skin. She had no honor, knowing she had given up. She began to question whether or not she had even fought hard enough against the rape. How could she face her girls again knowing she was carrying this lie with her? She hated lying to Steve but felt she had no choice. He already looked at her differently, if he knew this too…

She shuttered at the thought. His whole life was based on honor and codes that he lived by. How could he be married to someone who had given up so easily? There were men that had been held in captivity for years that never broke, she couldn't even last four days. She was weak and had no idea how to live in this body that had come home.

Steve came up the stairs carrying a tray of soup and a sandwich for her. He could hear the shower still on, balancing the food with one hand as he opened the bedroom door. The heat that poured out astounded him. The room was filled with steam as it trickled down the glass doors.

He quickly set the tray down on the dresser, fearing she had passed out in the shower, but as he came in the bathroom he was even more shocked over the sight of her standing there in the thick fog letting the hot water pour over her.

"Jesus Michelle!" he yelled, reaching past her with one hand and turning the water off and pulling her out of harms way with his other hand. The small amount of water on his arm hurt, not knowing how or understanding why she would stand under it like she was.

He didn't ask as he practically carried her out of the shower and into the bedroom so he could get a clear look at her. Her naked body had blotches of red where the hot water had first come out and pelted her. It wasn't blistered yet but it looked alarming and painful to him.

He ran back in the bathroom and turned the sink on full blast with cold water, pulling down two heavy towels from the shelf above his head. He shoved them into the sink letting them soak up the moisture. He didn't bother to ring them out carrying the first one back to her as she sat on the bed now just staring at him as he came toward her, opening it up as it dripped on the floor, leaving a trail behind him.

She shuttered as he wrapped it around her shoulders, gently pressing it on her still hot skin, trying to cool her down. He went back in the bathroom grabbing the other one that was drenched and carried it to her, laying it over her legs.

He knelt down in front of her and did the same as her shoulders, pressing it on her skin, cooling her off. He looked up at her for the first time, needing an answer. "Why?" he asked, his voice shaky from the panic of trying to help her. "Why would you do that?"

She had no answer for him, not one that he would understand. The concern in his eyes over her well being was comforting, knowing that he loved her. What they had together before she left on that trip was like something out of a fairytale. She trusted it, she believed in it, but now her greatest fear wasn't living with herself, but living without him, not sure how or if they could ever go back.

She slid off of the bed coming to rest up against him as he reciprocated her move, pulling her close.

"Just hold me," she whimpered.

She felt like a child in his arms, frightening him even more than the shower. He could feel her tremble not sure if it was from the towels or the ordeal, using his body to shield her from either one.

"I love you," he whispered to her. "I love you so much." He felt her pull on his arms as if bringing him in closer which he did, telling himself again that they'd make it through this hell. They loved each other too much to fail.

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Clair knocked once before coming in the house. She looked around the slightly opened door, not knowing what to expect in the least. Steve had filled her in on some and had warned her of Michelle's appearance, not wanting her to gasp at the sight of her daughter when she did see her. Michelle's already frail state didn't need to be reminded by her mother of all people that she was battered looking.

Steve came out of the kitchen drying his hands on a towel. He smiled but it wasn't the same pleasing grin that she was used to seeing on her handsome son in law. He looked tired and his eyes expressed a sadness that made her all the more apprehensive about seeing Michelle.

"Hi," he said, tossing the towel to the side as he went toward her.

She forwent the normal verbal greeting and hugged him, "Thank you for keeping your promise and bringing my daughter home.

The warm embrace was surprisingly comforting to him. It had only been a short time but that daily physical ritual that had been a routine of his wife and kids was lacking in his life, and it was a lonely feeling to overcome. He returned the gesture to her; glad he had someone there to help him. "I'm glad you're here." He squeezed her once more before releasing her. "How are the girls?" he asked, missing his family unit already.

"They're ok, Danny's with them. They miss you and Michelle. I told them that you two were working on a special, secret assignment. Ellen was impressed and seemed to understand, but Elie," she sighed, "I think you need to see them as soon as possible. She's not as understanding as her sister. Sometimes I think she knows I'm lying."

"I'm sorry to put you through this, Clair."

"It's not about me." She glided her hands up and down his arms in a tender motion. "How are you holding up honey?"

"I'm fine," his voice however proved otherwise. He stepped back and diverted his eyes away from her. "Michelle's not doing so well though." The earlier incident in the shower proved how unstable she was. He hoped that maybe having her Mother's presence might help the situation, wishing at that moment he had his Father. "You should go up and see her. Talk to her."

Clair looked up toward the stairs, "Is she in the bedroom?"

Steve nodded, forewarning her of what she was about to step into. "She doesn't look good." There's nothing broken but there are bruises and cuts. They cut her hair." He let out a deep painful breath, knowing it was going to be shocking to see her, no matter how much he tried to warn her. The marks from the hot shower had disappeared, but they would have been just a smidgen compared to the others. "She doesn't look good. You'll know why we decided to keep her from the girls." He wanted to tell her about the rape but was afraid of breaking that confidentiality with Michelle, knowing how defensively she reacted before over anyone finding out. "Just talk to her."

She nodded, swallowing down the painful dryness in her throat over his words, knowing it was going to be a lot worse than she had imagined.

She made her way up the steps, encouraging herself to be strong for her daughter. She felt she had never fully been there for her growing up, feeling she had lacked in the parenting department, trying more to be her friend rather than her Mother. The results had backfired, but now as they both grew older and wiser the chance to redeem that was never more critical than it was at this moment. She needed her Mother to come through that door, not a friend.

She knocked once before opening it up and going inside. She saw her lying on the bed, covered with a quilt, facing the lanai. The sight of her shaved head startled her but soon realized that was going to be the least of her worries.

"Michelle," she asked quietly, not wanting to wake her if she were asleep. She came inside just as her daughter rolled over and faced her.

She gasped at the sight of her, not able to hold back her reaction. She thought she was somewhat prepared for the wounds, but it was a far cry from what she had ever witnessed before on someone she loved.

"Oh my sweet little girl," she whispered, going to the edge of the bed.

Michelle pushed herself up and never felt the need for her mother as much as she did at that second. She didn't know if it was the little girl in her that needed that motherly embrace or if it was the fact that she was another woman that would understand the pain and humility she felt from the dirty secret she was holding in. Maybe it was a little of both, but she didn't care which it was either, all she knew was that she needed this person desperately.

"Mom." She barely got the words out before she broke down, covering her face with her hand.

Clair scooted over onto the bed, putting her arms around her. She lay back against the headboard, taking Michelle with her, cradling her daughter as she sobbed. She tried to stay strong for her but lost that battle. The pain in her child's tears was far too excruciating to overcome. She laid her cheek on the top of her head and rocked her back and forth like she used to when she was a baby, crying with her.

Steve stepped out the back door, practically stumbling down the steps, grabbing the handrail to catch his balance. He couldn't stand to hear the sounds coming from the upstairs bedroom as he made his way down to the beach and away from the house. He kept walking forward, entering the water, not stopping as he mindlessly walked out until he finally dove in fully dressed and began to swim as hard and as fast as he could.

He pushed himself until he became so exhausted that the breathes he was getting between strokes wasn't cutting it, taking in a mouth full of salt water and choking on it. He treaded water as he coughed it up, taking in a couple of deep breathes before turning around, shocked at the distance he had covered in that short of time. The house was barely visible on the horizon.

He stared at it almost afraid to go back. He would never, for as long as he lived ever get used to that sound he was running from, or be able to become immune to it. But he also knew he couldn't run away from it either. This was one of those moments where he had to fight through it and accept what had happened to their perfect little world and find a way to put everything back together. Swimming out into the ocean and feeling sorry for himself wasn't the answer.

He put his face back down into the water and began the swim back to shore. It wasn't as persistent as the swim out, but calmer, wishing somehow it would have brought him some kind of clarification of how he should handle his life, but it did nothing but wear him out. Once back to shore he realized he was right back where he started, the only thing different was that he was more tired than he was when he left.

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Clair slowly got up from the bed, taking her time as not to wake up her sleeping daughter. They had talked for over two hours as Michelle broke down and told her everything she had gone through.

Clair looked down at her, pulling the quilt back up over her battered body as her tears fell freely, agonizing over what she had heard. It was the most horrific thing she could have imagined, wishing too that the man who had abused her were dead and rotting somewhere in the Iraqi desert. She never agreed with the saying 'an eye for an eye', but in this instance she hoped that Steve fulfilled his word and would find him and punish him. She wanted him dead for what he had done to Michelle and what he had done to the family. Her daughter was only a shell of what she was before she left, understanding more clearly now the devastation that hovered around her husband. He was good at putting up a strong front, but this was too much for even him to hide.

She came down the stairs holding several tissues in her hand, seeing him sitting on the coffee table, as if he were waiting for her. His clothes were almost dry by then and the evidence of his less than spiritual swim, gone. That devastation she had thought she had witnessed earlier was so clearly visible now that it made her shed new tears for him.

"Did you talk to her?" he asked hopeful, knowing the time frame they had spent together up there, wondering if Michelle had told her of the rape, and hoping that Clair could shed some light on how he was supposed to take care of her, fearing he was just making one mistake after another.

"Yes," she replied hoarsely, "she told me every…" she paused, catching her breath between gasps of air as her eyes flooded and new tears spilled out, "she told me everything." She put the tissue up to her eyes, wiping away the moisture.

He knew what she meant by 'everything', relieved that he had someone to talk to about it, but even so, the subject of that conversation was not one that he wanted to ever have.

"What should I do?" he asked. "What does she need? Did she tell you?" he held his hands open, "I'm afraid I'm not doing enough, or I'm doing too much. Tell me what she needs from me." Hearing those words come out of his own mouth sounded even worse than the terrible dilemma he was in. He never dreamt he would ever have to be told how to take care of Michelle. He had spent the last five years of his life mastering that skill, and in the last forty-eight hours everything he knew had vanished. He felt ashamed that he had to rely on someone else's advice on how to care for his wife.

The torment he was going through was just as devastating as the one she had witnesses upstairs, watching as his head dropped and his hands came up to his face, sliding down it as if he were trying to wipe away the painful emotions that were taking over. She stood in front of him and put a hand on his bent head, letting him know he wasn't alone. She could feel his body begin to tremble beneath her touch. "It's ok to feel what you're feeling, honey," she said to him, "she's your wife and you love her. That's what she needs." She glided her hand soothingly over his back, "You just rely on that love you and Michelle have and everything will work out."

It was precisely what he'd been telling himself over and over and almost the exact same words that Sean had said to him. Everyone around them recognized it. He had to start truly believing it and not just thinking it, hoping that Michelle believed in it too.

He knew at the moment she was afraid. How could she not be? She was coming home as a different person than who she was when she left. He could still see his wife amongst the turmoil but it was her actions that he didn't recognize, afraid the next stunt might not end up as harmless as the shower incident had.

He looked up at her, "Do you think she needs to see someone?"

Clair sat down on the table next to him. "Yes, but she won't go to a doctor. I'm going to see about having someone come here and examine her." She sniffed, wiping her nose with a tissue. "I had to convince her that it was the right thing to do." She glanced over at him uneasily, "In the end it came down to you and she being together. She didn't want to pass anything along to you if she had contracted something during the…" she stopped there, not able to even say the word. "When I mentioned that to her, she agreed to see someone."

He was glad for that, not for himself, but for Michelle's safety. But what Clair was discussing with him wasn't the type of help he was referring to when he mentioned 'seeing someone' to her. "I wanted her to go see a doctor but she refused. I was concerned about her, but I didn't want to push her. I'm glad you convinced her." He stood up and went to the base of the stairs, looking up toward their room. "What do think about her mental stability?" He looked back at her, wanting to catch her initial reaction over that.

She sighed heavily, shaking her head. "I don't know, Steve. I can tell you right now, she won't go. I'm with you that I don't want to push her. The physical treatment I think is vital to her heath and well being right now, but the other…" she was torn as he was. "It's not something we can force on her. You know how strong headed she is. I'm afraid if we try and force it on her too soon it will only make her more determined not to reach out. You know what I mean?"

He nodded, looking back up the stairs. "She's so sad," he replied somberly. "I know it's going to take time for her to heal inside and out, but it's the sadness that I see in her eyes that scares me. I don't know how to make it go away." He felt that familiar ache rise up again over not being able to care for her in the way that he knew. In the past he could always make her smile, even during heated arguments, saying something off the wall to make her laugh or kissing her to break up a fight, which always made her smile even when she was furious with him.

"Time heals all wounds," Clair reminded him, not knowing what else to tell him. She felt sorry for him; not wanting to tell him that Michelle confessed to her that she was confused over their relationship. He looked at her differently now. She was sure that he always would. Clair tried to assure her that it wasn't true, that Steve was just worried about her, but it did little to sway her. That's when Clair brought up the other doctor, suggesting that perhaps talking to someone about what happened could ease some of those thoughts she had. Michelle's reaction was defensive, becoming angry that her mother was giving off the idea that it was her fault and not Steve's. Clair quickly recanted the suggestion, claiming it was no ones fault.

She looked at him now as he stared up the steps, hoping and praying that they could overcome this difficult hurdle that had landed in their marriage. She couldn't imagine how either one of them could ever live without the other.

"Steve," she said to him as he turned to her. "Michelle loves you very much. You know that don't you?"

"Yes." He wasn't sure what she meant by that.

"She does. I know she loves you so much," she said again as if she were reassuring him of it.

That's exactly the way he took it too, stunned over the idea that maybe Michelle had questioned her relationship with him during their talk. For the first time in his marriage he felt an unsettling presence that threatened the foundation that held them together, the love and respect they had for each other. He didn't dare ask Clair any more questions of what she and Michelle talked about, afraid of what he might hear.

She was scared was all, he told himself. She was afraid because he had failed to give her peace of mind. He needed to take out the threat that was present in her mind. He needed to find this Taylor Ward or whoever he was and give his wife peace of mind.

He was convinced that was the unsettling presence that threatened his marriage.


	9. Chapter 9

Steve closed the dryer door and turned it on. He came out of the laundry room and checked his watch, seeing that it was only eight fifteen, too early for bed. He pictured the girls sitting on the sofa at home, watching a movie or up in their rooms playing with the abundance of toys they had. He missed them terribly, never having been away from them for this long before. He missed reading to them before bed and tucking them in under the covers, or hearing about the adventurous day of two four year olds that never ceased to amaze him.

He looked around the empty family room, once again hating the silence that absorbed his present situation. It was their second day home. Michelle spent the most of the time sleeping, or lying in bed pretending to sleep. He wasn't sure of either one, and when she was awake the conversation was always at a minimal. He missed her as well, even though she was just upstairs.

He was glad in a way for the quiet day, compared to the previous one that was full of tears during Clair's visit. The night hadn't gone any better. He had stood at the bedroom door for a long time just watching her sleep, thinking about all the plans they had made together the night before she had left on her trip. It had been one of the most pleasurable times he'd spent with her.

They had been in that second honeymoon stage of their marriage when most couples experience the seven year itch, whereas he and Michelle were still completely enamored of each other. He still felt it today, but was quit certain she wasn't there anymore. There was too much in the way. He felt so blessed to just be able to stand where he was and see her that the joy from that spilled over into the love-struck feelings he had for her, but nonetheless it was also hard to feel it knowing the one he loved was in pain.

He didn't have a solution for it, but did have the will and the love that was needed to work through it, wanting her to know that as he walked toward the bed and carefully laid down next to her.

Michelle tried to fight off the tense feelings that erupted in her as he moved up against her back and put his arms around her. She knew he meant well, but inside all she felt was resentment, wishing it would go away, but it was very much alive and present. She couldn't understand how she could love him so much and at the same time wishing he'd take his hands off of her and go away. She didn't want him there but telling him that would be nothing short of cruel. It wasn't his fault. She felt she was on the border of heaven and hell; Steve was her angel, while the devil that had slithered into her life was still very much present. He made her feel weak and angry, knowing that even though she hadn't given up information, inside he had broken her. She had to live with this knew body that had been polluted by his. She had to adapt to a new life that she feared would always have him hovering close by. Time was the cure to heal all wounds, she told herself, but all she felt as time crept by was more and more estranged from the person she used to be.

She heard Steve's words of love whispered in her ear but instead of feeling that wonderful euphoric rush, she felt a cold shiver run through her. They meant nothing to her, and that scared her more than anything else. She waited until he was asleep before she moved away, still not sure why she felt the need to, but it was comforting not to be touched.

He stood at the bottom of the steps and looked up toward the bedroom. He'd woken up that morning with her on the other side of the bed, it wasn't an uncommon happening, but the way she huddled on the edge with the blankets wrapped tightly around her body, it more as a defensive move, as if she didn't want him near her. He struggled with that thought most of the day, seeing it in two ways; one, not wanting to admit that was what actually happened, so instead he chose to see it as nothing more than her finding a position that would make her more comfortable while healing. The other was he blamed Taylor Ward, and himself for letting him get away. She needed that closure to find her way back to him.

He walked over to the coffee table and opened his laptop back up. While Michelle stayed upstairs, he spent the majority of his day searching for the culprit, calling on favors and promising new ones for any kind of help he could get, but it was as if the parasite had crawled right back into the sewer and disappeared. He hadn't left Iraq, or at least he hadn't by way of the names on the Passports they had found. He tried to do a background search on the American name but it turned out to be a dead end, litterly. The name Taylor Ward belonged to an eighteen-year-old kid from Kansas City, Kansas who was killed in a car crash the night of his high school graduation. Five years later and no one suspected a thing that a group of identity thieves had sold the information to a terrorist group after bringing him back to life on paper. The man he was seeking turned into a ghost. The only lead he had was computer files that Kruska was able to obtain from US military border crossings during the occupation of Iraq, sending him files of the passports that were used at the borders as well as the airports. Steve spent hours looking at pictures, hoping that in one of them, he'd recognize the man that had tortured and was still torturing his wife. All he needed was a lead.

He saw headlights flash in the front window, seeing Danny's car as he was getting out. He went to the front door and stepped outside, not wanting to disturb Michelle.

"Hey," he said to him as they greeted each other just off the cement slab that was the front porch.

"I thought I'd come by and see how you were doing?" Danny said to him.

"We're doing alright. Michelle's asleep right now." He pulled out one of the two chairs that were adjacent to a small table behind some overgrown jasmine bushes. They hid the far side of the porch from the street, making it seem more private than it actually was. "Do you want a beer?"

Danny took the other chair. "No. I can't stay long. I have to pick up Gracie from cheer practice."

"Clair said you were with the kids. How are they doing? How do they look? Do they seem happy? Are they scared?"

Danny grinned over the bombardment of questions, knowing he missed them. He could relate to that feeling. "Relax, they're ok. They asked me where you guys were and when you were coming home? I told them the Governor needed both you and Michelle's help on a really, really important case."

"Did Elie believe that? Clair said she's not buying into it all."

He could hear the fatherly concern in his tone. He didn't want to give him any more reason to worry about the kids, knowing he had enough on his mind. "She's ok Steve. They both are. We played some games and I took them to Malasadas for donuts. We came back and went for a swim and then I stayed until they went to bed."

Steve sat back in the chair, feeling jealous over his time with them. "Did you tuck them in?"

"No, Clair did. Why? Should I have?"

"No," Steve smiled. He was glad Danny was there, but was also glad that he hadn't intruded on that event he held as his own special time with them. It was bad enough that Danny was getting to do all the other things that he couldn't.

"How long are you two going to hold up here?"

Steve shrugged, "I don't know, a week maybe. By then most of the bruises will be gone."

"What about her hair?"

He shrugged again. "We'll find something to tell them. They're four, they'll probably forget all about this time."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"How long do you think it will be before you can move on and forget about revenge?"

Steve sat up in his chair, crossing his arms defensively "When that piece of shit is staring back at me with dead eyes. I want him to look in my face and see that its me that's taking his life."

Danny thought he understood the need for some kind of retaliation from Steve, but the bitterness and vehement words were right up the alley that Sean had described. "Jesus Steve, are you seriously planning on going after this guy?"

"What do you think?"

"I think you need to be here for your family and not trekking all over the world trying to find him."

"Michelle needs the security of having him gone. He threatened the girls. He told her he'd come after them. She's scared. I don't want my wife to have any fear, ever."

"You know as well as I do that the threat came so she would talk. You don't really think he would take the effort to come here? Do you?" he asked as if maybe Steve was thinking as irrationally as Michelle.

"My wife is scared Danny. This man took her freedom; he took her identity. He tortured and raped my wife and he threatened my daughters. I'm going to find him and I'm going to tear his fucking throat out. I don't give a shit if he ever has any intension of coming to Hawaii. He doesn't have to. I'm going to him."

It was the first he heard of the rape from Steve, but had discussed it with a tearful Clair. He saw the hatred in Steve's eyes, knowing if he tried to sway him from this act of revenge that it would do nothing but cause a riff between them. Steve was in a troubled state right now and arguing with him wasn't the answer. "How? How are you going to accomplish this?"

"I've put the word out to some people. I've been going through files of pictures, looking for him. I don't know his real name yet, but I'll get it. He's ex military, or a wanna be. He can't hide forever. I've found more elusive and dangerous people than him. I'll find him," he said confidently.

"And then you'll tear his fucking throat out and come home and tuck your girls into bed." He couldn't help but throw that in there, knowing it was a form of sarcasm.

Steve knew what he was doing but refused to take the bait. "Yes, and I'll kiss my wife and tell her she's safe as I put the wedding ring back on her finger that he stole, and then I'll got to bed and sleep like a baby."

Danny had no intention of going any further with that subject. "How is Michelle?" He watched as Steve's posture relaxed. He un-crossed his arms and wiped his hands over his face.

"She sleeps a lot. I think. I'm not sure if she's sleeping or if she just wants to be left alone." He didn't want to tell him about the shower incident, not wanting Danny to have a judgmental opinion on her mental recovery. "Clair arranged for a doctor to come over tomorrow and examine her."

"I thought Sean examined her and said she was ok, except for the bruising?" His tone carried with it worry over her condition that might have changed.

"He did," Steve said, looking down at his hands in his lap. "It's a gynecologist that's coming to examine her." He glanced up at him, hoping he got the clue, which he did.

"Oh," Danny replied somberly. "That's good…I guess." He didn't know how to reply to that, wishing he had just nodded his understanding.

"She wanted me to make love to her that first night after we found her," Steve blurted out as he stared down at his hands again. "I couldn't do it," he confessed, looking up at him, "not that I didn't want her. I love her," he quickly reminded him, focusing back on his lap as if he were ashamed. "I just couldn't do it. I hurt her for saying no, but it wasn't going to happen. You know what I mean?" he asked, hoping for some kind of justification from another guy.

Danny never expected something so personal to come from him, knowing that it must be weighing heavy on him, assured he was witnessing another of the concerns from Sean. "You can't blame yourself for that. Seriously Steve, you can't. This situation you're in is beyond what any couple should go through. This isn't going to heal overnight and you can't spend that healing time beating yourself up for stuff that is beyond your control. There's no way any guy could have done what she was asking. No decent guy at least."

That response gave him some relief, feeling a part of the weight on his shoulders being lifted. "Thanks Danny. I think that's what I needed to hear."

"Don't put so much pressure on yourself. I know you think just because you're the man of the house that you have to carry the burden for everyone, but that burden can get heavy really quick." He pointed at him; "I'm telling you right now you're not that strong. And I know Michelle is going through a hard time right now, and I'm no psychologist, but I think she too is carrying a heavy burden that needs to be lifted. The one thing I admire the most about the two of you is your ability to communicate. Don't loose that now when you need it the most."

Steve heard him loud and clear, but only took his suggestion about himself to a minimal, but the one about Michelle he took to heart. "I think you're right about Michelle." He glanced over toward the house just to be sure they were alone. "I think she might have…" he hesitated, but even with his earlier confession, he knew he could trust Danny, "I think she might have given up information to them under the abuse she was receiving, especially after they threatened the kids."

Danny sat back letting out sympathetic sigh. He knew Michelle's personality was just as strong and loyal as her husband's. If that were true, he was pretty certain in her eyes it would be just as devastating to overcome as the rape. "Has she told you that?"

Steve shook his head somberly, "No, but I can tell by how defensive she gets when its brought up."

"Don't let it fester, you need to clean that wound." He looked at his phone as it buzzed, seeing Gracie's text that she was ready. He held his phone up. "I gotta run. She's sitting at the high school alone."

Steve stood up with him. "Thanks for coming by Danny." He meant it sincerely, already feeling a little better and knew he was right too about Michelle. He needed to pull it out of her and let her know there was no shame in it.

"Call me if you need anything. I'll stop by and check on the girls after work tomorrow."

"Thanks Buddy." Steve smiled as he walked away, "By chance if you tuck them in," he yelled to him, "they like to be literally tucked in, all around their body."

Danny laughed and waved with a hand that he understood.

He waited until he was gone before he came back in the house.

As he closed the front door he saw Michelle coming down the steps, touching each one like a three year old would do. The scabs on her back from the wooden table were healing but causing her discomfort. Every step she took reminded her of how she got them.

"Hey, I didn't hear you get up. Did you call for me and I didn't hear you?"

"No," she took his extended hand for the last step. "I just had to get up and move."

"Are you hungry? Your mom brought over some lasagna."

"I could eat something."

He liked the sound of that, walking slowly with her to the kitchen, still holding her hand. "Do you want some aspirin?"

"No." She let go of his hand and went toward the fridge, forgoing the chair he pulled out for her. "I can make it myself."

"Why don't you just sit down and let me do it."

"I said I came down because I have to move. If I sit then I'm not moving," Her tone had a hint of annoyance in that last sentence.

He took the seat instead, watching her as she moved about. It seemed like every motion was painful and strenuous. He witnessed that stubbornness that he used to find appealing, but at the moment it was slightly annoying. He wanted to help, but ever since she had got back all he did was feel helpless.

Michelle scooped up a small amount of lasagna into a bowl and put it in the microwave. She could see his reflection in the glass door sitting at the table behind her as he watched her, wishing he wouldn't do that. She used to like it when she would catch him admiring her. She especially liked the way he looked at her. It made her feel desirable and sexy, but his expression now was not the flattering one she remembered, it was more sympathetic, which made her feel neither sexy, nor desirable. She wished now she had put on sweats to cover up her bruised legs and put the baseball cap back on to cover her shaved head, feeling more masculine then feminine, wishing for the first time since knowing him that he'd stop looking at her.

He couldn't help but think how brave she was as he watched her, hoping she felt it too. She was the strongest woman he'd ever met and everyday he felt blessed to have her in his life, no more so than over the course of the last week. He admired her now more than he ever had. She was an inspiration and he couldn't have asked for a better role model for his daughters, hoping they'd take on her characteristics, knowing they would become better people because of it.

He knew her better than anyone in his life, and also knew the woman standing in front of him was confused, scared and angry. She was holding back things from him that she didn't have to. Things he wanted to know and some things he didn't want to hear, but it wasn't about him, it was about allowing his wife the chance to be heard and find that place she could feel safe and secure in. Didn't she know she could trust him more than anyone in the world? He didn't care that she might have told them about the contracts or maybe other things that he didn't even know about. It didn't matter to him; in his eyes she would always be the heroic woman that came down the hill that night in the dark and saved his life. He wanted her to know that he knew she had reached her breaking point and that it was ok, they all had one, but he couldn't say that. She had to tell him first. He didn't want her to feel he was accusing her of anything, knowing if the tables were turned he might feel threatened if asked a question of that nature. He had to ease it out of her, and let her know there was no dishonor in it. She had to get past it or it would eat at her for the rest of her life.

"I want to talk about what happened."

He saw her body tense up, expecting that.

"Why?" she asked in a frigid tone with her back still to him.

"I just think it would be good if we could talk about it. I think it would be good for you. "

"Good for me? Good for me?!" She turned her head just slightly, "How would talking about the worst time of my life be good for me?" She couldn't believe he was asking this of her. He was the last person she wanted to tell all the gory details too.

"Holding in all that anger isn't going to help either. You can talk to me. You know you can. You even told me that night on the phone that the one thing about our relationship that you love the most is being able to open up to me and trust me. Whatever happened in those last few days when you were there, it's ok. You were strong and held firm…" he hesitated but wanted to put it out there and give her the opportunity to talk to him, "but if you did falter and hit that breaking point that every person has, you have to know that there's no dishonor in that."

Her anger over his persistence took over. He wanted her to confess her failure and how she had broke under the pressure. How dare he ask something so bold and so callous? He of all people should know the personal disgrace that would bring upon her if that would get out. She was innocent of any wrong doing as far as releasing information that could harm others, but as far as her own self loyalty was concerned, she was a failure.

She wanted him to shut him up about this subject that she didn't want to discuss with him, or anyone else and knew precisely how to shut him up. She turned around and faced him, bracing her hands on the counter behind her. "You want to talk?" she said angrily, "Fine! Let's talk! What do you want to know, huh?! How about we talk about how he dragged me across the floor by my hair with my hands tied behind my back," she yelled, "and then lifted me up and threw me on a table!" She gripped the counter tightly with both hands, "Or let's talk about how I tried to kick him and then he punched me so hard that I almost blacked out but I was still conscious enough to feel him pulling my jeans off and spreading my legs as he forced himself inside of me!"

Her attack on him was the least of his pain, seeing her lash out with so much anger was heartbreaking, but hearing her nightmare laid out so brutally and having to visualize someone he loved so much going through it was like a thousand knives being stabbed into his heart. He couldn't catch his breath, his body reacting to the emotions that engulfed him not allowing him to subdue this type of anguish, realizing then that even though she was standing five feet from him the woman he knew as his wife was no where to be seen.

"Or perhaps Steve," she continued, caught up in her own rage, "you'd like to hear how I knelt down naked in front of him as he cut off all my hair!" The anger she felt brought tears to her eyes, "Do you want to talk some more or is that enough for now?! Because I can go on about the other time he raped me! Do you want to talk about that too, Steve?!"

"Stop it," he said barely able to get the words out, feeling sick inside over what she was saying but more so over the cold and insensitive way in which she was saying it. She was attacking him again only this time she purposely produced images of the scene. She wanted to hurt him.

Her anger was so furious and blind that she never focused on him and saw the damage of her rant until it was too late. She saw the exact reaction she had been working for in the expression on her husband as he stared back her. She wanted him to stop pushing her, but in her attempt she felt she might have pushed him too far.

"You think this is easy for me?" he said, feeling tears of betrayal; his own anger and frustration taking over "Do you think any of this fucking nightmare is easy for me?!" he yelled, hitting his chest. "I'm trying to help you!"

"I don't want your help!" she yelled back, pushing off the counter as she ignored the pain and hurriedly walked toward the stairs. "And I don't want you to look at me with that condescending fucking pity in your eyes either!"

He stood up as she went to go past him, "I don't pity you!"

"I asked you for help that first night and saw the way you looked at me! If that's your way of helping me then don't!"

It was a low blow that hit him particularly hard. He'd been agonizing over that since it had happened and hearing her bring it up was like pouring salt in the wound. "Do you feel better now?" he said of the offensive remark. "Did it make you feel good to say that and all the other things you said as well?"

"You're pushing me," she fired back.

"And you're deliberately trying to hurt me. I'm looking at you and I don't know who you are. It's as if you crawled inside yourself and someone else is playing your role."

"I'm doing the best I can Steve! I'm hanging on by a thread. I don't know what you want from me right now, but whatever it is, let it go! You wanting me to talk about what happened makes me wonder who you are!"

"Did you tell them about the contracts?" he blurted out, needing to know just what he had to deal with. "Or anything else? You need to tell me Michelle."

"Got to hell," she growled, walking past him.

"You think this is going to go away? Do you think I'm the last one that's going to ask you that question? I'm trying to protect you."

She stood on the bottom step of the stairs, "Then find the person that put us in this mess. Find him like you promised me you would."

"I'm working on it,"

"No Steve, it seems the only thing you're doing is working me." She started up the steps, "You sound like Naval Intelligence. Is this how you used to go at people during a debriefing after they came home? I thought maybe you'd give me the benefit of the doubt, being your wife and all."

She stood at the top, bracing her hand on the railing for stability, looking down at him. "Since you're so GI Joe about getting your answer, it's no. I didn't tell them anything. I was going to though. I was afraid. I was afraid for my kids. He might have been using them as a threat to get to me, but you know what? It worked. I was going to tell him everything he wanted to hear, because I was beaten, I was in pain, but more than anything else, I was afraid. He broke me just like he said he would." Her voice shuttered but she stood firm, "Now you know everything. Congratulations Commander, job well done."

He'd got her to confess what he needed to hear, but in the process he'd lost something that was more important to him than the truth, her respect. The gap he felt between them was growing with every confrontation they faced. They weren't working through this situation together; they were working against each other.

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Steve closed the file on his laptop, not able to concentrate anymore on the images of the thousands of people he'd been scanning over for the past two hours since the last confrontation with Michelle. He felt now more than ever that he had to find this person, but the reasons had shifted a degree in his efforts. He needed to do this for himself just as much as for Michelle. He didn't blame her for the things she said to him or the way in which they were described. She said it because it was a reality that had taken place, even if he didn't want to hear or visualize it, it was real and it had happened. He had forced it out of her, cringing over the way he had pushed her, at the time assuming he was doing the right thing, but now that he knew the truth, he should have trusted his wife. She told him things he didn't need to hear, and knew she didn't want to tell him. But it was out there now, and all the information he had gathered did was damage their relationship that was already trying to overcome so many other obstacles.

His screensaver on his computer came up sharing a picture of Ellen and Elie as they sat in bed with him that past Father's Day and watched him eat the breakfast they had made. He missed them terribly; but never so much as he did at that minute. He needed that unwavering love that they bestowed upon him. He needed to feel it.

He closed the laptop and set it on the coffee table, glancing up toward the stairs as he scooped his keys up. She wouldn't even miss him, he was sure of it.

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Clair heard the front door unlocking as she came down the hallway from the family room; phone in hand, not expecting anyone who had keys to the house. Her heart pounded until she saw Steve come in. She let out a sigh of relief and smiled. "God, you scared me."

"Sorry," he replied, quietly closing the door behind him, knowing by that time the kids would already be in bed.

"Is everything ok?" she asked nervously.

"Yes. Everything's fine," he assured her. "Michelle's asleep back at the house. I just want to see the girls."

Clair smiled, "They'll be so excited."

"I don't want to wake them up. I can't stay long. I think it would be worse if they knew I was here and then left again. I just want to see them."

Clair nodded her understanding, knowing he was probably right. "They've been asleep for about two hours."

"Ok, thanks."

He went up and down the hall, feeling a sharp pain in his chest over the sight of he and Michelle's room. He looked away, focusing on the task at hand that he was sure would make that pain go away.

Their door was slightly ajar as he carefully opened it. The nightlight that was plugged into the wall on the far side of the room was just enough to give him a visual of the two of them. Elie lay on her side facing him with her doll Susie safely tucked under her chin, while Ellen lay on her back, arms out, softly snoring. His face lit up over the sight of them, taking a second trying to decide who to go to first, wanting to pick both of them up at the same time and just squeeze them.

He chose Elie first, kneeling down next to her bed and staring at the beautiful little girl that he and Michelle had created. He had to refrain from touching her, knowing what a light sleeper she was. He thought about the time she came in his room that first night after Michelle had left and sat on his lap as they talked. She was a twin and his love for both of them was equal, but Elie would always hold a special place in his heart, only because of the compassion she had for people. It was astounding the way she could sense unhappiness in a person and without even realizing her own ability to heal, she could make them feel better. She had mastered it at the age of four. He respected her more than he did most people his own age. She was going to do wonderful things with that compassion in her life, he just knew it.

He couldn't hold back anymore and reached over, touching a piece of her long dark hair that hung over her cheek, moving it out of the way. It was his only attempt knowing if he touched her hand or back she would wake up. He stayed with her until he got his fill, rising back up but not before kissing her dolls raggedy hand, feeling it was equal to her pretended Mother's hand.

He made his way over to Ellen next, smiling at the display that was completely the opposite of her dainty twin. She laid on her back with one arm lying over her face while the other one hung off the side of the bed. Her covers kicked off down to her knees.

He had no worries about waking her, knowing she slept like a rock. He took her little hand and moved her arm off of her face and then took the other hand that was hanging over the side of the bed and kissed it before he laid it across her chest. He pulled the covers up to her waist as he sat there and just stared at her as well.

They were identical, but being their father, he could tell them apart. He tilted his head in surprise, getting a view of her that made him smile. He'd always been so sure that they both looked like Michelle that for the first time he actually saw himself in Ellen's facial features. Maybe it was from being away from them that made him notice, he didn't know and he didn't care, it felt good. She was his little tomboy, always ready and willing to do something adventurous. He loved that about her. As she grew older there were so many things he wanted to show her and teach her, knowing she would always be eager to learn them too.

He stood in the middle of the room, soaking them in one last time before he left, not sure when he'd see them again. He thought of Michelle's fear over the threats against them, and for the first time he got a glimpse of what she must have gone through. He felt a wave of panic sweep over him imagining someone taking them away or hurting them in the way she had been. Tears instantly stung his eyes, more so over the agony he would endure over something so heinous. He understood now why she had reached her breaking point. He knew then if he were faced with it, he would have got down on his knees and begged them to hear whatever he had to say.

He covered his face with his hands and slowly slid them down, wiping away the moisture as he did. He had doubted her, even mocked her fear by playing it down as nothing more than a threat, but at what cost? While he was trying to convince her otherwise, all she was doing was protecting her family, no matter how miniscule the threat, it was had been offered up. It was up to him to put an end to it.

He came out of the girl's room and went into he and Michelle's.

He stood at the open door of their large walk-in closet and scanned the upper shelves. He saw it on the top one and reached up, using his fingertips to maneuver out the bottom of the box. It tilted down and he caught it as it fell.

He set it on the bed and lifted the top off. Inside, amongst his honorable discharge paperwork releasing him from the Navy were his old Naval Credentials, his ID badge, his Navy Passport and his Naval Intelligence security clearance passbook. He took all three plus a small black phone book that contained numbers he used often in his Naval days. He put the top back on and set the box on the floor in the back of the closet.

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"I need this, John."

"Steve, do you have any idea what you are asking me to do?"

"Yes, but if it wasn't gravely important you know I wouldn't be asking."

"Jesus, what happened in your life that you feel after nine years that you need to re-enlist in the Navy?"

"I just do, and I need it expedited and I need all my security and credentials re-instated to original status."

"I don't think that will be a problem. You know your name and strategy skills still come up in meetings? They'll be pissing all over themselves to have you back. You'll have to report to duty at Pearl first thing."

"I understand. I also want to lead up the investigation of the civilian border kidnappings that have been taking place along the Jordanian and Iraq borders. I have some information that could lead to some terrorist arrests."

"I'll talk to Admiral Blake. I think he'd be the one that could get you on the team."

"I don't want to be on the team," Steve said. "I want to lead it. If they want me back, then that's the terms."

John sighed into the phone. "You want to tell me what the hell happened?"

"Just get me back in, John, that's all you need to know."

He sighed heavily into the phone. "Ok, let me make some calls. I don't think the people I'll be calling will be too terribly upset by being woken up to this news."

Steve closed his eyes, relieved over hearing that, "Thanks, John. I'll wait for your call."

He hung up and looked out the windshield of his truck at the house. His eyes diverting up to the second level where Michelle slept. It was going to be a life-altering event that he just signed up for, but he needed it in order to get into places and utilize the system to find this guy in the quickest amount of time. The only downfall was that he'd have to spend four more years in the Navy. That meant time away from his family, a lot of time, but he felt at the moment that four years could replace a lifetime of heartache and regret if he was wrong about this guy not following through with his threats of coming to Hawaii. He had no choice.

He came in the house and went up the stairs, stopping just outside their bedroom door. He needed to tell her what he'd done, hoping she understood, but even if she didn't at first, she would; the same as he eventually understood her.

He reached down to open the door but it was locked. He couldn't help but chuckle through his disappointment over her stubbornness once again. He leaned his head against the door, but didn't attempt to knock or let her know he was there. After what had happened earlier in the night, he decided maybe this was the best thing. If he had to leave first thing, then he didn't want another confrontation. He was pretty sure she didn't want him in the bed either, so he'd take what he could for now, sliding down the wall and sitting on the floor, knowing it was the closest he was going to get to her for now.

He closed his eyes and pictured her sitting at the bar that night in Thailand. The feeling that he had that night when he first recognized her rippled through him, god it felt good. He wished he could go back and relive it just once more.

That night and the four days that followed was the beginning of what would become his purpose in life. His family. He had no qualms about the sacrifices he was going to have to make over the next four years. They were worth every one of them.

His life wasn't his own anymore, and he liked it that way, but more than anything he wanted to keep it that way.


	10. Chapter 10

Steve sat at his desk in his office, looking around the room as well as the area beyond. He'd been there for almost nine years but it didn't feel like a work place to him, it felt more like a second home. He'd had some good laughs and even some very trying times in this place and was going to miss it greatly over the next four years. But it was the people that he was leaving behind that he was going to miss the most. His team was a second family to him and he loved them and cared about their well-being just as much as he did his own family; they'd been a part of his life longer than Michelle and the kids had.

He knew he'd be leaving the job in good hands. Danny would take over and run it just as well as he had, maybe even better. He had the patience for it more then he did that was for damn sure. He only hoped that when he came back after his time was served that he actually could come back. He knew he'd never be the 'boss' again, not that he ever really felt it; they were all equal in his eyes. Maybe they would replace him he thought somberly, Danny needed a new partner, someone to back him up. That thought alone stung.

He tried to picture who he would hire, probably someone who was from the mainland and wore a tie everyday. He smiled over that, but knew Danny had grown out of that scenario a long time before. He couldn't for the life of him picture anyone to take his spot , or maybe he just didn't want too.

He heard the front doors open and then the chatter as all three of them came down the hallway, returning from he assumed was a crime scene or a case lead. He didn't say anything but just watched as they collaborated their ideas around the computer table, none of them noticing his presence. He was supposed to be on leave to take care of Michelle, so his absence was expected.

It had only been a few days since they'd got back from Jordan; he was still reeling over their heroism as they came to his aid. He never would have been able to pull off what he needed to without their help, not knowing what he would have done without them.

He smiled as Kono glanced over in his direction and then quickly took another look, seeing him sitting there.

"Hey," she said, "What are you doing here?"

The other two followed her eyes and turned, the expression on their faces just as shocked.

"Everything ok?" Chin asked as the three of them made their way over to his office.

"Yes, everything's good," he lied. "I just needed to talk to you guys for a minute."

"What about," Danny asked, eyeing him suspiciously. The visit was completely out of the blue, wondering if he'd heard news about the compound raid.

"Have a seat guys," he said, using his feet to wheel his desk chair around so he was in the same space as they were.

They all looked at each other with uneasy expressions as they sat down. Danny took the chair across from his desk while Chin and Kono each sat on the leather sofa.

"Are you sure everything's alright?" Kono asked again.

He looked at her but didn't reply, instead he leaned over resting his elbows on his knees with his hands clasped together as if he were uneasy himself.

"Just spit it out," Danny said, not liking what he was seeing.

Steve groaned softly as he raised his hands up to his face, spreading them over and through his hair. This was going to be harder than he thought.

"Come on," Danny said again letting out a loud sigh, knowing whatever it was he had to say was going to blow their hair back.

Steve looked up talking to Chin and Kono, knowing Danny already knew the beginning of the story. "You remember at the compound, that guy that got away through the tunnel in the floor?"

Chin nodded. "The one Danny wanted to go after," he said, "and you wouldn't let him."

"Ok," Kono said, catching on having heard the story from Chin. "Didn't you shoot him?"

"I clipped him is all."

Danny said nothing, sensing the end of this story wasn't going to be good.

"He threatened my kids when he had Michelle captive. He told her he'd come to the island and…" he paused, feeling his anger ignite, "he said he'd take them."

"Holy shit," Kono mumbled.

"Do you think it's a creditable threat?" Chin asked him.

"I don't know," Steve replied.

"No," Danny blurted out.

Steve focused on him. "That might be so Danny, but you know what? I went and saw Elie and Ellen last night. I stood in their room while they slept and something profound occurred to me. What if? What if I pissed this guy off enough by not only shooting him, but by wiping out his entire crew and leaving him on the run? Or what if not being able to break Michelle left him bitter? What better way to torture us both than by taking it out on our kids." He shook his head. "I can't take that chance."

"So what then?" he asked. "You're just going to take off on a wild chase until you find this guy?"

"I thought about it, but that could take time, a lot of time. I need to find him now and I realized the quickest way to do that is to utilize the resources that would be in my best interest."

Danny sat up, narrowing his eyes as he stared at him. "What do mean? What are you going to do?"

"It's not what I'm going to do, it's what I've already done." He focused solely on Danny now as he told them. "I'm heading up the investigation on the terrorists kidnappings that have been taking place on the Iraq, Jordanian border. The same one Michelle was involved in."

He looked at him queerly. "How the hell are you going to do that? They're just going to let you waltz in there and take over?"

"No." He took in a deep breath and let it out slow, "If I want the resources and the task…I had to re-enlist."

"What do you mean, re-enlist?" he asked, feeling his mouth go dry.

"I'm back in Naval Intelligence."

Danny's jaw literally fell open as he stared at him completely dumfounded.

Steve looked him dead on. "I report to Pearl in two days for deployment to Israel where I'll join my team, and from there to Jordan."

He looked from Danny's stunned expression to Chin and Kono's. "I know this is a shock, but it's the most lucrative way for me to find the guy that hurt Michelle and threatened my kids. I'll be able to do it in half the time, maybe a quarter if I'm back in Naval Intelligence."

"Are you out of your fucking mind!" Danny blurted out, his first reaction was anger, but that was only to cover up the other feelings that were overwhelming him at the moment as he faced the reality that not only was his partner vacating his life, but so was his best friend. "I can't believe you did that! For how long?!"

"Four years," Steve said calmly, seeing the anger and frustration all over him. It was a crazy notion but he'd hoped that of all people Danny would have understood why.

"What the hell!" he yelled, standing up and walking toward the door, stopping before he got there and turning to him. "What did Michelle say about all this? She can't be happy about it." He hoped it wasn't her that put him up to it, knowing how badly she wanted that guy dead. He wasn't sure he'd be able to respect her after that if she was the culprit.

"She doesn't know yet. I haven't told her."

"Did she put you up to this? Is this her idea? Does she want that fucker dead so bad that she talked you into giving up four years of your life?!"

He was crossing the line. "Be careful, Danny," Steve warned, "I know your pissed, but don't say something that's going to make this departure difficult for when there's a reunion."

"A reunion?" he practically laughed. "There's a war going on out there and guys are getting killed everyday! Once this little manhunt is over do you think they're going to put you behind a desk at Langley?! No! They're going to strap a gun to your chest so you can lead a team! Don't you think you've had enough experience with war and that maybe your luck at surviving another one is running out?!"

"I can't think of it that way, Danny."

He threw his arms up. "Whatever! You're like talking to a fucking brick wall with a big ole' flag wrapped around it! Go ahead," he yelled walking out, "go play GI Joe, fuck the rest of us!" He went past his own office and straight out the front doors.

Steve sat back in his chair, knowing that telling him wasn't going to be easy, but he didn't expect it to turn out this bad. He looked over at Chin and Kono, "I'm sorry guys."

"Hey," Chin said passively, "Sometimes decisions have to be made. Tough decisions. I understand why you have to do it, but I just hope you thought it through to some extent. I know you've gone through a lot over the past couple of weeks. I just hope this isn't a rash decision is all."

"I know what you're saying, and yes, maybe it is a rash decision, but right now, time isn't a friend of mine. I need to act fast."

"I'm going to miss you," Kono chimed in, "but I know how much your family means to you. I think you're doing the right thing. And don't worry about Danny. He knows it too, he's just angry right now, but once he settles down, he'll come around."

Steve smiled just slightly, "Thanks Kono." He hoped she was right about Danny. He had to leave soon, but didn't want to do it with this bad blood between them, knowing that it would weigh heavy on him the entire time he was gone.

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As he drove home he couldn't help but reminisce about places he passed. The park where he used to take the girls when they were toddlers and slide down the slide with them, or the shaved ice stand they would walk to at the end of the road and then sit on the nearby beach and enjoy it. He could still hear their screams of laughter as they would chase after him by the water and grab onto his leg. He'd fall on the sand and they'd climb on him, giving him hugs and kisses.

It was some of the best memories of his life. He wasn't sure how he was going to survive four years without them everyday, these past few days were hard enough. He quickly reminded himself that it was better than a lifetime without them. He'd make up for lost time when he got out, or when he was on leave, hoping they wouldn't loose that tight bond that he had formed with each of them, it would break his heart. They were at that tender age when they really began to understand what it was like to have a father, and he feared taking that away from them now might change who they are, or who they become.

He stopped at a red light and looked across the way at a man and woman standing on the street with a stroller, waiting to cross. He'd stood in that very spot with Michelle and the girls when they were babies. He felt his chest tighten, hearing Chin's voice in his head, asking if it was a rash decision he'd made by going back in the Navy? He couldn't decide if it was or not. He felt like he had to do it to protect his family from harm, but at the same time was he harming them by being away? He felt lost all of a sudden, having no one to fall back on for support.

He hadn't even told Michelle yet, wishing he had his wife back to talk too. He missed her now more than ever. She was the one who understood him, who could always lead him in the right direction, but he couldn't rely on her now, not even sure how he was going to tell her.

It was crazy how everything had gotten so out of control. He wanted his life back in the worse way. He didn't want to go back in the Navy. He just wanted his perfect life back.

He startled, hearing the car behind him honk. He looked up at the green light as the lane next to him was already under way. He glanced at the family across the street, happy as could be.

He wanted to feel that again.

They honked again and he stepped on the gas, moving along with traffic.

He came down his street toward the house and saw a silver Mercedes at the end of the driveway.

He pulled in next to it and got out. There were no distinguished markings to give him a clue of who it belonged too. He assumed it was the doctor that was coming over to examine Michelle. He wanted to stay with her during the exam, hoping it would ease her some, but she made it clear she didn't want him there.

It was just another blow to their already strained relationship. He knew why she didn't want him to stay, but he belonged there. He was her husband, but more than that he was her friend. He wished she could see through all the haze and remember that. He said another small prayer before going inside that all was well with her health. He wasn't sure he could take another misfortune. He was already dangling by a thread.

He came inside and froze with his hand still on the doorknob, seeing the owner of the car sitting on his couch. The thread that had been holding him up snapped. All his feelings of frustration, loneliness and despair over his life rose up and turned to anger, seeing the person he felt was to blame.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he growled as Bryan List stood up, seeing the rage that was vented in his direction.

"Steve…Ah, Commander," he replied nervously as Michelle stood up as well from the chair that had her back to him.

"Get out!" Steve shouted, throwing the door open all the way. "Get out of my house!" It was then that he noticed two other men dressed in security uniforms standing by the stairs.

"Steve," Michelle quickly intervened, never seeing him look so angry before.

He ignored her and the other two men, going toward the person that he felt was just as guilty of their demise as the man he was hunting. "You got about one second to get the fuck out of my house or I'm going to rip your head off."

"Steve!" Michelle shouted, blocking his path.

Bryan quickly scooped up his papers off the coffee table and moved down the other side of it as the two men behind Steve approached. They were there to protect the woman but it was quickly becoming a situation where they were going to have to protect their boss.

He ignored her pleas, keeping his line of vision on Bryan, pointing at him. "You're brave showing up here after all that's happened! I told you that if anything happened to my wife I was coming for you."

Bryan nodded his head at the two men, feeling he needed their protection, glad he had brought them although the purpose was not to defend him.

"Step away," one of the men behind him said in a demanding voice.

Again, the only person that Steve could see or hear was practically shaking in his shoes as he stood with the coffee table between them as if that were some sort of safety blockade.

"Commander," Bryan began, "I know what happened at the compound. I know everything. I also know about your re-enlisting in the Navy. I'm not here for that."

He barely got the words out when Steve's anger hit a new high. He hadn't even had a chance to tell Michele yet but here was Bryan List, making his life hell all over again. "You little fuck!" His finger that pointed at him curved into a fist as he went after him.

He felt an arm come around his neck from behind and a shove on his chest as Michelle tried to push him backwards. His defense mechanism kicked in and went for the culprits behind him, throwing his elbow back and connecting with a face. The man stumbled backward, with his hands over his nose.

Steve turned just in time to see the other one pulling out his nightstick.

The weapon fell to the ground as the man dropped it, trying to catch his balance as he went flying backward from the kick to his chest. He landed at the base of the stairs as his bloodied partner gave it one more effort.

Steve blocked his incoming fist that was aimed at his jaw, grabbing the back of the guys neck and lifting his knee as he pulled his head down, connecting it to his already bloody nose, hearing the crack as he broke it this time. He let him fall to the ground and took two steps toward the other one as he lifted his hands as a sign of surrender. His partner was a trained fighter and yet he lied on the ground mumbling incoherently. Neither of them was a match for this guy.

Steve pointed down at him. "You better stay down!"

He turned toward Bryan as he tried to slither out of the house, practically hugging the wall as he went for the door. Steve beat him to it, standing in his way.

"Going somewhere?"

Bryan held a wad of papers in arms, refusing to make eye contact with the man that only stood about three inches taller than he, but at that second Steve felt like a giant the way he stared down at him, their chests almost touching.

"Steve," Michelle begged, her voice shaky coming to Bryan's aid. "Let him go."

"What did you come here for?" he asked, hating that his wife was defending him.

"I…" Bryan stammered feeling Steve's breath on his forehead. "I needed to...I wanted to check and make sure Michelle was alright." He glanced over at her, still shocked to see the damage that was done, feeling another wave of guilt slam into him.

"Bullshit!" Steve refuted. "You needed a debriefing. Well let me make it perfectly clear to you… "he bumped him with his chest, "it's none of your fucking business what happened over there and if you ever set foot on my property again, I'll take the law into my own hands, you got me?"

"Steve, let him go," Michelle said, pulling on his arm. "Leave Bryan."

Bryan mistakenly looked up at him but quickly diverted his eyes, never seeing anyone look at him with so much hatred before. "Let's go," he said to the two men who were now standing, waiting to see how things were going to unfold, each relieved they got the green light to vacate.

"I'm sorry Michelle," Bryan said sincerely as he walked sideways out the door, knowing Steve wasn't going to budge an inch for him. "I think I have all I need to close this up. If you need anything, please just call my office."

Steve looked over at her, wondering what Bryan meant by 'he had everything he needed'. He stepped out of the way, keeping his attention on her now as the other two men left. He grabbed ahold of the door and slammed it shut so hard the mirror on the wall jumped and fell to the floor, breaking inside the frame.

"Why did you let him in here?!"

"What was I supposed to do, slam the door in his face? He's my…"

"Yes!" he yelled. "He's the one that so casually sent you over there! Did he tell you during this so called debriefing that he knew all along that there had been kidnappings going on over there?!"

"Yes, he did tell me that, and he apologized profusely for it. He thought they had it under control."

He looked at her appalled. "Jesus Christ Michelle, it sounds to me like you're defending him!"

"Stop yelling at me!"

"What did you tell him?!"

"Nothing! They found the compound, Steve ! They already know what happened!"

"They don't know shit, unless you tell them! What did you tell him?"

"He just wanted to know if I said anything about the contracts. I told him no." She went to walk away when he grabbed her arm.

"Is that it?"

She looked down at the hold he had on her and shot him a look that told him he better let go, which he did, immediately. It also cooled his temper rather quickly, never having touched her like that before out of anger, but his impulsive grab only ignited hers. "Speaking about confessions! What the hell was he talking about when he said he knows about you re-enlisting in the Navy! What the hell does that mean? Why would he say such a ridiculous thing?"

He didn't answer her. This isn't how he wanted it to go down, not by a long shot.

"Answer me," her voice low this time, but the shaky tone returned, fearing the silence. "What did you do?" she whispered.

He looked up at her not able to see the woman he knew as his wife through the bruises and cuts anymore. She was slipping away, his whole life was slipping away right before his eyes. "I did what I had to do to protect you and the girls. I'll find him just like I promised you I would, and I'll get rid of the threat so you feel safe."

She shook her head, trying to get her mind wrapped around this new plan that was going to turn her life upside down once again. She knew precisely why he was doing it, and the edge he would gain from it, but what she couldn't grasp was the sacrifice he was putting on himself all for the sake of keeping them safe. Had she been so blind that she couldn't see this coming? She'd lost touch with him and as a result he did the unthinkable in her absence. What choice did she leave him.

"What's happening," she said almost breathless, "What's happening to us."

Her tone was frightened but her words were comforting to him, seeing the first sign that maybe she felt like he did.

She saw no sign of the anger she had witnessed only minutes before on him, taking the time to stop and really see him for the first time since this whole mess had begun. She was shocked over the appearance of the man that was standing in front of her. She'd never seen him look so beat up without the physical marks, but the signs from it were all over his face. Her world was crumbling, but she realized then so was his. They were in the same sinking boat, only it was he who was doing most of the work to keep it afloat.

She couldn't remember the last time she touched him without it being a selfish act on her part. She had been so caught up in her own misery that it never occurred to her that he was suffering too. She went to him this time, rather than away, being reminded by his latest proposal just how much he did love her and their kids.

She reached up and touched his face with her fingers, wanting to tell him that she loved him, but his initial reaction to her touch was so heartfelt she couldn't bring herself to speak over the flood of emotions that filled her. She didn't see the pity in his tender blue eyes that she had been accusing him of, what she saw was her husband being nourished by the simple gesture that she'd been holding back from him.

He didn't know just how badly he needed her touch until it was given. He felt a renewed strength from it, but at the same time he felt he might crumble because of it. He couldn't survive day to day anymore the way they were living.

"I don't want to fight anymore," he said honestly. "I miss you. I miss my wife."

She needed to take this moment for what it was, a plea from her husband to recognize that their marriage was in trouble. They had been steadily going in the opposite direction since her return and now with his new venture out in the open she understood just how dangerous it could be if he left with them in this place of their relationship.

"I don't want to fight anymore either. I'm sorry for…"

"Stop," he said, "stop right there. I'm not looking for an apology. You're completely justified for what you're feeling Michelle, and I don't want to play it down and stifle those feelings either." He cupped the back of her neck, "We're a team. Don't you know that when you hurt, I hurt? When you're scared, I'm scared for you. I just…" he couldn't quite get the words out to explain it to her. He took a step back, putting a hand over his heart, "It's me. Don't you see me anymore? Don't you trust me?"

He was right, she was afraid to admit it but she had lost that trust, or she just hadn't relied on it like she should have, needing to be reminded that it still existed, she was just avoiding it. "It's hard for me to talk about it with you."

"And its hard for me to hear it, but if we don't get past this fear then we might as well just give up now and admit that he beat you and he beat me, because this relationship we're living in now isn't working for either of us and he's winning. Don't let him break us Michelle. Right now we're just two people living day to day," he moved in, wrapping an arm around her waist, "but together we're something special, you know that."

She did and he was right, everyday that she pushed him away was another victory for that bastard. "I just feel like a stranger in this body," she confessed.

"Then let me remind you who you are," he grinned as he pulled her closer to him, "you're my better half, you're the one that makes my heart stop, and you're also the one that makes it beat out of control. You're a daughter and you're an amazing mother, but more than anything else, you're a remarkable woman and the bravest person I've ever met. That's who you are. Don't ever forget it."

He was wrong about the better half part, he was that to her. She had made a huge mistake by not taking advantage of that at a time when it was needed the most. She loved him unconditionally, but in all the turmoil she had forgotten that he felt the same way about her.

The feelings for him that she feared she'd lost because of the abuse resurfaced, filling her with that precious sensation that she only felt around him. It was as if the blinds that had been covering her eyes had been lifted and she could see so clearly now, she could see him clearly. He looked every bit as gallant as he ever had, recalling how just days before he had rode into the place she'd been held captive and like the hero he was, rescued her and brought her home.

"You know what," she said, putting a hand on his chest, "I never thanked you properly for what you did for me. You saved my life." She looked up at him seeing his face light up over the attention she was bestowing upon him. He held a slight grin and she could tell he was fighting back his shyness and embarrassment over her admiration, never liking or being able to take compliments very well, but she could feel the reaction in the palm of her hand as his heart began to beat harder. That too thrilled her. "You were so brave," she teased him, caressing his chest.

"Stop," he chuckled, but was beyond pleased over her playfulness. This was the Michelle he loved so much.

"You were," she gloated, moving her hand up and around the back of his neck. "Thank you." She rose up and put her lips against his, kissing him tenderly.

It was soft with only the slightest bit of pressure, but it was the most erotic kiss he could ever remember getting, feeling his body instantly come alive. It only lasted seconds but it left him dazed and needing another. "More please," he implored her.

Her eyes were still blackened and the bruises on her face healing, but he saw none of it and she felt none of it as he looked at her in that sexy, adoring way that set her soul on fire. She looked far from her usual feminine appearance with her shaved head but he made her feel every bit as beautiful as he always did.

She gave him what he asked for, only this time the tenderness was replaced with her thankfulness for loving her unconditionally.

He wanted her. He wanted her more at that second than he did the night he stood on the balcony of his hotel in Thailand, looking down at the stunning image of her as she stared up him. He thought then as he did now that he would go mad if he couldn't have her.

She knew her husband and was thrilled that she could still excite him even after everything that had happened. She broke from the kiss but continued her enticing ways by moving to his neck as he let out a low growl over the nature of it. His hands moved up and down her body, telling her without words what he wanted. They had been married for seven years and never needed to tell the other when they wanted to make love, the signs had been put in place years before.

"Let's go upstairs," she whispered in his ear, wanting him just as badly.

He didn't take the time to verbally reply, but just bent over and carefully scooped her up, knowing she was still weak in some places. She rested her head on his shoulder as he carried her upstairs.

"See," she smiled, "my hero."

He kissed her cheek for that as he reached the top step. "You're hero ma'am," he grinned entering the bedroom, "is going to pleasure this beautiful body, over and over," he laid her down on the bed, "and over again," he finished with a kiss.

She held on around his neck as he lay down with her. They fell right back into that familiar groove that was simply each other.

He kept his eyes on her as he slid his hand under her shirt, caressing her stomach and moving up over her breasts while he leaned down and kissed her.

She reciprocated his move over his back, pulling up on his shirt, breaking the kiss as she lifted it over his head.

He liked that, following her lead as he carefully removed hers too. His eyes moved down over her topless body enjoying the view. "Perfect," he whispered before kissing her right breast, "beautiful," he continued, moving to the other one, his tongue and lips playing with her. The bruises and abrasions were overlooked, not wanting to bring the beast into their bed.

She ached for him, missing this intimacy and the security of knowing how much he loved her. It never showed more than when he was making love to her. She tilted her head back as he began to kiss her neck, just below her ear, hitting that little spot that he knew she loved.

"I want you so bad," he whispered to her as his hand slid down her body and up the outside of her thigh. "I love you so much, Michelle."

Those words made her head swirl, feeling it more than hearing it. "I love you too. I was so angry and confused. The things I said to you…" she paused, recalling some of those hurtful words. The regret was staggering. "I'm so sorry."

He kissed her cheek, thanking her for it. "It's behind us now. Let's just keep moving forward."

He rose up looking down at her. He recognized his wife looking back at him, which only ignited his eagerness, but he couldn't ignore the one wound on her body that could affect their intimacy. He hesitated but knew it had to be dealt with, it would only be this one time and then they would never have to speak of it again. "You have to promise me something," he began.

She knew where he was going with this, but like him she knew it had to be said, both for her sake and for his.

"If you feel any discomfort you have to tell me. I couldn't stand the thought of hurting you, not like that."

She nodded, seeing the concern in his eyes. "I promise. But I know it won't. It's going to feel so good," she pulled him down to her lips. "You're going to feel so good."

Those words and her kiss combined almost ended it before it even began. He had to rely on self-control to keep his body at bay. Her want for him was the best aphrodisiac he could think of, knowing too that it could quite possibly be the best sex of his life. It was like being with her for the first time all over again.

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Michelle sat on the edge of the bed and looked at him as he slept. He laid on his back with one arm above his head and the other resting on his stomach; the sheet barely covering his lower extremities. She smiled at the handsome and peaceful expression on his face. She too was perfectly content, but unlike him she was awake, wide-awake; maybe more so than anytime in her entire life. She knew precisely what she wanted and what she didn't want.

She wanted to go see her daughters as soon as possible and she didn't want her husband to leave them on a mission that could ultimately take him from them forever. She didn't have the details of his re-enlistment but hoped it was something that could be abolished. She needed him here with her and the girls, especially now. This is where he belonged.

She reached out and touched his hand that was on his stomach. All the pain and fear she had was gone. It was as if he had healed her overnight. She had woken up for the first time since her ordeal almost pain free, on the contrary she felt perfectly radiant. The first time they made love it was slow and of all the times he had out done himself on the romantic charts, that time had hit new heights and she was sure it would never be matched. In the first few seconds they both knew it was going to be amazing; and neither ended up being disappointed. And the few minutes afterward were just as rewarding as they both basked in the emotional aftermath. He was the strongest most resilient man she had ever known, but as he looked at her with tears in his eyes, she knew then he really was her hero.

She was relieved too that the beast was never a factor while they made love, before, during or after. She hadn't thought of him once until Steve's departure entered her head.

She smiled at him as he opened his eyes.

He saw her and the same jubilant expression crossed his face.

"Hi beautiful," he said sleepily, reaching out and putting a hand on her leg. "How's my girl?"

"Happy," Michelle replied.

"Best reply I've ever heard," he grinned, stroking her thigh.

"I want to go see the girls this morning. I want to go home."

He lifted his head, looking at her. "Second best reply ever."

She took his hand and held it, "I also don't want you to leave. We need to talk about this re-enlisting in the Navy idea." She shook her head, "Is it too late to get out of it? Please don't tell me its written in stone."

He sat up, leaning back against the headboard. "You know why I'm doing it don't you?"

"Yes, for me and the girls."

"For your protection."

"At what cost," she argued. "Four years of your life gone without us, or what if you have to pay the ultimate price?" She moved up on the bed closer to him. "I can't go through that again. Please don't go, Steve."

He listened to her and understood her fears, having just gone through it himself, but the fear for his kids was still very much apparent. "What if he comes here? I made a promise to you. I intend to keep it."

"I don't want it anymore."

"Michelle," he sighed, "just because you changed your mind doesn't mean he will."

"Use your experience and your contacts to find him from here. Please don't go," she begged.

"Why now, why all of a sudden? Just over night you change your mind?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"You even said so yourself that he wouldn't be crazy enough to come here."

He scooted over on the opposite side of the bed and picked up his pants. "You aren't giving me an answer."

"Isn't my asking enough?"

He looked over his shoulder at her as he stood up, slipping his pants on. "Don't do that. Don't try to guilt me into it. I stood in the girls rooms the other night and the thought of something happening to them and…"

"I'm pregnant," Michelle blurted out.

He stood his ground staring at her in shock. That was the last thing he had expected her to say.

He slowly sat back down again. This changed the game completely. "When? How long? I mean, when did you find out?"

She sat on the opposite side of the bed with her back to him. "Yesterday during the exam," she replied softly, "They gave me a pregnancy test and it came out positive."

He shifted on the bed so he could see her as it slowly sank in.

She bit her bottom lip to stop it from quivering. This wasn't the way they had planned it. She wasn't sure if this was the best thing that could happen right now, or the worst. He was so quiet she was afraid to turn around and face him.

She felt the bed shift as he got up, seeing him in her peripheral vision as he came around to her side. She looked up at him as he knelt down on the floor in front of her.

He smiled pleasingly as he wedged his way between her legs, getting one from her as well.

"Are you ok?" he asked. "Did the doctor check you out and say everything was ok?"

She shrugged slightly, "She wants me to make an appointment with my Obstetrician as soon as possible, but all the other tests she took came back negative."

He knew what tests she was referring to; the ones that would make sure nothing had been passed to her during the assault. He was relieved to hear that, but already had assumed she had the green light or the night before never would have taken place, she wouldn't have allowed it. "All the tests were negative except one," he smiled, resting his hands on the bed on either side of her. "We're going to have another baby," he said as if she didn't already know.

"Yes, we are." She put her hands on his shoulders, "I don't want you to go. All those things I said to you…the things I asked you to do. I was angry. I still am. I'm angry that he's out there somewhere, but what you said last night, you were right. If we let him come between us then he wins." She moved her hands up to his face. "I love you, please don't go."

He had no will to leave her after that. "Ok."

Michelle tilted her head a little surprised over his quick change of heart without a hint of argument. "Really?"

"What?" he chuckled. "You can change your mind at the drop of a hat but I can't?"

She moved her arms around his neck, "No, you can, I've just never witnessed it before."

"You've got me in a very interesting position Mrs. McGarrett."

"Really? How so?"

"Remember when you were pregnant with the twins? I was putty in your hands. Anything you wanted, all you had to do was ask."

She glided her hand over his hair, kissing him for that.

She sat back and looked at him seriously as her smile slowly faded, knowing him so well, too well at that moment. "You already signed the papers, didn't you?"

The last thing he wanted to do at that second was hurt her, but it was a done deal, he was glad she had figured it out before he had to put this game to rest and tell her the truth. "I signed yesterday. I have to go."

She had no one to blame but herself. She had put him up to it, maybe not as far as re-enlisting, but she had put the challenge out there for him to find this man and knowing him, he never broke a promise to her. "This is all my fault," she said as tears began to show.

"No its not," he quickly reminded her. "None of this is your fault. There are a lot of people to blame but you're not one of them."

She wiped her eyes and looked at him, trying desperately to hide her sadness. "When do you have to go?"

"Tomorrow," he replied in the same disheartening tone. "I was going to tell you when I got home yesterday, but List beat me to it, and then with last night…" he smiled recalling their two liaisons, "I didn't want to spoil things."

"I forced you into it. I took advantage of knowing that if I asked, you'd deliver." For the first time in her marriage she felt she had betrayed him.

"It was my decision, maybe a rash, spare of the moment one, but after seeing the girls and knowing the threat, I got scared. I felt what you must have when it was first spoken. I felt cornered, helpless. I was terrified, Michelle." It felt good to be able to talk to her again. He'd needed this so badly over the past week, but now that they were finally back on track the idea of leaving scared him too. "You don't really think if I go that it will hurt our marriage do you?" That frightened him now almost as much as the threat against his kids, especially with a baby coming.

"No," she replied firmly, laying her hand back on his chest. "We're a team, remember?" She smiled, wanting to ease his fear in this troubling situation that they were now facing. "We've been in worse situations than this and come out ahead. We'll do it again."

He put his hand over hers and guided it from his chest to her lower abdomen, "I love you. I feel lost without you. You keep me stable you know that?"

"I'll never put anything between us ever again," she promised. "You're the most important person in my life," her voice broke already feeling the fear of his absence. "I love you too." She leaned into him as they wrapped around each other.

"We'll be ok," he assured her, feeling that that unwavering bond they had was now back in place. When he felt that security, there was nothing in the world that could break them up.

She held tightly onto him, knowing that if anything happened to him she would never be able to forgive herself. They were thrown into this pit by others, but it was the two of them working together that had to dig their way out. He was doing what he had to do, and now it was her turn to do what she had to do.

They heard a knock on the front door and broke from the embrace.

"Are you expecting anyone this morning?" he asked her.

"No."

He got up off his knees, "I'll get it."

"I'm going to jump in the shower," Michelle replied. "I want to go see the girls so get rid of whoever it is."

"I'm with ya on that. Save me some hot water." He smiled devilishly as he leaned over, "Or just wait for me," he said with a kiss.

"I'll take my time. That will ensure you get rid of the guest."

They heard another knock and Steve groaned as he left the room.

He came down the steps and opened the front door.

Danny held up a six-pack of Longboard beer with a sheepish grin. "I come in peace to bury the hatchet."

Steve smiled and then looked at the beer. "It's eight thirty in the morning, you should have brought coffee."

Danny walked past him into the house. "Guys don't bury the hatchet over coffee." He went into the kitchen across the way and set the beer on the counter, taking out two. He twisted off the top of one and handed it to Steve as he came in behind him. He did the same with another and kept it, holding it up to him. "I apologize for yesterday. I was immature, rude and didn't take our friendship to heart the way I should have. I'm your partner and should have been there for you no matter what."

Steve stared him like he was someone else. "Huh," he replied baffled over the words coming out of Danny's mouth.

"I'm trying to apologize for yesterday."

Steve huffed, "You sound like a Hallmark card."

Danny rolled his eyes, "I know. I went home last night a little grumpy over the whole argument and Gracie set me straight. Those are her words."

Steve chuckled, "Ok, now it makes more sense."

"But seriously," Danny sighed, a little surprised that Steve's attitude and mood was more 'up' than he had expected. "I apologize. I was being a puss. I didn't have your back like I should have. You have enough shit going on in your life that you don't need me making it worse."

Steve grinned over the same meaning of words but in 'Danny style'. He held his beer up to him. "Thanks Danny. I appreciate that." They tapped glasses and drank, burying the disagreement.

Michelle came down the stairs hearing his voice. "Hi Danny."

They both turned to her.

"Hey there," Danny replied. Her wounds were still visible as well as the short hair, but she somehow looked like her old self to him. He kissed her cheek as she hugged him. "You look good," he said.

"Oh yea," Michelle laughed, "a regular beauty queen," she huffed.

"I'm serious," Danny said again, "you really look good. You have this happy glow about you. I can see it."

She looked over at Steve and they smiled at each other, knowing what it was from.

"Does my husband have it too," she teased. "He should. He's the one that gave me mine." She put an around his waist and laid her head on his shoulder, "A true miracle worker."

Steve looked over at Danny and grinned arrogantly. "What can I say. I got the magic touch."

"Ok," Danny declared, lifting his hand up in defense, "that's enough of that." He finally understood why his partner was so exuberant, he and Michelle seemed like their old selves again. He was glad for that, they were too good together to be on opposite ends.

Michelle giggled, noticing then the drinks in their hands. "Are you drinking beer at eight thirty in the morning?"

"Yes," Steve answered, tapping his bottle against Danny's. "We had a little misunderstanding yesterday, but buried the hatchet in a bottle of brew."

They both took a swig.

Danny went over to the counter and pulled out another bottle, "Would you like to join us?"

"No, don't open that Danny," she quickly refused the offer, "I can't."

"C'mon," Danny urged, "have a drink with us. I've never known you to turn down a beer, ever."

"She can't," Steve spoke up. "She's pregnant."

His shocked face mirrored Steve's earlier one, but so was his pleasure for the both of them. "That's great news!" He set the beer down and hugged Michelle. "Congratulations."

"Thank you."

He reached his hand out to Steve next and they did a 'bro' shake as he slapped him on the shoulder. "Nice job, buddy. I'm happy for you." He wondered then if this changed his plans.

Steve knew exactly what he was thinking before the subject even reached Danny's brain. "This doesn't change anything. I still have to go."

The mood in the kitchen changed. All three of them became silent, caught up in their own disheartened feelings and thoughts over his departure.

Michelle was the first to speak up, needing to come to Steve's aid, not only to ease his worry but Danny's as well. "It's ok. We'll get through this. We all will." She took Steve's hand and squeezed it, fighting that guilt of putting him up to it, seeing now how it was going to effect so many other lives as well.

He saw it in her clear as day, but spoke to both of them. "It was my decision, all I ask is that you back me up. if I don't have that, then I am screwed."

This was her duty now, not standing behind him but next to him. She reached for a bottle of beer and twisted off the top, not considering one small drink as harmful. She held it out to the two of them, "We're Ohana. Good or bad, we stick together."

Steve and Danny both nodded in agreement.

"Ohana," Danny said, making sure he touched each one of their beers.

"Ohana," Steve and Michelle said simultaneously as they all three took a drink.

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 ** _Rutba, Iraq_**

He held the phone up to his ear with his shoulder, adjusting the sling on his other arm that was immobile because of the gunshot wound.

"Shit." he groaned over the pain, cursing the inexperienced doctor that took the bullet out and the run down hospital where the task was performed; but more than anything else, he cursed the two people who put it there.

He heard a click in the phone and then the familiar voice came on the other end.

"Son, is that you?"

He rolled his eyes, hating that term used by his father. It might have been true but he never felt it. "Yes, it's me."

"Where are you? Are you in the States?"

"No, I'm in Iraq, Dad. I ran into some trouble. I lost my Passport and I need money."

He gritted his teeth, not necessarily wanting to know what the trouble was. "Are you alright?"

"I got shot, but I'm ok."

"You got shot?!"

"I'm fine Dad. I was staying at a village and Taliban invaded them, I had to step up. There were women and children at risk."

He knew more than likely that was a load of shit, but let him have his fable, not wanting an argument over the phone. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," the tone of his father's voice was what he expected. He was a difficult man to impress. "I had to leave the village in a hurry and left everything behind. I need money and do you think you could use your connections and get me a replacement Passport?"

He sighed heavily into the phone, knowing he would fulfill his son's request, but before he did so he was going to have to give him something in return. "Yes, but I want you to come home, Nick." It was a catch-22, he didn't really want him home but was more afraid of his actions that were taking place where he was. He couldn't be trusted.

"Do you miss me Dad?" he huffed.

"It will please your Mother."

"What about you, Dad, aren't you pleased?" he could almost see the tension on his father's face.

"Where should I send the money?"

He knew he wouldn't be wanted home, not really, but he had nowhere else to go now anyway. "Load it on to my Western Union account that I gave you last time. What about the Passport? How soon can you get me another one?"

His father wiped his hand across his forehead. "That's not so easy Nick. I can't just snap my fingers and poof, a Passport appears."

"C'mon Dad, if one of your old service buddies called and said ' _Hey General O'Neil I'm in trouble, I need help'_. You'd snap your fingers and have it flown over first class."

"Don't patronize me! And you're goddamn right I would! They're soldiers that risk their lives for their country, what have you done? Nothing but embarrass me, and god only knows what else? For all I know you were a part of the pillaging of this so called village you were protecting!"

"I never get any respect from you!"

"Earn it!" his father blasted back.

"Never mind!" he said bitterly. "I shouldn't have called you. Tell Mom I said hi and I might make it home for Christmas, maybe next year."

"Nick!" he said angrily and then cooled his temper. "Just wait…I'll see what I can do about the Passport. Call me back tomorrow. I'll send the money now. Two thousand." He wanted to give him just enough to get home, doing it more for his mother than him.

Nick smiled, "I'll call tomorrow with an address where to send the Passport."

"If I send you money and you don't come home Nick, don't bother ever calling again. Do you understand?"

"Wouldn't that just break your heart, Dad," he replied sarcastically. "Too bad I didn't turn out like all those other thousands of sons you have. What a disappointment I am."

He didn't argue with him, nor did he dispute the claim, both were true. He was a disappointment, both to him and his country. "Call me tomorrow."

He hung up and pictured his only son at the age of twelve. He had been a good boy back then, spoiled by his mother, but he was a good boy, wondering where it had all gone wrong. Where had he gone wrong?

He had over thirty years experience commanding an Army. He had men that looked up to him with great admiration, but he couldn't for the life of him neither control nor understand his only son. He had a mean spirit in him that couldn't be controlled either, but once the joining of outside forces began to manipulate him, he knew all was lost. He held on for the sake of his wife. She still saw that twelve-year-old boy not knowing of the distasteful situations that he'd been in, or the people he associated with. It made him cringe knowing he was protecting him, but if he could just get him home, then maybe, just maybe this time he could turn him around.

Nick set the phone back on the hook and looked around the dingy room he was in. He barely had enough money to pay for it, let alone buy a fake passport to get home. He hated asking his old man for anything, but he was in a dire situation now. He didn't want to go home , but knew he had no choice. He needed to please his father for now incase he needed him in the future. He hated it but he needed him. He also needed to get out the country, soon. The other members of the regime from the home compound would be looking for him. They wouldn't be so understanding after finding out that he was the only one to survive a raid by Americans, being one himself. He tried to tell the others that the man with the ransom money was her husband but they wouldn't listen to him, and now they were all lying in the dirt, their corpses rotting. He had a good thing going with them. He had a place in their army, a purpose. He was respected, but now it was all over.

He reached down inside the collar of his shirt and lifted out the chain with her wedding ring attached to it. He wore it as a reminder of his failure. He felt that anger build, disgusted that he had let her get away? He should have slit her throat instead of trying to escape with her. She was the only one he'd never been able to break. It ate at him constantly, the thought of her and her fucking husband who had fired the gun that almost killed him. He thought for sure that tunnel was going to be his grave, but by some miracle he made it out.

He recalled the pictures on Michelle's cell phone that he would gaze at for hours, flipping through the photos in his head, remembering one of her and her two daughters. He'd fantasized over and over of meeting up with her again and how he would torture her and her husband for what they had done to him. It had become a game, envisioning plots that were even more elaborate than the one before, but they were fantasies and nothing more.

He smiled, feeling a jolt of excitement knowing he was headed home. The idea had been less than ideal a few minutes before, but now he had a new strategy, a new reason to go home, and a new project.

It wasn't over. He'd break her yet.


	11. Chapter 11

Michelle adjusted the baseball hat on her head, shifting it back so she could see her eyes in the mirror but then shifting it forward to hide them. Neither was a good fit as she yanked it off and threw it in the bathroom sink at her waist, mumbling a few choice words as her husband appeared at the door.

"Having a little trouble in here?" He looked down and saw the hat he'd given her to wear. "Angry at my Navy hat?" he smiled. "I think I might have an old Army one in the garage that I use when I change the oil in the car if you really want to tear one up."

Michelle looked at him in the mirror and couldn't help but smile over his attempt to ease her temper. She focused back on her image and her smile faded. "I'm scared."

He stepped inside the bathroom and up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and rested his cheek next to hers, talking to her image in the mirror. "What are you afraid of?"

"That they'll be frightened by me."

Steve grinned, gently shaking her. "I've been afraid of you for seven years, I'm glad I'll have some company."

She smiled again, rolling her eyes at his playfulness, "I'm serious."

He turned her around so she was facing him. "Look at me," he said as she diverted her eyes down. "Honey, look at me."

She sighed but did as he asked.

He put a hand under her chin and lifted it up higher giving her a kiss. "You're Mom," he said to her, "they're going to be ecstatic to see you. The shock will wear off in about two seconds and both of them will be too busy hugging and kissing you to notice anything else."

She thought about how excited they always were when she came home from a trip. He was right, it was just her girls, and like him the love they had for her was unconditional. "I'm being ridiculous, aren't I?"

He put his arms around her and hugged her. "You're never ridiculous, but you are being incredibly silly." He groaned and tightened his stomach muscles as she playfully jabbed him in the gut with her fist.

"You're just full of one liners today aren't you?"

"Am I being ridiculous?" he teased her.

"Yes!" she laughed, pushing him off of her. "So stop wasting time and lets get out of here and go home." She grabbed his hand as she left the bathroom, pulling him along.

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"Are there two little girls that live here named Ellen and Elie," Steve shouted as he came in the front door.

"Where are my babies?!" Michelle shouted next.

They heard screams coming from the back deck and then saw both of them come running in the door and down the hall to them.

Michelle knelt down with her arms wide open, while Steve bent over, bracing his hands on his knees, grinning from ear to ear as they ran side by side, going to the parent that was directly in their path.

"Mommy! Daddy!" they screamed and squealed jumping into their arms.

Michelle hugged Elie, forgoing the pain in her shoulder as she squeezed her, rocking her back and forth. She couldn't believe the wonderful sensation that floated through her over being able to hold her daughter again. "I missed you so much," she said, "so, so much!"

Ellen wrapped her arms and legs around Steve's body as he scooped her up and held her tightly. "You didn't even miss us, did you?" he teased her, trying to push the thought from his head that he'd be leaving them again the next day.

"Yes I did!" she yelled, squeezing him tighter around the neck. "I missed you a whole bunch!"

"I missed you too Mommy," Elie declared as she began to cry, feeling that sentimental side appear that wasn't as apparent on her twin.

Michelle sat back on her heels as they looked at each other. It was then that Elie really got a look at her mother under the baseball cap.

Her bewildered and shocked eyes roamed over her face, seeing the cuts on her cheeks and the two dark circles around her eyes. She reached up and took the hat off her head. Michelle held steady, watching her intently. "What happened to your face and your hair? Did you fall down?" she put her hand on Michelle's practically shaved head. "Why did you cut your hair off?"

"Well, that's kind of a funny story," she said, looking over at Ellen as Steve knelt down with her. "Hi sweetie," she said, seeing literally the identical expression on her twin sister's face.

"Mommy," Ellen said, releasing Steve and putting a hand too on her Mother's head. "You look like Daddy."

She and Steve both laughed over that.

Elie gently touched her cheek that still had a lingering bruise on it. "Does it hurt?"

"No, not anymore." She looked up and smiled back at Clair who stood by the kitchen, letting them have their own private reunion.

Ellen was less physical with her, but still held that concern in her eyes, "Did someone hit you?" She looked over at her Father for answers, knowing if anyone ever hurt their mother that he would hurt them. "What happened to her face?"

He and Michelle had talked about it before arriving, not wanting the girls to know that an individual person had beat their mother, that was just too traumatic for two four year olds to digest. Instead she let him know that she had already decided on a tale to tell them that would satisfy their curiosity.

"Daddy and I were sent on this very important case."

"Uncle Danny said so too," Ellen blurted out, confirming the story. "He said you had to go to work someplace for a case."

"That's right," Michelle agreed. "It was in another country. Daddy and I were chasing some bad people and they ran into this big glue factory so we chased after them."

"Did they hide in the building?" Elie asked.

"Yes, but Daddy being the brave and smart police officer that he is, he found them really quickly and arrested them."

Ellen clapped her hands for him as she stood next to him.

He looked over at Michelle with a playfully puzzled expression wondering where in the heck she was going with his, she shrugged and winked at him.

"And when we were leaving the building I accidently bumped into a shelf…and down came a whole bucket of glue on my head." She used her hands to describe the mess and how it spilled over her.

Both girls put their hands over their mouths in shock, Ellen was the only one of the two that giggled, while Elie was sympathetic to the ordeal.

"I had it all over my hair and my face. I was walking around like this," she held her hands out in front of her as if she were blind. They both laughed at that as well as Steve now, enjoying the tale himself. "I couldn't see a thing and I ran right into a pole and BAM!" she slapped her hands together, "it almost knocked me out! That's how I got the black eyes." She put her hand on her head, "And the glue was so messy and sticky they had to cut my hair off to get it out."

Both girls began to giggle now just over the vision of it. Elie put her hand back on her mother's head. "Will it grow back?"

"Of course. It'll be long again before you know it." She put an arm around each one of them. Now, Daddy and I want to hear all about you two."

They both began to talk about the things they'd been doing with Clair and with Danny when he would come over. At first they talked over each other, but as the conversation evolved they began to finish each other's sentences, describing the many adventures they had themselves, forgetting already all about their Mother's hair and marks on her face.

Michelle glanced over at Steve as they listened to them talk. He looked at her in that same adoring way that he always had, which made her heart soar. She was home and just as he had predicted everything was just fine.

She wondered how in the world she was going to live without him day to day for four years.

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Steve tossed Ellen in the air as high as he could. She screamed with delight and plugged her nose at the last second just before she hit the water, butt first.

Michelle and Elie laughed as they both lay on a blow up raft, bobbing in the gentle surf.

"Do you want to try?" Steve asked Elie, making his way over to them in the waist high water.

"No, Daddy," she quickly replied, "I don't want to do it."

He knew of her fear of the water, "I won't throw you high, I promise, and when you come up I'll be right there to grab ya." He didn't want to push her too much, not wanting her to have any negative feelings of him while he was away. Once again he tried to divert those thoughts, not sure how he was going to break that news.

She looked uneasily at her mother.

"It's so fun Elie," Ellen said, swimming over to them, "I don't know why you're such a baby about it."

"Hey," Steve scolded her, "name calling doesn't exist in this family. She's not being a baby about it, she just doesn't feel as comfortable in the water as you do, there's nothing wrong with that." He looked over at her and winked. "She cautious, which is a good thing."

Elie smiled at him, not knowing what that meant but she knew it must have been something good. Her father was always sticking up for her in that way when Ellen would do brave stuff that she felt scared to. She looked out at the water and then back at him, "Do you promise not to throw me really far?" she asked, a hint of apprehension in her voice, but trusting him.

Steve made the sign of the cross over his chest. "I promise."

"You can trust Daddy," Michelle encouraged.

With those words her fear subsided. "Ok," she agreed, sliding off the raft as Steve reached out for her, carrying her away from the raft. "How high do you want to go?' he asked her.

"Not high like Ellen, but kinda high."

"Got it." He held her under the arms and counted down from three, tossing her up in the air as her arms and legs flailed about. She landed the same way as her sister and he quickly went to her, keeping his promise as she came up, taking her hand that came out first reaching out for him, knowing he was there without having to see him. He took ahold of it and pulled her up, pleased to see a smile on her face. "Was that fun!"

She nodded, wiping away the water from her eyes as Michelle and Ellen both cheered. "Can we do that again?"

Steve laughed, "As many times as you want." He pulled her in, getting her in position again. "Here we go, three, two, one...!" He went a little higher this time as she screamed like her sister had, landing safely in the water again.

She came up on her own this time and met him halfway. "Higher Daddy!" she commanded excitedly.

He happily did as he was told. Ellen swam over to him and they took turns being tossed into the water.

Michelle watched with pleasure as he played with both girls, seeing the joy on all three of their faces, especially Steve's. She moved her hand down over her lower belly, feeling where his baby was growing inside of her. A warm feeling moved through her because of it and because she loved him so much. It was hard to fathom how the anger and fear of her ordeal had settled so quickly, contributing it mainly to him and the learning of the baby. She remembered the same warm rush sweep over her right after finding out. At first she was shocked and even terrified, fearing for just a moment that it wasn't Steve's but the monster's, but considering the time frame that fear quickly vanished, knowing that it was her husband's child. It was like a gift that had been given to them at the exact moment that something was needed to stop the madness in their relationship from going any further. This baby was more of a blessing than either had hoped for.

She secretly hoped for a boy, wanting to give him one so badly, but knew in her heart that he didn't care either way. He was a good man that way, and it was one of the reasons she did love him so much. He had risked everything to bring her home and now he was risking even more to keep her safe. That warm feeling was replaced with a cold shiver, recalling all those years before and seeing his code name across her computer screen and the word 'deceased'. It almost destroyed her then, not able to even comprehend what it would do to her now.

As if he could sense her anxiety he turned and looked over at her, seeing something in her eyes that didn't match the smile, knowing it was forced. He made his way over to her as the girls clung to him, one hanging on his back with her arms around his neck and the other holding his bicep with both hands.

"Are you feeling ok?" he asked, reaching up and touching her forehead with his wet hand, wondering if maybe the sun was too much for her right now with being pregnant and her body still recovering from the other.

She didn't answer him right away but just looked at him, overwhelmed with his ability to see her and know when she was hurting or scared like now.

He watched her eyes begin to fill with tears and he knew then what was troubling her. "It's going to be ok," he assured her in that calm soothing voice as they zoned out the girls that chatted and hung on him, only seeing each other.

"I love you," she said, feeling her emotions reaching a new high, contributing it to her hormones from the baby and just out of her sheer admiration for him.

It hit him like a bolt of lightening, never taking those words to heart as much as he did at that moment, even with the chaos around him, it was profound. "I love you too," he replied ever so sincerely. She was the love of his life in so many different ways he couldn't even count them. She was everything. He focused on the bruises that were fading even faster as her face tanned in the sun, but the damage to her hair and her spirit that this man had caused rose up in him with a vengeance that was even more determined than ever. He was going to find him and he was going to kill the beast that had tried to break her. He was going to kill him slowly and painfully.

"Steve," Clair yelled from the deck of the house, "there's someone here to see you."

They both looked in her direction.

"Who?" he asked, reaching around and pulling Ellen from his back.

"I don't know. He's military."

He and Michelle looked at each other with the same confused expression.

"Who do you think it is?" Michelle asked uneasily, "You don't report until tomorrow, right?"

"Right," he replied, setting Elie back on the raft .

Michelle reached out for his arm, "Steve," her voice stressing her words, "don't let them talk you into leaving today, ok?"

He smiled at her, leaning over and giving her a kiss, "Not a chance."

She smiled back, nodding her head, telling him that she believed him.

She watched him wade through the water and make his way up the beach and then the stairs toward the deck, admiring his build. To her joy that warm rush returned, looking forward to that night and being able to make love with him again.

He took the towel that Clair handed him, "Where are they?"

"He's in the office. He's very straightforward and not at all warm or courteous," she said disgusted.

He was a little surprised by that and why someone was even there to begin with. "Thanks, Clair."

He scooped up his shirt off the kid's picnic table and slipped it over his head as he went inside, running his hand over his hair trying to make himself as presentable as possible considering he just stepped out of the ocean. As he entered the house past the kitchen he smiled brightly, getting a whiff of dinner, knowing that Clair was cooking his favorite dish, pot roast.

The smile faded as he entered their home office.

"Commander McGarrett," the man said as he stood up. "You might not remember me, I'm…"

"I know who you are, Commander Benedict," Steve said to him, recognizing the man from his past naval days. They had both been Lieutenant Commanders and lead units at the same time, often meeting with several high-ranking officers to work on maneuvers and strategies for upcoming missions. They were never friends. Steve always had the feeling that he never liked him and he was getting the impression that this reunion wasn't going to be a friendly one either. "What can I do for you?"

"You've done well for yourself, Steve," he said as he walked to the door of the office, glancing out at the formal living room. "Nice house in Hawaii right on the beach." He looked over his shoulder at him as he continued on, "A nice cozy job working for the Governor. I've heard that you make your own rules, I guess they're still impressed by your tactics and let you have your own way." He never liked him, considering his ideas too broad and too risky, even so, they were seldom shut down by their commanding officers.

And there it was Steve thought, knowing his assumptions were correct. The sarcasm was evident. "I'm not clear on why you're here," Steve said. "I'm sure it's not to catch up on old times, and I'm pretty sure you're not all that impressed by my life, so why don't you just cut to the chase, Clint. I report for duty tomorrow and you're interrupting my time with my family."

"Yes," he said, moving away from the door, "I know you re-enlisted. I also know that they re-instated you to full officer status with all your security credentials restored."

"Yea, so. I think I earned the right."

"While you were away playing cop for Hawaii, I moved up in the ranks. I'm a Captain now."

Steve sighed, unimpressed, "Are you expecting me to salute, because I'm not official until tomorrow."

Benedict picked up a briefcase off the ground and set it on the desk, ignoring the sarcasm in his voice. His reason for being there would be a good enough reply to his smart-ass attitude, he thought. "I think I might have something that interests you." He pulled out a file from the briefcase. "About a year ago I took on an assignment to investigate some kidnappings that had been taking place along the Jordanian and Iraqi border." He glanced over at him, hoping for a reaction, but got none. He hated that McGarrett could be so fucking in control at all times, even now with the mention of that news. "I was told a couple of days ago that you would be taking over. You can understand my misgivings, giving the fact that I've been working diligently to catch the people responsible."

Steve raised an eyebrow over that. This guy had been working diligently for a year trying to track them, but yet he and Sean found them in less than two days, what the hell had he been doing the past year, taking notes instead of legwork? "So are you here to hand over the paperwork and the files, or are you here to inform me of those misgivings, because I'd rather have the files."

That was like a punch in the gut, so he decided to cut to the chase as requested. He opened the file in his hand and took out the numerous 5x7 photos and tossed them on the desk as they spread out. "I'm here about this," he barked. "Look familiar?"

Steve took a small glance at the photos of the compound, not needing to see more than one or two to know exactly what they were from. He didn't need to view them, he'd been the reason for them. "That looks like a mess," he said, commenting on the pictures of the numerous corpses in the same position he'd left them. "How'd it happen?"

"You tell me?" Benedict replied.

"How would I know, you're the head of the investigating team. You tell me."

"I know this was from you. I know you were in Jordan six days ago and I know you crossed the Iraqi border twice in the same day, the second time you came back was with a female American. Michelle McGarrett."

"I was there," Steve casually admitted. "My wife was in Jordan on business. She went across the border and I joined her in Iraq and then we both came home together. That's it."

"Then explain this…" Benedict said, reaching back in the briefcase. He took out Michelle's cell phone and set it on the desk by the pictures. "We ran the serial number of this phone we found at the compound, it belongs to your wife. The Sim card is missing, but the phone was hers."

"She lost her phone in Jordan," Steve lied. "It must have ended up there."

Benedict stared at him, not wanting to play the next hand, but knew Steve wasn't going to confess to him what he already knew. He didn't say another word, he just handed a white envelope to him and let him see for himself.

He kept the same composed expression as he took the envelope but his nerves began to unravel, not wanting to look inside at what it was he wanted him to see.

Benedict watched him as he took out the photos. He knew the one on top was the least disturbing of them all, but nonetheless, Steve's face went from unwavering strong to horribly painful in a matter of seconds. He knew he had hit his mark with him and turned his eyes away not needing to witness his anguish as he flipped to the next one, or the next, each one more disturbing than the last.

He felt his chest tighten as he viewed photos of Michelle taken by her captures. The first one she sat in a chair with her hands bound behind her back. Her tussled hair covered most of her face, but not enough for him to see the fear that she was so desperately trying to hide. He saw it only because he knew his wife. But it was the next ones that hit him the hardest, unable to hold in the sudden gasp that escaped from his throat that began to close up. Each picture revealed the anguish of her ordeal there. He had had a mental image of what it had been like for her, but seeing it first hand was like nothing he had wanted to imagine, knowing these pictures would be etched in his mind for the rest of his life.

He stopped halfway through and shoved them back into the envelope and went to the slightly ajar office door, closing it. He wanted to burn the photos, frightened now more than anything else that somehow she might see them.

"What do you want?" he asked, his voice mirroring his emotions that were in turmoil now.

"I know it was you that raided that compound," Benedict said calmly.

"What do you want, Clint?" he asked again.

"You act that as if what you did was completely justified."

Steve looked over at him appalled. His voice rising with his anger, "What the fuck did you expect me to do?! Sit on my ass and take notes like you seemed to have been doing over the past year while in the meantime my wife was being held captive and tortured!"

Benedict gritted his teeth, using his fingers as a diagram, "I was this close to moving in on that camp. What you did was not only morally wrong but against the law!"

"Against the law?!" Steve huffed. "What law?! Those people had no morals, and that place had no rules or followed no laws. I took action to save my wife's life."

"You just don't get it do you?" Benedict shook his head, angered that he had no regret over what he'd done. But it wasn't the lack of remorse that angered him the most, it was McGarrett's ability to swoop down on him once again and take over, leaving him looking like a failure, not wanting anyone to find out it was him that had beat him to the job. "You're not going to be able to get away with this." The arrogant actions that had taken place angered him. He also knew of Michelle's credentials, not able to fathom the egos between these two that resided in this house.

Steve held up the envelope, "Did you even look at these pictures?"

"Yes, they're very disturbing, I understand but…

"But nothing," Steve defended, "this is my wife! I did what I had to do," he tossed the envelope down on the desk, "and I'd do it again without even hesitating."

"That's what bothers me. Why did you re-enlist?"

He had no reply for him, not one that would satisfy his need to put this matter to rest. "What do you want, Clint?"

"Don't call me Clint again, Commander. I'm Captain Benedict to you now. You might have been able to slide by on some technicalities to get yourself re-instated, but I'm telling you now, you will not go unpunished for these crimes you've committed."

"What about the crimes and the threats against my wife?!" Steve shouted. "Where's her justice?! You can't stand there and tell me that if you were in the my position that you wouldn't do the exact same thing!"

"No," he said adamantly, "I wouldn't! There are ways of doing things and then there's this!" he held up the picture from the desk of the first man killed, lying next to the duffle bag.

Steve shook his head at him, stunned that he couldn't see his point on this. They both knew they had been sent out on missions before and killed the enemy for far less reasons than getting a loved one back. "I'm sorry," he said, not feeling one ounce of regret, "but I love my wife and there was no way I was going to leave her in that place for one second longer than I had too. If I interfered with your…investigation," he said sharply, "then that's just too fucking bad."

Both men held their ground, but it was Benedict that had the control over the situation and he knew it. He was in a position to do damage to his nemesis and had no qualm in doing so.

"I ask again," his voice low and threatening, "why did you re-enlist?"

Steve crossed his arms, "After that siege I got the itch to get back in the game."

"Bullshit. Bullshit!" he repeated louder. "Don't piss on my Navy uniform Commander and tell me it's raining, because that's exactly what you're doing! You're pissing on the flag of the United States, using it to fulfill your own personal need."

Steve leaned into him, pointing at his own chest, "Don't tell me my duty as a Naval Officer! The second I put that uniform back on that's exactly who I'll be! I'll defend my country just as strongly as I ever have."

"You mean defend your family, don't you Commander? Say it!" he snarled. "You know as well as I do the only reason you're back in was to go after the one that got away." He knew he'd proved his point of being there; seeing him flinch over that remark. He didn't need him to say it, he saw it loud and clear. "That's right, I know about the one that got away through the tunnel. We followed a trail of blood to the other side. He made it out you know, but I'm guessing that you already knew that. You didn't get a good enough shot to kill him, only clipped him." he held up the envelope with Michelle's pictures inside, "and the camera that was used to take these pictures, we got prints off of it, same person, but I'm guessing you already know that too."

Steve stood firm as Benedict walked around him, speaking to him as if he were a new recruit. He wanted to punch him to shut him up, but couldn't do or say a fucking word. Everything he said was the truth and he outranked him now as well, feeling his chances of getting the lead assignment he wanted slipping away.

"I'll work with you," Steve said, "I'll take a step back and follow your orders, just let me be on your team."

"I don't want you on my team," he said flatly. "I don't want you back in the Navy either."

Steve huffed, looking straight ahead as he stood behind him dangerously close, trying to unsuccessfully instill that fear of intimidation. "You seem to forget Captain that although you may outrank me, I have allies at the top that think I'm a pretty good soldier. I'm willing to work with you, even step back and let you take the lead, but don't think for a second that I'm backing down from this."

He was right on every aspect of what he said, he hated it but he was right, that's why he came there that day with an edge, assured he would need it, and he was right. He walked around him and reached back in the briefcase for the other envelope that had been untouched. He took out the papers inside and set them down on the desk. "Sign it," he said, putting a pen next to them.

"Sign what?"

"They exonerate you from your duties. Let's just say I created a forty-eight hour window for you to back out. Sign them."

Steve shook his head, "No. I told you…

"I'm not asking you Commander, I'm telling you, either sign them or I'll take the information that I have and I'll go straight to the top with it. Don't be so naïve Steve to think that over the past nine years that I haven't developed relationships too."

"What proof?" Steve argued. "You have a lot of hearsay and assumptions but you can't put me there."

"No, I can't," he agreed, "but we ran prints in a room of the compound that was ransacked and they matched up with two enlisted men that we can put there. Ironically enough they were both on the same flight as you that left Hawaii, and when I dug a little deeper I found that three of your fellow police officers were also on that flight. I know you didn't work alone overtaking that compound, even you aren't that good."

He could feel the threat from him even though he hadn't expressed it yet. "And if I don't sign?"

"I'll put together a report that will bring formal charges up on you, Lieutenant Sean Hays and Lieutenant Commander Jordan. They'll be a trial and you know as well as I do the minimum punishment will be a dishonorable discharge for all three of you." He picked up the pen. "I'm giving you a chance to back out, only because you did serve your country so bravely at one time and I think you deserve it, but if you try to go head to head with me on this Commander, you will lose and so will your partners, that includes the ones you work with here in Hawaii."

He was backed into a corner and had no way out. "Don't do this, Clint?" he said almost breathless, feeling his chances of catching the threat against his family vanish. "He threatened my wife. He threatened my kids. I'm just trying to protect my family."

"You're going about it the wrong way. I won't get caught up in your vengeance nor will I allow any of my men to become subject to it. Now sign."

"Please, Clint. My family means…" he stopped mid sentence, knowing it wouldn't do any good to grovel or plea, he wasn't going to win this battle. He had no choice but to sign. Sean, Jordan, Danny and the others had already done so much to help him; he couldn't ask anymore from them and risk ruining their lives. But the worst part was the mention of the trial, he knew then that everything would come out, all the things that Michelle didn't want anyone to ever know, it was inevitable and he wouldn't be able to protect her from it, unless he signed.

He stared at the papers feeling as helpless as he did that day in the cell in the airport. He didn't feel that same rage now as he did then, he just felt afraid. He reached for the pen, pulling his hand into a tight fist to prevent the shaking as he leaned over the papers, resting his other hand on the top of the desk, holding the forms in place at the top corner. He stared at the spot where he would put his signature, picking up the pen as he wondered where he would go from here, setting the tip on the designated line. He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes as he signed it.

Benedict picked up the form almost before he had finished crossing the t's. He folded it back up and set it in the briefcase, gathering up the photos on the desk as well. He held the pictures of Michelle in the white envelope and started to put them away when Steve reached for them, gripping the other half.

"I want these. I don't want them out floating around. My wife went through hell in that place and I don't want them surfacing where anywhere they could end up hurting her. She doesn't want anyone to know what happened there."

Benedict let go, not needing them anymore anyway but it wasn't his asking that gave way to his letting them up, it was the way he asked. He heard in his voice and saw in his pleading expression that concern for his wife. It sank in just then why he had done what he had. Even though it was over and done with, he was still trying to protect her. It made him feel guilty as a husband, realizing his duty as one wouldn't even have skimmed the water compared to how deep this man's had gone. He still didn't agree with his tactics but at least he had a clearer understanding now of why he had done what he had.

He picked up the briefcase and opened the office door.

Michelle stood up from the couch, focusing on her husband nervously, considering the time they spent talking as well as the heated words that were heard but not understood through the door.

Benedict was taken back by the woman standing before him; seeing the pictures of her was one thing, but seeing the real deal standing in front of him was something entirely different. She wore a baseball hat but he could see first hand the damage that had been inflicted.

"Is everything ok?" she asked, seeing her husband's grim expression.

Steve smiled as he went toward her, having left the pictures in the office. "Everything's fine." he assured her, putting a hand on her cheek to ease her worry, knowing she'd be happy about the results. "This is Captain Benedict." He turned to him, "Clint, this is my wife, Michelle."

"Lieutenant Baker?" he smiled, "I read up on your service in the Navy, very commendable." He remembered reading where she had received the Navy Expeditionary Medal, and then suddenly recalled why; she had saved her Commander's life, Steve.

"Thank you," she replied graciously with a smile, "I haven't heard 'Lieutenant Baker' in a long time." she patted Steve's belly, "I like 'McGarrett' better."

Benedict was surprised by the calm interaction with his wife, having once again a false assumption that Steve would come out yelling over the events that had just taken place, but on the contrary the quick change in him was unexpected, not having to know him to understand once again that this wasn't some narcissistic man in which he had envisioned, nor was the ego in this house over inflated by two ex Navy Seals as he had presumed. Steve was acting solely out of the regards for his wife, simply because he loved her.

"Commander, could I see you outside for just a another moment please? Ma'am, it was nice meeting you," he said with a nod.

Michelle looked from Steve to the man and then back at her husband who continued to stare at her, she knew something was up and it wasn't good from what she could tell from his point of view.

"I'll be right back," he said to her, "go outside with the kids. I'll be out in a minute, and then we'll talk."

"Ok." She smiled at Benedict as she went past him back down the hall, looking over her shoulder at them while they exited the house. ' _Please,_ ' she thought, ' _no curve balls, I can't take another hit.'_

Once outside they stood by his truck. "What can you tell me about the man in the tunnel, Steve?"

He was a little hesitant about helping him, but put his frustration aside, considering any help he could give him would be a step closer to finding this guy. "He's an American, five ten, five eleven, bald, stocky, tattoos up and down his arms, about a hundred and eighty pounds. I'm pretty sure he has some kind of military background."

He nodded, getting a mental image of the man. That image also produced a visual of him hitting Michelle, which angered him. "The blood in the tunnel," he said to Steve, "we'll run some DNA tests on it and check the prints we found. If he's military we'll catch him. I'll let you know what we find out." He knew what he was doing was wrong, giving him this information but he felt he owed him something, especially Michelle.

Steve nodded, confused as to why he was throwing this gift out to him after all that had just happened, but he'd take it. "Thank you. I'd appreciate that." As he turned to leave Steve stuck his hand out to him.

Benedict glanced at it and then up at him, he managed to shock him once again. He took the gesture and gripped it tightly, "Commander."

"Captain."

He stood in the driveway until he left. He wasn't sure which emotion he should feel, angry, disappointed or relieved, but knew exactly which Michelle would. As he went back inside he studied the front door, never considering it sturdy enough compared to the size of the house. His reasoning beforehand was cosmetic, but now it was security.

Michelle came down the hallway greeting him while Clair and the kids sat on the lanai. "Just rip the band-aid off quick and tell me," she said to him.

"You want the quick low down?"

"Yes."

"I'm not leaving tomorrow…or today," he quickly assured her, "I'm not going at all."

Seeing her face light up over that was almost worth the whole thing. ' _God she's beautiful_ ,' he thought to himself.

"Oh my God, Steve, are you serious? I'm not even going to ask how or why," she said happily, feeling her nerves relax but her heart begin to jump for joy.

He opened his arms, "Show me how happy you are."

She leapt into arms, wrapping hers tightly around his neck as she squeezed him. "I'm so happy! I'm so, so happy!" she shouted, kissing his cheek over and over.

He laughed and hugged her back, seeing the girls come inside over hearing their mother's glee. They didn't care what it was about, all they saw was the their mother and father hugging, rushing in and joining the celebration, to them this was a clear sign that life was back to normal again.

It filled him with a happiness he couldn't even describe over the three women in his life hugging him so tightly. He put a hand on each of the girl's heads pulling them in closer as they laughed over the gesture that made them feel safe and secure.

The tension of having to leave them and worse yet, having to see the disappointment on their faces over it slid off his shoulders, but as he held them all tightly, a new stress took its place, the effort of trying to keep them all safe and secure from that moment on.

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 _ **Author note: Sorry it's taken me so long to update, but I've never strayed from my own writing before to satisfy others until now. You wanted him to stay, so he's staying.**_ _ **I'm kind of taking this story in a new direction so the updates might be a little more spread out than normal. I have to write each chapter as I go because I deleted the others I had already written, so bare with me. (please don't take that as a negative, I'm enjoying this) Thanks for reading!**_


	12. Chapter 12

Steve lay on his side, looking at the girls between he and Michelle in their bed. He stroked a hand over Ellen's hair and then pulled the covers up over all three of them as they slept soundly, all snuggled together. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this content. He looked over at Michelle and smiled at the peaceful expression on her face, glad they were home and she was exactly where she was supposed to be. He'd done what he had set out to do. He'd brought her home safely.

She looked beautiful, not able to resist the urge as he reached over and softly glided his hand over her cheek, careful not to wake her. It was probably the best night sleep she'd had since she had left home ten days before. She deserved the rest. She deserved to be happy, he thought. She was a good person. She'd been an outstanding soldier and fought bravely for her country, risking her life to save others. He knew first hand of her bravery. He'd witnessed it once while pinned down behind some rocks and then again when she was a Secret Service agent. She stood in the line of fire of an oncoming car full of explosives, stopping it before it could kill others. He admired her more than anyone one else in the world. She deserved all the happiness in it as well, he thought. Never wanting her to experience anything like she had ever again. It was up to him to make sure her expression remained as peaceful as it was now.

He slowly slipped out of bed and went out the door, closing it. He went down the stairs and into the office.

The white envelope was tucked under some files in the bottom drawer, out of sight, just where he had left it. He picked up the metal garbage can next to the desk, taking them both out on the back deck.

He set the can down by the lounger that he and Michelle often frequented on nights after the kids had gone to bed, setting the envelope on the ground next to it. The lighter used to ignite the BBQ would also be the flame that would destroy the pictures that he never wanted her or anyone else to see.

He sat down on the edge of the cushion and pulled the can over between his legs, taking out the first picture and flicking the lighter, setting the corner of it on fire, watching it burn and then dropping it in the can as it disintegrated to ash.

He repeated it over and over, forcing himself to look at them, seeing what she had gone through. Her bravery and desire to survive was an inspiration to him. She stood alone on a pedestal that he looked up to, feeling that overwhelming honor of being the one she had chosen. He didn't know how or what he done to deserve her, but he cherished it more than anything else. Viewing the photos at the end of the pile became more difficult to look at, but he felt he owed it to her to experience what she had. They were a team and if she went through it then he would too.

The last two photos brought tears to his eyes, staring at the image of her battered and bruised body, lying on the hard cement floor. Her hair lay in a pile next to her as if he had staged it that way. The taking of the pictures was bad enough but he couldn't help but wonder what his motives were. Did he do it for pleasure or was it strictly for the ransom to show they were in charge in order to get more money. He had the eerie feeling it was the first of the two, which was disturbing in its own right.

He let the last one fall in the can and watched it slowly curl as the flame consumed it, wiping his face off from his own despair; glad he had burned them. He wished it was a closure to this nightmare that had plagued his family but somehow he knew he wouldn't rest peacefully until he was sure the beast was contained.

He heard the sliding door behind him open and turned seeing her coming toward him wrapped in a throw from the couch. He didn't try to hide the evidence, not needing to anymore. He moved the can to the side as she sat down next to him.

She could see the results of whatever he was burning in the can and on his face. She had stood on the lanai of their bedroom watching him after she had woken up and went looking for him. Whatever it was, she knew it was disturbing enough to make him cry, witnessing him clearing the moisture from his eyes several times, hoping that the pain he felt from it was gone now too.

She put a hand on his leg as she looked at him tenderly, understanding that quote that he so eloquently shared with her. ' _When you hurt, I hurt_.'

"Do you want to tell me what happened today with Captain Benedict?"

He held no secrets from her, not having a reason to. She believed in him and he knew he could trust her with anything he said. "He knows we were there," he began, "all of us, Me, Sean, Jordan, Danny and Chin and Kono. He said he'd bring charges up on all of us if I didn't sign the papers releasing me from my duties. The least that could happen would Sean and Jordan would be dishonorably discharged."

"So you felt you had no choice then. How do you feel about it now?" She needed to know how to deal with what he was feeling, whether it be frustration, anger or fear, and needing more than anything else to know his thoughts on where he would go from here.

He shrugged slightly, "I feel relieved that I'm not going," he put his hand over hers that rested on his leg, "I didn't want to leave you, but at the same time I feel helpless, and you know me, I don't do well with that emotion."

"I'm sorry to tell you this Commander, and I don't mean to make light of what you are feeling, but I have never once since knowing you ever considered you helpless."

He smiled over that.

She pointed at the evidence wondering if that had something to do with it. "What were you burning in the garbage can?"

He glanced over at it and then out at the water, not wanting to tell her, but also knowing it wasn't something he should keep from her either.

"Is it a need to know basis?" she asked, giving him an out, but then again wanting him to be able to trust her, hoping he would.

He looked over at her, telling himself again how strong and resilient she was. "They were pictures," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "Pictures of you."

She was confused at first and then all at once she understood, piecing together the compound raid that the Captain knew of, and knowing that they had photographed her at least two times that she could recall.

"Of me?" she questioned. "While I was there?" she asked in the same despondent tone.

He only nodded, recalling the last two photos as his eyes began to well up again, wondering if he would ever be able to picture it without being emotionally effected by them, assuming not, but considered it only a minor discomfort to actually having gone through it. He bent his head and squeezed her hand. "I didn't want you to ever see them so I burned them."

"Did you look at them, or just burn them?" but she knew already by his body language that he had looked at them.

He swallowed down the dryness in his throat and faced her again, "I looked at them. Only because I love you and I didn't want you to go through this alone. When you're hurting because of those pictures, I wanted to understand," he choked back his words, "I do now, because I saw what you went through."

She put a hand on his face as he bent his head again, witnessing the love he truly had for her because of his sensitive reaction over those pictures. He was never more of a man to her than when he exposed that gentler side of himself that he kept hidden and protected from others. It just made her respect him all the more.

"I want to kill him for what he did to you, Michelle." his voice mixed with heartbreak and frustration, feeling it more so after seeing what he had done. "I want him dead!"

"I know," she said, sympathizing over his anguish. "I know you do. I know you wanted to go and find him and make him pay, and I wanted that too. I wanted it so badly that I even went as far as getting you sucked into that hatred and anger and fear. I led you down that path, but I think that man coming here today was the best thing that could have happened. Revenge isn't always the answer. You need to let it go."

"How?"

She guided his face in her direction, forcing him to look at her, "The same way I did, by taking full advantage of this relationship that you and I have."

He looked at her peculiarly. "You're not angry anymore?"

"Yes, I am, but look around you. Look at what we have, but more importantly look at what we have to lose. The minute I found out I was pregnant I refused to let it fester inside of me any longer. I want him to pay for what he did, but not at the expense of you and I. If it comes down to that, which it almost did, then I chose you over revenge any day." She smiled at him, "That's how I did it."

"What if he never pays for what he did? What if you never get the justice you deserve?"

"He'll pay," she said knowingly. "Somehow, someway, he'll pay. A person doesn't live the way he lives without consequences. He may not pay directly for what he did to me, but I believe his actions one day will cost him dearly for all the wrongs he's done in his life. Oh, he'll pay."

He let that soak in, gathering wisdom from her words. She was so much stronger than he was. She proved that so many times before, including now. If it were anyone else telling him that, he'd write it off as bad judgment, but coming from her he took it as the gospel truth. "I don't know how you do it," he said to her.

"You just have to let it go, I…"

"No," he interrupted, "I don't mean that. I get what you're saying; I mean, I don't know how you cease to amaze me all the time. Just when I think I have you all figured out, you find new ways to open my eyes and help me see what I'm missing." He slid his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. "You're right, I think Clint coming here today was the best thing that could have happened. I couldn't see the broader picture. Thank you for showing me that."

She smiled shyly over his admiration of her, "I think you would have figured it out."

"No, I wouldn't. And if anyone else tried to tell me, I still wouldn't get it."

"We compliment each other very well don't we?" she smiled.

Steve huffed, "What do you learn from me? Not much."

"You taught me how to stand on my own. Don't you remember that Commander? If you like this person who you married, then you deserve the credit for it. Those six months I spent with you in training made me who I am today. I survived those four days being held in that place because of you. That's what I learned."

His love for her had no limits. He knew if he lived to be a hundred he still wouldn't reach that place where he felt he couldn't love her any more than he did. He didn't say it in words, but expressed it in a kiss as he leaned over to her, giving her one that articulated everything he was feeling.

He was a master at turning her insides to mush, feeling like a teenage girl being kissed for the first time by the boy that she dreamt of every night. He might have taught her about standing on her own but if she had to select the greatest lesson learned from him, it had to be this. They had no margins when it came to intimacy. She never felt shy or unsure of herself and never made him feel that way either. They might have complimented each other in life but when it came to their sex life, it was as if they were meant to be together.

She cupped the back of his neck and kissed him deeper, setting off the tone of what was to come as she rose up and straddled his lap, all the while keeping that tone in perfect sync with him.

That simple move set his body in motion on a path that proved his desire for her. He wanted her so bad at this point there was no way to stop it.

"Here?" he questioned, breaking from her lips just long enough to get a confirmation.

She squeezed her thighs around his bare waist, already feeling his want for her, knowing this was his favorite position. "Sooner the better," she replied, kissing him again.

They felt no worries of being discovered, considering it was three in the morning and the only view of their property was from the ocean.

They worked together eliminating the barriers of their lower extremities without actually undressing. She wrapped the blanket around their waists and then rose up just enough as he guided himself inside her. She lowered down on him as they both let out a quiet gasp over the feel of it.

She felt his hands move up under her nightshirt and grip her back with his fingertips as she slowly moved on him.

He could hardly catch his breath over the sensations that rippled through him. It wasn't just her body that pleasured him; it was the woman inside of her that he was most attracted to. He'd been with others, but none of them, not once ever made him feel what she could. It was indescribable.

She watched him, enjoying the rewarding effect she could inflict upon him. She always admired his good looks but never so much as when they were together like this. They way he would look at her was sexy as hell, often times moving her to that next level sooner than she had anticipated.

He leaned back, bracing a hand behind him on the lounger, keeping his other arm tightly around her waist, helping the cause as he felt that wonderful stirring inside of him begin to evolve. The lead up to it could be just as gratifying as the actual event.

"Oh my God, Michelle," he moaned, knowing he had a duty to fulfill to her first, keeping that obligation as he sat up again, gripping her waist with both of his hands, looking up at her as he used her own body as a means to achieve his goal.

She enjoyed the feel of him as he controlled the movement, gripping onto his shoulders. It hit her within minutes, wishing she could scream out but instead held it in which only made it that much more intense, watching as the very same sensation poured over him.

She rested in the same position when it was over, looking down at him as he smiled up at her, still holding her close up against his body.

"Thank you for that," he panted, basking in the sweet aftermath.

She giggled quietly, "You're welcome. We won't be able to make love in this position for much longer due to the baby," she reminded him.

"Any position is fine with me, as long as it's with you."

She kissed him for that. "Always."

"I won't ever leave you again," he said truthfully.

"Promise?"

"I promise." He moved his hands up and down her back, speaking sincerely. "I just want you to be happy, Michelle."

"I am. I'm happy when we're all together."

That answer pleased him.

"Always," he smiled.

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Clair knelt down on the ground and hugged both Elie and Ellen tightly. "I'm going to miss you so much. I can't wait until you are old enough to fly and then you can come out and visit me as much as you want."

"We're going to miss you too, Nana."

"When are you going to come back?" Elie asked her.

"Clair looked up at both Steve and Michelle. "As often as possible."

They both smiled, liking the sound of that. The past two weeks since Michelle had returned home there had been a shift in she and her mother's relationship. They had formed a bond closer than ever before, discovering just how much they actually needed each other. It was Clair that finally decided it was time to head home. She felt she had done all she could and that they needed to be alone as a family again, not that she felt in the way, it was just time for her to go.

Michelle was home every day now and with the generous severance package that Bryan had arranged from her previous job, along with Steve's income and her trust, they had plenty of money for her to stay home and take care of the girls from now on, especially with the baby coming. Neither she nor Steve wanted her to go back to work anyway, so it was settled.

Clair stood up and hugged Steve next.  
"You don't have to leave you know," he said to her.

"Don't worry, Michelle has all my recipes."

He chuckled, hugging her tighter. "Thank you for that."

"I love you honey, be well and take good care of my babies."

"I will," he promised, squeezing her. "I love you too, Clair. You give the term Mother-in-law a whole new meaning."

She let go and patted his cheek tenderly.

She and Michelle both teared up as they hugged next.

"I'm going to miss you, Mom."

"Oh my goodness," Clair said, "I never thought I would hear those words from you."

They both laughed.

"You take care of yourself," Clair lectured her. "Don't do too much too soon and if you feel overwhelmed in the last few weeks just call and I'll come out to help, otherwise I'll see you after the baby is born."

"Ok, thanks Mom. I…I love you so much," she choked up.

"I love you to, Darling. Take care of this wonderful family."

"I will."

They squeezed each other once more before letting go. She waved to them as she got in the back of the rented sedan. The driver closed the door and got in the other side. They waited until she went out the gate and was gone before they put their hand's down.

Steve put his arm around Michelle, never seeing her cry before at the parting of her mother. "You ok?"

She nodded, laying her head on his shoulder. "Its just the first time in my life that I really feel that my mother came through for me." She turned into him and began to sob.

Ellen and Elie both looked up at her as she cried.

"Does Mommy miss Nana Clair already?" Ellen asked.

"Yes," Steve said, keeping an arm around her and putting one on Ellen's head. "Why don't you and your sister go inside and watch TV, we'll be in in a minute."

"Don't be sad Mommy," she said, before turning and running inside, never given permission to watch TV this early in the day, while Elie stood and looked somberly up at her Mother, reaching out and gently putting a hand on her leg. "You can call her tomorrow," she said passively. "That might make you feel better."

Michelle wiped her eyes and smiled down at her. "You're right. I think that will make me feel better." She pulled her in against she and Steve's leg, "Thank you sweetie."

She squeezed both her parents and then followed her sister inside.

Steve wiped his thumb under Michelle's eyes, "A lot to take in over the past couple of weeks. Are you sure you're holding up alright?"

She smiled through her tears, "Yes."

He glanced over toward the front door to make sure they were alone and then focused back on her. "I worry about you. I know you say you feel fine, but…" he hesitated, wanting to talk to her about this subject but just never knowing the right time, but also hating that he'd been putting it off too. "Are you sure you feel ok? I know being home again has been really good for you, but I also know what you went through, and was wondering if maybe you were…I mean, it's ok if you feel like you should talk to someone, about what happened."

She understood what he was saying and even more so that he cared enough to say it. "You don't have to beat around the bush Steve. If you are asking me whether or not I should see a psychologist because of what happened, it's ok. It's an important subject that we need to discuss."

He spread his hands out, "I can't say this is the most ideal place or time, but what are your feelings on it?"

She guided him over to a small bench that was by the front door, left there by the previous owners. They kept it because the girls thought it was cute because it could only seat two people.

"Honestly, I feel good. I think a lot of it has to do with you not leaving, and being able to talk to you about what happened. We've had some pretty serious conversations."

He nodded in agreement. "I know. That's helped?"

"More than you know. It's been the best therapy for me I think. Also, my mother being here to help out cut my stress level in half, not to mention she was just as wonderful as I could have hoped for in the mother department. I don't want to say that I may never want to see someone about what happened, but I feel ok right now. I really do."

He took her hand, "Ok, but don't ever feel at any time, I mean any time, that it will be a bad time. I don't care if you're knee deep in labor, if you feel like you need it, then tell me, or just go. You don't even have to tell me. It's your decision."

She leaned over and kissed him for that. "And if you ever feel that I need it, then you tell me." She tilted her head looking at him. "Do you? Do you think I need it?"

"I think you're doing great. I don't see a need for it right now, if you don't."

Michelle smiled, "Ok then. How about to celebrate our family being back to just the four of us, we take the girls to Duke's for dinner tonight?"

"Sounds good to me." He was happy that she didn't have any qualms about going out with her hair still so short. She told him once that if the brave women with cancer could do it then she sure as hell could.

They stood up together. "I'm craving that Hummas they make at Duke's. You know the sun dried tomato one?"

Steve laughed, "Of course I remember it, you made me stop every night on the way home when you were pregnant with the girls and get you some."

"It wasn't every night," she argued as they went in the house, "it was like three times a week."

"Five!" he disagreed, laughing. "Ask Danny. We even stopped a couple of times while we were over there for a case because we knew you'd be calling."

She put an arm around his waist, "I'll try to find a more convenient craving with this baby. You know what sounds good, that shrimp truck, Macky's up on the North Shore."

"North Shore," he yelled. She squealed as he lifted her up, tickling her at the same time. "Tease me will you," he laughed, slamming the door shut with his foot.

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"Nick, what are you doing?"

He looked up from his father's computer, seeing him standing at the door of their home office. He falsely heard the accusing tone in his voice, as if he assumed he was doing something wrong. "Nothing, just looking over some job postings," he lied, clearing the screen.

"What kind of jobs, maybe I can help out."

"I doubt it," he huffed, "It has nothing to do with standing at attention or storming a country."

"I'm just trying to help, Nick. You seem to be on my computer night and day but still haven't gone out on one interview."

"Would you rather I go to the library?" he huffed.

"No, you're fine." It was a catch-22, he was glad he was home and knew he was safe, but at the same time he hated it. "How long do you think you'll be staying here, Nick?"

And there it was. He'd only been home for two weeks and already the question of when he was going to get out was placed before him. "I don't know Dad, how long do I have?"

"Maybe instead of looking at jobs you should look at an education? You could start out at a Community College and then go to a University to finish up."

"Don't start with school again. Those are your plans, Dad, not mine."

"Then what are your plans?" he asked with an irritated tone. "I'd like to know." He hated that they couldn't have a normal conversation, wondering what he had done to him that was so bad to make him hate him so much.

"I don't know, maybe I'll move to Hawaii and live on the beach. I could take up surfing and be an instructor. Would that be far enough away for you?"

"Why do you have to live your life like a bum?! Stand up and face life for what it is."

"What is it, Dad? Please enlighten me on the perils of life like you do all your new recruits."

"At least they have a purpose!" he yelled. "They committed to something and followed through. What have you ever committed to? Nothing! Nothing but roaming around and pretending to be a what they really are!"

"You don't know anything about me!" he fired back, wishing that he could tell him his real talent of breaking those soldiers that he was so proud of. They weren't as tough as he thought. His thoughts went to Michelle just then, hating again that she, a woman, had outsmarted him. He slammed the laptop closed and stood up. "I'm a better soldier than any of those fucking pussies that you ever trained."

That hit a nerve, "Defending women and children in a village my ass," he grunted, recalling the story he'd told him, and then had to suffer through it again as he told his mother. "Why don't you fess up and tell me the real truth behind that wound! Don't you ever compare yourself to a United States soldier, boy! You haven't got what it takes!"

"Stop!" his mother screamed, appearing at the door. "Please, stop!"

Nick came storming around the corner of the desk, "Don't worry Mom, it's over!" He stopped next to his father before walking out, looking at him with all the built up hatred he'd harbored for as long as he could remember. "It's defiantly over!" He bumped his shoulder as he went out the door.

"Nick," his mother said passively as he blew past her as well. "Nick, honey," she begged, following him up the stairs.

His father stood in the middle of the room steaming. He was a bad seed, that boy, he thought. It pained him that he was his son. The disrespect for his country and his family had gone on long enough. He wanted him out. Life was peaceful at home until he walked in the door; from that moment on it was chaos. He wanted him out.

He went to the laptop and opened it back up, pulling up the history to get an idea of what jobs he was searching for. He scrolled down, not seeing anything that resembled job listings in the history. Most of it was Hawaii websites. He clicked on one and up came a picture of a couple from a newspaper clipping. He read the caption below it…

 _'The head of Governor Denning's Hawaii Five-0 task team, Commander Steven McGarrett, accepts an award on behalf of his team for excellence in job performance at the annual Governor's Ball last Saturday night. He's pictured with his wife, Michelle.'_

He scrolled down, wondering what it was that held his interest on this page. He closed it and pulled up another one from the history, seeing the same man, Steve McGarrett, only the article this time spoke of a drug bust on Oahu. He closed it and pulled up another that was of a map of Oahu and people search for Government agencies, the search results were for the headquarters of 'Hawaii Five 0'.

He sat back in his chair, looking at the screen, wondering if maybe Nick was interested in becoming a police officer. That might be right up his path, he thought hopefully. He couldn't deny that him moving to Hawaii just might be a win, win situation for both of them.

He went back to the article of the drug bust and read it over, impressed by this man McGarrett, who led a team that answered only to the Governor. It seemed Nick was impressed as well, considering there were several searches for this McGarrett fellow that was ex-military, but what he found most intriguing was that none of the members of his team seemed to have military background. That also gave him hope that maybe this man was someone that Nick could relate too, god knows even though he was his father, they never could see eye to eye.

He closed the laptop and went upstairs knocking on his son's door.

"What?"

He went in just as he was undressing for the night. "Are you interested in law enforcement in Hawaii, Nick?"

He should have deleted the history, he thought irritably. "You just couldn't resist snooping around and checking up on me, could you Dad?"

"You left the pages open on my laptop," he argued and then took a deep breath, waving off the argument. "What I'm trying to say son, is that I know people in Hawaii that might be able to get you in touch with this McGarrett fellow that you were searching. He seems very impressive and who knows maybe this is your calling."

 _'Impressive,'_ he thought bitterly, _'of course he would think that.'_ "What do you mean, my calling?"

"If you are interested in joining the Hawaii Police Department, maybe I could help. I was thinking that if this is what you want, then I'd be willing to finance the trip for you."

Nick stared at him wanting to laugh in his face. He knew it was just another ploy to get rid of him but couldn't believe his old man just offered to foot the bill to help inch his way closer to his target. "You know what Dad. I am interested in that. I heard about this guy, McGarrett guy from some Hawaiians when I was in Jordan; his wife is ex-military too, you'd be impressed. I was hoping to touch base with him and maybe get an interview or at least some pointers. What better place to be a cop than Hawaii."

"It's expensive there," his father said.

"I know, but I really think I could make a difference. I just didn't want to tell you about it because I thought you'd shoot it down."

"I want you to find something in your life Nick that means something to you. Something worth striving for."

He smiled, feeling a jolt of excitement, thinking of Michelle and how he couldn't wait to see her crawl before him when they met up again. "I do have something to strive for, Dad. It's there. I can feel it."

He'd never seen him with that look in his eyes before, almost as if he were really, truly excited about this. "Ok then. I'll make some calls tomorrow and we'll talk about money too."

"I know it's expensive there Dad, and if I have to go to the Police Academy I won't be able to get a job to support myself through it."

"I paid for your sister's education, I think I owe it to you to pay for yours too then. How does fifteen thousand sound? I think that can get you a decent place, maybe not on the beach but decent enough and pay for whatever you need to get started."

He felt a flutter in his stomach; fifteen thousand could get him anything and everything he needed to bring that bitch and her husband who tried to kill him to their knees. "That would be great," he smiled thankfully. "Thanks, Dad."

He nodded, pleased with himself and then just before leaving he pointed at the chain around his neck with the ring at the end of it, thinking that it was an odd thing for him to be wearing, never seeing it before. "What is that around your neck?"

He looked down and held the ring with his fingers, recalling when he had pulled it off her finger, being reminded again how she had slipped away to soon. "It belonged to a girl that I met in Jordan."

He moved closer, looking at the expensive diamond ring. "She gave that to you?" he asked, looking at him peculiarly.

"No, I was going to give it to her." He felt a little sympathy would be a plus right about now, making him look vulnerable in his father's eyes. "She was killed in a road side bombing."

"Jesus, Nick," his father said shocked, not knowing about any girl that he was that attached too, but then again he really didn't know him at all.

"She was special," he said sadly. "She was like no woman I had ever met. But I know someday we'll see each other again." He pictured her kneeling on the floor in front of him, so close to defeat he could smell the victory.

"I'm sorry, Son," he said sympathetically, putting a hand on his shoulder. "What was her name?"

He looked up at him, "Michelle," he replied, masking the hatred he felt for all three of them.

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Steve woke up out of a dead sleep, sitting up in bed. He quickly looked over at Michelle to make sure she was there and even went as far as reaching over and touching her just to be sure. He didn't know what it was that woke him up so quickly not recalling a dream, but as he was contemplating that thought he heard an unfamiliar noise downstairs.

He held still for a moment glancing toward the bedroom door that was slightly ajar, feeling his heart accelerate, all sorts of thoughts began to creep through his mind over what it was, but one stood out in particular as his imagination began to get the better of him.

He heard it again and reached over to the nightstand, pulling out his gun from the top drawer that he had begun to keep there. He reached in the bottom drawer next, opening a small box and taking out the clip, slipping it inside. He kept them separate so if the girls happened upon it that it would never be loaded, even though they both knew the dangers of guns.

He slid out of bed keeping the safety on, and went toward the door, listening intently for any signs of an intruder downstairs. He looked back over at his sleeping wife and then made his way down the hall. He stopped at the girl's room first, slowly opening the door and seeing them both sleeping. He closed it all the way before he proceeded to the stairs, bending over just slightly to try and get a glimpse of the dark living room. It was all clear as he slowly went down, keeping the gun down at his side.

He counted off the entrances to the house from the first level, checking each one as he made his way through, starting with the flimsy front door that he cursed himself for still being there, checking the lock before moving the curtains on the front bay window and scanning the driveway, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

He turned quickly, hearing that same noise, louder this time coming from the other direction in the back of the house, raising his gun this time and using his one finger to flip the safety off. He made his way down the hallway as his eyes scanned the area, his senses on full alert.

He stopped just at the end of the hall as it opened up to the kitchen and large family room, visually checking the sliding glass wall door that led out to the lanai. The sheer curtains that covered them were thin enough to show him that they were closed. He reached around the corner with his left hand and felt for the light switch for the kitchen, turning it on.

"Steve?" Michelle whispered, coming up behind him.

He wiped around, leaning back against the wall but only got the weapon up halfway before seeing it was she and then dropping it back to his side.

She gasped, putting her hand over heart, startled and frightened over his behavior.

"Jesus Christ Michelle," he panted, "you scared the shit out of me."

"What are you doing? What's going on?!" She glanced past him to the lighted room, fearing the worst. The girls safety was her first thought, almost going as far as taking a step backward to the stairs as he bent over bracing his hands on his knees, obviously just as startled as she was.

"What is it?" her voice shaky.

"I heard…" he paused hearing the same noise again as he stood up quickly, gripping the gun in his hand at his side as he looked toward the kitchen. "What the hell is that noise coming from?" he asked irritably.

She let out a sigh of relief and went toward him, looking just as annoyed at him as she went from his eyes to his gun and then back up again. She went past him into the kitchen and stopped at the counter and pointed, "It's the dishwasher."

His expression went beyond confused, "The dishwasher? Why the hell is the dishwasher running at two in the morning?"

Michelle rolled her eyes, "Because the girls wanted separate baths and I didn't want them running out of hot water so I used the timer to set the dishwasher to run six hours later."

He shook his head rubbing his hand over his mouth, relieved, flustered and a little embarrassed.

She went to him, glancing down at the gun again. "You really felt like you needed that?"

He flipped the safety back on with his finger, "I heard something. But the thing is, I woke up first and then I heard it. I think. Or I heard it in my sleep." He shook his head. "I don't know. I've never heard it before."

"You got spooked," she replied understandably.

He tilted his head just slightly over that remark, narrowing his eyes as he looked at her, "I don't get spooked. I heard a noise. I came to investigate."

"With a loaded gun," she replied with a raised eyebrow.

He looked down at the weapon in his hand, "Yes, just as a precaution."

"But you weren't spooked?"

He let out a low growl. "Ok," he caved, "maybe a little."

Michelle shrugged, "I don't see what the issue is with that." She reached down and took the gun from his hand, putting her other one in his, "Come on, let's leave that scary dishwasher be to do its job and go back to bed."

He felt that remark was uncalled for as he switched the light off in the kitchen and followed behind her. They got to the end of the stairs when he stopped, pulling on her hand, speaking in a low voice but the tone was still clear. "Hey, I'm just a little taken back by your remark back there."

She stood on the step above him. "Which one? The one about being spooked?"

He let go of her hand, feeling his irritation climaxing to anger. "You know what, I heard something; I came down to see what it was. In light of everything that's happened I would think you would understand that." He took the gun back from her hand.

"I do," she whispered calmly, "I do Steve, but when it happens twice in the past three days, I feel you're being paranoid." She wished she could suck that word back in, but it was too late.

"Paranoid?!" he whispered loudly, trying to hold his irritation at bay considering the time of night. "Paranoid?! he repeated, considering it a low blow and an insult to his natural instincts.

"I know you got up two nights ago too and looked over the house and I know you had your gun because I heard you put it away."

"So what?! Would you rather I lay in bed and ignore it?"

"No," she sighed, feeling guilty for making him feel foolish when all he was really doing was protecting them. "But you can't keep this up."

"So what's the answer then, Dr. Fraud?" he whispered sarcastically. "Therapy? Sleeping pills? Or maybe I should just learn to control my paranoia!" he growled, going past her up the stairs.

She rolled her eyes, more at herself than at his childish pouting reply as she turned and followed him up. She kept quiet until they reached the bedroom and past the girls room. "I didn't mean you were paranoid. Bad choice of words." She closed the door behind her as he sat on the edge of the bed and slipped the clip out of the gun and let it fall into his hand, dropping it in the bottom drawer and then putting the gun away in the top, closing both of them just a little too loudly.

"Shhh," she hushed him. "You'll wake up the girls."

He laid down, pulling the covers over him. "Sorry, but I'm just a little pissed off right now, I guess that paranoia has got the better of me!"

He rolled over with his back to her side of the bed.

She knew that was a huge sign that he was really mad. They seldom slept back to back, and never, ever went to sleep that way. It wasn't a premeditated decision they had agreed upon, they just didn't. This argument was her fault and she accepted that, needing to remedy the situation quickly or she knew there would be no sleep for either of them. He was wide awake and stewing in the dark, that was a fact.

She lay down on her side of the bed on her back and looked over at him, trying to come up with the words that would both help her cause and ease his anger at the same time.

He stared at the wall thinking about the night before last and why he had got up that night as well, not knowing that she knew he had. He recalled again, waking up and just feeling the sense that something wasn't right. He wasn't used to this new house yet, knowing all the sounds of his old one that he could ignore in the middle of the night if heard, but this one was so much bigger and just simply new to him, but nonetheless he thought angrily, after all that had happened, he felt he had the right to feel overly cautious. She just didn't have to call him paranoid, he thought bitterly, considering that word used on people who had lost control. He wasn't being paranoid!

"I'm sorry," she finally said to him, knowing it was really all she needed to say and what he wanted to hear. She tried to understand his reasoning, even if she didn't fully agree with it, but she trusted him. It was just that life had been so normal around the house lately. She just wanted things to go back to normal again, wanting it to be like it used to be and it was beginning to feel that way, and then he started getting up.

He felt her apology was somewhat sincere, but still didn't let a simple two-word phrase alleviate the anger he was harboring. It was his stubborn side that was still fighting to stay alive when he felt her roll over and move up against him, putting her arm over his waist.

"I'm sorry, Steve," she whispered to him, hating that his anger was because of her. "You didn't deserve that." She waited for his reply, holding steady in her position, hoping for some sign of forgiveness but wasn't getting one, fearing that maybe she had wounded him worse than she thought.

He wanted to be angry with her for what she had said, but felt it slowly disappearing. He knew if he kept up the pouting until morning that she probably wouldn't get a good night sleep. She was carrying his baby and it wasn't only up to her to stay healthy but up to him to make sure she was cared for properly, his pettiness over this fight wouldn't be helping that cause. That and he was just plain in love with her and couldn't stay mad now even if he wanted too, that would have been more of an effort, because the ill will was gone, just the stubbornness remained.

Her guilt over what she had said and the dread that she wasn't going to be forgiven right away began to form in the way of tears. She was about to roll away and just let him have his space when she felt his hand glide down her arm and over the back of her hand, sliding his fingers between hers.

"Don't call me paranoid," was all he said as he pulled it in securely against his chest.

She smiled brightly, "I won't ever again, I promise. You're not anyway." She moved in closer to him and closed her eyes, knowing all was forgiven.

They both fell asleep within minutes.


	13. Chapter 13

Nick O'Neil walked down the row of rental cars, carrying a suitcase in each hand. He decided on the white mustang, at the end of the row, opening the trunk with the remote. He put both overfilled suitcases inside, having packed everything he wanted for the rest of his life, or at least for the next few years, knowing he wouldn't be returning to his parent's home anytime soon, nor did he want to. The twenty grand he finally talked out of his father would hold him over until he could get on his feet in a new unit, not considering that any kind of problem really. They were always looking for new recruits to strengthen their numbers, but an American was always a plus, especially one with his experience in "negotiations " with the enemy captures. He didn't care what their cause was, always knowing just how much of a fanatic against America he had to be to in order to fit in.

He already had a few militant organizations in mind, but that was for later he thought with a grin. Right now he had other business to attend to, pulling out of the parking lot and headed toward H1 with the top down.

His first stop was an electronic store so he could pick up a new phone after dumping the one his father had got him, not wanting to be traced, knowing his father probably would do something like that.

He looked up at the blue sky and took in a deep breath, never having been in a place that smelled like paradise, understanding the reason why people came here. The view to the left of the freeway was spectacular with the lush green mountains rising well above the city of Honolulu, with clouds hovering just over the tips of them, making them seem even more majestic than they were.

He saw a sign for an exit toward the infamous Waikiki Beach and couldn't resist.

He made his way down Kalakaua Avenue, trying to keep his eyes on the road but amazed at not only the beach itself but of the women walking around in bikinis that barely covered their finer parts. After coming from the East coast in the late fall and before that from a country that discouraged women to even show their faces, this was definitely paradise. Even the ones that had clothes on were showing enough skin that his imagination was useless at this point. Short shorts, braless tank tops, but what he enjoyed the most were the ones that admired him as he drove by slowly.

He was glad he had taken his shirt off, enjoying the sun, but was now feeling a little out of place with his skin that hadn't been sun kissed like so many on the beach, some maybe too much. But his muscles over shadowed his tan less chest, and when he smiled at a pretty girl it was returned, and after glancing in the rearview mirror at his prey, so was a second glance. He decided that maybe a little rest and relaxation would be good for him. He deserved it after all that he'd been through over the course of the last two months. Besides, he thought, she wasn't going anywhere. He'd keep his plans but maybe stretch them out just a tad. Have some extra fun while he was at it.

He stopped at a stoplight and laid his arm across the passenger headrest, smiling at two young women as they smiled back at him, giggling to one another.

"Aloha ladies," he grinned. "Can you show me where I can get a cold beer around here?"

They whispered to one another and then as the light turned green one of them shouted out to him.

"Tikis' bar at four thirty."

He smiled brightly and waved a hand as he drove off, looking over his shoulder as they waved back.

"Ah yes," he blew out a breath, picturing the two of them in his bed, "I like this place."

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"Mommy?" Elie said as she and Ellen sat in the backseat of their SUV.

"What?" Michelle asked, looking at her in the rearview mirror.

"Do think Daddy will wear the shirt I picked out for him?"

"Are you kidding? He'll wear it all the time."

Elie smiled brightly over that, holding it up. She admired the image of King Triton on the front of it, holding his triton in one hand and Sebastian the crab in the other. They had passed the Disney store in the mall seeing it on display while on the clearance rack.

Elie ran inside, begging her mother to buy it for him. Michelle couldn't resist, even though the only size she could find was a boy's ex large. She knew it would be skin tight on her husband but also knew he would wear it anyway, only because Elie had picked it out. The emblem on the front wouldn't matter to him; he'd wear it proudly.

"I didn't get to pick anything out for him," Ellen whined.

"We can say it's from both of us," Elie told her.

"Ok," she replied happily.

Michelle looked at her again in the mirror. "That's very sweet of you Elie to include your sister. What do you have to say to that Ellen?"

She looked over at her twin. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she smiled happily admiring the shirt again. "But I get to give it to him."

Ellen huffed, "We both do."

"I saw it first so I get to give it to him."

"Mommy," Ellen cried, "that's not fair."

"Elie found it Ellen. It was her idea."

"So, he's my Daddy too," she scoffed, crossing her arms stubbornly.

"You can stand behind me when I give it to him," Elie said, turning the once good gesture to almost none existence.

"No I won't!" Ellen yelled.

"Then you can't give it to him at all."

"Mommy!" Ellen yelled, kicking her legs out of frustration over her sister.

"Stop it, both of you!" she scolded them.

"Elie's not being nice."

They stopped at a stoplight and Michelle looked over her shoulder at them. "You two work this out, or the shirt is going back right now." She glanced over at Ellen. "Stop kicking my seat."

She did so immediately and waited until her mother turned back around before glaring over at her sister, "You have to let me too. Mom said so."

"No she didn't," Elie countered, "she said we have to…work…" she looked back up at her mother. "What did you say we have to do?"

"Work it out. That means you two have to come up with a plan that makes you both happy."

Elie looked over at her. "Ok, you can give it to Daddy," she handed the t-shirt to her sister's overjoyed face, "but you have to say that it's from me."

Her expression faded to a grumpy one, "That's not fair."

"I think that's very fair," Michelle chimed in.

Elie smiled looking over at her twin, "See, Mommy says so too."

She accepted the offer, afraid of her mother's threat that she'd take the shirt back if she tried to argue anymore.

"What in the world…" Michelle said confused, as they pulled in the gate to the house.

Both girls extended their necks so they could look out the windshield, wanting to see what their mother was so surprised over.

"What is it?" Ellen asked.

Michelle ignored her request and put the car in park, getting out. She went up to Steve and Danny as they used box cutter's to open up a large flat box that was sitting in the driveway leaning up against the garage wall by the front door. She stepped over other smaller boxes and debris of Styrofoam and tools. "Hi," she said to them.

"Hi honey," Steve replied, "come look at this and tell me if I have your approval?"

"Just for the record," Danny jumped in, "I told him not to buy it without you being there."

"What is it?"

They pulled down the front of the cardboard, exposing a white door with a decorative etched glass inlay.

"What do you think?" he asked her.

She put her hand on the steel door that really was impressive. "It's beautiful."

Steve nudged Danny with a pleasing smile. "I told you she'd like it." He looked back over at her. "So do I have your permission to hang it?"

She shrugged, "Sure, I guess so. I like it." She turned and pointed at the rest of the mess in the driveway. "What's all this? You two boys look like you've been up to something."

"We'll get it cleaned up," Steve assured her. "I put in an alarm system around all the windows."

She turned back, staring at him. "I was only gone for about four hours and you bought a new door and put in an alarm system?"

He shrugged this time. "I'm efficient."

"He's been working me like a dog," Danny whined, "I'm the efficient one in the equation here."

"Whatever," Steve huffed. "You handed me the tools like a nurse. I'm the one that performed the surgery."

"What?" Danny laughed. "Are you kidding me with that? I drilled…"

"Daddy," Ellen interrupted as she and Elie came running up to them. "Look what we got for you." She held the shirt up.

"Say it!" Elie said insistently, standing behind her twin. "Say it, Ellen."

Her expression turned annoyed but knew she had to say it. "Ellen picked it out," she replied somberly, but then the smile returned, "but I get to give it to you." She held it up to him.

"A present for me?" he grinned happily, taking the shirt as Ellen gushed.

Elie went and stood next to Danny, acknowledging him, wishing now she would have given it to her father, realizing the excitement was all in the presentation. "Hi Uncle Danny."

He put a hand on her head, "Hey sweetie. Did you have fun shopping?"

She nodded, watching her father hold the shirt up.

"I love King Triton."

"Put it on Daddy," Ellen insisted.

"I will, right now." He showed it to Danny. "Did you see what my girls got me?"

"Very nice," Danny replied, not commenting on the picture. "He'd worn many unusual shirts and ugly ties only because they came from Gracie.

Steve pulled the shirt off he was wearing and put the new one on, forcing it over his chest that was too wide for the small size and tugged on the sleeves, stretching them out over his biceps. The graphic picture on the front lost some of its fine color due to being stretched out, but he wore it proudly, holding his arms out and showing it off. "I love it!"

Ellen jumped up and down clapping. "It fits! We didn't know if it would fit."

"Thank you for this," he said to Ellen, he looked over at Elie next. "Thank you."

"You're welcome Daddy," Elie replied halfheartedly, leaning against Danny.

Michelle saw the display between the girls that should have been the opposite, feeling bad for Elie who had just tried to do a good deed for both her father and Ellen but ended up on the short end of the stick.

"Ok," Michelle said motioning to the house. "Inside girls, the boys have some work to do." She went by Steve biting her bottom lip as she looked at his shirt, patting his belly with her hand. "Nice fit."

He grabbed her by the waist as the girls went in ahead of her. "How long do I have to keep it on," he whispered in an uncomfortable voice, "it's cutting off my circulation."

She laughed out loud, "Just tell them that you didn't want to ruin it so you took it off."

"Ok," he agreed thankfully.

"Oh," she said to him before going on, "just an FYI, this was all Elie's idea. She just wanted to have Ellen be apart of it."

He smiled, not really surprised by either of those pieces of information. "Ok, thanks for telling me that."

She patted his belly again, "You better take it off, you're face is turning blue."

She and Danny both laughed over that.

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Elie sat on the couch by herself flipping through a book when Steve passed the family room, on his way out to the front of the house as he and Danny tested the security system. He stopped and went over to her, taking the seat next to her.

"Whatcha doing?" he asked.

She showed him the front of the Dr. Seuss book, "Reading this book."

He slid an arm around her shoulder and leaned in to her ear. "I know it was you that picked out that shirt for me, wasn't it?"

She looked up at him in wonderment as he smiled knowingly at her. "How did you know that?"

"I know you." He squeezed her little body up against his. "Thank you for thinking of me. I really do love it, but I love it most because it came from you."

She smiled brightly. This in her opinion was better than being able to give him the gift. "Do you want to read with me?"

He patted her leg. "I can't right now, Danny and I are working on some stuff." He got up and pointed at the spot he was sitting in, "Save me this seat for later?"

She nodded.

"Daddy?" she asked him with an uneasy expression.

"What?"

"When the new baby comes, and if it likes to do all the stuff that Ellen does, will you still play with me too?"

He squatted down in front of her, "Nothing will change between you and me when the new baby comes," he said to her. "Some of the best times I've ever had have been with you. Nothing will ever change between you and me. Ok?"

"Ok," she replied satisfied. "I love you, Daddy."

He gushed over those words from his little girl. "I love you too sweetie. Save me that spot for later."

He gave her a wink before leaving the room. She was the happiest she could possibly be at that moment.

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Michelle sat up in bed, putting her hand over her stomach and taking slow, deep breaths, trying to ward off the nausea that was sweeping over her. She went to lie back down when she felt it rising to her throat, whipping the covers off and racing around the bed to the bathroom, holding her hand over her mouth, hoping she made it.

She barely made it over the toilet when she threw up, bracing her hands on the toilet seat and going down to her knees. She felt another wave hit her as her stomach lurched.

As quickly as it came on, it was gone.

She heard the sink come on and looked over at Steve as he rinsed out a washcloth under the cool water.

"You ok?" he asked concerned, looking at her over his shoulder.

She sat down and leaned back against the wall. "Yes. That one came on pretty quick."

He knelt down in front of her and used the washcloth to wipe her face off, knowing that always made her feel better afterward.

"Better?" he asked.

She smiled and nodded, holding her hand out as he stood up and took it, pulling her off the floor. She went to the sink and brushed her teeth as he went back to bed.

He rolled over, facing her as she pulled the covers back up, putting a hand on her lower belly. "I'm sorry."

She rolled her eyes at his apology. "I don't know why you always apologize to me after I get sick."

"I feel bad," he chuckled.

'That's silly." She put her hand over top of his. "If you really want to make up for my pregnancy sickness, then run downstairs and get me one of those blueberry muffins."

He laughed at her joke, but after a couple of seconds and the expression on her face, he knew she wasn't joking.

"Are you serious?" he asked.

She smiled and nodded. "I'm starving."

"Can I have a kiss first?" he asked, leaning over her.

She put her hand over his mouth, "Muffin first."

He spoke through her hand, his voice muffled. "You're mean. Now I want to get laid too."

She laughed, "We'll see. Go get the muffin."

He got out of bed and whispered to her before he left the room. "Get your clothes off."

He came downstairs and decided to go one better, hoping it would increase his chances for the request. He heated the muffin up with some butter and poured a glass of milk adding some of the chocolate syrup that the kids liked in it, but as he came back up in the bedroom he realized his extra effort was null in void. Michelle was already back to sleep. He turned the light off in the bathroom and went back out the door, wide-awake now over his failed expectation.

He went back down stairs and into the office, setting the food down, taking a bite of the muffin as he flipped his laptop open. He checked he and Michelle's joint email account first and then checked his work one that he used for any business that didn't relate to their personal life. He shoved in a generous piece of the muffin and was taking a drink of milk when he saw an email from ' '. He set the glass down and wiped his fingers on his cut off sweats that he wore to bed.

He anxiously opened the email and began to read over the note.

 _Steve,_

 _Ran a check on the blood samples, DNA came back empty. If the tunnel rat was military, he wasn't US military. Prints came back inconclusive as well. I've instructed our lab to send you the remaining samples to run in the civilian database to see if you come up with a match. I hope all is going well with your family and I apologize for the delay in time, but I'm sure you know first hand how slow the government can be._

 _Sincerely, Clint_

He read it again, thrilled to be getting the extra samples, replying to his email, telling him so and letting him know that he'll return the same generosity of the results as well.

He sat back staring at the screen, disappointed that nothing came up on their end, thinking for sure that the guy was ex-military. He just played the part so well, recognizing it by his own involvement with him in just those few minutes as they stood across from one another, but also of Michelle's depiction of him. He began to wonder then if maybe he was influenced by it instead, perhaps by an older brother or even a father that had served. His mind began to work, flowing over the ways in which he could track that person down if they existed, simply by a blood sample and set of prints. He went down several paths but every one ended up a dead end, knowing he would need a name, plain and simple.

He closed his eyes, seeing the mental image of him, keeping it fresh in his head. He pictured him standing next to Michelle as he took the hood off of her head and then how he rubbed his hand over it, doing it for no other reason than to taunt him. That familiar wave of anger washed over him, wising he could have got a chance to go at him, he would have busted that hand off and twisted his neck until it snapped.

He opened his eyes and took in a deep breath, quickly defusing those thoughts, knowing once he started in that direction that the hatred and anger would take over, leading him to a place that left him drained and depressed. He and Michelle had won that battle even if that prick had escaped. He won because he had his wife back. He was reminded again of her strength to let the anger go, feeding off of her understanding that they had too much to live for than to let anyone stand in there way of happiness.

The faint blue light on the windowsill showed that the alarm was working and set. He slept better at night since installing it and knew he'd rest easy once back at work, just having it available to her. There was a panic button in four different areas of the house, including upstairs. All she had to do was press a button and even if the alarm wasn't set, it still called for help.

He was torn about going back to work. Part of him was ready but the other half was going to miss this time with his family. They hadn't spent this much time together since the girls were born and he'd taken six weeks off to help her manage the twins. It was worth every second and even though the circumstances this time were far different, it still had ended up being a blessing in disguise. He had a week left and was going to make the most of it. He was going to do nothing but sit, relax and just play husband and dad, his two favorite things.

He came back in the bedroom and smiled at Michelle's sleeping position that mirrored Ellen's. One of her hands was above her head and one leg was sticking out from under the covers. He carefully got back in bed with her, and knowing his wife's sleeping habits as he did, he knew just how to get her in the position he wanted, without actually waking her up.

He slid an arm under her neck and whispered to her, "Come here."

She mumbled unknowingly in her sleep and rolled over as he guided her to his shoulder. She lay content with her head there and an arm across his chest, still sound asleep. He wrapped his arm around her and held her other hand, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

The monster was nowhere in his thoughts.

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Nick laughed out loud at the girls joke and held up his shot of tequila.

"Funny and beautiful. Here's to you gorgeous," he said, downing the drink. He smiled as she blushed just slightly over his compliment; he turned to the other girl, "Don't think I forgot about you. I can feel myself sweating just sitting next to you. You're on fire."

She beamed and looked over at her friend as the two gushed over his attention. "He's so sweet!"

"I know!" the other replied, looking over at him. "How did you get so sweet?"

He shrugged, pouring more tequila into their paper cups. "It's in my nature, I'm just a nice guy."

The girl in the black sequence tank top held up her cup, "Here's to nature then."

Her friend who wore a bikini top that had a starch white short sleeve dress shirt over it and tied at the waist held her cup up, agreeing with her friend. "To nature."

They all three drank as Nick refilled the cups once again.

"This place is something," he said to them, admiring the view from where they sat. It overlooked the ocean on the leeward side of the island. "How did you find this place?"

"We've hiked up here a couple of times on the weekend," the girl in the sequence shirt said. "It's an easy climb up and down even with tequila," she smiled, holding up her cup.

He scanned her legs in the mini skirt as it rode up her thigh, showing her white panties in the faint light they had from their cell phone flashlights that were all lit up. She was teasing him, doing that on purpose, he thought, feeling his heart rate begin to accelerate. He glanced over at the other one as she drunkenly laughed at her friend, she too, he thought, she wore that bikini top showing off that amble cleavage for a reason. He began to imagine the two of them in sexual positions with each other and then with him. Deciding this little game of cat and mouse had gone on long enough. They were up here in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night. He was sure they had brought him up there for one thing, and one thing only.

He sat up on his knees and slid his shirt over his head. "Is it always this nice out, even after dark?"

"Yes!" they both exclaimed. "Perfect weather, year round," the girl in the white shirt yelled, holding up her cup. "To Hawaii!"

"To paradise!" the other shouted, drinking their cups once again. They both reached for the bottle of pineapple juice they had picked up at the liquor store with the tequila.

He forwent that shot, not wanting to get too drunk so that he couldn't perform properly for them.

"Hey," he said to them. "I took off my shirt, you should take off yours too."

The one in the bikini top untied her outer shirt and slipped it off her shoulders. "Taaa daaa," she said as if it were magic, twirling it around her head and tossing it in on some rocks next to them

The other one just laughed as if he were joking.

"You're turn," he said to her.

She laughed, "I'm not taking my shirt off."

"Why not? Were all alone up here. No one will care."

She shook her head. "No way."

He figured out quickly she was going to be the prude between the two. He scooted over toward the other one. "I knew when I first saw you that you were the fun one." He rested his hand on her leg, looking at her friend, hoping it would make her jealous and more submissive.

"Lori's fun," the bikini girl said, defending her friend.

"Not fun like you though," he said, leaning over and kissing her, pushing her on the ground with his body as his hand moved up her thigh.

She didn't fight him at first, too shocked and too drunk to react, but when he didn't let up right away she pushed him off with her hands, "Whoa," she laughed uneasily, "Settle down some."

He sat up looking at her friend who was standing now, looking down at him appalled, not liking where this party had turned or where it was heading. "We should get going."

"Why?" Nick said. "Because I kissed your friend?" he motioned for her to sit down, "Come here. I'll give you a kiss too and make it even."

Her expression became even more appalled. "Come on Mandy, let's go. I have to pee anyway," she lied, looking for an excuse.

Mandy knew her roommate and knew when enough was enough, even though she was having fun, wishing she were out there alone with him now. "Ok, I do too."

"Hold on," Nick said, standing up. "What's the hurry? Find a bush over there and go."

"No," Lori said, "we should get going anyway. Let's go back to Waikiki and find a bar and have another drink." But she had no intention of going anywhere else with him.

"We could go to Duke's, "Mandy said, looking for her shirt she'd tossed over the rocks.

"We'll see," Lori said, standing on the path now that led back to his car.

"Why are you being such a selfish bitch all of a sudden, " Nick said to her. "Just because you're boring doesn't mean we all have to be."

Mandy looked over at him angrily, holding her shirt in her hand. "She's not boring! She just doesn't want to take her shirt off. Jesus dude, don't be such an asshole."

He felt his anger build over that, more or less because his chances with her now had suddenly vanished as well. He could tell. He looked over at Lori, glaring at her for turning her friend against him.

"Let's go Mandy." She felt a chill run through her over his stare, not even comfortable about getting in his car now, glad that Mandy was there with her.

"I'm coming. Come on," she said to Nick, "let's go."

Lori turned and started walking down the trail, using her phone as a light. Mandy started to join her when he grabbed her by the arm.

"Why do you let that little prude ruin a good night? You and I were having fun."

She pulled her arm free. "She's not a prude and you didn't have to kiss me like that either."

He tried for a second chance, "Then let her go to the car alone and you and I can stay behind." He smiled sweetly at her. "I'll go slower next time," he whispered, "you won't regret it."

She looked at him uncomfortably, getting the same feeling that Lori had. "No," she said uneasily. "She wants to go. Let's do what she said and go find another bar somewhere in town." She thought it would be the perfect opportunity to ditch him.

He knew she was lying. He'd interrogated enough people to know when they were lying. "You're a tease," he growled, grabbing her again. "Don't make me look like the bad guy because you two whores brought me up here and then leave me hanging."

She looked back at him angrily, pulling on her arm to get away. "Fuck you!"

Lori stumbled on a rock, feeling the shots of tequila catching up with her. "Damn it!" She scolded herself for even coming up there now. He seemed like a nice guy in the beginning. She felt safe with him after he told them he was an ex Navy Seal and all, but that security was quickly changing. She looked back over her shoulder, not seeing them coming. She started back toward them when she saw him coming at her in the dark, glancing behind him, but not seeing Mandy.

"Where's Mandy?" she asked, but wasn't prepared for his response or his demeanor that proved her instincts were right.

It was her fault, he thought angrily. The other one would have given in eventually. She was proven to be the weaker minded of the two, but this one…she reminded him of the woman who had humiliated him, and the one person that had he'd come to the island for to begin with. They were exactly alike, but he wouldn't let this one beat him like Michelle had.

He reached out with his hand and grabbed her around the throat, startling her, seeing the terror in her eyes. His strength was no match for her. "You think you can get away? Do you think you're better than me? You're not!" he squeezed. "I'll break you the same as I'm going to break that fucking bitch Michelle. You'll both kneel," he growled, "or you'll both fucking die!"

She tried to scream as he dragged her back to where they were but the hold on her neck proved to be too tight, fighting to catch even a tiny breath, too frightened over his words and what he'd done to Mandy already, knowing if her friend were all right, she'd be coming to her aid right then. She didn't understand why he was so angry and what the words meant. Not knowing who this Michelle person was and not caring, too terrified for her own life at the moment.

His anger was out of control, seeing Michelle's willfulness in this girl, refusing to let her beat him too. He felt the mental humiliation that she had put him through and still was. She had been too strong for him. He wanted revenge, knowing now that he'd never be able to have peace until Michelle was on her knees, mentally broken into a thousand pieces.

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He stepped inside the shower and under the warm water, washing away the evidence of the events of the night. He braced a hand on the wall and kept his head under the water, cursing himself for getting out of control like that. He had to lay low now. He couldn't make any sudden changes or take action too soon. He couldn't attract any attention to himself.

He punched the tile wall with his fist, cursing Michelle for getting into his head and making him do what he did. He never would have done anything like that if it weren't for her.

"Fuck!" he growled, punching it again and again.

He turned the water off and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around his waist and stood in front of the mirror, staring at himself in the reflection, trying to justify his actions. He looked down at his hands that had thrown Mandy over the cliff and then strangled the life out of Lori. He looked at her as he did it, not seeing her, but seeing Michelle's helpless body tremble and kick as he smiled and told her to fight, knowing she would be powerless. It was what fueled his rage, blaming her once again for making him feel weak minded, telling himself again that he never would have done it if it weren't for her. The blood of those two girls were on her hands, not his.


	14. Chapter 14

Steve rolled over in bed and picked up his ringing cell phone, focusing on the caller ID.

"Whaaattt?" he moaned.

"Welcome back!" he heard loudly from the other end, recognizing all three voices.

He couldn't help but smile. "I'm not due in for another three hours you sadists."

"You know better than that," Chin said.

"Rise and shine Boss," Kono sang out.

"You know crime never sleeps," Danny said. "Time to re-join the work force, buddy. You know you've been missing the feel of slipping into a fresh pair of cargo pants."

He heard all three of them laugh as he sat up in bed, knowing now that the call was seriously about work. "Ok, ok I'm up. What do we got?"

"Two bodies over by Kaneana Cave off Farrington highway."

"Geez," Steve moaned, "you're really pulling out all at the stops for my first day back aren't you?"

"I'll be by in ten minutes to get you," Danny said.

"We're pulling in to the site right now," Kono said. "See you in about thirty."

Steve hung up and ran his hands over his face, feeling another hand from his wife run down his back.

"What is it?" Michelle asked in a sleepy voice.

"I got a case already," he replied standing up and walking to the bathroom. "I'll be out of your hair in ten minutes. Go back to sleep."

He came out seven minutes later wiping the towel over his head and seeing that she wasn't in bed anymore. At that very moment he smelled his breakfast being cooked downstairs.

"Damn her," he smiled.

Michelle turned the heat down off the stove and picked the bacon out of the pan, setting it on the paper towel. She used the spatula to scrape it under the cooking scrambled eggs, turning them as she heard him coming down the stairs. She reached over to the Kuerig and took out the fresh cup of coffee, setting it on the counter behind her as he came in.

"I told you to go back to sleep," he scolded her without a hint of anger in voice, kissing her cheek.

"I'm a kept wife now, you deserve breakfast before you go hunt bad guys. The bacon isn't super crispy like you like it but it'll do." She reached for the toast as he poured the coffee into a steel travel mug.

"I wouldn't complain even if it was raw. A kept wife my ass," he patted her behind, "you're a trophy wife."

She chuckled over that, scooping up some eggs and spreading it over the toast and then laid the three strips of bacon over that and covered it with the second slice of toast, pressing it all together with the palm of her hand.

They both heard the Camaro pull in through the gate in the silence of the early morning.

"Gotta run."

She pulled off a piece of paper towel and wrapped it around the bottom half of the sandwich as she followed him to the door.

She held his coffee for him as he turned off the alarm and opened the door, waving to Danny to let him know he was there. He reached up in the closet by the office and took down his gun and badge.

She watched him as he strapped the belt through the loops of his pants and then clipped the badge and gun on.

"You know what?" she said to him.

"What?" he replied, taking the food and mug from her.

"I feel like everything is back to normal now."

He stopped his rush and looked at her over that statement. She was right he just hadn't noticed it. They had weathered the storm and even though he was back to work at his hectic job, he felt like it was smooth sailing ahead. He liked that she was home now too with the girls. It had been over two months since their ordeal and she was looking more and more like her old self again. The marks on her face were gone, except for a tiny scar here and there, and her hair even though it was short, had grown out enough that it began to lay down.

He put his arms around her the best he could while still holding the items in hands and hugged her, thanking her for reminding him once again to stop and look around. "I love you," he said to her, leaning back so he could see her face. "We're going to be ok." He said it to himself just as much as he was saying it to her.

She squeezed his body tightly, looking into his eyes. "Yes we are. I love you too. Please be careful today."  
He leaned in and kissed her, "I will. I'll call you later." He kissed her once more before going out the door.

She waved to Danny and closed it, walking back to the kitchen to clean up the mess before going back to bed, not realizing right then that it was the first time she had walked away without setting the alarm. That fear had vanished.

Steve got in the passenger side and smiled over at his partner, "What, no flowers?"

He laughed. "I'll buy you a Puka Dog instead."

"Ahhh," Steve smiled happily, feeling a jolt of excitement, "it's good to be back." He took a bite of his egg sandwich as they pulled out of the driveway. "So what do we got?"

"Do you remember hearing about those two roommates that disappeared a little over two weeks ago?"

"Yes. Twenty something. They never showed up to work on Monday. No leads is what I recall."

"Well…the search is over. They found their bodies over the side of a cliff by Kuaokala hiking trail. They weren't dressed for hiking though." He looked over at him as both of their expressions turned grim over the find.

"Damn," Steve sighed.

"I know…Welcome back Buddy."

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Nick sat in his car across from the Honolulu police station everyday for the past two weeks, from six thirty in the morning until six thirty at night just waiting for him to show up. He had no other way to track him except for this right here, knowing this is where he worked, or so he thought.

He started the engine and moved spots, not wanting to bring attention to himself, but made sure he parked in a place where he could view the comings and goings of the entrance, beginning to get frustrated with this. He pretty much recognized the same people coming and going everyday, except for the one he wanted. He glanced down at the photo he'd printed out from the paper clipping, refreshing his mental image. McGarrett's appearance and stature were unique. He was a Navy Seal right down to the core, knowing he'd spot him dead on when he saw him.

He scanned the newspaper everyday and watched the morning and late news, waiting for them to find the bodies of the two girls, but to his amazement they were still considered missing. A big story when it broke, but as the week progressed more and more theories arose that perhaps they had left the island all together for the mainland, or maybe on vacation. They went from headlining the news to the fourth and even sixth story with just a brief follow up, but it was the ones closest to them that kept insisting that something had happened to them. He almost went back to the site where they were a couple of times to maybe cover them up, but changed his mind, considering that a stupid move. His best bet was to just forget about it like everyone else was beginning to do and focus on finding Michelle.

He opened a bottle of water and took a long drink. The heat was bad that day considering it was November. There was only one season in Hawaii, summer. It was the perfect season if you were outside surfing, swimming, or just laying in the sun with a cold beer watching titts and ass he thought, but if you were stuck in a hot car watching a bunch of fucking moron cops come and go, it was hell.

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Steve squatted down in front of the body they had brought down from the side of the cliff as he slipped on a pair of black surgical gloves. He lifted her hand up and turned it over, examining her fingers that were stiff from rigamortis setting in days ago.

"Not even a broken nail," Danny said, looking over his shoulder.

"That's what I was thinking. No broken fingers either." He glanced over his shoulder at him. "She was pushed over that cliff. She didn't even have time to put up a fight."

"Or put her hands out to break her fall."

Steve stepped out of the way as they began to put her body in a bag to keep the evidence secure. "You think she was knocked out before she was pushed over?"

Danny shrugged, "Or already dead."

"They must have been up here for some reason, or why would he…" he corrected himself, " or they, drag these two girls up all this way and then throw them over? Seems to me like too much trouble. Didn't you say it was a Saturday that they were last seen?"

"Yup," Danny replied, looking over his notes, "and the other one is wearing a sequence tank top and mini skirt."

"Maybe they were partying too much and fell over?" Steve suggested.

"Or maybe they were partying and the party went sour."

Kono came walking up holding a plastic bag with a paper cup inside of it. "We found this up on that ledge." She pointed to an area about sixty feet up. "It might be the crime scene. Chin is up there with a couple of forensic guys scoping out the area."

Steve spoke into his radio that was attached to his hip. "Chin, find anything else up there?"

"I believe we found our crime scene. We found pieces of the sequence on the ground in one particular area as if there might have been a struggle."

Steve and Danny both looked up, "Ok, we're coming up."

"We have to hike up there?" Danny whined.

"I'll call a helicopter in for you, ok?" Steve joked as he walked toward the trail that led up to Chin.

Danny grumbled a few choice words and then followed after him. "Don't complain if I smell like a sweat hog in the car. It has to be the hottest day of the year and its still morning."

Steve grinned but ignored the sarcasm. It wasn't a normal day without it. It was good to be back on the job, he thought, being reminded of Michelle's earlier account that life was back to normal. It was, and it felt good. He missed her all of a sudden, having become accustom to waking up with her every morning and having breakfast with she and the girls. He missed all three of them. He could just picture Elie with her in the kitchen, helping get breakfast while Ellen lay in bed, still sleeping until it was time to get up. She was like a teenager already, he thought amusingly.

"Hey," he turned to Danny. "By the way, Michelle's and my anniversary is coming up. Do you think Gracie could babysit for us that night?"

"Weekend or school night?"

"A Friday."

"Sure. She'd love the cash and you guys always pay her way too much."

"She's worth it."

"What do you have planned? This is seven isn't it? Or eight?"

"Seven," Steve replied. "Lucky seven."

"Or the seven year itch," Danny grinned, teasing him, knowing they had a solid relationship.

"She scratches all my itches." He looked back at him as they made a slightly elevated climb, "I'm getting her a new ring."

"Wow. Bigger than the last one?"

"No, but a nice one. It's not bigger but it's more expensive. It has diamonds that wrap all the way around the band"

"Diamonds," Danny huffed. "You should get her cubic zirconia and save yourself a couple of grand."

Steve looked over his shoulder at him appalled, "I'm not buying my wife fake diamonds for our anniversary."

"She'd never know," he argued.

"I would know!"

"But you'd forget about it after being able to use the extra cash to buy yourself some grenades or perhaps a new rocket launcher."

Steve chuckled over that, shaking his head as they saw Chin up ahead.

"Think about it," he badgered him. "She's ex Seal too, she might appreciate a shiny new bazooka."

Steve laughed. "Just stop talking,"

"Hey!" Chin yelled as they came up the path toward him. "Stop!" he shouted, holding his hands up.

Steve and Danny both stopped in their tracks, looking down and around at their feet.

"Is it a snake?" Danny asked nervously.

"Seriously Danny," Steve responded irritably. "There's no snakes in Hawaii."

"I think the crime scene might begin right around there." Chin yelled, "Look at the trail in the dirt. Looks to me like someone might have been dragged."

They both moved over to either side of the trail, making their way over to him and examining the marks he was referring too, seeing them clearly now.

"Do we have pictures?" Steve asked him.

"They're on their way up," Chin said as they finally joined him.

"What else you got?" Danny asked him, slipping on a pair of gloves.

"An accumulation of sequence over here that looks like it came from the girl in the tank top. She has marks on her neck simulating she might have been strangled. I'm guessing she was on her back here," he pointed at the spot as the sequence shimmered in the morning sun. "Once Max gets the autopsy done we'll know for sure whether it was the fall or the choking that killed her."

"They were both fully dressed so I'm assuming we can rule out sexual assault," Danny suggested.

"That's to be determined too," Steve said, thinking how much he hated sexual assault cases, even more so now. He squatted down and started moving dirt with the point of his pen, seeing something just under the surface.

He reached down and picked up a waded piece of paper from the dirt.

"What is it?" Chin asked him.

"Looks like a piece of paper. Could be just trash." He spread it open, showing a receipt. "It's a receipt for a bottle of tequila, pineapple juice and…" he looked up at Chin, "some Dixie cups. Dated the night they disappeared."

"Looks like we just found our first lead," Danny said, giving Steve a pat on the shoulder. "Good job. It's good to know that playing endless games of Candy Land hasn't warped your brain."

Chin held open a plastic bag as Steve dropped the paper inside. "Can you believe this guy Chin, he said I should replace cubic zirconia diamonds for the real thing in Michelle's anniversary ring."

"What?!" Chin looked over at him disgusted. "Who does that?"

"Danny does," Steve said as he walked off.

"I do not?" he quickly replied. "I was just joking around."

"A real romantic, this guy," Steve smiled as he walked off to the edge of the cliff.

"You need to get your priorities straight, bro," Chin said, shaking his head as he zipped up the bag.

Danny went and stood next to Steve as he looked over and down at where the girls had been found. "I sure hope this is a one time event and isn't the beginning of a serial thing."

Steve sighed, "Me too," thinking about their next task of having to tell the parents that had flown in weeks before to help with the search.

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The liquor store had a bright neon sign display in the window of a palm tree in the sand by the ocean. It covered most of the glass and what wasn't covered showed advertisements of a variety of alcohol.

Steve entered the store first followed by Danny. They approached the counter displaying their badges. The man behind it didn't react one way or the other to their presence. He was an older native with tanned leather skin and his grey hair was tied back in a ponytail. He wore a Hawaiian shirt that was faded from too many washes and a pair of old cut-off Levis. They couldn't see his feet but if they had to guess they would have said flip-flops.

"Are you the owner?" Steve asked him.

"Yes, Sir"

"Commander McGarrett with Five-0, this is Detective Williams. We'd like to ask you some questions about a purchase made here."

"Ok," he said suspiciously.

"Were you working the night of Saturday, September 12th?"

He squinted his eyes as if having to think about it. "If I was open then yes, but can't remember if I was open or not."

"You don't have set hours?" Danny asked him.

"Yes," he replied, "but if I get an itch to go surfing then I close." He smiled at them, "It's good to be the boss."

They looked at each other and chuckled.

"Yea, I guess so," Steve replied. "But you must have been open because we have this receipt." He held the bag out to him. "Do you remember this purchase? Might have been bought by two girls, mid twenties, one brunette and one blond. One was wearing a sequence tank top and mini skirt and the other had on a bikini top and maybe a white dress shirt over it?"

He shook his head, chuckling, "I get lots of customers. I can't remember back that far, Brah."

Danny pointed at a camera in the corner of the store. "Does that work?"

He followed his eyes up to the video camera and then looked back at him, scratching his head. "Sort of."

"What do you mean sort of?" Steve asked.

He looked back at him sheepishly, "Follow me."

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Nick wiped away a bead of sweat from his forehead, taking a drink of the 32oz ice-cold diet coke he drank everyday around noon to keep up a decent level of caffeine. He found that it kept him from dozing off and was cheaper than coffee. This had to be the most torturous thing he'd ever done. He was going to give it two more days and if nothing came up he was going to have to resort to plan B, and that was going to be riskier, but he was losing his patience and after what had happened with those two girls, he didn't want to be on the island any longer than he had to.

He tilted his neck to the side and then the other stretching it out. He reached down to start the car to move spots when he glanced up one last time at the entrance. His hand froze on the key in the ignition, leaning forward and squinting his eyes, seeing the target that he'd been patiently waiting for.

"Son of a bitch," he whispered. "That's him." He grabbed the paper and looked at the picture and then back up as he and Danny walked into the station, each carrying a box. He didn't really need the clarification. He knew it was him.

A smile slowly spread across his face. The wait was over.

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Steve held the door open with his foot as Danny went past him, both carrying a box full of unmarked VHS tapes. They went into Chin's office and set them down on his desk.

Steve went into his office next pulling out his cell phone on the way. He was pleasantly surprised at the person that picked up the call on his wife's cell.

"Hello," Ellen answered.

"Hey you, what are you doing?"

"Hi Daddy. We're helping Mommy fold clothes and then we're going to go to the grocery store."

"Really? You sound busy. Thank you for helping out. Is she feeling ok today?"

She looked over at her mother, "Daddy wants to know if you feel ok?"

"Tell Daddy I feel great."

"Mommy said she feels great."

He smiled over that, hoping the morning sickness was officially over. He heard Elie in the background wanting to talk to him.

Ellen moved away from her sister's hand that was reaching for the phone. "What are you doing Daddy? Is Kono with you?"

"Just working, catching bad guys. Kono's not here right now, just me a Danny."

"Can I talk to Uncle Danny?"

"No sweetie, he's in his office. Why don't you let me talk to Elie and then I have to go back to work."

"Ok, I love you Daddy."

"Love you too sweetie."

She handed the phone to her sister. "Hi Daddy. Do you want us to get you anything from the grocery store?"

He smiled at his ever efficient and always kindhearted daughter. He didn't dare say no, knowing she lived for this sort of thing. "Yes, I need some shaving cream. Thanks for asking, I'm almost out."

She smiled brightly. "You can't shave your face without shaving cream, can you?"

"Nope, so it's a good thing your going to the grocery store, Mommy won't kiss me when I have too many whiskers and I can't live without kisses from your mom."

Elie giggled over that, looking at her mother. "Daddy says he can't live without kisses from you."

Michelle smiled, "He can have as many as he wants."

She relayed the message, "She said you can have as many as you want."

"Really," he said happily, "then you better get me two cans of shaving cream so I can shave every hour."

Elie laughed, getting the joke. "I'll get you four cans!"

Steve laughed, "You're a good girl." He looked up at Danny standing at his door. "I have to go. I love you. Tell Mommy too."

"I love you too," she said, hoping to get his attention before he hung up. "Daddy!"

"What?"

"Will you be home to eat dinner with us?"

"I don't know honey, maybe."

"Will you be home before I go to bed?"

"I'll try but if I'm not, I'll come in and kiss you goodnight, ok?"

"Ok," she sighed, settling for those answers but not necessarily liking them. "Bye Daddy."

Steve hung up with a dismayed smile, missing them.

"Everything ok at home?" Danny asked him.

"Yes."

"Missing your girls?"

Steve smiled at his inquisitive guess. "Yes."

"Understandable."

"What's up?"

"The parents just arrived downstairs," he said somberly.

"Shit," Steve moaned.

"I know," he replied in the same disheartened tone. "Let's just get it done. They've waited long enough not knowing where their kids are."

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Steve sat in the Camaro that was idling in his driveway and looked over at Danny. "We've got a whole lot of nothing. A whole day of work and nothing."

"We've still got the video tape from the liquor store."

Steve huffed, "What video tape? We have two boxes of tapes that are in no particular order and not labeled. Every single one has to be sorted through in hopes that the girls show up on one. Not only does the guy have an ancient surveillance set up, but he doesn't even bother to set the correct time on the VCR. We could be looking at tapes from a year ago before we run across our victims, if we ever do."

"Tomorrow, we'll get something tomorrow. Max should be done with the autopsies by then." Danny motioned with his head towards the house, "Go kiss your girls goodnight."

Steve opened the door and got out, leaning over and talking to him before he shut it. "Will you let Gracie know about the babysitting?"

He nodded, "Ten bucks an hour," Danny said, "that's all you're allowed to pay her."

"Whatever. You tell that to my wife. If you've got the guts to argue with her about it."

Danny let out a low growl, "Ok, but nothing over fifteen an hour."

"I'll see you tomorrow," Steve laughed, shutting the door.

He came in to a quiet house, knowing the girls were already in bed, feeling bad about it. He heard the TV on in the family room across from the kitchen as he came down the hallway.

Michelle lay on the couch asleep with a magazine lying over her chest. He bent over and kissed her as she opened her eyes.

"Oh, hey. When did you get home?"

"Just now."

She sat up and stretched her arms. "How was your first day back?"

He didn't say anything but gave her that dismal look that told her he didn't want to talk about his day.

She read it like he was a book, knowing him well enough to leave it alone. "Are you hungry?"

"Yes, but relax, I got it." He went in the kitchen and opened the fridge seeing what was for dinner. He saw something wrapped up in tin foil and peeled up the edge of it. "Homemade pizza?"

Michelle came over and sat at the counter, "It turned out pretty good actually. There's BBQ with chicken and one pepperoni."

He set three slices on a plate and put them in the microwave, turning around and resting against the counter, facing her. "So how was your day?"

She shrugged, "Laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, dinner."

Steve smiled, "Are you tired of the stay at home mom thing already?"

Michelle bent her head, hiding her smile, "No, not really."

"Don't lie to me," Steve chuckled. "You don't have to feel bad about it."

She sat back looking at him with a rye smile. "I don't know if I can do this day in and day out."

The microwave timer went off. "Then don't."

"I know you want me home with the girls though."

"That's not what I said." He set the plate on the counter, facing her again as he picked up a slice and took a bite. "I said I like having you here with the girls, but if there's something you feel that is missing, like a job, then go back to work."

"Well I can't until after the baby is born anyway," she sighed, "and then it will be at least three months before I feel comfortable leaving it with somebody. So I'm well over a year away anyhow."

"So…what's the answer?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe I'm just feeling stir crazy now that you're back to work. I'm here alone all day with them. I mean, I love being here with them, but today just seemed so…"

"What?"

"Routine, quiet. I came from a job that was highly involved in intelligence and travel and excitement, to folding clothes and scrubbing the kitchen floor."

Steve stopped before taking another bite, "You aren't thinking about going back to work for List are you?"

"No!" she quickly responded, but then shrugged slightly as if not totally sure. "I don't know, maybe not with him, but something like that."

He looked at her firmly yet nervously, "I don't want you to travel for a job anymore. That's the only stipulation that I'm asking from you. I don't care if you go to work for the circus as long as it's not a traveling one."

She understood his fear over that, putting his worries at ease. "Ok," she agreed, "I hear you. I won't. I don't want to anyway." She had no intention of leaving them again.

"Good," he smiled, "then you do whatever your heart desires."

"Maybe I can get a job with HPD academy teaching marksmanship," she teased.

Steve didn't see it as joke though. "I think you'd be great at that. We could go out and get some practice in at the shooting range, not that I think you'd need much, but it's been a while since you've held a gun?"

She tilted her head, amazed over his response, "Are you serious? You really think I could do that?"

"Yes, absolutely."

"I was just joking."

"Why? You're the best shot I'd ever seen with a handgun. To this day I've never seen anyone that can shoot as straight and accurate as you can on the fly."

She smiled shyly over his admiration of her. "Thank you."

"It's the truth." He winked at her. "I'm getting turned on just thinking about it." He came around the counter to where she was sitting, "You in your fatigues with camouflage grease on your face."

Michelle rolled her eyes at him as he swiveled her chair so she was facing him, moving between her legs.

"A 45 caliber strapped to your left hip." He moaned, licking his lips, "A Berretta in your right hand." He leaned in to her face as she giggled over his seduction. "Finger on the trigger, ready to fire."

She put her hand between his legs, "And a cannon in my left hand."

He raised an eyebrow, "A cannon huh?"

She wrapped her legs around him, pulling him in closer, "A powerful, accurate shaft, and the biggest balls I've ever seen."

Steve laughed, "I hope you're referring to courage now, otherwise I sound like I have an infection."

Michelle laid her head back laughing over that. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm not very good at this am I?"

"You're perfect," he grinned. "All you really have to do to seduce me is kiss me. I'll be helpless against you after that."

She pressed her chest against his as she stared at him, holding him hostage with her eyes before she slowly pulled him down and kissed him.

His reaction was exactly what she had hoped for, reaping the benefits as he kissed her back, enjoying his talent that made her feel just as vulnerable to him.

When they finally broke he felt weak yet charged up at the same time. "Please," he begged to her, "let's go to bed right now. Don't make me beg, but please, please, please let's go to bed," he grinned, kissing her again.

"I'm ready for bed," she agreed wholeheartedly.

"Hang on," he said in a deep voice, wrapping an arm around her lower waist and hoisting her off the chair as she giggled, holding on around his neck with her arms and her legs at his waist.

They laughed as he struggled to carry her down the hall.

He stopped at the front door. "Lock it," he said, hoisting her up higher on his waist.

"Oh God," Michelle gasped, "you're going to break your back and then I'm never going to get laid."

He started laughing harder, using the wall to help hold her up. "Set the alarm you shameless hussy."

He managed to get her upstairs, crawling up on the bed with her still attached and laying down with her. They laughed for a few more seconds, enjoying their playfulness.

He nestled himself on top of her, smoothing back her short hair, enjoying her smile that could light up his mood anytime, anywhere.

"God you're beautiful," he said sincerely.

She glided her finger over his bottom lip, "So are you. Sometimes all I have to do is just think about you and my heart beats so fast I can hardly breathe."

She kept him grounded, but at the same time she fed his ego, making him feel secure as not only a husband but as a man. He brushed his lips over hers, whispering to her. "I want to go slow tonight. I want to savor you."

She could feel that familiar wave of love wash over her as her heart began to beat out of control, reaching down and pulling his shirt over his head.

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Nick stood just outside the gate, looking through the metal railings at the house McGarrett went inside. He recognized the guy who was with him now too after following them. He'd been there at the compound that day. It didn't click until he saw them together. He was there. They were partners.

He looked up to the second story windows, wondering which room the kids slept in. The lights went out just then and he could see shadows moving past the front door window. She was in there. He was so close he could almost smell her sweet sweat that would be on his body after he'd been with her. She had been his last, feeling that humiliation again as Lori came into his thoughts.

He strangled the life out of her more so over anger. He wanted to teach her a lesson that teasing and tormenting a man had consequences. He was going to do to her what he'd done to Michelle but when it came down to the actual act, Michelle was so far imbedded in his head that he couldn't perform. He felt nothing down there. She had ruined him as a man. The anger and humiliation over it rose up in such a fury that he remembered picking Lori up with the one hand and throwing her over the edge, hearing her scream then, feeling somewhat justified.

It reminded him of Michelle's defiance and strong will. He recalled never hearing even the slightest moan from her. Even when he cut her hair off she never made a sound, not a whimper or a plea, nothing. God he hated her.

He wanted to make her suffer in the worse way. He wanted her to beg him for relief from the pain. He had several ideas and fantasies of what he was going to do, but now as he stood there looking upon her fairytale home in paradise with her two little angels that slept safely and securely inside; he saw a vision of that house in turmoil. He heard her begging for relief in the screams that he would finally hear once and for all. He had his plan, now it was just a matter of executing when he would carry it out. Patience and time, he thought. Patience and time will ensure the greatest results.


	15. Chapter 15

Steve handed the jewelry store owner his credit card as he admired the ring that was sitting in the black box before him.

"What do you think?" he asked Danny.

"Nice! Good job."

"I think she'll like it."

"What girl wouldn't like jewelry?"

"Michelle," Steve chuckled. "Her wedding ring is the only piece of jewelry I've ever bought her. She has a couple pairs of earrings that she keeps in a glass bowl on her dresser but besides that, she doesn't have any jewelry. Hates it."

"She's low maintenance," Danny declared truthfully. "How you got so lucky to end up with her is beyond me."

"Believe me partner, I've asked myself that same question over and over."

The man thanked him and wished him a happy anniversary as he signed the receipt.

They walked out of the store together as Nick sat across the street watching Steve admiring the small box in his hand, knowing exactly what it was without even having to guess.

He pulled out the chain from under his shirt and chuckled as he kissed Michelle's ring. "I appreciate you buying her that replacement, it will go nice around my neck with the last one I took."

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Michelle came out of the house as the truck backed up into their driveway. She smiled happily as the girls stood at her side.

"What do you think?" she asked them of the dirt bike in the back of the truck.

Ellen looked up at her. "That's Daddy's annversry present?"

"Anniversary," she corrected her, "and yes it is. Do you think he'll like it?"

"I like it!" Ellen said jumping up and down. She went to run toward the truck when Michelle caught her by the shoulder.

"Hold up, wait until Ben gets backed in."

"Does it go really fast?" Elie asked her uneasily.

"Yes!" Ellen screeched. "I want to go for a ride with him!"

Michelle laughed, "I don't know about that. It's for when he goes with Chin and Ben. They go really, really fast."

Elie shook her head taking a step backward, "I don't think I want to go for a ride on that."

Michelle put a hand on her head, "I'm with ya on that. Me either." But in actuality she really did.

"He's going to be so happy!" Ellen shouted.

Michelle went over to the friend that got out of the truck and greeted him. "Hi Ben."

"Aloha!" he said, bending over as the girls came rushing over to him.

"Hi Ben," they both said simultaneously, hugging him individually.

"How's my two favorite kiekies in the whole world?"

"Fine," they both answered.

Ellen wandered off toward the edge of the truck to admire the motorcycle while Elie stayed next to him.

"Thanks for doing this," Michelle said.

"No problem at all, Michelle. Steve's is going to be stoked when he sees this."

Her smile showed her excitement. "I know. He needs a new one but he'd never buy one for himself in a million years. He wouldn't think it was practical," she said, rolling her eyes.

"You're a good wahine," Ben said to her. "When are you going to give it to him?"

"Tomorrow night. Danny's daughter is babysitting and Steve and I are going out to dinner. I was going to give it to him just before we leave."

"Nice." He looked around the driveway, "Where do you want me to put it for now?"

"In the shed if you could please. He won't go in there before tomorrow."

"I'll need some help getting it down."

"Girls go out back and play on the deck until Ben and I can get this down."

"I want to watch," Ellen whined.

"Ok, but stay out of the way honey. Sit on the bench."

Ellen ran over and crawled up on the two-seater bench by the front door.

Elie wasn't as impressed. "Will you come and say goodbye before you leave?" she asked Ben.

He put a hand on her head, "Of course I will."

"Can I pour some lemonade Mommy for Ben?"

Michelle started to say no; afraid she'd spill it, but changed her mind, not wanting to shut down her courteous gesture. "Sure, I think that would be very nice. Get a glass from the dishwasher though, ok?"

"Ok," she replied happily running into the house. "I'll put it on the table on the lanai, Ben," she yelled to him.

"Mahalo darling, I can't wait. I'm sooo thirsty." He looked over at Michelle. "You're kids are awesome."

"Thank you. I have to agree they are pretty great if I say so myself."

Ben jumped in the back of the truck. "Good parenting." He pointed at her hair, "By the way, I like the new cut."

"Oh…yea," she said, running a hand over her short hair. "Thanks. I had a little mishap and had to cut it off. I'm growing it out though."

He flipped the straps off, "Lets get that gate down."

Elie set one of the tall glasses that only her mother and father used on the floor in front of the refrigerator. She carefully poured the lemonade in it from the carton. Once it was full to the top she put the carton away and just as carefully, carried it out on the back deck and down by the gate where the table was. She sat down and looked back over her shoulder, seeing her mother and Ben untying the motorcycle.

"Hi," Nick said to her as he stood in the sand, eye level with the deck, holding the bottom of the steel railings that ran along the end of it and then dropped off to the beach.

Elie looked at him curiously. It wasn't uncommon to see people walking down the beach, even though their end of it was pretty quiet to tourists, it was mostly traveled by locals looking to find a good push off place to the surf spots.

"Hi," she said politely.

He looked past her seeing Michelle for the second time that day. The first was after Steve had left that morning. He'd come around the back from a walkway a few houses down as he did now and saw her in the kitchen through the sheer curtains that covered the windows. He almost made his move then, feeling his anger growing just over the sight of her. He held back, reminding himself again that patience would be his virtue.

"Are you Ellen?" he asked, knowing the names of the twins.

"No, that's my sister.

He smiled, "Oh, then you must be Elie."

She looked at him quizzically trying to remember where she'd seen him before and then heard her father's voice in her head. "I don't know you. I'm not supposed to talk to people I don't know." She got up from the table to go back inside.

"I know your Daddy, Steve. He's a friend of mine."

She sat back down again over hearing that. "You do?"

Nick nodded, "He's at work right now with Danielle right?" he said, not knowing of the nickname, Danny.

Elie laughed, not hearing that name very often. "His name is Danny."

"Oh," Nick laughed. "Thank you for telling me that. I just know your Daddy, not Danny." He stayed low and kept a close eye on the activity in the front of the house, not wanting to risk being seen.

"How do you know my Daddy? Are you a policeman too?"

"Why yes," he smiled. "I am."

She pointed back toward the front of the house. "My mommy got my daddy a new motorcycle for their annversay. Do you want me to go get her?"

"No," Nick replied quickly. "She looks busy. I can't stay. When is their anniversary?"

"Tomorrow. She's going to give it to him before they go to dinner. He's going to be so happy," she smiled, anticipating her father's excitement, but her smile turned to a nervous frown, "but I don't want to go for a ride on it."

"Are you going to dinner with them?"

She shook her head, "No, Daddy said they're going to a place that Ellen and I wouldn't like, but," her face lit up again. "Gracie is going to come over and babysit us!"

"Wow! Who is Gracie?"

"Danny's her Daddy."

He looked past her again, seeing the man close up the back of the truck. "Well that sounds like lot's of fun. I have to get going now. I'm going swimming." He walked along the railing wanting to get out of sight. "It was nice talking to you, bye."

"Bye," Elie waved.

He looked through the house, seeing the other twin come running down the hall followed by Michelle as she talked to a man that walked with her. He disappeared down the beach, not wanting to be seen by Michelle, nor wanting to have to tangle with the man. He looked every bit of what he would picture a Hawaiian warrior to look like, including the native tattoos that spread across his chest and arms and up and down the calves of his legs.

He sprinted through the sand and back to the trail between the houses two doors down from them, running up the path toward his car that was parked down the way. He couldn't help but feel jubilated over his conversation with the child.

They tried to kill him and leave him for dead in a tunnel like an animal. They tried to take away the most precious thing he had, his life. In return, he thought sinisterly, he'd take away what was most precious to them.

Elie stood at the railing where the man had been and looked down in the direction he had gone. She turned around when she heard them coming out, seeing Ellen come up and stand next to her.

"Who were you waving too?"

"Daddy's friend was here. He just left."

"Who?"

Elie shrugged, "I don't know his name."

"You're not supposed to talk to people you don't know."

"He knows Daddy."

"Mommy," Ellen tattled out. "Elie was talking to someone she didn't know."

She looked at her accused daughter. "When?"

Elie cringed, sitting back down at the table.

"Just now," Ellen answered for her.

"Where?" Michelle said, going to the end of the deck. "On the beach?"

Elie didn't say anything, feeling tears fast approaching over not following her parent's rules. Especially one she'd been told over and over by her father.

Michelle looked over at her. "Answer me. Who were you talking too?"

"He said he knew Daddy. He was a policeman."

"Which way did he go?"

Elie pointed down the beach.

Ben went down the stairs and out the gate standing on the sand looking down but seeing no one. "I don't see anyone."

"He said he was going swimming."

"Did he come up here, or did he want you to come down to the beach with him?"

Elie shook her head, "No. He just stopped and said hi to me. I told him I wasn't supposed to talk to people I didn't know, like Daddy says."

"And he told you he was a police officer?"

She nodded.

"It was probably just someone Steve works with," Ben commented, coming back up and closing the gate.

"Did he know your name?"

Elie nodded, "He thought I was Ellen."

"See," Ben said. "He's got pictures of them all over his office."

"What did he look like? Did he have hair and tattoos like Daddy and Ben on his arms?"

Elie shrugged, not thinking about him not having hair, he had a baseball hat on and she didn't see tattoos since she could only see his face from where he stood. "He was nice."

Michelle could see the shame all over her daughter, feeling bad now for her tone of voice over her interrogation. "You did the right thing by telling him you weren't supposed to talk to strangers. Next time that happens though, you should come inside the house and get me or Daddy ok?"

"Ok," she replied quietly.

She let it go, taking Ben's theory that it probably was just a friend that Steve worked with. It was no secret people knew where they lived. It was a small island, and they had run across people before walking down the beach that they knew. She felt the paranoia in her ease down as she convinced herself that it couldn't be him. He didn't know the girls names, nor did Elie see the tattoos that would have been apparent. She was being overly cautious for no reason. Time had eased her worry of the threats that he'd tried to intimidate her with. She understood now as Steve had originally told her that it was just a mental tactic to get her to talk while she was being held captive.

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Chin clicked the remote to the VCR on pause as Steve walked into his office.

"How you doing with those tapes from the liquor store?"

Chin sat back in his chair and wiped his hands over his eyes and face. "Shit, I'm going blind over watching these in fast forward so do me a favor, move slowly for me will ya?"

Steve laughed, "How far along are you?"

"About halfway or so. I've seen a couple of people I know and couple more shop lifting, but I haven't come across our victims yet."

"Ok," Steve sighed. "Do you want me to take over for a while?"

"No. Why should both of us suffer brain damage, besides, don't you have a date tonight?"

"As a matter of fact I do," he grinned, "so I'm glad you said no. Standing my wife up on a normal night would be bad enough, but on our anniversary…" he huffed, "I'm pretty sure I'd be paying for it for a long time."

"You got that right, but that ring you got sure would smooth things over. I saw it on your desk, hope you don't mind but I took a look. You out did yourself. It's beautiful."

"Thanks. I think she'll like it." He pointed over his shoulder, feeling bad for leaving him hanging on a Friday night. "Are you ok then if I get out of here?"

Chin waved him off, "Yes, go. Enjoy your night."

"Don't stick around here too long. We're working tomorrow. If you don't find anything tonight, I'll finish these up tomorrow."

"Hey," Chin said to him. "We'll find something on this case. I know you're stressing over how cold it's become but something will turn up."

Steve leaned against the doorframe of his office, crossing his arms. "Yea, I know. I just thought for sure Max would come up with some kind of physical evidence."

"Those bodies were open to the elements for two weeks," he reminded him.

Steve nodded but his expression showed his frustration and disappointment. "Did you have them scan that Dixie cup for DNA?"

"Yes. They haven't got the results back yet. I just talked to them about an hour ago." He waved him off again. "Seriously, let it go for the night. Go and spend some time with your wife. We'll pick up tomorrow and get things resolved."

He smiled as he pushed off the door, "You're right. I'll see you tomorrow."

He walked back over to his office and picked the ring up off the desk, opening the box and admiring it again. It was going to look good on her finger he thought, pleased with himself over other purchase. It had been time consuming and stressful picking out just the right one, but in the end, he felt certain he had chosen well. It screamed out 'Michelle'.

He waved once more at Chin as he walked out. "Don't stay late," he yelled out to him.

"Don't be in too early," he heard back just before the doors closed.

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Steve came down stairs dressed in dark pants and a light blue dress shirt. Danny and Gracie were already in the kitchen with the girls as he came down the hall.

"Hey," he acknowledged Gracie by putting an arm around her shoulder. "Thanks for coming over."

"You're welcome. I love babysitting for you guys." She looked at the girls with an excited expression. "We're going to have a blast!"

They both clapped their hands excitedly.

"We won't be too late, "Steve said to Danny, "maybe eleven or so. I'll drop her off."

"Sounds good." He focused on Gracie. "Lock up after Steve and Michelle leave and don't open the door to strangers."

"I know Danno," she rolled her eyes, "you can go now."

"You can go now," he mocked her in a whiny voice. "She doesn't appreciate me."

Steve came to her rescue. "We all appreciate you Danielle," he assured him with a bored sigh as he guided him toward the door. "But we will appreciate you more after you've left," he teased him.

Danny looked up as he spotted Michelle coming down the stairs wearing a dark blue dress that ended about mid-thigh. It had a low V-neck and fit to her body as if it were designed just for her. The baby bump barely showed as she was still in the early stage of pregnancy. "Holy smokes, look at you!" he declared with a whistle.

She stopped and did a seductive pose with her hand on the wall. "You like?"

He didn't reply to her but just looked back at Steve who stared at her with the same thoughts. "You lucky bastard. You don't deserve that."

"Wow!" Steve said, ignoring Danny, too transfixed on his wife. "You look amazing." He went and stood on the bottom step wanting a full view. "That dress. I've never seen that before."

"It's new," Michelle boasted. "I got it for tonight."

"We helped pick it out," Elie chimed in. "Doesn't she look pretty Daddy?"

"Pretty?" he shook his head, putting his hand over his heart. "She looks stunning. Heart stopping."

She came down the steps carefully in her four-inch heels as she stood on the step above him, looking down at him as he put his arms around her. "I thought you'd like it."

He stepped back and held his hand out, guiding her down the rest of the way. "Mmmm," he moaned admiring the seamless fit from the back, "I do like."

He wanted to go out to dinner just to be seen in public with her, but picking her up over his shoulder and carrying her back up to the bedroom seemed like a good idea too.

They both watched her as she walked down the hallway to the kitchen.

Steve gently nudged him with his elbow, motioning with his head toward Michelle. "That's my wife," he smiled proudly.

Danny just laughed and headed toward the door. "Have fun tonight." He yelled over his shoulder to Gracie, "Lock up and set the alarm."

"I will," she shouted back in an annoyed tone. "Bye Dad."

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Steve stopped at stoplight and glanced over at Michelle in the seat next to him. His eyes started at her long legs that were crossed and slowly moved up her body, admiring her breasts in the low cut dress and even more so that she was braless. "Damn you look good tonight."

She leaned over and kissed him for that. "So do you."

The light turned green and after a couple hundred feet he pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. They chose a place on the east side of the island, away from the touristy area. It was owned by a local upcoming chef that couldn't afford the high rent in Waikiki but was quickly making a name for himself, and so was his restaurant. The menu was small, expensive but exceptional and the atmosphere was elegant.

Steve got out and came around to her side, opening up her door after ordering her to stay put.

She took his hand and slid out of the truck standing almost at the same height as he with her shoes. He closed the door behind her and put an arm around her waist. "Thank you again for the bike," he said giving her a kiss. "It was completely unexpected. I love it."

"I'm glad, and you're welcome."

"Before we go inside, I have something for you too."

"You do?" she smiled.

He reached in his blazer pocket and took out the ring box, handing it to her. "Happy Anniversary."

She knew what it was before she even opened it. "Oh Steve," her emotions began to get the better of her, missing that symbol on her finger that represented her bond with him. She opened the box and gasped. "Oh my god," she whispered, "its beautiful."

He took it out and held her left hand, slipping it on. "I know I've told you a thousand times how much I love you, but I just hope you know that every time I say it, to me it feels like the first time. I wouldn't know how to live without you, Michelle. Here's to the best seven years of my life. Happy Anniversary, baby, I love you." He sealed it with a kiss.

She felt her knees weaken, the same as she did the first time he kissed her on that busy street in Thailand. It was as if time had stood still. She could barely focus on him through the tears that sprang up in her eyes. "I love you too."

"Don't cry," he chuckled. "You know how I get when you cry." He could feel his own emotions begin to get the better of him. "Come on," he said taking her ring hand. "Let's go eat."

She pulled back on his hand as he turned back around. "I have one more gift for you tonight," she smiled seductively.

He raised an eyebrow over the charming grin on her face, "Really? What could be better than a new dirt bike?"

She cupped the back of his neck and whispered in his ear. "I'm not wearing anything under this dress." She pulled back and looked at his dazed expression, pleased by it. "Nothing," she repeated in a sexy voice.

"Oya," was the only coherent word he got out over her confession that sent his mind reeling into X-rated mode.

She squeezed his hand and took the lead to the front door, glancing back at him as he practically stumbled along, staring at her backside as if she were already naked.

The lobby already had several people waiting to get a table as they made their way to the front. They were seated right away after having made reservations a couple of weeks in advance. Steve sat down next to her rather than across, waiting until the host left before putting a hand on her knee and leaning over, looking her directly in the eyes. "I want you, now."

She saw it all over his face that was flushed. It was about the sexiest expression she had ever seen on him, knowing she had awoken the beast in him, jubilant over her ability to still make him feel that way. "What about dinner?"

"I want you for dinner," he whispered and then did something that even surprised himself in the crowded restaurant. He leaned over and kissed her, showing her just how badly he really did want her.

He in turn unlocked the vixen in her with that kiss, feeling that same dazed sensation overcome her now. "Where should we go?" she asked him, completely on board with his idea.

His mind was racing. Oahu wasn't accustomed to having hotels that could be easily accessed at the last minute. They were pretty much none existent and the rental house was occupied until the next day.

She came up with a suggestion for him, seeing him struggling with a solution. "You know what? The backseat of the truck would work for me."

A smile slowly emerged on his face over her adventurous nature. "We could drive up to Poamoho point."

She nodded in agreement. "Ok."

He stood up first, pulling her chair out. The waiter appeared just then as they began their departure.

"Sorry," Steve said to him, pulling out his wallet and handing him a ten for the trouble of holding the table for them. "We can't stay."

He took her hand and guided her out of the busy restaurant, holding back the urge to run.

He flipped the alarm off the truck but before opening her door, he pinned her against the side of it, kissing her like he never had before, giving her a sample of what was to come.

She wrapped a leg around his pushing herself into him as the kiss deepened.

She had to force herself to pull away from him, feeling they were making a spectacle of themselves in the parking and partly fearing they may never make that drive having the backseat of the truck right there and her want for him now was off the charts.

"How fast can you get us there?" she breathed heavily.

He reached around her and opened the door, "I'll use the sirens," he joked.

He came around the other side and got in, barely getting the truck started before she interrupted their plans by planting another kiss on him.

She scooted over next to him as he pulled out of the parking lot headed toward their final destination. Her hand moved over his chest, unbuttoning his shirt halfway down, giving her free access to his body as she kissed his neck, all the while his left hand was on the steering wheel but his right was caressing the inside of her thigh, being reminded there were no encumbrances in the way under that material. He kept his hand in a respectable place, enjoying the anticipation of what was to come. The wait was like foreplay, making him want her all the more.

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Gracie flipped the top of the pizza box closed and went to pick up the plates in front of the girls. "All done?"

"Yes!" Ellen moaned, pushing her plate towards her and then taking a final drink of her milk.

"Me too," Elie said, setting down the piece in her hand. "I don't want no more."

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Gracie asked them.

"Yes!" they both agreed.

"Have you seen _Little Mermaid_?" Ellen asked her.

"Yes," Gracie said, hoping to divert them to another movie since she'd seen that one countless times. "Have you ever seen _The Incredibles_?"

They both looked at each other. "I don't think so."

Gracie smiled brightly, "Ok that's it. We have to watch it, you'll love it!"

They agreed excitedly, looking up to her as a big sister, believing everything she said, and wanting more than anything else to please her too.

Nick stood just outside the back patio door, peeking around the corner through the glass, watching them. His first plan was to break in and take one of them, maybe two. The terror of a missing child felt justifiable, but he didn't know where he would keep them and what he would eventually do with them. Letting them go would be reckless, and he wasn't sure he could toss them aside as easily as Lori and Mandy. So he wiped out that plan but knew he wanted something that would leave Michelle, Steve and now that other prick Danny in chaos. Something that would shatter their perfect little worlds and bring them to their knees. The idea came to him in a flash, a bright burning flash. He could walk away from that and not have to physically do anything; nature would solve his dilemma of that dirty deed.

* * *

Michelle wiggled out of the top part of her dress, pulling it down around her waist as Steve lifted up the bottom it, covering her mid section but leaving the rest of her beautifully exposed.

She lay across the backseat of the truck as he hovered over her, one hand bracing on the armrest of the door and the other caressing her bare body as she undid his belt. Both of them were breathless and anxious, anticipating the first few seconds of their lovemaking that was utter bliss.

His hand moved down between her legs and she gasped at the feel of his gentle touch as he worked her, knowing exactly what would bring her the most pleasure.

He felt her hands slide inside of his pants over his waist around the back into his underwear, pulling them and his pants down at the same time freeing him as they simultaneously kissed each other.

Her lips moved to his neck as he took over the job of guiding himself into her, finding that sweet spot as she wrapped her legs around him and lifted her hips, helping the cause.

The small space they were in posed no handicap as they found that rhythm that satisfied both of their needs, praising the other for the incredible sensations that were rippling through them.

He slid an arm under her neck, bracing her shoulders so she wouldn't move while he did the work for both of them.

They looked at each other in the darkness that surrounded the truck. They parked it off the beaten path of a trail that was only known by locals. She moved her hand up through his hair, savoring the moment as they basked in the light that came from each other, shining brightly in their eyes that held the others gaze.

"You feel too good," she declared, her soft voice filling the air. "I'm not going to last very long," she admitted, already fighting off the impulses that kept begging to get out, forcing them into submission.

"You like it in the truck," he grinned.

"I like you," she corrected him. "Truck, bed, floor, wall, shower as long as it's you, I like it."

He kissed her for that, picking up his pace, but keeping his sight on her, roaming over her face with his eyes. "Only you. I'll never be with anyone else. You keep me sane," he brushed his lips over hers, "except now, like this, when you drive me insane." He pushed into her, enjoying the sensual reaction on her face over it, repeating the motion slowly and deeply, over and over. He was a master at knowing his wife's body and her needs. "Don't fight it," he panted, "let it come," feeling himself reaching that plateau. He had also become a master at controlling his own needs, waiting until she had succumbed before seeing to himself.

She tightened up her body, feeling his muscles work as he brought them both to the end.

* * *

Nick jogged quickly down the sand trail between the two houses carrying two red gas containers. He stopped at the end that opened up to the beach, carefully making his way in the dark, keeping a look out for any people. The beach was deserted as well as the neighboring occupants of the houses he passed, except the one he wanted. He stood in the same place he had the day before while he spoke to Elie, looking through the metal railing at the house.

Gracie pulled the covers up over Ellen's head and then back down again as all three of them giggled. She tucked it around her body, knowing they liked that and then went over to Elie and did the same.

"I had fun tonight," she said to both of them. "I'll tell your mom and dad when they get home that you were really good."

"I had fun too," Ellen said, looking over at her as she tucked Elie in.

"Me too," Elie said. "We want you to babysit for us all the time."

Gracie smiled over that. "That would be awesome." She stood up and went to the door, closing it part way. "Go to sleep. I'll be downstairs if you need anything. Good night."

"Good night," they both said.

She went back downstairs and into the family, cleaning up the kitchen from the ice cream sundaes they had made earlier.

Nick knelt down below the window of the laundry room, tipping one of the ten-gallon gas cans over as it spilled out into the space between the house and the cement foundation. He left the container to empty as he snuck back over to the other side of the house, repeating the same procedure with what was left from the other canister.

He scooped up the four glass pop bottles that were filled with gasoline and had pieces of material sticking out of the top. He backed up away from the house and looked up toward the second story windows.

Gracie closed the dishwasher and wiped her hands on the dishtowel. She glanced at the clock on the oven. She had about fifteen minutes before Steve and Michelle would be home. She went in the family room and tidied up the pillows on the couch wanting to leave the house neat, considering it apart of her work detail, especially since they paid her so much. She began to think about the trip to the mall she was going to make with her pay when she smelt something out of the ordinary.

"What is that?" she said out loud, making a face over the odor, realizing then it was gas. She went to the garage, thinking first that a gas can had spilt over, wondering how that could have happened though since no one had been in the garage.

She opened the door and turned the light on, glancing around and not seeing anything or smelling it in there. She was confused as she closed the door how the odor could be stronger in the other room. Just then she heard glass-breaking coming from upstairs and then heard it again coming from a different area. She felt a terrifying chill run through her.

Her first thought was that someone was breaking in, and then the second was the girls up there alone.

She ran toward the front door, seeing the alarm system flashing, showing the area that had been breached. She reached for the panic button like her father had showed just as the fire alarms began to go off all over the house. She glanced over her shoulder, as her eyes grew big over the flood of smoke that filled the family room.

"Elie! Ellen!" she screamed running up the stairs, seeing smoke coming from the guest bedroom across from theirs.

Nick ran around to the other side of the house and tossed the burning piece of paper into the crawl space. The fumes that had gathered ignited around him as he jumped back, avoiding the flames and explosion that were even more destructive than the other side he had lit. He ran to the back of the house as smoke already began to pour out of the laundry room window. It had started faster and more furious than he had anticipated. The alarms were going off all over the place and he knew that his window of escape was now limited. The Fire Department would be arriving in minutes as well as the police.

Gracie ran down the hallway screaming for the girls as they both came to the door, the expressions on their faces just as frightened as hers.

She grabbed their pajama tops and ran down toward Steve and Michelle's room first, panicked over the smoke that filled the hallway from the guest bedroom and also from the family room that was now making it's way up the stairs from below.

Ellen screamed out over the chaos as Elie quietly clung to Gracie's shirt, following with her.

She ran to the master bedroom sliding glass door that led to the lanai, pulling the curtains back and desperately trying to maneuver the lock, unaware of a safety latch at the bottom that was tripped by stepping on a small latch with your foot, put in by the previous owners. She pulled on the door that would only open inches, cussing at her effort that was getting nowhere. All the while hearing the screams coming from Ellen who was just making her own fear that much more apparent.

She knew they weren't going to be able to get out that way as she looked around her, seeing smoke coming from the master bathroom and a flame shoot up through the floor, hugging the wall by the bed.

She grabbed both girls again and ran for the hallway, knowing it was their only way out. "Hold your breath," she yelled to them as Ellen tried to fight her idea of going towards the smoke.

"No!" she screamed, trying to run backward away from the stairs.

Gracie let go of Elie and grabbed ahold of Ellen with both hands, practically dragging her, assured Elie would follow behind, not hearing the same panic in her gasps and whimpers.

"Come on!" Gracie yelled; as she pulled the four year old down the stairs, partly relieved there were no flames in their path just yet, only heavy smoke.

Elie held on to her shirt and closed her eyes, holding her breath as told as she went down the steps with them. She trusted Gracie and knew she would get them out before the house burned.

Elie's eyes suddenly flew open, feeling a terrible dread overcome her. She let go of Gracie and turned around, running back up the stairs for her doll Susie.

* * *

Steve stood outside the truck tightening his belt as he watched Michelle scoot her dress down over her legs. She looked up at him and they both chuckled over the dirty deed they had just performed for the second time in the backseat of the truck.

He put his arms around her body and hugged her as she put hers around his neck, returning the gesture.

"Mmm," he moaned. "I feel so much better now."

"Me too," she giggled. "That was fun."

He leaned back looking at her. "If you come up with anymore ideas like that, please feel free to voice your request," he kissed her, "because I will be more than happy to accommodate you."

She smiled seductively at him, "Can we do it again when we get home?"

He raised an eyebrow and purred like a cat over her suggestion, which in turn made her laugh out loud.

"I take that as a yes?"

"I wouldn't want to disappoint you on our anniversary, so if I must…" he playfully smacked her on the behind. "I will satisfy you again."

She reached around and grabbed one of his buttocks, squeezing it. "You're a good husband," she stood up on her toes and kissed him, "and an even better lay."

He in turn laughed at her this time as he bent over and scooped her up in his arms, "Well then lets get this show on the road."

He carried her to the driver's side and set her down. She scooted over as he climbed in next to her.

"Whoa," he said, grabbing her thigh. "Not so far," he grinned, wanting her close to him.

She moved back over next to him, laying her head on his shoulder as he started the truck. She glanced at the clock, "We should get home just in time."

"I'll drop Gracie off and you can meet me on the deck with a bottle of wine. We could go skinny-dipping. How does that sound?"

She didn't respond but kissed him below the ear, making her way down to his chest as she opened his shirt that was already unbuttoned halfway.

He moaned pleasingly as he maneuvered the truck down the deserted road in the dark.

* * *

Gracie pulled the front door open and dragged a screaming and choking Ellen with her. They stumbled off the concrete slab by the front door that led to the driveway, falling to their knees, coughing. Gracie wiped her hands over her stinging eyes, pulling the bottom of her shirt up and clearing away the tears from the smoke. She looked beside her, ready to aid Ellen and Elie but all she saw was the one twin. She scrambled to her feet, frantically searching their surroundings.

"Elie!" she shouted hoarsely past her dry throat. "Elie where are you?! Elie! Elie!" She ran to the front door, pushing it back open and was met by a wave of heat and flames that felt like being tossed into an oven. She put her arms over her face, stumbling backwards and falling on the driveway, screaming desperately for the child.

She saw a flash of light behind her, turning her head, seeing Steve and Michelle pulling in through the gate and coming to a screeching halt.

* * *

Nick ran down the deck toward the gate to the beach, pushing through it just as he heard a loud terrified scream come from inside the house. He stopped and looked over his shoulder, seeing smoke pouring from beneath where he'd emptied the gas containers and then all at once the sheer curtain covering the sliding glass doors to the deck became engulfed in flames.

He hesitated only for a second, knowing there were three kids inside, but that brief hesitation quickly faded as he retained his reason for being there.

They tried to kill him. They tried to shoot him down like a dog. He thought of the quote he'd heard so many times by leaders as they would justify the killing of children. " _The sins of the father are to be laid upon the children."_

He understood it clearly now, turning away from the burning house and down the steps to the beach.

He ducked down, running along the hedges in front of the neighbor's house, turning the corner and sprinting down the path that led toward the road where his car was parked three houses down.

He picked up his pace, hearing the sirens in the far off distance, knowing they would be there in no time. He saw his car about a hundred feet away in the darkness, feeling a jolt of satisfaction, knowing he'd done what he came to do and now he was home free.

He jumped in the driver's side and started the engine, throwing it in drive as he stepped on the gas, making a quick U-turn in the road, wanting to go in the opposite direction of the sirens and the house.

The back of his car fishtailed as he made the turn. He slammed on the brakes seeing headlights coming at him, not seeing the truck in his path as his car came to a stop.

"Fuck!" he yelled, as the lights shined in his face. He put his hand up, blocking the bright light and at the same time getting a view of the occupants as they stared directly at him.

Steve reached over, putting an arm across Michelle's chest at the same time that he stepped hard on the brakes, seeing the car in front of him taking a U-turn, cutting him off.

Michelle braced her hands on the dashboard and then fell back into the seat by the force of Steve's arm.

They both looked at the occupant.

It took her a second before she recognized the face that had been her source of a five-day nightmare, feeling her blood run cold as he stared up at her.

It took Steve a second longer, always having an image of the man in his head, but it was Michelle's words that sealed the doubts he was arguing with himself over the man's identity.

"Oh my God," she whispered hoarsely, grabbing his arm as all the fear came rushing back to her. "It's hh…him," she shuttered. "Steve!" she cried, "It's him!"

Nick saw the words coming from her lips even though he couldn't hear them. He stepped on the gas going around them and speeding down the road.

"Son of a bitch!" Steve shouted, throwing the truck in reverse to go after him when Michelle squeezed his arm.

"No!" she screamed. "The girls! The girls!"

He felt his heart skip, putting the truck back in drive and stepping on the gas.

As they came around the bend of the road he felt the same terror that Michelle did as she screamed, seeing the smoke billowing from the house as they raced towards it.

He pulled in through the gate, seeing Ellen and Gracie in the driveway. Flames and smoke consumed the living room by the front door.

They were out of the truck before it had come to a complete stop. Gracie stood up and ran towards them frantic.

"Elie!" she screamed hysterically. "I can't find Elie! I can't find Elie!"

Ellen was crying uncontrollably as she stumbled toward her parents, fearing the chaos that was everywhere. Michelle scooped her up in her arms, screaming for her other daughter.

Steve grabbed Gracie firmly by the shoulders. "Did she come out with you?!"

"I can't find her!" she bawled as the horror of the situation began to consume her.

Steve shook her trying to get to a firm answer. "Gracie! Is she still in the house?!"

She nodded, "Yes! She was right behind me, but she didn't come out!"

The fear that engulfed him was paralyzing, knowing his little girl was inside the burning structure. "Where?! Where?!"

Up…" she shuttered, "upstairs. We were upstairs!"

"Elie!" Michelle screamed, dropping Ellen and going for the house when Steve grabbed her around the waist walking backward while he scooped up Ellen with one arm and shoved her back into Michelle's arms. He cupped the back of her neck firmly, forcing her to look only at him as he got in her face.

"Stay here!" he pointed a finger at her, repeating it again, with even more conviction. "Stay here!"

She watched him run around the side of the house, knowing well that he'd accomplish what she had set out to do. She looked back over her shoulder hearing the sirens as they approached and seeing the flashing lights of the fire trucks.

Steve used his body to break through the six-foot wooden side gate, barely breaking stride as he ran down the side yard looking for a way in. The laundry room window was blown out but the smoke was too heavy, making it an impossible entrance. He came around the back and saw the same with the family room. He could see through the wall of windows the flames that went from floor to ceiling. "

Elie!" He shouted out his daughter's name feeling a wave of panic run over him like a truck. There was no way in from the downstairs.

He stepped back and took two long strides and jumped up, catching the bottom rail of the lanai outside he and Michelle's bedroom with one hand, reaching up with his other and grabbing the metal bars. He cinched his way up until he could grab the top and pull himself over, going for the sliding glass door, all the while her name repeated over and over in his head, telling her not to worry, Daddy was coming.

He pulled on the door, getting the same resistance that Gracie had.

"Elie!" he shouted, as he picked up one of the two metal decorative chairs that sat around a small white table. He swung it at the door, cracking the glass as he took a better stance and used all his strength to hit it again and again. On the third attempt the glass shattered, falling at his feet. He tossed the chair aside and ran inside the room as smoke rolled from the top of the ceiling out the broken door. Flames suddenly appeared from nowhere, feeding off the fresh oxygen that filled the room.

"Elie!" he screamed, going for the entrance to his bedroom in the pitch black. He knew of the laundry basket that sat right by the door, reaching inside and taking the first piece of clothing he found, covering his mouth and nose with the T-shirt as he made his way down the hallway.

"Elie!" he screamed out. "Elie!"

She hid under her bed, holding tightly onto her doll, sobbing with fear when she heard her father's voice.

"Daddy!" she cried out, barely able to speak without coughing, hearing her name again as he came closer. "Daddy!"

Steve stopped, hearing her faint cries as he felt his way down the hall to her room. "Elie!"

"Daddy!" she bawled, trying to get out from under the bed.

Steve moved towards her, seeing movement and her white pajamas as she tried to crawl from under the bed. He bent over, grabbing her arm and pulled her out and up into his arms in one swift motion, hugging her as she clung to his shirt and neck, crying hysterically.

"It's ok, baby, I'm here," he said to her, making his way back to the door. He took the t-shirt and used it to cover her face as he came out to the hallway. He looked back in the direction of the master bedroom but the flames had now almost completely consumed the room, making it impossible to pass through. The hallway leading down the steps was the same. His eyes and lungs burned from the toxic smoke that was all around them. He didn't think of himself but only of Elie and how he could get her out. The bathroom across the way had a small window that only she could fit through, but it would be her only escape at the moment. He ran inside and set her on the floor by the toilet, taking a towel off the rack and wrapped it around his hand. He punched the window over and over until the glass and plastic frame gave way, not feeling the broken bones from the blunt force, his adrenaline had taken over, concealing the pain.

The second the glass broke, a new wave of greedy smoke poured into the bathroom from the hallway. He reached over to shut the door but the heat coming up from the bottom floor had already warped the frame, making it impossible to close all the way as the room filled up almost instantly.

He could hear her coughing and choking as he grabbed her around the waist, pushing shards of glass away from the edges of the small window, trying to get her air as he coughed on the same fumes.

"Michelle!" he screamed out, wanting her to catch Elie but not willing to wait for her either. "Michelle!"

Michelle ran toward the fire truck as it pulled in their driveway. "My husband," screamed as they quickly departed the truck. "My daughter! They're inside! Help them!" she screamed frantically. "Hurry!" She heard her name just then from the side of the house. She set down Ellen and ran to the side, looking up at the broken bathroom window and saw his hand pushing away pieces of glass as smoke spilled out, rising above the house.

"Steve!" she screamed running beneath it, not knowing how he could breathe in there, praying he had Elie. "Help them!" she yelled to the fireman as one appeared, looking up and quickly assessing the situation. He called out to the others, giving directions and calling for a ladder.

Steve held Elie's body that was now limp, lifting her up to the window as he began to feel his own consciousness begin to give way. He tried to hold his breath, using the inside of his shirt to try and find even the slightest bit of fresh air, but it was nowhere to be found. He tried to push her through the window feeling the warmth on the tile floor through his shoes as it began to heat up.

' _Get her out! Get her out!"_ his head screamed as he tried to get her through the small space as he gasped for air but inhaled only smoke, feeling his body succumb to the lack of oxygen, fighting it with every ounce of his being for his daughters sake, but the fight came to an end.

He lost consciousness and collapsed on the floor.

Elie slid back inside, landing on top of his body.

Michelle stood below the window, frantically screaming their names in a desperate plea as the activity above her ceased, only the smoke visible.


	16. Chapter 16

**Note from Author** : _Hi, So, so sorry for the long delay. I apologize for leaving you hanging, it was tough on me too having ideas and not being able to get them down._ _The next chapter night be over a week too unless things settle down here. I have it written in my head just not in my computer. Thanks again for reading and for all the nice reviews! I love my H50 followers!_

* * *

Michelle tried to fight the Fire Captain as he pulled her away from the side of the burning house, all the while screaming for her husband and daughter who had vanished from the window. The bottom floor was completely engulfed in flames and thick, black smoke poured from the windows.

"You have to get away from the house," he yelled, forcefully guiding her around the front just as three firemen in full gear ran inside the front door.

"Please!" she begged, clinging to his arm, "Help them! Please, help them!"

"We'll get em' out," he said to her. "You need to stay here with your kids," he demanded. "Let us do our job."

She shook uncontrollably as she knelt down and huddled closely with Ellen and Gracie who were sobbing over the chaos.

"Please, please, please," Michelle shuttered, staring at the entrance, watching and praying for them to bring them out.

Two men climbed up a ladder to the bathroom window with axes on their back. She felt a spray of water and looked over her shoulder as two others dragged the heavy hose close to the entrance and pulled back on the nozzle as a jet stream of water came flying out, aimed at the roof. The Captain ran up to the front bay window and smashed it. The two men with the hose then maneuvered the spraying water through the hole, dousing the family room.

Michelle came to her feet and rushed toward the door as one of the fireman appeared carrying Elie's limp body in his arms. He ran past her toward the waiting Paramedics and ambulance attendees that had just pulled up.

"Elie!" she cried out, seeing her white pajamas tainted a dark grey from the smoke and an oxygen mask over her face. She chased after the fireman as he hurried to one of two laid out cooling blankets on the ground, waiting for their victims. He knelt on one knee and set her down, backing away and then turned and ran back toward the house just as the other two came out, one carrying Steve over his shoulder.

The Paramedics huddled around Elie, working speedily as they removed the temporary mask and replaced it with one that pumped in pure oxygen. The other took her vitals while one of the ambulance drivers prepped an IV.

Michelle stood over her with her hands cupped over her mouth, shocked and frightened over the condition of her little girl as she lay motionless on the ground while they worked on her. Her face was a deep red color and swollen. There was black soot marks around her mouth and under her nose were she had breathed in the toxic air. Tears streamed down Michelle's face, praying for her to be all right.

She thought of Steve just then and turned as they arrived with him next.

"Steve," she shuttered, reaching out to touch him as he lay over the shoulder of one of the fireman. He looked worse than Elie. His blue dress shirt he had on was cinched and practically melted onto his back and arms.

The fireman went down on one knee as another assisted in rolling him off his shoulder and laying him down. They first administered the oxygen and then laid the cooling blanket over his body, dousing him with water. His face resembled his daughters and his right hand was clearly broken in several places causing his knuckles to be swollen twice their normal size.

"Oh my God," she whispered, seeing death hovering over both of them. "Please," she begged God, "please don't take them. Please! Please!" She went down to the ground, unable to stand any longer as she crawled on her hands and knees to a place between them that wasn't occupied. She put a hand on Elie's hair, feeling the softness of it as they counted to three and scooped her up by the corners of the blanket and set her on a gurney, quickly wheeling her away to one of the two ambulances.

"I want to go with her," Michelle pleaded to a Paramedic that was working on Steve.

He nodded his head, "You have to sit up front, no room in the back." He looked past her, yelling out her request to the ambulance driver's.

She looked down at Steve, as he lay there covered in the blanket as they continued to pour water on him trying to cool him down. She wanted desperately to stay with him, but knew in her heart that she belonged with Elie and knew that's where he would want her to be too. She leaned over the top of him and kissed his forehead, feeling the heat coming from him as fresh tears filled her eyes.

"I love you," she said to him, not sure if he could hear her not. "I love you so much. Everything's going to be ok."

"Lets' go!" she heard the ambulance driver yell to her.

She backed away from him, feeling a dreadful sense of separation, looking at him again with a fear that it might be her last. Torn over leaving him alone.

"If you're going, you have to go now," the Paramedic said to her.

She stood up and realized she'd be leaving Ellen and Gracie behind. "Ellen and Gracie?" she pointed nervously.

"I'll bring them Michelle," a voice said to her left.

She looked over and recognized the Police Officer standing there but didn't know his name.

"Thank you," she whimpered as she turned and ran toward the ambulance where one of the attendees stood with the passenger door open, waiting for her.

Steve heard commotion around him in the sound of unfamiliar voices and the distant sound of sirens. His body felt like it was on fire when everything suddenly came flooding back to him.

' _Elie!_ ' he thought as a wave of fear shot through him. He tried to open his eyes but they were too swollen from a combination of the heat and smoke. He struggled to get up ignoring the pain in his back that felt like he'd been dipped in boiling water. He felt pressure on his body preventing him from getting up, unaware that the extent of his injuries wouldn't have allowed it anyway. He tried to speak, but his throat was too damaged for any coherent words to come out past the oxygen mask. The fear of needing to get to his daughter overwhelmed him, sending his heart rate soaring which in turn escalated his already limited breathing ability.

The man kneeling next to him spoke calmly as he quickly put together a shot to calm him down. He looked up at his partner, "We need to ventilate his lungs or we're going to lose him."

"I got it," the man said, having already read the signs as he moved to the head of his victim while the shot was administered. He held him firmly under the chin, waiting for the medicine to take effect so he could put a tube down his throat, all the while calmly telling him to relax.

A fellow officer that was beside him offered up the clarification he felt might ease the situation.

"Steve, your daughter was taken by ambulance to the hospital. Michelle is with her. You need to calm down, buddy. You'll be going too in just a minute."

He heard him, but needed to know more about Elie's condition, and more than that he wanted to tell someone about the man he saw, knowing it was he who started the fire. He didn't want Michelle and the kids alone. He reached up with his broken hand, trying to convey his thoughts when the officer mistook the action as a sign of fear, laying it back down again, holding onto his wrist.

"Its all right," he assured him, but he wasn't sure that was the truth. He looked a mess and his breathing sounded even worse.

He felt like he was suffocating under the duress and then all at once it was calm and he felt nothing.

The second his body went limp the Paramedic removed the oxygen mask and tilted his head back, prying his mouth open and inserting the metal instrument down his throat but the area was too swollen, making it difficult.

"Get it in," his partner demanded in a calm yet stressed voice as he watched the EKG monitor next to them that flashed off Steve's vitals, not liking where they were headed.

"I'll get it," he replied in the same determined tone, leaning further over him. He'd administered hundreds of these over his career but this one was proving to be the most challenging.

"Were losing him," his partner said stressing the situation. "Cut him!"

"No!" he said, taking a deep breath and trying again. "I got it!" He pulled back again on his neck. "Come on Buddy, work with me," he whispered to Steve, not wanting to do a Tracheostomy. At that second he felt the path that he'd been hoping for as the metal instrument opened up his throat. He slid the plastic tube down.

"Got it! Hook him up!"

His partner slipped on the hose that was attached to the oxygen as the air flowed freely to his lungs without the need for bodily assistance.

"Good job," his partner said, commending him.

"Lets get him out of here." He turned and motioned for the drivers that they were ready for transport.

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Michelle stood at the entrance of the ER nervously waiting for Steve's ambulance to arrive. They had already hurried Elie back. She had gone with them but was not allowed on the other side of the curtain as they worked on her, no matter how much she begged and pleaded. One of the doctors assured her that he would personally come and get her as soon as Elie was stable, reminding her of the next ambulance to arrive, hoping to distract her.

She focused on the driveway that led up to the door, not understanding what was taking so long with Steve. She stepped out in the ambulance bay and listened and watched for their arrival, but saw or heard nothing.

A terrifying thought suddenly penetrated her thoughts. ' _What if he didn't need a hospital? What if they took him to the Coroner instead?_ '

She felt her knees buckle as she leaned back against the brick wall outside, putting her hand over her heart that was already fearing the worse case scenario. Her mind cluttered with the horrendous thought of having to live without him. It was frightening beyond words, but even more than that, it was heartbreaking.

In the distance she saw it, pushing off the wall and moving to the end of the walkway, seeing the lights flashing as it came up the driveway toward her. She began to cry mainly from relief and because she knew his condition was going to be dire. She recalled the sight of his shirt burned to his back and the broken hand. He was almost unrecognizable behind the swollen face and eyes from the smoke. None of it mattered though she thought as they pulled up, he was alive and that's all she cared about. She'd take care of him no matter what his condition; the same as he stood by her when she came home from Jordan.

It was then that she recalled the vision of the man in their path on the road before finding the house. Her tears came to a sudden end as her anger ignited. It was him; there was no doubt in her mind, it was him. He was on their island and she was sure there was no other reason for his presence than to murder her family. Those words were still hovering around her as they pulled Steve out.

The gurney that held him was dripping with water as they continued to try and cool off his body. An oxygen tank lay next to him that connected to the tube that went down his throat and into his lungs. She gasped at the unfamiliar sight of him, never imagining she would ever see him as a victim.

"Steve," she called out to him as they went past her. She reached her hand out taking his as she ran along beside them. His skin was warm to the touch, too warm.

"It's ok, honey," she said to him reassuring herself as much as him. "Everything's going to be ok." She followed along with them to the back and like Elie she was stopped as she tried to go inside the room.

They didn't close the curtains like they did with Elie. She watched as people gathered around him, each one had a job and they worked perfectly in sync with one another as they performed it. Calling out numbers and using words she didn't understand.

They rolled him on his side as fresh tears welled up in her eyes, seeing the damage to his back and arms as his skin peeled off his back and hung in clumps. She bent her head not able to look at it, knowing his recovery was going to be long and painful.

She moved down two rooms to where Elie was and tried to see through the curtain that was partially closed now.

"I want to see my daughter," she called out. "Please, let me see her."

A nurse pulled the curtains back and motioned for her to come in, guiding her to the front of the bed. She had the same tube down her throat as Steve had and her little face was swollen as well. Her lips that held the most beautiful smile were already chapping and had a horrible blue tint to them.

"Is she going to be," Michelle choked on her words, "ok? Is she going to be ok?" she asked fighting back the tears, trying to be strong for both of them.

"Where going to send her up for an MRI and then to the Children's ICU," the ER doctor said. "She's stable right now, but still in critical condition. We won't know the extent of lung damage until the MRI."

"What about burns?"

He shook his head. "She doesn't have any, only severe smoke inhalation."

She thought about Steve's back and how bad it looked, wondering how it was that Elie didn't suffer the same, unless he somehow protected her from it, which she believed was probably the case. He ran into that burning house to save her with no regard for his own life. She knew if it came down to it, and it was between he or Elie, that Elie's life would have been the one spared.

The cause of the fire crept back into her thoughts once again, seeing the monster's face in the headlights. He did this. He tried to kill her children, and almost succeeded in killing her husband as well. He had to be stopped. It was up to her to take out the danger that was afflicting their lives.

"Ma'am," the doctor said, touching her on the arm after not being able to get her attention the other two times he called her. He mistook the expression on her face as a sign of shock, but in her mind she felt completely coherent.

"Yes," she replied calmly.

"We're going to take her upstairs now."

"She's going to be all right isn't she?"

"Her breathing and vitals are stable, he repeated again, but we still need to do the MRI."

Michelle nodded her understanding, needing that reassurance that she was going to be ok, knowing she couldn't stay, but knew she was in good hands. They were all in danger as long as the threat was still out there. She bent down and kissed Elie's forehead. "I'll see you soon my little angel. Mommy loves you so much."

She watched them until they got on the elevator and the doors closed. She moved down to Steve's room next. Seeing her family in turmoil had set the path for the determination of what she needed to do.

She stood just outside his room, staring at his face, seeing the man she had fallen in love with and who had stormed inside a burning house to rescue what was most important to them, family. She'd take over where he'd left off. She wasn't afraid to go alone and would if she had too.

She heard her name and looked down the hallway as Danny came rushing toward her, carrying Ellen and holding a still distraught Gracie's hand.

She wasn't alone, she thought somberly. Danny would be the perfect partner and after what happened to Gracie, she knew without a doubt, he'd also be perfectly willing.

"Ellen," she reached out for her daughter as fresh tears steamed down her daughter's face. They hugged tightly. "It's ok honey."

"Where's Daddy and Elie?" she asked between sobs.

"They're with the doctors getting all better."

"I'm so sorry," Gracie said as she covered her face, "I thought she was right behind me," she cried.

Michelle handed Ellen back to Danny and knelt down in front of Gracie, taking her gently by the shoulders, "Listen to me. You did exactly what you were supposed to do. What happened in that house was not your fault. You saved Ellen's life. I can't thank you enough for that." She put her arms around her and hugged her tightly. "Thank you. Thank you."

Gracie looked up at her father as he gave her an encouraging smile, having told her the same thing, but she needed to hear it from Michelle, which he was most grateful for.

She stood back up and looked at him square on. "We need to talk."

Her tone shed light on the importance of the subject, not getting the impression that it was about Steve or Elie's condition but about something much more profound, wondering what in the world could be more important at that moment. "Talk about what?"  
"I saw him Danny. Steve and I both did."

He looked at her questionably, "Saw who?"

She could feel the anger swelling inside of her. "From Jordan, the one that escaped in the tunnel." She knew that was the only description she needed. "He started the fire." She looked down at Gracie and back up at him, seeing the anger in a twitch around his left eye as he gathered the facts that not only had he tried to kill Ellen and Elie but that Gracie could have been just as easily laying in one of those rooms, or worse yet, still in the house.

"Are you sure?" he asked, trying to hold back the venom in his voice for the sake of his daughter's presence.

Michelle didn't reply but only nodded.

He didn't need a straight answer, it was written all over her face.

"We have to stop him before he gets off the island."

He set Ellen down and pulled out his cell phone, "You stay here with the kids. I'll take care of this."  
"No," Michelle said adamantly. "You don't even know who you're looking for. Did you ever get a look at him? I need your help, but I'm going after him with or without you."

He looked at her as if she'd gone temporarily insane. "What?! No you're not! Let me handle this. It's too dangerous. You're not qualified…" he stopped himself from finishing that sentence, forgetting whom he was talking too. She on the other hand reminded him.

"Not qualified?" she replied angrily. "You seem to be confusing me with a whole other body. Not only was I a decorated Navy Seal, but I also worked Naval Intelligence and served three years as a United States Secret Service Agent." She stared him down, "What part of any of that makes me unqualified?"

He couldn't argue with any of that, except one factor. "You're pregnant," he reminded her.

"I'll wear a vest," she countered, not backing down.

"You need to be here with Steve and Elie."

"For what? To sit in a waiting room for hours while that son of a bitch is out there maybe planning round two! You know as well as I do that Steve would do the exact same thing. So you might as well stop arguing with me and make whatever call you were about too, because we're just wasting time talking about this."

"Do you even know where to start? How are you going to find this guy?" Danny questioned, but it came out more as an interrogation of her lack of skills in this department.

"We were in Steve's truck. He has a dash cam. It'll show the plates and make of the car, plus a clean shot of his face. You can put out an APB on him, and we might be able to get an address from the car plate, or at least a name if it's a rental. You know he's got to be scrambling to get off the island knowing we saw him. Send that picture to airport security."

He let out a low growl from his gut as he shook his head, focusing back on his phone. He entered the number he wanted and put it back up to his ear, glaring at her. She was good, he had to admit that. It would have taken him at least a couple more minutes to realize the dash cam. He eventually would have thought of it though he assured himself.

She looked past him, ignoring the obvious sarcasm in his expression. She took Ellen's hand and walked to the edge of Steve's room. He was partially lying on his side, braced there by several pillows behind his back as they prepared to move him. The small room had vacated except for the ER doctor, a nurse and two orderlies that had just entered to move him. He was still hooked up to a ventilator that was breathing for him. His upper body was wrapped in white gauze from his neck to just below his waist, the rest was covered with a blanket. His face still swollen but the smoke and soot had been cleaned off.

"What's wrong with Daddy?" Ellen asked, her voice succumbing to the fear of seeing him as anything but the strong, towering figure that she could depend on every second of every day, not realizing for years to come that he utilized those very characteristics that night, saving her sister from the fire.

"He's just sleeping," Michelle replied, feeling that same fear inside of her. She touched his fingers of the broken hand that was wrapped tightly in a bandage, ready for a cast. "He's going to be all right isn't he?"

The doctor looked up from her electronic pad as she typed in his current condition. "He can't breathe on his own yet. We're going to send him up for an MRI so we can get a better look at the condition of his lungs. His back and arms have several third degree burns. We cleaned as much as we could for now and put some gel on them to protect them from infections and gave him some antibiotics. The plastic surgeon on call is on his way in. His wrist and four fingers," she showed which ones on her own hand, "are broken, but they're clean breaks. His hand is too swollen right now to put in a cast so we'll give it a day or two." She looked down at him in the bed, knowing just the minimal of the circumstances. "It looks to me like he tried to punch through something."

"A window," Michelle explained. "He broke the frame trying to get our daughter out."

She nodded her understanding, which made sense. "He's out of any immediate danger for the moment. We're listing him as critical and sending him up to ICU after the MRI. His vitals are all good, but his blood pressure and temp and temp are high, but that's normal in this situation. We've managed to cool him down but the burns on his back I believe are going to be the most challenging of all his injuries. They can take months to heal and he could require skin graphs. The Plastic Surgeon will go over that with you after he's had a chance to examine him." She moved out of the way as they lifted the brakes off the bed, preparing to move him. "We need to take him up now." she smiled at Ellen, "It's ok if you want to touch him before we go."

Michelle picked her up and leaned over as she reached her little hand out and put it on his forehead. "Hi Daddy," she whispered not wanting to wake him up if he was sleeping. "Does that thing in his mouth hurt?" she asked with a painful expression.

"No," Michelle replied. "It's helping him breathe better. It's making him feel better. Say goodbye to Daddy and we'll see him again after the doctor is all finished with him."

She smiled at him, "Bye Daddy. I'll bring you some candy and a picture of me and Elie that will make you feel better."

Michelle felt tears sting her eyes over the innocence of her daughter as she set her back down.

She leaned over and kissed Steve's forehead where Ellen's hand had been, speaking to him as if he could hear her as she looked at him. "I love you. I'll take care of everything. I'll find the man that did this to you and Elie. He won't get away with it, I promise you that."

She stepped back as they wheeled him out past Danny and Gracie as they both stared at the man in the bed that they too had a hard time believing was Steve.

Danny looked over at her as they met eyes, each one thinking the same thing. The man that did this had no idea what he was up against. He was going to pay severely for his actions. It was a bad decision coming to their island, but that decision turned to a deadly one. Neither one had any mercy for him, and would show none when they caught him.

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Chin labeled the VCR tape, pleased with himself that he'd found what they were looking for. Not only had the girls shown up in the liquor store but he got a clear picture of the guy with them and the car that was parked right out front that he was driving. This was a huge lead. Steve was going to be ecstatic he thought happily. He decided to run the tape over himself to the crime lab so they could pull some images off and enhance the quality, not wanting to bother Steve that night, knowing he was celebrating his anniversary.

He glanced at his watch and grinned. By the time of night he was pretty sure he'd be seriously interrupting something if he did call and besides that, he wasn't about to have a pregnant woman angry with him either.

Just as he came out of his office to deliver the tape his cell phone rang, glancing at the name, he was surprised to be hearing from Danny this late, hoping it wasn't another case.

"Hey, what's up?" he answered. "Were your ears burning because I was just about to text you? I got a lead for the case."

"Chin, something's happened," Danny replied.

He stopped in his tracks, feeling a chill run through him over the tone of his voice. "What's wrong?"

"It's Steve and Elie. I'm at the hospital. Their house caught on fire."

"Oh God." He felt the air leave his body as that chill wrapped around his heart at not only hearing Steve's name but Elie's as well.

"Their stable right now but in serious condition from smoke inhalation."

"Ellen and Michelle?" he asked.

"They're fine. Gracie was babysitting. They got home right after it started and Steve went in to get Elie out and they got trapped."

"Gracie?!" Chin asked. "Is she alright?"  
"She's fine. She got Ellen out but lost Elie in the chaos."

"Oh God," he moaned. "Michelle must be going out of her mind with worry."

"There's more Chin. Michelle knows who started the fire." He looked over at her as she leaned over and kissed Steve's forehead and spoke to his unconscious body.

"Who?" Chin asked.

"The tunnel rat from the compound."

It was the only description he needed to hear to know exactly whom he was speaking of. "Son of a bitch!" he growled. "He has the balls to come here and pull this shit," he said angrily, "and then thinks he's going to get away with it! He's going to burn!"

"My thoughts exactly. They were driving Steve's truck and she said they should have a good ID of him and the car he was driving from the dash cam. Can you pull that up? Michelle and I are on our way down. I'm going to call Kono and have her come here and stand guard at Elie's room just incase the asshole tries to come here. I'm also going to get a couple of uniforms to stand guard at Steve's door."

"I'll pull the video now. Michelle's coming with you?" he questioned.

"Don't ask and don't try and talk her out of it when we get there. I swear it's like talking to Steve. They're defiantly joined at the hip in more ways than one. I think they share the same brain. Hold on," he said as they wheeled Steve out of the room and past him. He got a good look at him for the first time and couldn't believe that was his partner and best friend lying on that bed. He made eye contact with Michelle and felt every bit of the anger and pain over their ordeal as she did. He put the phone back up to his ear. "I gotta go. We'll see you in a few."

"Ok. I'll get busy," Chin replied, forgoing the tape in his hand as he set it back on his desk, going out to the big computer to track down Steve's truck cam.

Michelle came out of the room and up to him just as he was hanging up.

"Chin's going to pull the video from Steve's truck. He should have it by the time we get there."

She nodded her understanding, feeling slightly numb and in shock over the events.

"I'm going to have Kono come up and be with Elie and station a couple of uniforms outside Steve's door just incase he tries to pull something here."

She nodded again feeling that guilt over leaving him and especially Elie in this situation but was more frightened over letting the man get away and perhaps a second chance to come at them. She wasn't going to let it happen. She looked at the two empty rooms where they had been and the mess left behind from the work that had been done. She felt tears sting her eyes as the reality of knowing they were both still in critical condition and had been so close to death hit her. The tears turned to sobs. She bent her head, putting her hands over her face as Danny moved in to comfort her.

"Hey," he said hugging her, "it's going to be ok. They're going to pull through this."

She felt Ellen wrap her arms around her leg and looked down, putting a hand on her back as she cried too, fearing the chaos that was around them.

"I want to see Elie," she demanded, fearing the separation from her twin that was a rare incident.

"We can't right now, but you will soon," Michelle told her.

"Come on," Gracie said, taking her hand. "I saw a TV with cartoons on in the waiting room. Let's go watch while we wait."

Ellen hesitated, looking up at her mother. Michelle could see the fatigue and weary all over her daughter, knowing it was probably the best solution for her at the moment. She was sure she'd be asleep in no time, which is what she needed. "It's ok, honey. Go with Gracie. Elie and Daddy are going to be just fine. Don't worry. Go on sweetie."

She let go and followed along with Gracie as they all made their way out to the waiting room while Danny called Kono.

Michelle watched as an orderly mopped up the path of water that had been dripping from Steve's gurney as they wheeled him in to the ER. She pictured him from earlier that night as they made love in the backseat of the pickup and heard his voice whispering to her, telling her of the love he had for her and how happy he was that she was his wife.

She lifted up her left hand and looked at her new ring. It was a replacement to the one that had been violently taken from her. The Beast thought he could come between them, but on the contrary, all he'd done was make their bond stronger.

Steve lay somewhere in that hospital now with Elie, both recovering from near death. She only had one life and it was built around her husband and children. She would do whatever necessary to protect her family, feeling an anger rise up in her that she'd only experienced one time before. It wrapped around her, playing out a moment in time that had changed the course of her life forever. She felt those same raw emotions as she did that night standing up on a hill in the darkness while gunfire rang out below. He needed her. Her adrenaline hit a new high as those words sank in, adding Ellen and Elie to the equation only solidified her determination to run down that hill again and wipe out the enemy that was threatening him.


	17. Chapter 17

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Nick yelled, hitting the steering wheel of his car with the palm of his hand as he flew down the street, glancing in his rear view mirror, assured they would be on his tail any second now.

He came around a sharp corner and darted down a street off the main road. He pulled in behind another car parked on the street and turned his lights off, waiting to see if they would drive by.

Surprisingly he saw nothing, but heard the fire trucks screaming up Diamond Head road toward the house.

He smiled cleverly, knowing he'd got away. They had gone to the house instead. "Probably saw that it was burning," he grinned.

He put the car in gear and continued on his way, pleased with himself, but that thrill didn't last long, realizing just because he got away now didn't mean he was home free. They saw him. She saw him clear as day.

There was going to be a manhunt for him. He had to get out of his apartment and get to the airport. But even that idea wasn't good enough; they'd have his picture everywhere. It was late, and chances of getting on a flight that night would be slim, that would leave him a sitting duck.

"Damn it!" he hit the steering wheel again; thinking of all the things that could have wrong, this was the worst-case scenario. He needed to hide. It was a big island he thought, lots of trails and places to escape.

That's what he'd do, he thought. Escape.

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Michelle sat next to Danny as he drove to the station. She'd changed into a pair of Kono's jeans, a black t-shirt and a pair of blue Nikes. She stared out the window, thinking about where he might be hiding or headed to next.

"We should check Dillingham too," she said, turning to Danny.

"Their flights are booked days in advance. They don't have anything commercial going out of there."

"He's going to try and get off the island, you know that. We should go to the airport now."

"And do what? Cover every exit, just the two of us. Once that picture goes viral they'll be no place for him to hide on this island."

"How do we know he's not already there waiting for a flight, or boarding one?"

"If he is then it's too late. He's already past security and the chances of us catching him are nil. You need to let Chin and I do our job. We've got experience at this if you haven't noticed. He's not going to torch your house and then run to the airport, especially if he knows he's been seen. He's going to hide and lay low, but one thing he doesn't realize is that it's a small island. He can't hide forever and once news gets out what happened to Steve and Elie, it's going to be an all out manhunt. We just need to follow the normal procedures for now and after that it'll be like the islands on lockdown."

He turned into the parking lot of the police station.

"We can't let him get away Danny."

He turned the engine off and looked over at her. "I know. I don't plan on it. I want that son of bitch six feet under as much as you do."

They walked into the Five 0 headquarters and were met by a very anxious Chin as he motioned to them.

"Danny, get over here," he said, standing over the computer table obviously rattled about something.

He and Michelle both jogged over to him.

"What do you got?"

"I was going over the video tapes in that double homicide and came across our victims at that liquor store."

"Chin," Danny said almost irritably. "Forget that case for now! We've got…"

"Listen!" he interrupted him. "I pulled the video cam on Steve's truck! The guy in the video from Steve's truck is the same guy in the video from the liquor store with our two victims."

"What?!" he and Michelle both said simultaneously.

"Look!" he pointed at the table and backed away as they both leaned over and looked at the two still pictures from each video.

"Oh my god," Michelle said. "It is him!" She looked over a t Danny. "That's him!"

"It's the same car too," Chin added. "I couldn't get a clear pic from Steve's camera but look at this one from the liquor store." He touched the picture, enlarged it and zoomed in. "It has a clear shot of the license plate. I called it in and sure enough it's a rental." He touched the table again and brought up an invoice from the rental company. "Nick O'Neil. His father is ex Military." He looked over at Michelle, "Steve called it. He knew the guy had military background but couldn't come up with a match when we ran the blood sample from Captain Benedict. He was never in the military, but he was a military brat. His dad's a general."

"Good work, Chin," Danny replied amazed. "How in the hell did you come up with all this in this short of time?"

Chin shrugged, "Once I got a name everything fell into place."

They heard the front doors open and all three looked over, seeing five men who were all native Hawaiians. They were both childhood and recent friends of Steve, leading the pack was Ben; the man that had delivered the motorcycle the day before.

"Ben?" Michelle said going toward him, "What are you doing here?"

"We all got a call from Pico who was on duty tonight, he was one of the fireman that went in and got Steve and Elie out of the house."

"Pico was there?" Michelle asked, stunned over that revelation, not recalling him being one of them, but then again her mind was elsewhere, unable to see anything beyond her husband and child's welfare.

"I called Chin and he filled me in on what's going on." He motioned to the men around him. "We want to help in the search. There's about another fifteen guys waiting by the phone for the call to help join in too." He looked at Chin as they all stood around him. "Did you get a trace on the rental cars GPS yet?"

"The rental car has a GPS?" Danny asked.

"Yes," Chin explained. "I was just getting to that before they walked in. I don't have a location yet. I'm waiting on the code from the rental car company. They got tired of tourists lying about going off-road on hikes and started putting in GPS's so they could bring up the car's specific locations. They're doing that now as we speak."

Ben came over and put a hand on Michelle's shoulder. "How are Steve and Elie?"

"They were stable but in serious condition when I left, both going for MRI's."

"You should be there," he said. "Let us handle this. I promise we won't let you down."

Michelle shook her head. "You don't understand the circumstances, Ben. This isn't some random act of violence against Steve and I. This is someone that is a threat to our life, to Elie and Ellen's too. We will never be safe until the threat has been eliminated. I'm not here just because I'm angry. I'm here for my husband because he can't be. This is where I belong at the moment."

Ben looked over at Danny and Chin for their reaction and both kept a straight, hard expression, having been apart of what this fugitive had done to her first hand. They both realized she might have been strong enough with the help of Steve to overcome the scars and abuse at the hands of him while captive at that compound, but this was a danger that she couldn't walk away from, and they both knew they would have her back just as loyally as if it were Steve standing there.

"What do you need from us?" Ben asked, not questioning her presence again. He knew of her skills, having heard stories from Steve as he proudly bragged of his wife's accomplishments.

"You being here means a lot. You know the island as well as anyone. If he tries to hide, I trust you and the others will smoke him out."

Ben nodded, looking over his shoulder at the other four men as they all agreed with greedy grins. They had roamed the island since they were able to crawl; it was their backyard playground.

"You just give us a location, we'll find him," he replied with the same hardened tone.

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Kono stood next to Elie's bed as they set her up in the Pediatric ICU. She took her hand and held it, staring at the barely recognizable little girl that had become more to her than just her bosses' daughter. She was family. It was breaking her heart seeing the damage that had been done. The machines that were hooked up to her made an eerie sound that she wished she could silence. The humming noise should have been the sound of Elie's voice that she'd heard so many times before as she sang songs from her favorite movies, as Kono would watch and listen to with amusement.

The little girl had a gift of wanting to make people happy all the time, whether it be from singing, hugging or the occasional gift that was thought out, not just randomly chosen. Kono thought of the bracelet she had made for her for her birthday a few weeks back. The colored beads were specifically chosen by the color of the swimsuit she had worn one day while Steve and the family were on the North Shore watching her surf for a charity event. Elie had been so amazed at her fearlessness in the water she had made the bracelet to replace the trophy that she thought she should have won, even though it was just for charity. Elie insisted she should have got one. Kono hung the bracelet up with her other Jr. Amateur trophies she had actually won when she was younger, displaying the piece of jewelry as if it were a prestigious award, cherishing it just as much as her others.

The nurse adjusted the oxygen tube that ran down her throat, taping it to the side of her mouth to keep it in place. Her other hand was also taped up, holding an IV in steady that fed her fluids.

"How is she?" Kono asked. "How did the MRI come out?"

"The doctor is having a specialist look them over now. There are some areas of concern that they want a second opinion on."

She nodded her understanding. "Do you know where they took her father?"

"He's on the next floor up. There's a Plastic Surgeon with him." She looked at her peculiarly. "Do you know where the mother went? She seems to have left the hospital."

"She'll be back. The fire was arson. She's working with the Police. She spoke to the doctor before she left and I've been given permission to act as guardian in her place."

Kono backed away from the bed seeing a uniformed officer approaching from the elevator as she went out to greet him.

"Who is with Commander McGarrett? You're supposed to be covering him," she ordered.

"He has two uniforms outside his room. We wanted to make sure we had both of them covered so after my shift ended me and several others have volunteered to come down. There will be round the clock watch on both Steve and his daughter's rooms until the threat has been disposed of."

Kono smiled over his generosity. "Mahalo. I'm going to go up and check on Steve. I'll be back in a couple of minutes," she said to him.

He gave her a simple nod and moved into a position where he could see the oncoming traffic from Elie's room.

* * *

Kono went in the direction the front desk nurse pointed, making her way down the quiet ICU corridor. It was just past one in the morning and most of the business that normally surrounded the hospital had settled for the night, but the area she was in generally had a somber tone to it anyway so the silence was of the norm.

She made a hand gesture in the form of a wave to the two officers down the way that she recognized. They acknowledged her with a slight head toss as they spoke quietly to one another.

She stopped outside of Steve's room and peered inside. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully on his side, hugging several pillows, but she knew he was heavily sedated and the pillows were props to keep him in a dormant position because of the burns on his back. The tube in his mouth from earlier was gone, replaced by new ones that entered through his nasal cavity down to his lungs. They were more flexible for his current position. His upper body was unclothed but his wounds were protected with a large clear bandage that she assumed held some kind of healing aid that laid over his back and down his right arm. The extent of the burns she knew was fierce but couldn't see the magnitude of them past the bandage.

His room was empty of hospital personnel for the moment as she stepped inside. The closer she moved toward the bed the more it became clear the magnitude of his injuries. His right hand was bound in white gauze with a splint, forming a temporary cast. The three fingers tips that were visible were swollen and the nails broken off. She knew he'd tried to punch through the bathroom window, picturing the girl's bathroom in his house and knowing it would have only served Elie. She wondered if he knew at the moment he entered that bathroom that there would be no way out for himself, only Elie. She didn't have to wonder for long, knowing him and knowing he wasn't thinking about himself at that second, but only of Elie. She was assured he knew exactly what he was doing.

She looked at his face not recognizing the strong, resilient leader that had not only become her friend but her mentor. His eyes were swollen and his face that same deep red color as Elie's. She knew that was from inhaling the toxic smoke, hoping and praying that it hadn't done permanent damage to either of them, but at the moment the way they both looked, she was fearing the worst.

She touched his other hand that had an IV coming out of the back of it with a line directly up to a bag pumping fluid into him. He didn't move but she held it anyway, letting him know that someone was there for him.

"Hey Boss," she said leaning over to his face. "You just relax and take it easy. I know that's hard for you to do, but I'm giving the orders now. I'm going to go check on Elie now but I'll be back." She gently squeezed his hand, feeling tears fill her eyes, not able to comprehend how all of their lives would change if he weren't a part of it any longer. It would be the same as losing Chin to her.

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Nick parked his car on the street and got out, grabbing his backpack. He glanced around at the dark houses that were at the base of the trail that led up into the Ko'olau Mountains. He had heard of the forbidden stairs that led up into the mountains, knowing it would be the perfect place to escape. There were several cars parked around him so he believed it would be a relatively good spot to leave it until he felt he could come back. If it was towed, then so be it, that would only help his cause, keeping it out of sight.

He flipped the backpack over his shoulders and turned the flashlight on, seeing the trail signs up ahead. He picked up a slight jog and began the climb up the steep trail that led to the stairs.

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Michelle got out of the Camaro just as Chin was pulling up behind her. She pointed at the white Chrysler convertible, "There it is! That's the car!"

"He's headed up Ko'olau Range," Chin announced, using his phone to text Ben and the others their location.

She joined Danny as he opened the trunk handing her Steve's vest with his name patch on it. "Here, Commander McGarrett."

She ignored the joke, slipping it on, too preoccupied with the remaining contents of the trunk, deciding on her weapon of choice. She reached inside and took out one of Steve's 45 caliber automatic handguns from the case.

Danny looked over at her as she cocked it back, checking the chamber and the clip to make sure it was loaded. He was a little taken back at first, but she moved like Steve and imitated his choices as she then reached back in and took out the five inch KaBar knife that Steve kept in there. Danny never touched it and Steve only used it when they were going to be away from the car, for instance if they had to hike after a suspect. She slid it behind her back into the spot that was custom made on his vest just for that knife. None of the others had it. Danny wondered then if it mirrored a Seal vest, finding it interesting that she knew the exact spot for it.

She zipped up the vest and loosened the straps around the shoulder, pulling it down to cover her lower stomach to protect the baby she was carrying.

"How far ahead do you think he is?" Michelle asked.

"Cars still warm," Chin replied as he joined them.

"Call for a chopper," Danny said, "we'll catch him in less than half an hour."

"No!" Michelle said adamantly. "Don't call it in. I want him."

The two men looked at each other stunned over her reply.

"Michelle…" Chin began, trying to reason with her when Danny of all people came to her aid.

"Hold on Chin." He looked back over at her, still seeing the remains of the scars on her cheek from the beatings she had endured at the hands of the fugitive they were chasing. He recalled the sight of her in the back of the SUV as Steve held her bruised and abused body, crying softly for his wife both out of relief and fear over her condition. He thought of the conversations he and Steve had after her return and the struggles they endured as husband and wife, but overcame because they were both strong in mind and family. But it was the events of earlier that night that made him support her decision. He had almost become a victim himself, thinking again of Gracie and how easily his night could have turned out to be a nightmare. He was madder than hell, but couldn't imagine the feelings of rage she must be dealing with. She'd been helpless in both situations against this man, but now she was gaining the upper hand and he couldn't take that away from her. She deserved retribution more than anyone he'd ever known and he'd let her have it.

"Ok," he agreed with her, glancing back over at Chin as he placed his gun in his holster. "We go it alone."

Chin shrugged, needing no more persuading. He could almost read Danny's thoughts, having been in the SUV with them as they escaped the compound. "Lead the way."

"First things first," Danny said turning to Michelle with his right hand up. "Raise your right hand and repeat after me. I, Michelle McGarrett…"

She knew he was deputizing her, seeing it done before. She did as she was told. "I Michelle McGarrett," she repeated.

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Kono came out of the elevator and down through the waiting area, checking on Ellen and Gracie. They both were sound asleep huddled together on the sofa in front of the TV that was tuned to Nickelodeon.

"Any problems here, Jackie?" she asked the woman officer who sat in the adjacent chair, doing paperwork.

"Nope," she replied quietly. "They fell asleep about five minutes after you left." She held up the IPad, "It's given me some time to catch up on some reports."

"We appreciate you being here."

"Anytime, you know that. Any word on Steve and Elie's condition?"

She sighed, shaking her head. "I just saw Steve. He's has third degree burns on his back and a really bad broken hand. He has a breathing tube and so does Elie. I was just going back to her room now but wanted to check and make sure the kids were doing ok."

Jackie shooed her away. "Go on. I've got this covered. You need to be with them. Any update of the guy that did it?"

Kono shook her head. "No, not yet. Chin will call me when he has something. I'll let you know."

She walked back over to the elevator and took it up to the third floor where Elie was. She pulled down on the back of her neck with her hand as she pushed her head back, trying to loosen up the tight muscles from the long night. The doors opened and she exited to the right, seeing the Pediatric ICU right in front of her. The wing was separated by two swinging doors marked 'in' and 'out', as she came through the 'in' door she sensed right away an urgency on the floor as two nurses came out of a room pushing a cart and another one carrying two bags of blood.

She watched as they hurried down the hallway.

She froze in her tracks and felt her heart skip as they entered Elie's room.

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Michelle led the way up the dark trail with Danny and Chin on either side of her just a step back. She kept the flashlight beam facing down and hidden behind her hand, incase they were catching up with him. They kept their voices at a minimal too.

"This trail goes up to Stairway to Heaven," Chin said.

"Stairway to Heaven?" Danny asked bewildered over the name.

"Yea, you know," he explained, "the staircase that leads a path up to the top of Ko'olau. It was built back in the 50's by the Coast Guard to reach the radio tower. It's against the law to climb, but people do it all the time. There's a guard at the base that shows up everyday at around four in the morning to ward people off."

Danny stopped, looking forward in the dark. "That's up here?"

Chin nodded just as his cell phone vibrated in his pocket. "About another quarter mile. If he's trying for the climb, then we'll see his light."

"Steve and I climbed that when I first moved here," Michelle said. "If that's where he's going there's no where to go but up. We'll catch him."

"What?" Chin said into the phone. "Are you sure? How far out are you?"

"What is it?" Danny asked.

Chin held his hand up, motioning for him to wait as he continued the conversation. "Ok, yes. Got it! Right, ok, were headed that way." He slid his pone back in his pocket. "That was Ben, he's with a couple of other guys. They're on the other side of the range and spotted a light going up the first staircase."

"That's got to be him," Michelle exclaimed picking up her pace to a slight jog. She knew of the treacherous steps that were dangerous and risky in the daytime, let alone going at it at night with just a flashlight. She and Steve had begun in the dark but by the time they had reached the most strenuous parts, the sunrise had already peeked. She recalled standing on the top rim of one of the ranges and watching it with him. It was one of the most picturesque sights she'd ever seen, thinking back how lucky she was at that moment standing in what she considered the most beautiful spot on earth, with the most incredible man on earth, who had his arms around her, watching it with her. It was her motivation now, not fearing what lied ahead of her.

Danny and Chin both followed behind her, struggling to keep up.

Nick stopped and leaned against the metal railing, bending his head, trying to catch his breath. He had heard of this place and knew it would be the perfect place to lay low for a while but hadn't anticipated the climb. It was more strenuous than he had imagined, assuming he was in better shape. He blamed it on the backpack he was carrying, the extra weight was slowing him down, but he needed everything that was in there to survive wherever he ended up for the next couple of weeks until things died down.

He looked up seeing the outline of the stairs in the half moon. He needed to be careful, glancing over the side and seeing complete darkness, not sure how far down it was, but knew it could be deadly.

He caught a glimpse of something below and squinted his eyes. He saw the flash of light again and gripped the metal railing. "Shit!" he grumbled. "That can't be for me," he whispered to himself. "It has to be some stupid kids climbing up here. They couldn't have tracked me already?"

He took in a deep breath and started climbing again, wanting to keep a good distance between them.

Michelle took every step as if it were her first. She caught a glimpse of the light they had mentioned before and knew it was the prey she was seeking. It had to be him. She felt her adrenaline pumping as Danny and Chin tried to keep up with her.

"Hey!" Danny whispered loudly to her. "Slow it down."

"These stairs are dangerous," Chin added. "You could easily slip over the side."

She ignored both of them, moving her eyes from the path to the light ahead and back again. She had no intention of slowing down and letting him get away. She wasn't sure of her objective when she caught him, but had absolutely no qualm about killing him either. She wouldn't even hesitate if need be. He meant nothing more to her than the Taliban that had moved in on Steve that night on the hill. She shot them one by one without so much as a quiver of guilt. It was them or Steve. She held the same mindset now.

Nick stopped again and looked back, seeing the lights coming at him, getting closer. They were moving faster than he was. He turned back around and looked up to where he was headed. It was already dangerous enough, moving faster would only increase his chances of slipping and falling, cursing himself for taking this path now, but it was the most isolated area on the island, or so he thought.

He continued on, working his way up the set of rickety staircase when he came to a leveled out area. It was about thirty feet across and had two large cement foundations in the ground where some small building had once stood.

He bent over bracing his hands on his knees and took in a couple of deep breathes before he looked back over the area he had just come from, seeing them about two hundred yards below him.

"Shit!" he growled, still convinced it was just random hikers. He figured this would be the best place to stop and let them get ahead of him, maybe climb back down again and find a new place to hide, cursing himself again for choosing this path.

He turned his flashlight off and moved over to the far end of the fenced off area, climbing over it and hiding in some deep brush along the side of the steep hill, keeping a good hold of the fence, knowing if he took a step back even a few feet that it was possibly a three to four hundred foot drop. He'd just wait them out. He had his knife in his backpack wishing now he had a gun.

Michelle used her legs to make her way up the steep incline, only holding onto the railing for guidance. She looked over her shoulder and saw Danny and Chin about a two hundred feet behind her. She started to pause for them when she glanced back up at the light she was following, not seeing it. She moved her body to both sides of the railings trying to get a visual but it had vanished. She grabbed the handrail this time and began to run up, ignoring the pain in her legs from the strenuous activity. She wasn't going to let him get away.

"Damn it Michelle!" Danny growled as he tried to keep up with her, wiping his hand across his sweaty brow. He was already exhausted and trying to keep up with her at this pace was just making the chase more difficult, wishing now he had called it in, but they were well out of cell phone or radio range.

Chin moved ahead of him picking up his pace. "I'll catch her and tell her to slow down."

Danny gladly moved out of the way for him. "Tell her I'm going to shoot her if she doesn't," he replied irritably. He looked up past Chin, noticing too the light that had disappeared.

Michelle took the last step and came up to the level area, remembering this place. It was where she and Steve had stopped to watch the sunrise.

Nick stared at her in the faint light of the moon, shaking his head in disbelief. ' _It couldn't be her,_ ' he thought, stunned over what he was assured was his imagination, and then he heard her name.

"Michelle," Chin yelled up to her.

She looked over the edge as he made his way up about a hundred feet behind her. "I'm right here, Chin," she said to him. She watched as he paused, looking up at her, clearly winded. She was surprised that she still felt like she could run a marathon.

She looked around the area she was in, keeping her hand on the handle of the gun that was strapped to her chest. He couldn't be too far away, she thought, trying to estimate where she had first noticed the light vanish. ' _Maybe he fell over the side,'_ she thought amusingly.

She walked over to the edge where the other set of stairs began that lead up to the next ridge. She used her flashlight to scope out the condition of them, hoping to see some evidence of him as well.

"Michelle!" Chin yelled out in a frantic voice.

She turned and was met by a hard blow across her face as she fell back into the stairs, reaching for her gun.

Nick grabbed her hand, twisting her wrist back and reached over with his other, taking the gun off her vest. He pointed it at her head as he pulled her around in front of him, using her as a shield while Chin walked toward him holding his out in front of him.

"Let her go!"

"Back off!" Nick replied, holding the weapon at her temple. He dragged her toward the edge of the stairs that had no barrier. The drop was sheer and long. "Don't come any closer or I'll shoot her! If you shoot me, we'll both go over. Now back off!" Nick yelled.

Danny came up the last step onto the scene with his gun drawn as well.

Nick took his focus from Chin and moved it to Danny. "Don't move!" he yelled. "Put down your guns! Now!"

Neither one moved as Michelle held still, looking at both of them, "Shoot him," she said breathless. "Shoot this son of a bitch!"

"Shut up!" he said, pushing the barrel of the gun harder against her temple, tightening his hold around her neck. "I'll do it!" he said to them. "I've got nothing to lose. I'm not going to prison!"

"There's nowhere to go!" Danny said to him, making his way around Chin, hoping to distract him. "You don't really want to die."

Michelle slowly moved her hand up her side, trying to reach for the knife on her back, but her body was pressed too tightly up against his. "Danny's right," she said to him. "There's nowhere to go. You'll never get away."

He smiled as he backed up with her. "That's why I'm taking some insurance with me. You. Just like old times, huh Michelle." He looked over his shoulder as he moved up against the first step, putting a foot on it. "Turn around and start heading back down," he said to Chin and Danny. "Do it now, or this thing is going to end on the count of three with a bullet in her head. Don't think for a second that I won't do it."

Danny couldn't take the chance, knowing the guys background. They had him backed up into a corner, which made the situation so much more unpredictable. They couldn't get a clean shot and even if they did, there was still the chance that she might go over the edge.

"One! Two!" he counted.

"Alright!" Danny said, holding his gun up as he backed away. "Come on Chin."

He kept his gun pointed at him, but backed up with Danny. "You hurt her and I'll hunt you down and put a bullet in your head."

"Keep going," Nick said as they both reached the top step of the stairs that led down the ridge. He waited until they were out of sight before he took the first step up, taking her with him. "Come on!" he said, keeping a tight hold on her neck and watching the other stairs, not wanting to turn his back on Danny and Chin.

"Where do you think you're going to take me?" she said. "You'll never get off this island." She couldn't fight against this strength, as he dragged her up the incline, step by step.

"Didn't you miss me," he chuckled sinisterly. "I almost didn't recognize you with you with clothes on." He pulled tighter as she gripped the railing on either side, trying to keep some kind of balance. "I see you have a new ring. I keep your old one around my neck on a chain. I'll show you later. I keep it there to remind me…" he grunted as the next step proved to be higher than the last, lifting her up. "It reminds me of our special time together. Maybe tonight we can relive some of those memories."

He stumbled on the step and she tightened her grip on railing.

"We're going to fall! You're going to kill us both trying to make it up theses stairs like this!"

He stopped, not seeing Danny or Chin, believing they took his threat seriously and stayed back. He loosened his arm from around her neck, grabbing a chunk of her short hair with his fingers, whipping her head around so he could see her. Her body twisted with it as he pulled her head back, looking down at her from the step above. "After I'm done with you tonight, you're going to wish we had fallen."

She looked up into his dark eyes that brought back the memories of pain and fear she had from the last time she was in his grasp. "You shouldn't have come here," she said, staring up at him. "You shouldn't have tried to hurt my family. For that I'm going to kill you."

He smiled at her. "Always the fight…" He froze mid sentence as his eyes grew wide with shock and disbelief.

Michelle pushed the five-inch blade further into the side of his neck as she kept her eyes on his.

He reached up for the knife as he let go of her and the gun, falling back against the stairs, his mouth open as he gasped for air, fumbling with the blade but too stunned and crippled by the injury to do anything but gasp for a breath.

She saw the chain around his neck and pulled up on it. Her ring appeared from inside his shirt and she yanked the necklace, breaking it. She slid the ring off the chain, showing it to him. "This belongs to me. You shouldn't have come here. You shouldn't have tried to hurt my family."

She noticed his eyes were focused straight ahead but not looking at anything. He was dead.

She finally felt justified for everything he had put her through.

She stepped back away from him, slipping her ring into her pocket, staring at him as tears filled her eyes. The nightmare was finally over. He couldn't hurt them ever again. She didn't have to wake up in the middle of the night and fear a sound that would make her imagination run wild. She didn't have to look over her shoulder anymore. She and Steve and the girls could go back to their life, to their perfect life. She broke down and started to cry, making her way back down and away from him. She just wanted to get to the hospital now and be with the people she had fought for. She needed to be close to them.

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Kono sat staring at the floor. Her mind cluttered over the events of the last hour. She was in a daze as her body trembled, not hearing the words of the people around her. All she could do was recite Elie's name over and over as if somehow the Akua's would hear her and perform a miracle.

She looked up into the room where she was, hoping she'd sit up in bed and smile that beautiful little smile that touched so many lives.

Her eyes filled with tears, knowing it wasn't going to happen. The nightmare retuned as the reality set in again of how she would ever face Michelle and Steve.

That dreadful thought was still sitting in her head as she focused on the person walking toward her.

She felt her heart begin to race, feeling sick to her stomach, telling herself to be strong as she tried to stand and face her, but she had to brace a hand on the chair next to her just to get up. Her legs felt weak and she reached out for the wall to steady herself as Michelle came closer.

She couldn't do it. No words came to her. No word at all, only tears that flooded her eyes as she pictured Elie in the room across the way with a sheet over her lifeless body.

Her emotional state told the horrific story that she couldn't explain in words.


	18. Chapter 18

Michelle sat next to Steve's bed holding a towel in her hand that she used to wipe the constant tears from her eyes. They were endless, the same as her grief over the loss of her daughter. The shock of it had calmed, leaving her with a horrifying sadness that was both mentally and physically crippling. The last twenty-four hours had been like a nightmare, wondering how she had even made it through, wondering again how she would ever make it through the next, or the next without Elie.

Tears flowed again as she used the towel to wipe them away, sobbing quietly as she looked at him.

"Wake up," she whispered to him. "I need you." She started to cry harder, laying her head down on the bed next his hand. She wanted him to wake up, needing his comfort, but in the same thought she didn't want him to wake up, not knowing how she would ever tell him.

She cried harder over that thought that had been torturing her. She had to be the one to tell him, but didn't know how. She loved him beyond words and just the thought of him feeling what she was made her suffering all the more painful. But of all the people in the world, it was him that she needed to lean on more than anyone else. It was a double-edged sword.

She felt a hand on her back and looked over her shoulder seeing Danny. His eyes showed the same sorrow and redness from the relentless tears that could have filled a river by now.

"What can I get you?" he asked, his voice shuttering, feeling himself falling into that dreadful abyss again over the sadness that showed all over her face. He reached up with his fingers and wiped them over his eyes as he began to cry again.

Michelle leaned back against his stomach as he put his hands on her, gently stroking them over her shoulders and hair, trying to comfort her but knowing it was a lost cause. He was completely and utterly torn apart inside, but even so, he couldn't even comprehend what she was feeling. Tears slid down his face as he brushed his cheek on his shoulder, wiping them on his shirt.

He looked down at Steve as he lay sleeping in a drug-induced state, still unaware of the devastating news, almost hoping that he never woke up. He was still innocent of the changes around him that were going to be life altering. His family was everything to him.

Michelle wiped her face on the towel, focusing back on her sleeping husband. "He looks so peaceful," she sniffed, moving her hand gently across his forehead. "What am," she paused as another wave of anguish struck her. "What am I going to tell him, Danny?" She barely got the words out as she bent her head and began to cry again. "Oh Elie," she sobbed, "my poor baby. I should have…" she gasped between sobs, "I should have been here. I should have…"

He rubbed his hand over her back again, "This wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known this was going to happen."

"I'm her mother," she whimpered. "I should have been here with her."

"Don't do that," he said firmly. "Don't do that to yourself. You can't…"

They both looked at Steve as he moaned. His eyes lids fluttered as Michelle put her hand over her mouth, seeing him slowly wake up. She was frightened over what she had to do, not prepared for it in the least, knowing she never would be.

He felt the presence of someone next to him, knowing it was Michelle. He tried to open his eyes to see her, but couldn't, too weak to fight the swelling that was still surrounding them. He tried to move his hand but that too proved to be too much of an effort. He opened his mouth to speak but the dryness in his throat from inhaling the smoke made his voice raspy. "Michelle?" he said barely audible.

"I'm here," she said to him, biting her bottom lip, trying not to break down. "I'm right here." She gently squeezed his hand.

He whimpered softly, feeling comforted by that, knowing he was in bad shape. "Elie?" he murmured, needing to know she was all right.

Michelle looked over her shoulder at the devastating expression on Danny's face. He stared back at her, shaking his head as if telling her he didn't know what she should say.

She looked back at her husband, glad that he couldn't see the grief all over them. "She's safe now," she said to him, covering her mouth again, trying to stifle the sobs that were overtaking her as her hand shook.

A smile slowly curved on the corner of his mouth, pleased with her answer, but wanted to know of the threat. "Did Danny…catch him?"

She took a second and then put her hand on his forehead, "We don't have to worry about that anymore, ever."

The tone of her voice told him what he needed to hear, understanding the nature of it. He was dead. He slowly nodded his head, telling her he understood, feeling a sense of peace over that. "We're all ok," he mumbled, letting her know that included him.

His smile only lasted seconds as another dose of medication made its way through his IV as he drifted back into a peaceful rest.

She felt the grasp on her hand loosen, knowing he'd gone back to sleep.

"I couldn't do it," she began to cry. "I just couldn't say it. I can't tell him. Oh god Danny, what am I going to do?" She laid her head back on the bed next to him. "I'm so sorry," she whimpered. "I can't… I just can't." Once again the pain in her heart was expressed through her tears.

"You did the right thing," he said to her. "This wasn't the time." He pulled a chair up next to her and just sat with her as she rested her head next to her husband, crying softly until she too drifted off to sleep.

The past twenty-four hours had been like a walking nightmare. The shock over Elie's death was the worst thing he'd ever experienced. Michelle was overwrought with grief, barely able to stand after hearing the news. He caught her just before she collapsed, holding her tightly as she screamed out her daughter's name over and over. The sound of her agonizing pain still sent shivers down his spine. It was a sound he never wanted to hear again.

He tried to comfort her and at the same time he was dealing with his own shock and horror over it. He never would have believed it if it wasn't for the state of Kono. Her emotional appearance on the outside mirrored what he was feeling on the inside, until it came full circle and he too began to cry for the little girl and friend he had lost.

After what seemed like hours, he managed to get Michelle to an empty patient room that the nurse had led them too. He explained the pregnancy, worried about the baby she was carrying and the condition she was now in. He lifted her up on the bed and laid her down as she clung to his arm, sobbing uncontrollably mumbling Elie's name. He stayed with her throughout the night, holding her when need be and just holding her hand the rest of the time.

He spoke to Elie's doctor being told her lungs had filled with fluid. They had tried to drain them but the damage was too severe. She went into cardiac arrest and they went as far as cracking her chest, he explained, and used internal panels trying to get her heart started again, but in the end they had exhausted all their abilities and after an hour they finally called the time of death.

He saw the strain on the doctor, thanking him for doing all he could. He signed the paperwork and called Max, asking that he come and take care of her until Steve and Michelle could make the final decisions of her burial. He had to fight the hospital administration over having her sent to the HPD criminal lab coroner, but to Danny it was a place where she wouldn't be just a name or a number, Max would take good care of her. The thought of her in one of those cold storage boxes with strangers was more than he could stand.

He took a blanket that was folded up at the bottom of Steve's bed and carefully laid it over Michelle's shoulders. He was glad she had fallen asleep, hoping she had a peaceful rest because once she woke up again, that's when her nightmares would occur.

He stood back looking at the two of them side by side. He couldn't help but feel envious of their relationship, everyone was, but not in a negative way. They admired it as much as he did.

It was amazing to him the story that brought them together. It was like a true-life fairy tale that almost sounded made up. He wouldn't have believed it himself if he didn't know the facts to be true.

It wasn't fair, he thought. They'd paid their dues but the devil was still collecting beyond the grave. He began to get angry but the worst part was there was no one to be angry at. He wished that fucker were still alive; he'd torture him beyond recognition. He fought off the feelings of revenge, knowing they were just wasted emotions that could go nowhere and would only use up the energy he needed to store away for Steve and Michelle's sake. Neither had immediate family on the island. He was their family. It was up to him to make decisions for them that they couldn't at the moment. The first was Elie's body; the second was getting the rental house cleared out so they would have a place to live when Steve was released. They had nothing but the clothes on their backs. Chin and Kono had begun the arrangements with friends as the offers began to pour in after the news of the fire and even more so after hearing of Elie's death.

He was assured the Ohana spirit that he'd rolled his eyes at after first moving to Hawaii would come into full play now. He was counting on it.

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Danny set down a tray in front of Michelle and took the seat across from her in the hospital cafeteria. She sat motionless, staring mindlessly at the food as he reached over and opened up the small container of yogurt, lifting the spoon up and holding it out to her.

"You have to eat something."

When she didn't respond he dipped the spoon in the yogurt and held it out to her lips. "Open up."

"I'm not hungry."

He sighed not wanting to be harsh with her, but knew she hadn't eaten anything since being at the hospital. "Your baby's hungry, so eat something."

She looked up at him over the tone of his voice and the words that she knew were for her benefit, but they still stung. In all the chaos and mess she had neglected to think about the baby inside of her, too obsessed and depressed over the one she had lost.

He pushed the spoon closer to her as she opened her mouth, taking in the creamy mixture. He dipped it back in the container and took another one as she reached over and took the spoon from him. She wasn't hungry, even after taking that first bite but knew she had to eat, just like he said.

As she finished the yogurt he peeled the banana next, cutting it into pieces the same as he used to do with Gracie when she was a baby. He handed Michelle a fork this time, instructing her to eat the fruit, which she did.

They sat in silence; both of them still in shock over the events that were taking place in their lives. He watched her somberly pick up each piece of banana and eat it as if it were a chore. He picked up a paper napkin from the tray and wiped away a fresh tear that spilled out of her left eye.

"I talked to Chin this morning," he said to her. "Your old house is ready for you whenever you want to go there. He said that food and supplies have been pouring in."

Michelle looked up at him, "Ellen?"

"She's with Kono. Your Mom is on a flight here as we speak." He watched as fresh tears welled in eyes over her next question.

"Elie," she asked softly, "where is Elie?"

"I called Max. She's with him."

She felt a sense of relief over that as she nodded. "Ok." Her head felt cluttered with thoughts that she knew she had to deal with but kept pushing them away, not wanting to. She felt Danny's hand as he placed it over hers.

"We need to talk about what you want to do with Elie."

She pulled her hand away and bent her head, shaking it 'no'. "I can't," she whimpered, "not yet. Not without Steve." She put her hand up to her lips, feeling another wave of sadness overcome her. "I have to discuss it…" she started to cry. "I can't make that decision alone, Danny. Please don't ask me too."

"Ok," he quickly replied, moving over to the seat next to her as he put an arm over her shoulder. "It can wait for now." He hoped that when Clair got there that she could be the one to help in the decision process, feeling too much pressure of what to do, and what not to do with Elie's body.

"I'm sorry," Michelle gasped, "I don't know what to do." She looked up at him as new tears streamed down her face. "What do you think Steve would want?"

Danny shook his head. "I can't make that decision for him, Michelle. That's something that you and Steve need to decide. It should come from family."

"You're family," she replied.

"You need to tell him. The next time he wakes up. You need to tell him. He deserves to know Michelle."

She knew he was right, it was the other dreadful thing that she kept trying to void from her thoughts, still not sure how she would do it, but it had to be done. She nodded her response that she understood, pushing her chair back away from the table. She needed Steve, knowing that it would be the other way around in the beginning, he would need to lean on her and she needed to be the strong one, but once the shock settled they would bond together and make the decisions that had to be made, together. She felt sick to her stomach again praying that the words would come to her and she'd find that strength that he would need in those first few hours after hearing of Elie's death. She needed to be there for him. She knew if the tables were turned he'd find the strength for her.

"I'm going to go back to his room," she said to Danny. "Will you go and check on Ellen."

Danny stood up with her. "Yes." He moved toward her, putting his arms around her and hugging her. He wanted to say something that would help her through this but didn't know what he could possibly say that would levitate the suffering she was feeling nor the anguish she was about to endure having to tell her husband that their daughter was dead.

She rested her head on his shoulder, thankful for him being there. She wasn't sure how she would have coped on her own, knowing it would have been nearly impossible. "Thank you, Danny," she whispered to him.

He squeezed her tighter, not wishing this horror on anyone, feeling himself getting choked up again over what she still had to do. "I'll be back later. You call me if you need me sooner."

She pulled away first, looking at him and nodded before she turned and walked slowly toward the elevators that would lead her up to Steve's room.

Danny sat back down in the chair, feeling all of his strength just vanish. He thought of Gracie then and having to go through what Steve was about to. It scared him beyond words. He stared down at the tray of half eaten food as the image began to blur, tearful for his best friend that had no idea the horror that was about to be bestowed upon him, and the worst part was, being his best friend, he had no way of easing his pain. It was coming and all he could do was just sit and cry for him.

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Michelle walked down the hallway toward his room when she heard her name being called.

She looked at the older nurse and the young woman at her side as they both approached her.

The older woman spoke for the both of them as the younger one stood there with a completely mortified expression on her face.

"Mrs. McGarrett. I need to speak to you before you go in and see your husband."

"I'm so, so, sorry," the young girl said teetering on the brink of tears.

"Megan!" the older nurse scolded her as the young girl cowered over the authority in her voice.

Michelle felt a wave of fear wash over her, fearing the worst. "Oh my god," she shuttered, 'Steve…is he alright?"

The older one reached out, taking her hand, assuring her that he was. "Yes. He's awake, but…" she paused, glaring over at the young woman. "I'm afraid there has been a horrible lack of judgment from Megan. She is a student nurse and has yet to understand the grave nature of her responsibilities."

Michelle looked at the young woman as she bent her head as if ashamed. "What happened?"

The older nurse took a deep breath before revealing the bad news. "She was in with your husband, checking his vitals when he woke up. It was my fault for sending her in there alone, but I never thought…"

"What happened?" Michelle asked again.

She swallowed hard before she spoke. "Maggie gave her condolences to your husband on the death of his daughter."

Michelle gasped, glancing at the young girl as she lifted her head. She saw it all over her face, the regret of her actions. She felt the air leave her body. "Steve knows?"

"I didn't say anything else," she cried, practically hyperventilating. "I didn't know what to say. The look on his face…" she shook her head still mortified over the event. "I knew then that he didn't know yet, so I just left the room." She covered her face with her hands. "I didn't know what to do. I'm so sorry."

"No! Oh god no!" Michelle pushed past them, running to Steve's room.

She came inside seeing him trying to sit up on the side of the bed. He looked up at her with the most distraught expression she'd ever seen. Even with the swelling still around his eyes she could see the fear in them.

"Michelle," he cried out for her, his voice raspy from his injuries, panting over his attempt to get up, even though the effort went beyond the scope of abilities at the moment. "Where's Elie! I want to see her!" his voice shuttered, searching his wife's face for some sort of clarification on why that girl would say such a horrible thing to him.

She froze, staring at him as her eyes began filing up with tears, hearing that fear in his voice.

"Where is she? She's ok, right?" his voice pleading with her to tell him yes.

She loved him and knew this was the moment that she'd been dreading, but it was also the moment that she needed to be strong, for him.

"She's…" She bit down hard on her bottom lip, trying desperately to tell him. "She didn't," she bent her head, "oh Steve." She closed her eyes as they flooded with tears. "Our baby girl…" she couldn't get the words out but didn't have to go any further.

At that second he knew. He saw the devastation all over her. He could read the signs that she'd been dealing with something horrifying. She looked every bit of what he would imagine she would if it were true about Elie. He felt sick inside. It was a horrible gut wrenching pain that made him dizzy with fear and grief.

She began to shake, trying to find something to say to him, feeling her heart breaking as she watched him slowly enter her nightmare.

He felt disorientated as his mind wrapped around the horrifying idea that his little Elie was gone forever. He whimpered painfully as the reality began to creep up on him, losing what strength he had left as he collapsed back onto the bed, reaching out for his wife, "Oh god, Michelle," he moaned, feeling the loss that was too horrible to even imagine, "not Elie!" he cried not wanting to believe it. "Not my little girl! Not my…" he was cut off by his own emotions of grief and sadness as they took over, leaving him crushed under the weight of this devastating news.

The sound of his voice was more than she could take, hearing the same agonizing plea that she went through, begging for someone to tell him it wasn't true, but all she could do was just comfort him the best she could as he began to cry harder for his daughter.

He felt weak as it surrounded him, crushing down on his heart like a hammer. He felt his wife's hands on him as he struggled to push himself up, needing to be close to her. She bent over him, cupping the back of his head as he reached up with his good hand and grasped a handful of her shirt, pulling her in closer as he sobbed mournfully for his precious Elie.

Hearing his grief just made her feel it all over again from the beginning. His pain was so real and so profound that it carried over to her, physically hurting her on the inside. He clung to her, burying his face in her neck as she held him, laying him back down on the bed fearing his injuries and the tube that was going into his lungs. He was so distraught she didn't even think he would realize if he were hurting himself.

"Steve," she whimpered, leaning back, needing to see him to make sure he was still ok. She wiped her own eyes clear before moving her hand over his cheek, feeling the wetness that poured over it. The sorrow that showed on his face made her ache for him, for the both of them.

He focused on her the best he could through his anguish, still clinging to her shirt. He was afraid to let her go, afraid to be alone at that moment even for a second. "Don't let go," he whimpered softly, pulling on her as his grasp tightened, feeling another wave of pain wash over him as an image of Elie flashed before his eyes. He felt helpless against it as the tears erupted again, moaning softly through the pain of it.

"I won't. I'm here," she cried, sensing his fear that she could relate too; the fear of living without their baby girl that had made their lives so perfect and so happy. She stroked her hand over his hair as he trembled. "I won't leave you. We'll get through this." She bent her head down on his not having the slightest idea how they would. The idea of it at that moment seemed impossible to her.


	19. Chapter 20

Steve lay perfectly still, looking at his wife across the way as she slept curled up on the small sofa in his room. The nurse peeled off the bandage on his back as carefully as she could, not wanting to cause him any more pain. She knew of their loss and of the young interns gross error in judgment. She felt for the young girl, knowing she would probably be discharged for the mistake.

She stopped halfway down, seeing some of his dead skin gripping the bandage. "Steve," she said to him. "Are you sure you don't want something for the pain? I've been authorized to give you a shot to ease some of the discomfort."

"I'm fine," he replied through gritted teeth, wanting to feel it. It actually helped alleviate the other pain he was dealing with that hurt so much more.

Michelle stirred on the couch, opening her eyes and seeing the nurse. Her eyes deflected to her husband's as he stared at her. She felt the impact of it hit her hard, seeing the pain on his face, but knowing too it wasn't all from his injuries.

She came off the couch and went to him as he moved his hand between the bars, needing her touch. As soon as he had it he felt the relief that took place of the pain medication, closing his eyes and letting it comfort him. He felt her hand tenderly move over his face and through his hair as her lips touched his forehead.

Tears dripped from his closed eyes as he saw Elie running toward him down the hallway after he'd come home from work. The joy he felt in those moments could never be matched, it saddened him that he'd never experience that joy again, not without thinking of her and missing her.

She felt his body jerk as he squeeze her hand, moving from the pain of Elie to the bandage being replaced over his injuries.

"Can you get him something for the pain," she asked the nurse.

"I'm fine," he spoke up.

"I tried," the nurse responded.

"If you're in pain, Steve…"

He squeezed her hand, "I'm fine."

She looked up at the nurse who replied with the expression of 'I told you so'.

Michelle didn't ask him why, knowing the answer already. She reached over his head for a hand towel, wiping off the sweat that was building on his forehead.

"Do you want a drink of water?" she asked him, hearing him stifle a cough as he squeezed her hand again through the discomfort.

He only shook his head.

"All done, Steve," the nurse said. "You're burns are healing nicely. You're very lucky, I've see a lot worse. Keep it covered for now," she ordered as she cleaned up the wrappings from the bandage. "You're friend Danny is here. He's outside. I said I would ask once we were done if you wanted visitors."

"No," he said flatly.

Michelle squatted down so they were face to face. "We need to talk about Elie, Steve." She watched as fresh tears welled up in his eyes.

"I can't."

"I can't make these decisions on my own," she pleaded with him. "Please, don't…" she paused, fighting off her own tears, "don't make me do this alone."

He saw the first one fall from her beautiful auburn eyes, dripping on her cheek. He loved her so much and wasn't sure he would survive this if it wasn't for her. She was right though; he needed to be a part of it. He reached through the bars with his broken hand and used the gauze from it to wipe her cheek. "Ok," he agreed.

Danny came in a few minutes later watching as Michelle covered up Steve with a blanket. He lay on his side with pillows supporting him on both sides of his body. He sensed right away the sadness in the room that had been filling everyone's lives over the past two days since Elie's death.

He walked around the bed and came face to face with that sadness, seeing it consume his friend. They looked at each other only briefly as Steve turned his eyes away first, looking at the ground. He felt ashamed in Danny's presence, not realizing that emotion was lingering in his head with the hundred of others that were plaguing him, but he felt it. He was ashamed that he hadn't saved his little girl from that fire. He'd passed out before he could get her out, he knew it, and he knew Danny knew it. And just as that thought was beginning to absorb into his conscience, a staggering realization occurred to him. Michelle knew it too.

He looked up at her, feeling a whole new wave of fear cross over in him.

"How you holding up, Buddy," Danny asked somberly as he pulled a chair up and sat down in front of him.

Steve closed his eyes, not wanting to face him. He also knew Danny knew the gravity of this loss, having a daughter himself. He was his best friend but at the moment he just wanted him to leave the room. He didn't want to talk about the gruesome discussion of the arrangements of the body of his little Elie. He was doing it for Michelle, not wanting to cause her anymore stress.

Danny rested his hands on his knees, bending his head, trying to put himself in Steve's position, wondering if the tables were turned, what he'd want to hear from him. He couldn't think of a damn thing. So he just sat there with him, in silence.

Michelle took a chair and moved it next to Danny. "Steve," she said softly as he opened his eyes and looked at her. She could see the struggle in him to hold it together, assuming it was because Danny was there. She didn't want to talk about it either, but it had to be done. "What are your wishes for Elie?" She couldn't, and knew she couldn't get those words out without tears flooding her eyes once again.

The two men followed suit. It was a morbid subject that they never dreamt they would ever have to discuss amongst themselves.

' _I want her to be alive and here with me now,'_ he wanted to say,but knew that would just make the ordeal worse. He just wanted to get thought it as quickly as possible. "Where is she now?" he asked, despising the image of her in one of those body bags that he so frequently encountered.

"She's with Max," Danny replied.

Steve looked over at him, not expecting that. It was a decision he knew would have caused controversy with the hospital, yet somehow Danny had managed it, all because he knew as well as he did that Elie would be cared for in a way that she wouldn't at the hospital morgue or a funeral home. It gave him a feeling of relief to know she was still with people who cared about her. Max would never put her in one of those bags.

"Thanks Danny," he said sincerely, knowing his decision was based on the fact that he was a father too.

He nodded, hearing the appreciation in his raspy voice that was still affected by the fire.

Steve looked over at Michelle, "What do you want to do?"

She sniffed, wiping the tissue under her nose. "Should we bury her next to your father?" she suggested.

For a second that seemed like a good idea, but the visual of putting her in the ground quickly changed that. "No," he shook his head. "I don't want to bury her," his voice choked. "I don't want to put my little girl in a box and then cover her with dirt." he looked at her with tears in his eyes, "I don't want to do that."

She reached in and took his hand. "Ok, I don't want to either," she confessed. "I just thought I should suggest that to you. But I don't want that for her."

"What do you want?" he asked her. "Tell me what you see?"

She recalled a memory of Elie running on the beach one day, laughing as she chased a beach ball in the wind, just as she would get close it would sail away again. "I picture her running and jumping and playing. I want that image forever."

He nodded, "I want that too."

"So then should we have her…" she couldn't bring herself to say the word, "and we spread her ashes someplace special."

Steve nodded in agreement. "I'd like that."

"Me too," she sniffed. She looked over at Danny as he wiped his fingers over his eyes.

"I think you guys are making the right decision. I'll talk to Max and Clair."

"Thank you, Danny."

"You're Mom is here?" Steve asked.

"She will be in a couple of hours. She had a layover in LA, but should be landing soon."

"I wanted to pick her up," Danny announced, "but she insisted on taking a car with a driver."

If it were any other time both Steve and Michelle would have found that humorous. It had almost become a bet between them on who would be the first to pick Clair up at the airport, but at the moment they could find humor in nothing.

He stood up, feeling the need to let them be alone together. They needed that privacy to feed off of each other for strength. It was what was going to sustain them through this whole nightmare. "I'm going to go," he said. "I'll make the arraignments with Max." He put a hand on Michelle's shoulder and gently squeezed, looking at Steve, "If you need me, day or night, promise me you'll call?"

She looked up at him and nodded, putting her hand over his that was on her shoulder. "Thank you Danny."

"Thanks Danny," Steve said, but couldn't help but wonder if he was thinking he would have done things differently in the house if it were he saving Gracie from a fire. He focused on Michelle as Danny left the room, feeling that shame creeping up on him again.

He went into that bathroom knowing he could get Elie out and that it might very well be a death trap for himself, but as fate would have it, the wrong person died. ' _It should have been me_ ,' he thought mournfully.

Michelle sat back down in the chair after saying goodbye to Danny. She reached through the bars and took his hand, not knowing of his disposition, how could she, all he had done was gone from sad to sadder, the facial expression was constant.

"I talked to the Plastic Surgeon," Michelle said, "he said you're going to be released in a couple of days. He doesn't think your burns are going to require a skin graph, which is a blessing, but it's still going to be a long recovery. They're going to take out your breathing tube tonight and move you out of the ICU for a couple of days just to make sure you're good and then send you home."

' _Home_ ', he thought bitterly. There was no such thing anymore. It didn't matter where they lived, it would never feel the same. There would always be that feeling that something was missing. He thought of Ellen.

"When are we going to tell Ellen?"

Michelle shook her head, it was just another thought she had tried to avoid but knew was inevitable. It would be like cutting off her right arm, not having her sister there anymore. "I don't know." She laid her forehead on the railing of his bed. "She won't understand," she said as she started to cry.

That same guilt rose up in him again as he thought of Ellen and how he had let her down too.

"Michelle," he said softly, but it came out more as a question.

She looked at him hearing something in the way he said her name that sounded almost as if he were about to ask her something. She put her hand on his face, letting him know she was listening. "What is it?"

He wanted to ask her if she blamed him, or if she thought he should have done something differently. He wanted to tell her that he had tried but had nowhere to go in the house. He thought he could get her out through that window, but the smoke, there was just so much smoke. He closed his eyes picturing the hallway as he came out of the girl's room with Elie holding on so tightly around his neck, trusting him. He second-guessed his decision. He should have gone to the master bedroom. He remembered seeing it full of flames, but in hindsight he could have wrapped something around her. "I…" he shuttered, opening his eyes that began to fill with tears over knowing he'd made the wrong choice and it had cost his daughter her life. "I…I shouldn't have…"

"You shouldn't have what?" she whispered to him, seeing him struggling with whatever it was.

He looked her straight in the eye, manning up to what he had to say, knowing it wouldn't change things but she deserved it. "I'm sorry," he voice shook," He barely got the words as he broke down, feeling the heavy burden on his shoulders crashing down on him. "I'm so sorry, Michelle," he cried. "I tried to get her out, but…"

"Stop it!" she scolded him as she began to cry for him now. "Don't say that!" She gently shook him, "Look at me!"

He couldn't do it. He knew what she was going to say, that it wasn't his fault that he had done the best he could. It was all the clichés` that anyone would say, but he didn't want to hear it because he knew he had failed and no matter how many times she would say it or how she would say it, he didn't believe it, even in the end if she didn't blame him, the blame on himself was solidified. That he would have to live with for the rest of his life. It was a horrible guilt that burned in his heart, replacing that joy he had once felt over the life of his little Elie.

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Michelle hugged her mother tightly, not realizing just how good it would feel.

Clair held her head down on her shoulder, stroking her hair like she used to do when she was a child and was upset about something. "It's going to be ok, honey," she said through her own tears. "I'm here now and I'll take care of everything."

"How is it going to be ok?" she cried helplessly. "It will never be ok."

Clair leaned back holding her face in her hands. "You feel that now, baby, but someday you will smile again, I promise."

Michelle shook her head, not believing it for a second. "I wasn't even here when she died," she sobbed. "I wasn't here."

"You can't do that," Clair said adamantly. "You need to grieve over Elie but don't blame yourself, baby. I know, and you know that you would climb through hell and back for your children. This was a horrible, horrible tragedy but it did not come from your hands, so blaming yourself is only going to make you bitter. You have another daughter," she put her hand on her stomach, "and a baby that needs your love. You're a strong person. I know this past year has been the hardest ever but you overcame it. You and Steve will work through this together and you will be happy again. You just have to believe in that."

Michelle nodded, listening to her, knowing she was right about Ellen and the baby she was carrying, but deep down inside she was having a very difficult time believing she could ever be happy like she was when her family was whole.

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Danny knocked and stuck his head in the door of Steve's room, "Hey," he said to him, surprised to see him sitting up on the edge of the bed. "You're up." He looked at him questionably as he came in the room. "Are you supposed to be up?"

Steve nodded, "I'm supposed to move around so the skin on my back has a chance to stretch I guess, or something like that," he replied somberly.

Danny leaned against the bottom of the bed with his arms crossed, looking him over. They'd put the cast on his right hand since the last time he saw him. His beard had grown in more, covering a portion of his face and down his neck, but the same bleak expression shown behind it. He knew what he was feeling.

It had been four days since the fire. The shock had worn off of everyone and now it turned to the healing process, which Danny knew was going to take longer than the burns on his back, if he ever fully recovered from it. He always stared at the ground not looking at him for longer than a couple of seconds. That's how it had been every time he came to see him. "You're going home tomorrow," Danny said, knowing the conversation was going to be just as avoided as the eye contact.

"I guess."

"I went by the house today with the Fire Marshal and your insurance agent. It's still a crime scene, but we're working on getting it freed up so they can begin working on it."

Steve looked over at him, "Working on it?" he questioned.

"Yes, tearing down the old and…"

"I don't want them to touch it," he said firmly. "I don't want anyone to touch it."

"Why?"

"Doesn't matter why?" he snapped. "It's my fucking house, I'll take care of it myself."

Danny stood unfazed by the outburst. "What are you going to do," he sighed, "do a re-enactment of your steps, try and make sense of why you went in the bathroom and maybe not down the steps, or through the master bedroom that is literally gone now because it took the brunt of the fire." He didn't have to hear it from Michelle that he was putting blame on himself, Danny knew his partner to well to think for a second that he wouldn't blame himself for his daughter's death.

Steve felt a chill run through him, it was exactly the question he'd been asking himself over and over. He dreamt of it, he obsessed over it, and he knew that others would eventually question it as well. "You think I made a mistake," he said as if he already knew the answer from his best friend was going to be yes.

"No," Danny replied, "the only mistake I think you made is trying to second guess yourself."

"I should have gone through the bedroom," Steve replied, feeling his heart breaking the same as it always did when re-enacting it in his head.

"The why didn't you?" Danny asked bluntly. "Why didn't you go out through the master bedroom? Why take her in the bathroom?"

Steve shook his head, feeling that guilt rising up in his throat that tasted like bile. "I don't know?" he replied weakly.

"Yes you do," Danny scolded him. "Don't give me that bullshit answer! You came out of the bedroom, holding her and you looked down the hallway toward the stairs and then you looked toward the master bedroom. You choose neither one of those, why?"

Steve finally looked over at him. "Just fucking say what you're going to say and get it over with," he growled.

"I want to hear it from you," Danny replied, "I want you to say it and believe it."

"It doesn't matter," Steve said miserably, "don't you get it? It was me she was clinging to. It was me that made the decisions that ultimately cost my little girl her life," his voice broke over the intensity of what he was trying to get across to him. "It doesn't matter if you tell me, if Michelle tells me, it every person in the state of fucking Hawaii tells me that I made the right decision, when it comes down to it, I failed! I'm here and she isn't. I failed, Danny!"

"Steve," Danny said passively.

"Don't fucking stand there and tell me that if the tables were turned that you'd feel even the slightest bit differently than I do right now. Don't even fucking try it, because I know and you know it's a fucking lie!"

Danny felt the chill run through him this time, coming to terms with what he was actually dealing with. He stood there staring at him, knowing he was dead on right. It didn't matter if he made every right decision and fate still beat him out, it had to do with the father in him. He had failed the ultimate test of being able to save her. He understood now the demons that were haunting him, because he was right, if the table were turned it would be a horrible guilt he would live with the rest of his life. He came there that day to try and help him by convincing him he had done all he could, but in the end, there wasn't a word he could say that would take away the fact that he was her father and he had failed to protect his child. There were no words that could cure that.

"Michelle doesn't understand," Steve said, "she never will, maybe because she loves me and doesn't want to see it, but this will live in me for the rest of my life."

"She has her own guilt you know," he said to him.

Steve looked over at him troubled over that, "Why?"

"She wasn't here when Elie died. She was with me." He saw the expression on his face, telling him he didn't know. "There's something else you should know too. It wasn't me that killed O'Neil, it was Michelle. She stabbed him in the neck. By the time we got back here, it was too late."

He stared at him in shock over that. "She…I thought she was here, the whole time."

Danny shook his head. "She went with Chin and I. We tracked him up on Ko'olau Rim, on those stairs that lead up the mountain. She caught up with him first. There was a struggle," he didn't go into detail, not seeing the point, knowing if Steve wanted to know more he had access. "she stabbed him."

He wanted to yell at him for taking her up there, especially knowing she was pregnant, but he also knew his wife and knew she would have gone with or without them. He should have been relieved that she was with them.

"When we got back here…" he went to finish the story, but decided those details weren't necessary either. He didn't want to relive it anymore than Steve needed to hear it. "She harbors that guilt, just like you do."

He was stunned, still trying to process it when she came through the door. He looked over at her, showing every bit of that confusion and bewilderment as she stopped, looking at the two of them. Danny diverted his eyes elsewhere as her husband just sat and stared.

"What?" she asked, "What's wrong?" her voice stressing her concern, not needing or able to deal with anymore bad news.

"Nothing," Steve said, not wanting to put her on the spot. "It's nothing."

She came toward him, letting go the concern, having a much bigger one to deal with at the moment. "Good, because Ellen is here."

He sat up straight and then cringed over the pain of it, "What?! No Michelle, not now."

She came toward him, "She wants to see her Daddy. She misses you." She could see the apprehension all over him, taking his hand and squeezing it until she got his full attention. "Steve, she misses you."

He heard her loud and clear that time, surprised with himself that he would try and turn down a visit from her. He hadn't seen her since the night of the fire. "Yes, ok. Yes, of course." He looked down at his attire. "Jesus, I bet I look scary as hell." He ran his hand over his beard. "I should shave."

"She doesn't care," Michelle assured him. "You look like Daddy. I told her you were hurt, so she knows." She took his hand, "We need to tell her about Elie, Steve." She looked down as tears filled her eyes. When she looked back up at him she saw them in his too as he nodded, "I know. I don't know what to say."

"I don't either, but we have to find someway to tell her."

Danny slipped out the door, feeling like an intruder. Neither Steve nor Michelle noticed, too mentally and emotionally tied up in the burden they were about to bestow upon their daughter. He came out, seeing her sitting with Clair. She slid off her chair and came running over to him, wrapping her arms around his legs.

"Hi Danny!" she sang out happily.

He wasn't prepared for the greeting, knowing it was Ellen, but his heart was breaking as he saw Elie too in her twin sister. He put his hands on her head, hugging her as he desperately fought off his own grief. He was struck hard by his first encounter of missing Elie, but what hurt the most was that Ellen's life was about to change in the most profound way that it would change her as a person, forever. It was unavoidable. He tried his best to accommodate her for the moment and fight off the emotional train that was running him over

"Hi sweetie," he said, stroking her hair.

She looked up at him, "I'm going to see Daddy and then Elie."

"That's great," he squeezed her again, not able to keep up the charade, feeling those endless tears filling his eyes. "I have to go honey, I'll see you soon, ok?"

"Ok," she said letting go and going back over to Clair. "Bye Danny."  
He caught Clair's eye for just a moment seeing the same pain in her that was torturing him, she too put on a face for her granddaughter's sake, at least for the time being.

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Michelle stood at the window of Steve's room and looked out at the beautiful view of Diamond Head in the distance as the sun slowly made it's way over the top. Everything seemed to be sparkling from the morning rain that had come through only moments before and then drifted out over the ocean, leaving paradise with another perfectly cleansed day.

She glanced over at Steve and Ellen as they lay together on the bed. He on his side and she tucked in close to him. If it were any other time she would have reached for her phone and snapped off a couple of pictures, but she wanted no recollection of the night they had just gone through, none at all.

They were going home today, but it wasn't a joyous occasion. She felt tense, unsure, scared, sad, angry, but amongst all that she did feel just the slightest bit of hope. Life was never going to be the same, wondering how in the world she was going to make life normal again for Ellen.

Telling her about Elie was the worst thing she had ever done. Trying to explain to a four year old that her twin sister that she'd been with every single day of her life since she was conceived was the biggest challenge she had ever faced. Ellen of course didn't understand, hearing what they had to say and then asking the inevitable question of, "when will she be back?"

She felt alone in the endeavor, Steve tried but he stumbled with words, choking up and unable to speak when he needed to. At times Ellen was more frightened of his emotional state than she was of the news Michelle was trying explain to her. In the end, she felt Ellen understood that Elie was never coming back, but seeing the anger that came from it was heartbreaking. Ellen had demanded to see her sister, walking to the door and trying to open it as she yelled at both of her parents, crying out of frustration and fear.

It was Michelle of course who went to her, but she had been the bearer of bad news so it was Steve that Ellen ran back to, crawling up on the lowered bed and wrapping her arms around his neck, begging him to take her to see Elie. She remembered the devastating expression on his face as he held her, trying to explain in words that she would understand, but in the end she fought him too, but he held firm, fighting with her through his own pain from his burns and broken hand, holding her in his lap like a baby as she screamed and wailed, not letting go of her until she finally gave up out of pure exhaustion. She lay there for a while longer whimpering softly until she fell asleep.

He lay down with her, both of them physically and emotionally drained over the ordeal, while Michelle sat up most of the night, pondering their future.

She glanced back out the window at the picturesque view as the sun broke over Diamond Head, forming a beautiful rainbow from the mist that floated off the mountains.

' _Fuck paradise.'_ she thought bitterly.


	20. Chapter 21

Michelle came down the hall toward Steve's room, pushing a cart to haul away the flowers that had arrived over the course of the six days he'd been in the hospital. He was coming home today but it was by no means a day of joy or celebration. That became apparent as she entered the room, seeing him sitting in a wheelchair waiting to be escorted out.

His back was to her as he sat close to the window but wasn't looking out at the view. He turned his head just slightly, seeing that it was his wife.

She let the door close on its own as she went to him, knowing what he was feeling because she was feeling it too. She stood behind him and bent over, putting her arms around him, sensing the tears that had become accustom to the both of them over the past six days.

He reached up with his left hand and put it over top of hers that rested on his chest. He felt her tears drip off her chin and land on his shoulder.

"One day at a time," she whispered to him.

He nodded, not able to reply with words, feeling his throat close up.

She felt his shoulders begin to tremble, knowing he was fighting it. "I love you," she said to him, wanting him to know that it was ok to cry, today, tomorrow, ten years from now: there was no time limit for shedding tears for his daughter.

He bent his head, feeling comforted by her, always aware that he needed her, but over the past week she had been like a lifeboat keeping him afloat through this terrible storm that was blowing through their lives. The only thing he felt relieved over was that he could grieve and always knew there would be love there to help him through it, knowing it was the same for her.

"I love you, too," he sniffed, "We'll be ok."

She kissed his wet cheek, "Always."

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The three of them sat at the kitchen table together eating silently. It was their first night back in the old house and Michelle had tried to make it as normal as possible for Ellen by making her favorite dinner from one of the many dishes that were stuffed in the freezer and refrigerator. She was sure she wouldn't have to cook, or grocery shop for at least a month. She didn't even know whom the dishes belonged to so she could return them; they were just left there filled with food and love from their friends.

Ellen moved the macaroni and cheese around on her plate with her fork, staring at it but only taking small bites at a time every so often.

Steve sat across from her doing the very same thing but his attention was focused on her. His mind was consumed over trying to find something to say to her, something that would remove the miserably sad expression on her face.

"Maybe next week we could go kayaking," he said to her out of the blue.

Michelle looked over at him oddly, knowing there was no way he could go kayaking next week in his condition.

Ellen looked up at him as tears filled her eyes, thinking of her sister and how afraid she used to be of the water, but bravely did it anyway. Her face contorted recalling the last time they had gone together. "I called Elie a baby because she was afraid of the water," she confessed. "That wasn't very nice."

Michelle reached over taking her little hand. "Don't cry honey," she said while her own emotions got the better of her over the turmoil of what her daughter was going through. "You didn't say it to be mean." She glanced over at Steve for help, but he pushed back from the table and got up, walking away.

Ellen watched him go in the garage and close the door behind him. She looked back over at her mother as fresh tears filled her eyes. "Is Daddy mad at me?"

She squeezed her hand, "No, honey. Of course not." She pushed her plate away from her. "I'm not very hungry for mac and cheese." She smiled at Ellen. "I did see some mint chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer though. Do you want some of that for dinner instead?"

Ellen wiped the back of her hand over her eyes, surprised over the unexpected treat. "Ok."

"Ok," Michelle smiled enthusiastically, "lets have ice cream."

"Daddy too?" Ellen asked, pushing her own plate away.

"Daddy too." She stood up, "Why don't you get the ice cream out and I'll go get him."

"Ok." She ran over to the refrigerator as Michelle went to the garage.

He heard the door open and cringed, knowing what he did was wrong, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He braced his hands on the workbench, using the bottom of his shirt to wipe his face off.

Michelle stood behind him, "She thinks you're mad at her. You can't just walk out like that."

"I know, it won't happen again."

"You can't just walk out when things get rough and leave me there alone. It's hard for me too!"

"I know!" he yelled and then recanted, replying more calmly, "I know. I'm sorry." He turned around seeing the frustration and weariness all over her. He wasn't helping. He just added number sixty-one on his list of guilt's and faults, reaching out with his hand and touching her face. "I'm sorry."

She nodded but backed away from it, only allowing him a brief encounter, "Come inside, we're having ice cream."

He followed behind her, knowing he'd made a grave error. He needed to be more aware that it wasn't just him feeling the loss; they were all hurting. He was sure Michelle wanted to run out of the room too, but she didn't. She stayed and faced it. He'd never do that again.

They came back in the kitchen as Ellen set another half gallon of ice cream on the counter next to the other three.

"Look at all this ice cream!" she said.

Steve reached under her arms, "Jump," he said, needing her assistance, not able to lift her as easily with his wounds healing and broken hand. She did as he asked and he lifted her up and set her on the counter, giving her a kiss as he reached over her head for bowls. "I'm filling my bowl up to the rim," he said.

Ellen smiled brightly at him, pleased that he really wasn't mad at her. "What kind are you going to have, Daddy?"

"All of them," he replied, setting down three bowls and opening the drawer, and then another looking for the ice cream scoop in the foreign kitchen, not remembering where it used to be kept. He looked over as Michelle handed it out to him with forgiveness in her eyes. He took it from her, purposely touching the tips of her fingers, conveying to her again that he was sorry. "What kind of ice cream do you think the baby would like, Ellen?"

In all the chaos over the past few days she had forgotten that Michelle was pregnant. She looked at her stomach thinking out loud just as a four year old would. "Maybe Elie will be born from your tummy again, just like when me and her were born. Do you think that might happen?" she asked her mother.

Michelle understood his reasoning now for wanting to run out of the room, because that's exactly what she wanted to do. That question hurt beyond words as she recalled giving birth to the two of them. Elie had come out first. She would always be her first born.

Steve put his hand under Ellen's chin after seeing his wife's expression turn grim. He lifted her little face up so he could see her, and she could see him. "That won't happen, Ellen. You are only born once."

She looked at him quizzically, "And you only die once," she stated in that childlike voice.

He felt the air leave his body over such a profound statement coming from his four year old. She didn't deserve this, he thought sadly. "Yes," he replied to her, feeling that wave of grief begin to overtake him again. He took the top off the ice cream and fought back, needing to divert her from this subject, more so for his own sake. "Do you want four scoops or five," he asked in the most upbeat tone he could as his voice shuttered ever so slightly.

Michelle heard it though, taking the top off another one, working through this painful moment with him. "I think we should have one of each and then if we want more. Another scoop of each."

Ellen smiled happily, not realizing even for a brief moment the sullen mood both her parents were in.

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Michelle arranged the bed the same as the nurses had in the hospital. She went back downstairs, passing by Ellen's room and glancing inside as she slept soundly, pleased over that. Her mother would be coming in the morning to help out. Clair had insisted that she stay at a nearby hotel rather than at the house, letting them have their privacy as a family; in the end Michelle didn't fight her, it was the right decision.

She shook out two pills from Steve's prescription bottle and filled a glass of water, taking them back up to him. On her way back up the stairs she stopped mid step, feeling for the first time the flutter in her stomach that was actually a small kick. She smiled and waited to see if it would happen again, but nothing. Her joy over the moment was quickly diminished as her reflexive smile faded, thinking of Elie and what Ellen had said earlier. It broke her heart that this pregnancy would be filled with so much sorrow instead of the blessing it should be. She began to climb up the rest of the stairs again, just wanting to go to bed and sleep. It's where she found the only peace in her life at the moment.

Steve came out of the bathroom shirtless and without the bandage on his back, instructed by the doctors to let it breathe, so to say, overnight.

Michelle set down the water and pills on his side of the bed. "How did you get your bandage off?"

He shrugged, sitting down on the side of the mattress. "I just peeled it off. It's fine."

"Steve," she scolded him, "you shouldn't do that." She moved behind him, seeing the remains of skin and blood in the partially opened wounds. "Damn it," she said scolded him again. "It's not fine. Let me do it next time."

He rolled his eyes, not wanting help with it. He didn't want her to see it. It was just a constant reminder of what they were going through and more so why they were going through it.

She came out of the bathroom with a damp towel. "Do you hear me?" she continued on. "Don't try that again."

"All right," he snapped. "Jesus, Michelle, I was just trying to save you from doing it. Do you really want to look at that shit?!"

She crawled up on the bed, kneeling down behind him, cringing as she really looked at the wounds that were healing but would never really go away.

"I'm sorry," she said passively, but half of that apology was because she felt sorry for him. Those scars would be a constant reminder to him of that night, knowing of his guilt over it. She needed to be more aware of that she told herself. She gently put the towel on a spot that showed blood, wishing she could make it all disappear.

He closed his eyes, knowing what she was looking at. He hated it. Her eyes on him burned worse than the actual wounds themselves. He felt a hand on his shoulder as she steadied him, continuing the cleansing. "That's good," he said, moving forward away from her and then stood up.

"There's still some blood."

"If you're worried about the sheets I'll put a towel down."

"I'm worried about you and them getting infected."

"They told me to sleep open air. I don't think they would say that if there was a chance of them getting infected."

Michelle didn't argue with him about it anymore, not wanting to start a fight before they went to sleep, besides she was exhausted. She tossed the towel in a basket by the dresser and lay down in her spot that she occupied for years before they moved to the bigger house. "Take your pills." She said to him as he went to carefully lie down next to her.

"I don't want them."

She sat up on her elbow, "I swear to god," she growled, "are you just trying to pick a fight with me tonight?"

"No, I just don't want to take them. What difference does it make?"

"Because I know you're in pain."

"So are you," he replied truthfully.

She huffed and rolled over with her back to him. "That's a fabulous comeback. I wish I could take two pills that would knock me out from my pain, but instead I'll just lay here and stress about everything that's going on and add you to the list, because you feel to guilty to take your pain medication. Fine. I give up." She reached out to her nightstand and turned the lamp off, leaving them in the dark.

He wasn't taking them because he felt guilty; unlike her he didn't want to sleep. The last couple of nights he'd had terrible nightmares about the fire, waking up in a cold sweat after hearing Elie's voice in his dream.

But he took the pills anyway and drank the water, lying down next to her. He'd risk another nightmare if it would give her even the slightest bit of peace.

He reached his hand out and slid his fingers down her back and over the silky material of the mid-length nightgown he'd never seen before. They all had clothes that had either been bought or donated to them; some of them with the tags still on them. He had yet to think about all the personal and material things they had lost in the fire, at the moment everything was just trivial compared to the ultimate loss they were experiencing. He moved his hand back up to her shoulders and slid it down once again, hoping she found it relaxing.

Michelle heard him take the pills and knew her husband well enough to know that his touch was a kind gesture because she told him she was stressed. He was trying to calm her. She decided to give him one in return.

"I felt the baby kick for the first time a little while ago," she whispered to him.

"You did," he asked enthusiastically, "when?"

She rolled over on her back. "When I was coming up the stairs."

His hand instantly moved to her lower belly. "Show me where?"

She took ahold of it with both hands and moved it over the spot. "Right around here."

He held steady in that spot, looking at her profile in the faint light coming from the French doors. She looked beautiful he thought, but when she was pregnant she always looked radiant. "I think it's sleeping," he whispered.

She rubbed her hands over top of his, moving it over to a new spot. "Can you feel the bump yet?"

"A little," he said, "pretty soon you won't be able to see your feet."

She glanced over at him, "Will you still love me when I get all fat and wobbly?" she teased.

"Nope, I'll be out looking for a replacement by then," he teased her back.

She brought his hand up to her mouth and bit it just hard enough to make him yelp and chuckle.

He heard her laugh as well, which gave him a wonderful calming inside. He wished he could curl up closer to her, not fearing that dreaded sleep anymore. He closed his eyes, moving his hand back to her stomach and resting it there.

"I don't mind doing your bandages," she said to him. "I don't think it looks as bad as you say."

He opened his eyes back up, looking at her as she turned her head, facing him. "And there is no one on this earth that could ever replace you, Michelle. I'll always love you, no matter what."

It was the first time since the ordeal that they actually thought about something else, no tears were shed, no sadness existed in these few minutes of bliss as they fed off of each other's love, masking the grief…even if it was short lived.

They both lay sleeping after dosing off at the same time. Michelle woke up first, hearing the cries.

"Elie!" she gasped, sitting up in bed.

"Michelle," Steve whispered, fearing she was having a nightmare, when he too heard Ellen crying. He sat up but she was already off the bed and running around it to the door.

She switched the light on in Ellen's room, seeing her curled up on her side, sobbing.

Michelle bent over and scooped her up as the child sat up with her, crawling up on her lap, continuing the hysterical crying.

"It's ok, honey, Mommy's here. It's ok," Michelle consoled.

Steve stood at the door watching the display, cringing over the sound of her tears, it sounded so much like Elie's crying from his dreams. He came inside and sat down on the other side of the bed, putting his hand on her back as she held tightly around her mother's neck. He looked at Michelle's troubled expression, not knowing what to do to ease their discomforts. "Ellen," he said, "its ok sweetie."

She turned around to her father with tears pouring down her face. "You were so mad," Ellen professed. "You were yelling at Elie and me and then she ran away into the water until she was over her head." She faced her mother again, gripping her around the neck. "She never came out of the water."

Steve let his hand fall off her onto the bed, shocked over what she had just said to him.

Michelle reached over and gripped his arm, speaking to Ellen but she was looking at Steve. "It was only a dream."

"No it wasn't," Ellen sobbed. "I could see her. I want her to come home," she cried harder. "I want Elie to come home!" Her voice shook as she looked back over at her father, needing someone to blame for her misfortune and at the moment from her dream, it was him.

Steve cowered as her little eyes narrowed, staring him down angrily. She didn't have to say anything to get her point across, she was madder than hell at him, and he heard her loud and clear. The guilt was pouring over him, drowning him in that horrible feeling of regret and shame, but most of all blame, he felt he was to blame. He hadn't protected his family, even his four-year-old daughter recognized it, and how could he possibly argue with that.

"I'm sorry, Ellen," he said sincerely, looking it even more so, but she just turned her face away, gripping her mother's neck tighter, dismissing him stubbornly and his apology.

"Ellen," Michelle said firmly, seeing the devastating outcome on her husband's face over it.

"It's ok," Steve shook his head at her, telling her to stop. She had a right to be angry and he'd rather it be focused at him than on her, Michelle didn't deserve it and in her delicate state right now, he didn't want her to have to take on anything else. He put his hand back on Ellen, stroking her hair. "It's ok to be mad honey, I understand."

She refused to acknowledge him or the touch, shifting in Michelle's lap and gripping her tighter.

He stood up and left the room feeling his presence there was only making her more hostile. He went down the steps having no idea where he was going, but at the moment he felt so out of place in the house he just wanted out.

Michelle leaned over, laying Ellen down in the bed as she calmed. She used the sheets to wipe her face off. "You aren't really mad at Daddy are you?" she asked her.

"He was yelling at Elie and me and then Elie ran away." Her eyes held the same narrowed, angered expression as before.

"That was just a dream, Ellen. Daddy never yelled at you and Elie, and he didn't make Elie run out into the water. He loves you both so much that he would do anything to protect you."

Her eyes softened over that statement that she knew was true, but just needed to be reminded of it. The anger was replaced by a sadness that engulfed her over the realization once again that her sister was never coming back. "I want Elie to come home," she whimpered, starting to cry again.

Michelle leaned down and hugged her, "So do I Ellen, so do I."

Steve stood down by the water in the backyard, looking out over the vast ocean, wondering what God he'd angered over the course of his life to bring so much destruction to his family over the past year. He'd always relied on his inner strength and faith in a higher power to pull him through the toughest times of his life, but this one was going to be a battle he didn't think he was going to win. He'd lost friends, family and even almost lost his wife, but nothing in the world could have ever prepared him for the loss of a child. It was as if a part of him had been cut open and removed, having no idea how to fill that void that was so big it was altering everything he believed in and had once relied on. He wasn't the same person that ran in that house that night to save Elie. Who the fireman carried out felt like just a shell of that man. He felt numb; wishing again that it was he who had died and not his little girl. He felt a sharp pain in his chest, fearing he might have lost both of them, knowing of Ellen's anger toward him. She was only four but he felt she was the only one that was brave and innocent enough to say what everyone else was thinking.

Michelle came out the back, seeing him standing in the yard. She moved up next to him as he stared straight ahead. She followed his line of sight, knowing no matter what she said to him at that moment, that it wouldn't be enough. She had always admired him for being the kind of father that his children looked up to. In no other way to describe it, he was their hero, from top to bottom. But that was no longer true. It wasn't his fault, but it didn't matter. He had failed. He had failed them all, and what hurt the most in her was that she was beginning to feel that resentment for his failure. Her grief was turning to anger over the loss of her daughter. She'd hunted down the man that started the fire and hurt her baby. She had killed him. She'd done her part. Steve told her not to go in the house that he'd get Elie out and she believed him.

She looked up at him, fighting those horrible thoughts about him, feeling guilty for even letting them enter her mind. They had to stick together she scolded herself, just like they had a few months before when they were again trapped in this house after she'd come back from Jordan. It had almost destroyed them but they'd managed to overcome it, and they'd do it again; they just had to stick together. Besides , she thought sadly, who was she to find fault in him. She hadn't even been there when her baby died. Elie was alone; she'd been all alone.

They stood next to each other but neither said a word, both lost in their own thoughts of what they could have or should have done differently that night. It was an unnatural thing for a parent to grieve for a child, it should never happen to anyone, and both Steve and Michelle were slowly being consumed over the impact of theirs.

He didn't want her there, for the first time in his life since knowing her, he just wanted her to go away and leave him alone.


	21. Chapter 22

**_Happy Mother's Day all you wonderful Moms! Posted this one early for you… :)_**

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The climb up the trail wasn't as easy as Steve thought it would be. His back hurt but he neglected to take the pain medication, getting used to the feel of pain. Not able to decipher one from the other anymore, it was just constant.

He looked up from the dirt path seeing Michelle, Clair and Ellen just ahead of him. Beyond them Danny walked with his arm around a sullen Gracie, and just beyond that were Chin, Kono and a couple of others, including Ben that had come along as well out of respect and just wanting closure.

The trail led up to a remote waterfall that was on a piece of property of a friend. They had gone there often as a family and played in the water and picnicked in the grass by the edge. Steve, Michelle and Ellen had all agreed it was where Elie should be laid to rest. Steve carried her ashes in his left arm like a football, the same way he used to carry her when she was a baby. She used to fit perfectly nestled in his arm, the way her urn did now.

All the way up his mind was consumed with thoughts and memories of her. One that gave him comfort was the night Michelle had left for Jordan. He remembered sitting out on the lanai off the master bedroom as Elie came out and joined him. They talked about missing her and in that sweet innocent way she had, Elie had calmed him. He'd never forget the feel of her curled up on his lap as he told her the story of when she and Ellen were born, for what could have possibly been the twentieth time. But she never grew bored with it, the same as he never tired of sharing it with her. It was those special moments between them that he would miss the most. They had several that no one else knew of, it was just between the two of them, wishing now he would have taken the time to accumulate more.

Michelle looked back over her shoulder at him as he stared at the ground, making his way up the path. Her eyes caught just a glimpse of Elie before she turned back around. The walk was silent, everyone caught up in their own thoughts of where they were headed and why. She thought about the last time they had come here. Elie held her hand as they walked, her doll Susie tucked securely in her other arm. Steve and Ellen had run ahead, racing down the path as they usually did, impatient to get to the water and go swimming. But she and Elie liked the walk, they strolled along at a slow pace talking about whatever was on the mind of her intriguing four year old at the time. On that day it was the responsibilities of being a mother. Michelle recalled the conversation between them as if Susie was her actual child. She thought about the doll then and where it was, wondering if it had perished in the fire with the rest of their things. She hadn't been to the house, neither she nor Steve had the strength to go there just yet.

She looked up seeing the end of the path, knowing they were getting close. She began to feel the pressure around her heart, wishing now she had planned something more for her daughter, something that would ease the pain of what they were about to do, but under the circumstances she was lucky to even make it out of bed that day. Depression was a horrible thing that wrapped around you and squeezed and squeezed until sometimes she felt she was suffocating under the pressure.

Steve felt the same, wanting to turn around and go home, not ready for this. He didn't want to just dump his little girl in the water and say goodbye. He wasn't sure now if this waterfall was the best idea until he came around the corner of the trees and out into the open area.

He stopped behind Michelle as they both stood in awe of the flowers that surrounded the area, but were even more amazed by the amount of people that had gathered to pay their respects to Elie. They were spread out all around the waterfall. They lined the edge of the thirty-foot drop that fed into a crystal clear pool that too was surrounded by friends. People stood on the rocks that encircled the space and some even ankle deep in the water not able to find an open spot on the dry land.

He knew they weren't all there because of he and Michelle, they were there because in some small way Elie had touched each one of their lives. She had that gift and it proved to be true by the amount of people that had come to say goodbye to her.

Michelle looked back at him with tears in her eyes, reaching her hand back for his. He took a step forward and reached out with his broken one as she held his fingers while they made the last few steps together. The crowd in front of them moved out of the way making a path for them down to the water; some touching them on the shoulder while others touched the urn.

They both looked up as someone began to sing a Hawaiian lullaby in the most angelic voice either had ever heard. Michelle didn't know the words, but Steve did, becoming overwhelmed by not only the lyrics but by the people who joined in as the voices echoed off the rock walls, blending together in perfect harmony. He couldn't help but think how much Elie would have loved it.

He came to the edge of the pool with Michelle and Ellen as they looked around them again, listening to the singing. When the song was over it was silent again. Nothing could be heard but the sound of the water falling over the rocks and splashing in the water.

Michelle looked at him for guidance, wanting to speak but knowing she wouldn't be able to even get a word out.

He took a breath and let it out slow, trying his best to retain his composure as he looked around at everyone, speaking to no one in particular. "This means…" His voice broke as he bent his head, fighting with his emotions as Michelle moved up against him, steading him. He waited a minute and took in another deep breath, facing everyone again as they stood patient, not wavering in the least. "This means a great deal to us that you're here," he began, fighting to get the words out that he felt needed to be said on her behalf. "Elie was a rare and precious gift that was taken from us too soon," he cried, "taken from all of us. But it's a great comfort to Michelle and I to know that she'll always be remembered, not only by us but from all of you who she touched with her sweet, sweet little life, so thank you for that." He took a tissue that his wife held for him, dabbing his eyes with it. "Thank you for being here."

Michelle laid her head on his shoulder, gripping his arm as her tears slid one after the other down her face, letting him know she was pleased with what he had said. There wasn't a dry eye amongst them. She wiped her own face off and looked up at everyone. "I feel like each and every one of you are like family." She put her hand on the urn in his arm. "Please, if you want to spread some of her ashes, please come do so." She looked up at Steve and he nodded in agreement.

He took the top off as they both moved closer to the edge of the water. He reached in first and took a handful, watching it sift through his fingers as it fell in the clear water. "I love you sweetie," he whispered.

Michelle did the same, "I love you my little angel."

Steve motioned to Ellen as he knelt down on one knee. She knew what it was that he held. They had talked about it with her before coming and asked if she wanted to spread some too and she had agreed. She reached inside and scooped up some of her sister's ashes and held it over the water like her parents had. "I wish you could come home Elie," she said. "I miss you." She let it fall in the water and started to cry as her mother scooped her up in her arms.

Clair reached in next and set her hand in the water, opening it up as the ashes dissipated. "Heaven is so lucky," she whimpered.

Danny approached first after Clair. He reached in and took a small amount, squatting down over the water as he opened his hand. "Uncle Danny loves you and will always miss you." He stood up, wiping the tears away and hugged Michelle first and then Steve, moving out of the way as the line formed behind Gracie, Chin and Kono, each person taking a small amount and saying what they felt in their heart. Some spoke in native tongue while others told brief stories of how she had touched them, while others just mouthed prayers and mournful goodbyes.

By the time everyone had made it through there was still a small amount in the bottom of the urn. Steve and Michelle held it together and tilted it upside down as it spilled into the water.

They watched as it spread out and slowly disappeared.

Michelle fell into him and began to sob as he put his arms around her, pulling her in close as he too said his final goodbyes with tears.

The people around them slowly faded off into the trees and up through another path that led back to their cars, leaving the family alone.

Danny and Clair took Ellen's hands and led her away, comforting a tearful Gracie as well. The moment was becoming too intense for Ellen as she cried even harder over the mournful appearance of her parents.

Michelle moved away from him as she went down to her hands and knees, leaning over the water. She dipped her hand in and washed it over her face, closing her eyes and repeating it, cleansing herself in the pool that had now become a sacred place for her. ' _Mommy misses you so much_ ,' she silently prayed to her daughter. ' _I'm so sorry baby. I should have been there with you. I'm so sorry.'_

Steve stood over her, watching the heartbreaking display before him of his wife. He knelt down next to her, putting a gentle hand on her back.

She looked up at him as the water dripped from her face. " _We let her down_ ," she wanted to scream at him. " _This was all our fault! She's gone because of us!"_ But instead she turned her face away, not able to look at him for fear she would say it. Her guilt intensified as she took the blame from him and put it upon herself. It was she that had brought the devil to their door, not him.

He wanted to tell her he was sorry for failing her, for failing Ellen but most of all for failing Elie, but he kept silent, not wanting this moment to become about him and his faults. He felt the sadness of the huge loss, but he also didn't want to leave this place today with a heavy heart of never wanting to come back. He stared at the pool of water where they had sprinkled Elie's ashes, recalling her splashing around on a clear day just like this one as he sat on the edge relaxing in the sun.

"Come swimming with me Daddy!" she would yell out to him. "Come swim with me."

He was glad now he had never once denied her wish.

"Ok," he whispered under his breath, wanting to swim with her again one last time.

He sat down in the grass by the edge of the water and slipped his shoes off. He unbuttoned his shirt next, letting it fall off his shoulders. He scooted forward until he was able to slip into the water, letting it cover his body as he baptized himself in the blessed pool. The burns on his back cooled for the first time. The pain went away as he stood there in the chest high water, moving his hands slowly back and forth becoming mesmerized by the crystal clear liquid that began to sparkle as the afternoon sun appeared overhead through the trees.

He felt a peaceful calm move through him the same as he did that night when she sat on his lap and fell asleep. She was there, he could feel her. The turmoil that had been torturing him was gone too. There was no room for it anymore. He felt that void in his heart being filled by her spirit. It was one of the most profound moments of his life, right up there with the day she was born and they put her in his arms for the first time only minutes later. He was lucky to have known her let alone having the privilege of being her father He closed his eyes, picturing her swimming around him and could almost hear her laughter amongst the sounds of the waterfall and the breeze that blew through the trees. He'd always miss her and love her, but he also knew that she would never be too far away.

He turned around as Michelle stared at him. Her expression was the saddest he think he'd ever seen on any human being. He reached his hand out to her, wanting her to feel what he was. She moved closer to the edge until she could grasp it as he led her into the pool fully dressed. She moved in front of him with her back against his chest as he held her close.

She didn't feel the same effect as he, she just felt sad, not sure how she was going to leave this place and move on into a life without her Elie. It was hard to even look at Ellen, seeing her twin so much alive in those eyes and the facial expressions. She wished now they hadn't been identical.

Steve moved his hands down over her lower belly, feeling the baby that was growing inside of her. Maybe Ellen was right he thought, Elie lived in each one them, why wouldn't a part of her live in this person as well. It saddened him that they would never know their big sister, but he would make sure that they knew of her.

He felt Michelle trembling, knowing it wasn't from the water.

"One day at a time," he whispered, repeating her own words of encouragement.

"Our family is broken now," she shuttered. "She's gone."

"Nothing is broken. Elie will always be a part of this family. I can't stand the thought of leaving here today thinking that she's gone, like we're supposed to just ignore that she was once a part of our lives. I can't do that. I won't."

He made it sound so simple, like he already had a plan. All she could feel was sadness and grief. "I'm scared Steve," she whimpered, turning her body as she nestled closer to him to like a child. "I'm scared to go home."

He laid her head on his shoulder, stroking her hair, "I'm scared too, but we have each other and we have Ellen too and soon we'll have a new baby. Life will go on. I'm not saying it will be the same, but we have to adjust, if we don't then it will be a terrible injustice to Elie." He put his hand under her chin, forcing her to look up. Her face held the same sadness and now fear. "I love you. I love my family. I'm nothing without you and Ellen. I need you both to get through this, and you need us." He kissed her forehead, "One day at time, Michelle. We'll slowly adjust one day at a time."

She nodded her head, laying it back on his shoulder. She closed her eyes tightly, wanting desperately to believe everything he said, not only for her sake but for his and Ellen's too.

They came out of the water together. He slipped his shoes back on and wrapped his dry shirt around her soaking wet shoulders. His cast dripped with water but he could have cared less, he was leaving this place with a different attitude than when he had arrived, attributing it all to Elie.

He picked up the urn and held it securely in his right arm, holding open his left hand, an invitation for his wife.

She looked up at him as she slipped her fingers through his and he grasped it. He brought it up to his lips, kissing the back of it before he led them out toward the path to home.


	22. Chapter 23

Steve sat in his truck just after dawn, staring at the charred remains of their home. There were two signs posted on the house threatening invaders of trespassing, warning them of surveillance cameras as well as full prosecution of the law if they dare cross the line.

Steve grinned, knowing it was Danny that had put the signs there and also knowing for a fact that there was no surveillance.

He got out and stood in front of the truck, hesitant about going inside. That night was still so fresh in his mind and always would be. He gave it about as much equal time as he did sitting in his truck before he felt the will to move forward another step, approaching the front door that looked as if someone had tried to close it, but it had warped from the heat of the fire.

He pushed it open, surprised that the interior wasn't gutted as he had expected. The rooms were still intact. He had expected to see the second floor collapsed onto the first, but from what he saw, none of that had taken place. The devastation of the fire was still evident in every room and he knew the house would eventually have to be torn down, the damage was beyond repair.

He looked around the living room at the furniture. What wasn't burned was covered in soot and soaked from the fire hose. He turned to the left, glancing in the office that had been somewhat saved. There was terrible water damage but the desk where they kept personal files of the mortgage and other documents was virtually undamaged.

He glanced up the staircase that was charred. The crème colored paint that had been on the walls was black and peeling off. He took a step up pressing down on the step to see how sturdy it was, keeping on the outside of it. He recalled the smoke that appeared up from this area as he came out of the bedroom with Elie. It rolled across the ceiling and down the hall, wanting to escape out the first opening it could, which was the sliding glass door in the master bedroom that he'd smashed in.

He got about halfway up and stopped, eye level with the hallway and visualizing his escape route once again.

He closed his eyes and turned his head away from it. "Don't," he whispered loudly in a reprimanding tone. "Don't second guess it. You did what you thought was right. You'd make the same choice again and you know it."

He looked back up the staircase and took another step, needing to make this pilgrimage for his own mental well-being. He braced a hand on the wall for balance, not trusting the handrail that was rickety. He pushed down on each step as he made his way up, applauding the builders of the house over their use of strong wood, or the fireman who had managed to distinguish the flames before they had weakened the inner structure.

He was hoping to recover some of their personal belongs, mainly some of Elie's things, hoping that something had survived.

As he made the last step he stopped, looking down the hallway toward he and Michelle's room. It felt surreal to be there, missing the sounds of his two girls as he would announce his arrival home and they would come tearing out of their room and down to this very spot, hugging his legs, walking back with him to their bedroom where he would sit or tuck them in and listen as they talked about their day. It was the best moment of his, hoping someday that excitement would return to Ellen. At the moment she was following her mother's footsteps down that path of depression. That was one of the reasons he'd come to the house that morning, needing to find something to lift her spirits, knowing she'd be easier to appease than his wife.

He focused back on the master bedroom, recalling the happy moments he'd spent in there as well. It had been over a week since they'd spread Elie's ashes but Michelle wasn't adjusting as well as he had hoped. She barely got out of bed and if she did it was only to eat or use the bathroom. She came downstairs more frequently in the beginning, pretending to watch TV with them but he knew it was for show. She wasn't engaged in it, or with them, and after Clair had left a few days earlier, she stopped coming down all together. He wondered if she knew how much it was affecting Ellen. He needed to step in, or step up, he thought, considering his role as husband and father. He missed Elie too, just as much as Michelle, but he'd come away from the waterfall with an inner peace that had sustained him so far from turning in the direction that his wife had. He had a responsibility to Ellen now. She needed him to guide her through this horrible time and it was becoming clear to him that Michelle was going to need the same support. He was alone in his endeavor but felt strong in his heart, carrying with him the support of his deceased daughter, wishing Michelle could find the same comfort as he did when thinking of her, rather than the sadness that was engulfing her.

He avoided the bathroom on the left as he came down the hallway. There was no need to go in there and let his thoughts get the better of him, afraid it would weaken him.

He stood at the girl's bedroom door, glancing inside. It looked as if someone had stood where he was with a flamethrower and torched it. Much of the room was intact but damaged badly, and what wasn't burned was water logged. Puddles still lay in parts of the room where it had dripped down from the attic. There was a hole in the ceiling where the pressure from the fire hose had broken through from the roof. The walls ballooned out in some areas from the heat and from being waterlogged.

He walked over to Ellen's dresser that was in the same spot it always had been. The floor creaked and felt soft to the touch. He stopped in his tracks, fearing it might collapse. He took a step back following his reverse path and took a new route, passing Elie's bed.

He looked down at the spot where he had found her, recalling how she had hidden under it for protection from the fire. In hindsight it had been the smart thing to do, by the time he had got to her the room was filled with smoke. Being low to the ground probably kept her conscious long enough for him to find her. He thought how that move could have very well saved his life. If she had passed out they both would have died that night, knowing he never would have left the house until he had found her.

He remembered Danny telling him that Gracie said she had been right behind them coming down the stairs, that Ellen was afraid but that Elie was more in control not needing to be guided. He wondered then with a heavy heart what it was that prevented her from getting out.

He started to make his way over to Ellen's dresser, not wanting to get sidelined into that way of thinking, knowing just like the bathroom it would only lead to a place he didn't want to go. He took about two steps when he froze, looking back over his shoulder at the bed. A theory dawned on him in that split second of why she had gone back.

He hesitated for just a moment, not sure he wanted an answer to his theory but something pushed him forward as he gripped the bottom of the bed with his left hand, nursing his still broken right one that had a fresh cast on it and the healing burns on his back. He lifted up the frame, struggling with the soaked mattress and flipped it over against the wall on its side.

He stared down at exactly what he had expected to find as tears filled his eyes.

Her doll Susie lay on the floor in the same place where Elie had been hiding. He knew then without a doubt that she'd gone back to rescue her baby, not wanting to leave the house without her, the same as he.

He knelt down and picked up the doll that looked like she'd been rolled in black soot. He didn't care that she too was still damp, holding her close against his chest. His tears escalated over the regretful reason of why Elie didn't get out of the house, but also from the happiness he felt from finding this rare treasure amongst the carnage. She loved this doll he believed as much as he loved her. Susie was never far from her side.

"Oh Elie," he sighed regretfully and sniffed, looking at the doll as he wiped his face off with the collar of his shirt. "I'll take care of her."

He flipped her over, estimating the damage, assured he could wash most of the soot out and if not, he'd have her professionally cleaned until she was back to looking like she used to.

He came out into the hall holding it and some of Ellen's favorite Disney shirts that had been spared in the dresser. They smelled of smoke, but like the doll he'd do what he could to make them look new again.

He ventured just slightly into he and Michelle's room. The fire had taken its toll and left nothing worth salvaging. It pained him that his Navy uniforms with all his medals had perished, as well as Michelle's Expeditionary Medal and the Purple Heart that Clair had given him that belonged to her Uncle.

The baby pictures of the girls he felt assured he could recover, having many of them on his computer at work and Michelle had also posted them on social media sights or sent to friends and family. They could easily be recovered.

He came down the steps and glanced in toward the kitchen, not bothering to explore any further in that direction. The fire seemed to have engulfed that portion of the house. It didn't matter anyway he thought, holding the most precious thing he could have hoped to recover. It was worth the trip that he had almost forgone for fear of coming out dejected and falling under the spell that was consuming his wife and daughter.

Instead he came outside in the early morning sunshine, pleased with what he had found, smiling down at the doll in his hand, placing her securely against his chest once again. "Thank you," he whispered, offering up his gratefulness to the Akua's for this priceless gift. He couldn't wait to get home and show Michelle.

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He entered the front door to silence, just a little after nine in the morning. He wasn't really surprised, both Michelle and Ellen had resorted to sleeping later in the morning rather than the early risers they both used to be, it was one of the changes he saw over the past couple of weeks.

He went upstairs and passed by Ellen's room, seeing her halfway dressed, like she had attempted to get up but had fallen back asleep.

He came in the master bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed, holding the doll.

"Michelle," he said softly, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, wake up, look what I found."

She stirred and opened her eyes but didn't move her body as if she were still too tired to do so. "What is it?" she asked, knowing he went to the house, declining his request to join him.

"Look," he said, holding up the doll. "I found Susie."

She sat up, staring at the ragged mess. "Oh my god," she whispered. "Where did you find her?"

"Under her bed," he grinned, pleased to see some life in her eyes. "She's a little messy but I thought if we washed her a couple of times, she'd be good as new."

She reached out and took the doll from him, stroking her hand over the yarn hair. "She loved her so much. This was her baby."

He could see the sadness creeping back into her expression as her eyes began to well with tears, wanting to divert it. "I found some of Ellen's Disney clothes too that she loves. The house isn't so…

"You found her under Elie's bed?" Michelle questioned him.

"Yes."

She looked up at him, "Isn't that where you found Elie when you went in the house after her?"

"Yes. She was hiding under there. She must have had Susie with her."

She looked at the doll again, "She must have been so scared." She glanced up at him with a slight grin as a tear slid down her face, "She was taking care of her baby."

He nodded, not wanting to mention his theory to her about Elie going back to get her. She seemed happy at the moment over the find and wanted to keep it that way. "Why don't you come downstairs and see if you can get her cleaned up and I'll make some breakfast for you and Ellen."

He stood up and held his hand out to her.

She hesitated at first but took it, crawling out of bed.

She went downstairs as he entered Ellen's room. He opened the curtains and then the window, letting in some fresh air. She stirred slightly and then opened her eyes as he sat down on the bed next to her.

"Good morning sweetie."

She looked up at him with sleepy eyes, "Hi Daddy."

"Guess what?"

"What?" she asked rolling over on her back.

"I went to the old house today and I found some of your Disney shirts. Mom is going to wash them."

Her eyes opened wider as she sat up, "Did you find my toys? Did you find my surf bus?" she asked hopeful.

He shook his head sadly, "No, honey. Your toys weren't in very good condition. I had to leave them there?"

Her shoulders slouched, "Oh."

"I'm sorry." She went to lay back down again when he pulled up on her. "Hey, will you come down and help me make breakfast."

She sighed loudly, "I guess."

"We'll get you some new toys, ok?" He stood up, holding his hand out to her the same as he did Michelle. "Come on, I'm starving. How about french toast and pancakes?"

Ellen took his hand, sliding off the bed. "Both of them?" she asked.

"I might even have a bowl of Captain Crunch too."

She giggled as they left the room. "You're going to get a tummy ache." She looked up at him as they started down the stairs, "Can I have that too?"

"Anything you want. You order it and I'll make it."

"I want chicken nuggets," she declared.

"Chicken nuggets and pancakes and French toast and Captain Crunch?!" he playfully exclaimed and then stopped as if he were contemplating that thought. "Hmm, you know what? I think I want that too."

She jumped up in the air excitedly. "Ice cream too!" She thought she'd give it a shot since he was being so generous.

"How about we have that for lunch," he suggested with a wink.

Ellen ran to the kitchen as they came off the last step. "I'll get the chicken nuggets out Daddy. You make the pancakes and french toast."

He came in the kitchen seeing Michelle in the laundry room, spraying the doll with stain remover just before she put her in the washer and turned it on. He went to the door and leaned against it. "We're having all your favorites for breakfast. I hope you're hungry."

She put her hand on top of the washer as it began to fill with water, feeling the same as he about this gift. "I can't believe you found her."

"I can't either. I was so happy."

"Is the house totally gone?" she asked him.

"We can rebuild. We can even put in that workout room that you wanted, and a shower outside." He tried to make a positive out of their dilemma.

She pictured the fire and smoke as it billowed out of every window and door, wondering if that's all she would see every time she pulled into the driveway. "I'm not sure if I want to rebuild there. Maybe we should sell."

"Maybe," he replied, a little taken back by her proposal but not wanting to get into a discussion about it right then. "We can talk about that." He on the other hand wanted too rebuild on the same foundation. It was their home.

"Come on Daddy," Ellen said from the kitchen, holding a bag of chicken nuggets from the freezer.

He reached over and took her hand, "We'll work it out." He motioned with his head toward Ellen, "My services are being requested. Come in and sit down." He pulled her along to the table and held out a chair, not wanting her to go back upstairs. "Have a seat and breakfast will be ready in no time."

She sat down and he bent over for a kiss, holding his position for just a couple of seconds longer than normal as if she were deciding in that time frame whether or not to give him one. When she finally did, it was quick and she made no eye contact with him, which too was out of the norm, but he let it go, finding a legitimate excuse in his head for the near rejection.

He went by Ellen and took the bag from her. "How about a nugget right in the middle of your pancake?" he suggested.

Her face showed disgust at first and then she quickly changed her mind over the unusual idea that sounded intriguing. "Ok, can I have two nuggets in my pancake?"

"How about a happy face," he laughed.

"Yes!" she jumped. "I want a happy face!" She wrapped her arm around his leg, leaning her head on his hip, it was the first time in a long time that things seemed normal to her.

He smiled down at her, putting a hand on her head. "I love you," he said with a wink.

She squeezed her arm around his thigh, "I love you too, Daddy." She looked over her shoulder at her mother. "I love you too, Mommy."

Michelle forced a small smile for her, "I love you too," she replied quietly.

Steve looked over at her. Her enthusiasm over expressing her love for her daughter was less than desirable, but her mind was on her other daughter, thinking about the doll that she loved so much that had survived the smoke and fire, wishing it were the other way around.

Ellen looked up at her father, "Are you washing my Disney shirts?"

"I will," he promised. "Guess what I found when I was at the house? Susie."

Ellen's eyes got big. "You found Susie?"

Steve nodded, "She's in the washer getting cleaned."

She thought about the rag doll that her sister took everywhere with her. She even had a stroller for her when they went to the mall, and she slept with her every night. She felt bad remembering one night when she had hid her because they were fighting. Elie wouldn't go to bed until she had her, crying over the idea that she was lost. Michelle and she had searched the room and house until Ellen had finally given in and told them she'd hidden her under the mattress. She got in big trouble, but it was then that she realized how much that doll meant to her sister, feeling guilty for it afterward.

"She loved Susie," she said knowingly to her father as if he didn't know. "She talked to her too, like she was a baby."

"I know," Steve smiled. "It was like her real baby."

"She went back up the stairs to find Susie, that's why she got lost, when the fire came," Ellen said innocently.

Steve glanced down at her, stunned that she had come up with the same explanation as he had.

Michelle stood up from the chair, shocked over that revelation. "Didn't she have Susie when Gracie was taking you from the house?"

Ellen looked over at her and shrugged, trying to recall that night, but it had all become fuzzy. It was just a theory that innocently came to her. It had been the topic of discussion by her mother several times, so was fresh in her mind.

"Think!" Michelle practically yelled.

"Hey," Steve scolded her, feeling Ellen twitch over the tone of her Mother's voice.

She looked at her husband. "Oh my god, that's it," she said almost breathless. "Think about it Steve, you found Elie under her bed and that's where you found Susie too, why would she leave Gracie and Ellen and go back upstairs? Why?!" She answered her own question. "She went back up for that doll," her voice quivered over the realization. "Oh my god," she whispered, running her hands over her mouth, gathering them into fists. "She went back for that stupid doll!"

Steve turned around, bracing a hand on Ellen who clung tighter to him as she stared at her mother who had suddenly transformed before her eyes to someone else, someone angry.

"Michelle," he said, gritting his teeth and glaring at her. "Settle down." He motioned his head toward Ellen, letting her know she was scaring her.

"Can't you see it, that's what happened?" she continued.

"Yes!" he replied, "but what difference does it make now?"

"She died because of that stupid, fucking doll!" she yelled going to the laundry room.

Steve peeled Ellen off his leg and followed behind her. "You need to calm down."

She opened up the running washer and reached in, pulling out the soaking wet doll as water ran in streams off of it, holding it up to him. "I hate this thing! I want it gone!"

He grabbed the doll from her, "Knock it off, " he said in a low threatening tone, "You're scaring Ellen."

"She scares me," Michelle replied. "I can't even look at her, all I see is Elie," her voice broke.

He had no reply for the hurtful thing she had just said, more concerned about Ellen, looking over his shoulder to see if she had heard, not knowing if she had or not. He focused back on his wife who refused to make eye contact with him.

She took a step back away from him, even more shocked over her words than her husband was.

He put the doll back in the washer and closed the lid, letting it continue its cycle. "Leave it be," he growled, backing out of the room, shaking his head in both disbelief and anger.

"Come on sweetie," he said to Ellen, holding his hand out to her.

She went to him, staring at her mother who was practically cowering in the laundry room. She grasped his fingers of his cast hand as he led her upstairs and into her room, going to her dresser and pulling out some shorts.

He knelt down in front of her and slipped them on over her feet.

"Are we going someplace?" she asked him, sliding off the bed as he pulled them up and fastened the snaps.

"Yes."

"Where? Where are we going?"

He didn't have a clue, he just wanted her and himself out the house. He'd never been so angry with Michelle, afraid to face her again for fear he'd say something he'd regret later, or worse yet, have a fight in front of Ellen.

"Is Mommy mad at me?" she asked, as he slipped a pair of sneakers on her feet.

"No, honey." He looked up at her and felt his heart breaking over her sad, guilty expression. He put both hands on her shoulders, "Listen to me. Mommy's not mad at you, ok?"

"Then where are we going?"

He hesitated and then thought of a perfect plan. "Toys," he blurted out, and then smiled over his brilliant idea. "We're going shopping for toys."

"We are?" she smiled.

He nodded, "Yep. You and I, we're going to Toy R Us."

Her little hands clapped together excitedly. "What can I get? What kind of toy can I get?"

Her happiness was the only thing he cared about at the moment, "You can get anything you want and as much as you want. We'll replace everything and get some new ones too."

Her mouth came open over such an elaborate plan, trying to process her good fortune.

He stood up, holding his hand out to her. "Lets hit it. And how about we stop at Rainbow Drive-in for breakfast instead of cooking?"

"Ok!" she couldn't hold back her excitement. "Can I get anything I want there too?"

"You know what?" he said to her as they came out of the room, "I think we should call this Ellen day. What ever Ellen wants, Ellen gets. Daddy says so."

She busted out laughing which was music to his ears. He didn't care what it was, if she wanted it he was going to get it for her.

They came down the steps as Michelle stood at the door of the laundry room. She made eye contact with him, but it only lasted seconds. It was he who turned away this time.

"Ellen and I are going out for a while," he said dryly, slipping on a pair of flip-flops that were by the front door.

She came toward him, "You know I didn't mean what I said. It was just…"

"Ellen," Steve said to his daughter, "go outside by my truck. I'll be there in a minute."

"We're going shopping for toys," Ellen told her mother.

"That's great honey," Michelle smiled. She watched as Steve opened the door for her and then waited until she was out of earshot before he closed it just slightly and turned to her.

"I can't believe you said that about her! You think you're the only one going through this!"

"Yes," Michelle fired back. "Sometimes I do. I'm not strong like you Steve," her tone condescending, "I can't just move on as easily as you did. We're not all built like steel where feelings just ricochet off of us. I'm having a little harder time dealing with our daughter's death than you are, so I apologize for that! I'll be sure to work on my grieve timeline so I can go back to being normal again like you and Ellen."

It was a hard slap in the face. She was standing ten feet away from him but he felt the blow as if she had physically done it. "I'm getting Ellen out of this house. She doesn't need this and neither do I." He picked his keys up off the table. "I don't know when we'll be back and I can pretty much guarantee that you don't give a shit anyway. So you can go back to bed now," he said bitterly, "and pull the covers up over your head. Disappear into that fucked up little world you're living in. I'll take care of Ellen." He slammed the door on his way out, making the mirror on the far wall shake.

She stood in the silent room, watching as he helped Ellen in the truck. She hated that he was able to move on while she was still having difficulty even getting out of bed in the morning. The only reason she ate half the time was because of the baby, most times she wasn't even hungry.

She watched them drive away, hearing the washing machine change cycles. Her heart sank, knowing the answer now that had been tormenting her since Elie's death. She remembered the day she had bought that doll. It had been a last minute Christmas gift that she now regretted, wanting to get rid of it. It didn't hold the same precious meaning for her any longer. It angered her even more that Steve had brought it into their home knowing Elie had died trying to rescue it.

' _That stupid doll,_ ' she thought bitterly.

In her fit of anger she stormed over to the laundry room, taking Susie out of the washer once again and went to the backdoor flinging it open. She squeezed the doll in her hand before throwing her outside in the grass.

"If he wants to keep that rag, then he can keep it out there," she said furiously, slamming the door closed.

She felt the baby move, putting her hand over the spot as if trying to comfort the life inside of her that was stirring, thinking that very second of Steve, her emotions flipping from one extreme to another. She stood in the middle of the kitchen alone in the silence, hating it. Hating even more the terrible things she'd said to him and the things she'd said about Ellen. Her hurtful words had forced them to leave the house. He did the right thing, she thought, taking Ellen away.

"You're a horrible person," she whimpered as she covered her face. "You're a horrible mother." She reached out and braced her hand on the counter as she sank down to the floor in tears. "I want my baby," she sobbed. "I just want my baby."

Steve stopped at a stoplight with both hands on the sterling wheel, gripping it tightly as he stared straight ahead, repeating Michelle's words over and over in his head, questioning the peace he'd felt over Elie's death. He loved his daughter with everything he was. He would have died for her, wishing again he had, feeling that peace slowly fade as a rage of guilt took its place. She was right, how could he feel any kind of happiness when his daughter was dead.

That thought shook him up as the grief came flooding back to him.

"Daddy," Ellen said leaning forward in her car seat from the back. "Green means go." She looked back over her shoulder as the car behind them tooted.

Steve stepped on the gas. He understood now Michelle's reason for wanting to crawl under the covers, because he felt every bit of energy he had vanish in that instant. He glanced in the rearview mirror at Ellen, knowing he had to keep going forward for her sake when all he really wanted to do was just go home, go to bed and pull the covers over his head. It frightened him, this tug-of-war of emotions that pulled him in two different directions. He thought he'd come to peace with the crippling grief that his wife was experiencing, even going as far as berating her for it. He cringed over the things he'd said to her. He was supposed to help her, support her, especially now in her condition, instead he did the opposite, ignoring her hurtful words said to him, blaming himself for her lashing out. He remembered her hormones being all over the place when she was pregnant with the girls. He couldn't even imagine what she must be going through now. She was carrying one child and had just lost another.

' _What kind of man are you?'_ he thought shamefully. ' _You put yourself first over your pregnant wife?_ '

He pulled over to the side of the road and stopped, leaning forward with his forehead resting on the steering wheel.

Ellen sat quietly in the backseat looking at him. Even though she couldn't see his face, she knew he was crying. She was used to seeing this behavior on her mother, but had yet to experience it from him since the day they had gone to the waterfall. It was the first time she had ever seen him cry, but everyone was crying that day. She missed her sister too, still not understanding the concept of death and finality of it all. In her dreams Elie was with her every day.

"Daddy," she said quietly, her voice stressing her pity for him. "Are you crying?"

He sat back and looked at her in the rearview mirror. "I'm ok honey." He stared down at his lap. "I'm sorry Ellen. I know this was supposed to be a special day and…" he sighed, hating that he was disappointing her. "I'm sorry."

"We don't have to go get toys if you're sad."

He looked over his shoulder at her, seeing Elie looking back at him with that sweet knowing smile she always carried in her pocket, knowing when he needed it. Ellen held so many of her sister's characteristics, he'd just never noticed it before. Through this entire ordeal, she had been the bravest of all and now here she was, being the understanding one as well.

He couldn't disappoint her like he had Michelle, he wouldn't. He swallowed down the anguish he was feeling and put the truck in gear.

"We're going to buy Candyland while we're there too," he said, "and I'm going to finally beat you at that game."

Ellen let out a small giggle. "Ok."

He glanced at her in the rearview mirror and winked, giving her the impression that all was well. She didn't deserve to see that, he thought remorsefully. He had to try harder. He wasn't caring for his family like he should have. He had to try harder.

They pulled into the parking lot of Rainbow Drive-in, but before getting out he called Michelle.

She didn't hear the phone ringing as she sat on the back step, staring out at the water thinking of Elie for the first time without tears as she held Susie tightly in her arms.


	23. Chapter 24

Steve leaned over the engine of the black Mercury and reached out with the monkey wrench to tighten the new battery cable he'd taken off earlier. He got about halfway when he pulled his hand back and moaned over the pain of the scar tissue on his upper back.

"Shit!" he groaned, moving his body to a more comfortable position that would put less strain on the scars that were almost healed but still scabbing.

He moved over to the worktable and braced his hands on the edge, shifting again, feeling the pain slowly subsiding. This stage of the healing process had proved to be the most challenging. It had been almost four months since the fire and most of the wounds had grown over with new skin, but the deep ones still lingered, needing extra precautions when he moved, so as not to break the wound open. If he could just get through the next couple of weeks he and his doctor both thought he would finally be on the down stages of his recovery. That was a goal he wanted to reach more than just about any one he'd ever set before. He wanted to go back to work in the worse way. He needed a new distraction and his job fit that description to a tee.

He turned around and leaned against the workbench, wiping his hands off on a blue towel that already had remains of black grease from the countless other times he had performed the ritual. The garage was his new hiding place. He didn't necessarily feel content there, but it was peaceful and kept his mind occupied. If he wasn't there then he was at the new house, watching the re-build, convincing himself and Michelle that he had to be there, but most times he just sat down by the beach or in his truck. She didn't argue his absence, nor did he question her lack of caring.

They had both come to terms with each others grieving method, but in the process they had lost something in their marriage, communication. It's not that he was angry with her, nor did she act that way toward him, it was just easier if they didn't talk about it. All that did was open the door to more pain and guilt, and they were exhausted from both.

So on the contrary he hid in the garage and at the construction site, while Michelle hid her nose in countless books and used any other spare time to decorate the new house, picking out paint colors, carpet colors, countertop designs, faucets…the list went on and on, which was a blessing for her. She lost the argument of selling the property, having been promised the new house would look nothing like the old one. That was the first subject brought up to the architect and he was true to his word that it wouldn't be. Even the driveway was torn up to make room for the new entry way from Diamond Head road.

Ellen on the other hand was profiting by her parents behavior. They took turns taking her places, rewarding her for nothing more than being alive and for putting up with their behavior. In the meantime she'd learned to play the both of them like a fiddle, moving from one parent to the other, working them perfectly to get what she wanted.

He looked over at Susie who sat on a shelf across the way. He kept her in the garage with him after realizing there would be no home for her in their current one. Michelle had washed her once more after the day he'd brought her home, but she was left in a basket for three days before he finally took her out and set her up on the shelf in the garage for safe keeping. It bothered him at first that Michelle had never even commented on the disappearance or the whereabouts of it, he felt that maybe she was relieved that he had taken the initiative to keep it out of sight.

She knew the dolls whereabouts after coming in the garage a couple of weeks later to put something away. She stopped and stared at it for a few seconds before looking over at him; her expression a little taken back but neither surprised nor angered by it's presence. She knew he needed this just as he knew she didn't want to see it everyday. She left without saying a word.

That was three months ago and since then the silence had reached a peak in their relationship. He couldn't remember the last time they had a serious conversation about Elie. They kept their discussions informal and on everyday events such as the new house, the new baby or Ellen, but even the small talk couldn't fill the void that was growing between them.

Steve heard the door open from the house and saw Ellen peek her head inside.

"Daddy," she yelled, not seeing him but knowing he would be in there.

"Right here, Ellen," he replied, moving so she could see him.

"Mommy is on the phone, will you make me som'em to eat?"

He tossed the rag on the counter, "Sure honey."

He followed her into the kitchen as she opened the freezer door, taking out a box of waffles. "I want this."

"That's for breakfast. How about peanut butter and jelly?" He opened the cupboard above his head taking down the jar of peanut butter.

"Noooo," she whined. "I don't want that."

"You're not having frozen waffles either. So peanut butter and jelly or turkey, pick one?"

She put her arm around his leg, looking up at him. "Please Daddy, can I have waffles? I won't ask you for anything else ever again and I won't go in the garage anymore and ask you stuff."

He put a hand on her head, stroking it over her hair that was growing longer. "I don't care if you come in the garage. You don't bother me, Ellen, ever."

She rested her head on his hip, "Can't I please have waffles?"

He nodded, feeling guilty over her garage comment, deciding from then on he'd leave the door open so she knew she was invited in. "Ok," he caved, "just this one time."

She smiled brightly; having no doubt that she was going to get waffles for lunch.

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Michelle set the main course of pork chops in the center of the table as Steve reached over and pulled Ellen's chair in closer. He put a piece of meat on her plate and cut it in half, taking the larger portion and setting it on his plate. He stabbed another one off the main dish and set it next to his other half. He dished himself up some potatoes as Michelle scooped up some corn on Ellen's plate and then for herself. She passed Steve the bowl as he slapped a pile of mashed potatoes on Ellen's and then switched bowls with Michelle. Once all their plates were full they proceeded to eat. The meal lasted ten minutes and not one word was spoken except for the TV that blasted out a cartoon from the Disney channel that Ellen kept her attention on while she ate.

Michelle stood up with her plate and stacked it on top of Ellen's, carrying them both to the sink.

Steve followed behind her with some more dishes, moving up next to her as she began to fill the dishwasher. They worked in unison as he rinsed and she loaded.

"I'm going to run up to the auto parts store to get an oil filter for the Mercury," he informed her. "Do you need anything while I'm out?"

She shook her head, "No, but thank you for asking."

He glanced over at her reply that sounded a little too formal, as if she were speaking to a stranger. He almost replied just as cordially with ' _You're very welcome, ma'am, anytime_ ,' but felt the sarcasm was unjust at the moment. Instead his replied with his staple answer, nothing.

He walked out to the family room. "Ellen, do you want to come with me to the store?"

"No," she replied not taking her eyes away from the TV. "A Christmas cartoon is going to be on."

He dreaded that word 'Christmas'. They had sailed through Thanksgiving as if it were just another Thursday. Ellen didn't know the difference and after just having to deal with Halloween, neither Steve nor Michelle verbally broached the subject of celebrating the holiday, they just declined invitations and neither woke up that Thursday and treated it any different than the week before. If they didn't celebrate it, then there was no need to refer to it as the first holiday without Elie. It was easier to just ignore it and let it go by.

Christmas on the other hand couldn't be ignored and wouldn't be, for Ellen's sake.

"Are we going to get a Christmas tree soon?" she asked her father, finally finding something of interest to turn in his direction.

He glanced over at Michelle in the kitchen whose expression turned sullen as much as his over the idea of acknowledging this major holiday that was mostly directed at children. She didn't answer so he replied for the both of them.

"Yes, we'll get one this weekend, ok?"

"Ok." She focused back on the TV as he watched his wife turn away from him, knowing she didn't want one anymore than he did, but again, it was for Ellen.

* * *

Steve stood in the isle of the auto parts store, looking over oil filters when he heard his name.

"Steve!"

He looked to his right seeing Ben approaching him with a wide grin.

"Hey Ben, how you doing?" he stretched his right hand out, greeting him with the same enthusiasm.

"Pretty good," he replied, grasping his hand as they leaned into each other for a quick hug. He knew the wounds on his back were still healing so he forwent the customary embrace as they bumped shoulders. As he stepped back he got a closer look at his friend. It was Steve, but what concerned him more than the wounds was his appearance. He looked tired and worn down, gone was the life in his eyes that oozed with confidence and charisma. What he saw now were the ruins of someone who had been battling with the death of a child. He felt a stab of guilt for not being more assertive when reaching out to him over the past couple of months.

"Are you back to work yet?" he asked him.

Steve shook his head, "No, not for maybe a couple more weeks."

"We need to get the bikes out soon."

Steve raised an eyebrow over that idea. "I would love that. It's one of the few things in the fire that was saved because you guys put it in the shed rather than the garage. I'm glad I kept the Mercury at the rental house." He motioned to the oil filters. "Keeps me occupied these days."

Ben nodded, remembering the day fondly that he delivered the new dirt bike to Michelle, it was the same day as the fire and also the last time he ever saw Elie alive. The pain he felt over that gave him a glimpse into the world of what his friend must have been going through, being her father.

"I saw the new house going up. It's looks bigger than the last one."

"A little, it's just different. Michelle didn't want it to look like the other one at all."

He nodded his understanding, "How's she doing?"

Steve shrugged, unable to hide the disappointment over their home life. "She's ok I guess. You know…day by day."

"I've called a couple of times…"

"I know," Steve quickly apologized, "I'm sorry about that Ben."

He held a hand up, not wanting an apology from Steve but wanting to give him an invitation instead. "Hey, no need for that and you know it. I was just calling to see if you wanted to get together for a beer."

He wished now he had called him back. He needed that in the worst way. "I'd like that. I'll call you and we'll meet up some night soon."

Ben reached his hand out as Steve grasped it again, "It was good seeing you buddy. I'll expect that call."

They made eye contact as Steve replied almost regretfully over the end of the greeting. "Ok, I'll see you Ben."

He smiled at his friend and turned to leave, he got a couple of steps and stopped, feeling something pulling him back. He turned around to him, "Hey Steve, how about that beer right now? Or do you have to get home?"

He took all of about two seconds to make that decision, "No. I'm good to go."

Ben pointed over his shoulder in no particular direction. "How about JJ's?"

"Ok," he replied with a grin, "Let me grab an oil filter and I'll meet you over there in about ten minutes."

* * *

He entered JJ's pub and glanced around, seeing Ben in a corner booth waving him over, two Longboard beers were already sitting on the table.

He slid in across from him, picking up the beer. "I needed this," he said, taping it against Ben's.

They both took a drink as Ben sat back, looking him over again, deciding on the way to the bar that he wasn't going to pretend that he didn't notice Steve's appearance. "You look like shit," he blurted out.

Steve chuckled but when Ben continued to stare at him without flinching over the comment, he knew he was being sincere. The smile faded from Steve's face as he looked back at his friend. "It's been a hard couple of months," he replied mournfully.

"You should have called me. Do you talk to Danny about it?"

Steve huffed, "I haven't talked to Danny in almost three weeks, and that was only because I tried to get a release from the doctor to go back to work, but they denied it."

"What do mean you haven't talked to him?" he asked, confused over that statement. "He doesn't call you?"

Steve shrugged, "No, I called him a couple of times, but he kind of cut things short. He tried to make it sound like he was busy, but…" he took another drink of his beer. "I don't know…maybe he really is." He tried to defend him but he didn't believe his excuses, and neither did Ben. Neither one could understand the distance Danny had put between them. He toyed with the bottle in his hand before looking back up at him. "Can I ask you something, Ben?"

"Sure."

He stared at the beer in his hand almost afraid to ask. "If it makes you uncomfortable then you can just say no," he looked across at him, "I'll understand."

Ben leaned forward resting his arms on the table, wondering what it could be that had him apologetic before the question was even asked. "Ok, what is it?"

He needed this more than the beer or the company. "Can we talk about Elie? Michelle doesn't like too and…" he let out a deep sigh. "I miss her, and there's no one to talk to about her." He held his breath waiting for his reply.

He was floored by the question, not expecting it in the least.

"It's ok," Steve apologized, seeing the expression on his face and dreading that hesitation from him. "I shouldn't have said that." He took a long drink of his beer.

Of all the things he could have asked, Ben was pleased he was able to deliver on his word. "You know what I remember most about Elie," he began with a grin, picturing the little girl, "she was the type of kid that was always gracious. You know what I mean? She was only four but every time I saw her, she always gave me a hug and somehow that little hug always made me feel special."

Steve smiled and nodded, "I know what you mean. I know exactly what you mean. She was like a mother to everyone."

Ben laughed and nodded because he hit the nail on the head. "She was! That last day I saw her, I was helping Michelle unload the bike and Elie insisted that I have a glass of lemonade. She ran in the house and even poured it herself." He smiled brightly. "She was the sweetest thing." He looked across at him. "She was an amazing kid, Steve."

He couldn't remember the last time he felt this good, let alone smile. "I remember this one time," he chuckled. "I came home from work late and there was a note from her that Michelle had written, saying that Elie had made me dinner." He smiled across at Ben, "You have to understand that she was very concerned with my eating habits," they both chuckled. "Anyway, they were all in bed already and I went to the refrigerator there was a bowl of noodles drenched in about an inch of olive oil and two inches of parmesan cheese sprinkled on top of it and a peanut butter and turkey sandwich in plastic wrap next to it."

"Oh my god," Ben laughed, making a disgusted face. "What did you do? Did you eat it?" he asked cringing over the thought.

"Well, I wasn't going to, and then I heard this little voice next to me and looked down seeing Elie standing there all proud as she told me she had made me dinner all by herself." He recalled that night like it was yesterday. "We sat down at the counter together and just talked while I ate my dinner, every last noodle and every crumb of that sandwich." He smiled over the memory. "And I'll tell you what, that was the best meal I've ever had."

"Five star dinner," Ben agreed, understanding fully now why he ate it.

"I miss her," Steve said sincerely as his smile slowly faded. "I dread Christmas." He huffed, "I dread going home." He looked sheepishly over at Ben, wishing he wouldn't have said that.

Ben caught on to his uneasiness. "Whatever you say Steve, it's between you and me?"

"I appreciate that, Ben." He tipped his half empty bottle back and forth as he stared at it. "Michelle's not recovering from this very well. I walk around on eggshells because of her pregnancy. I don't want to upset her, but at the same time I just want to shake her. My mood, Ellen's mood, it all revolves around Michelle. I can't remember the last time we laughed, or even talked about anything besides the new house or dinner or the countless other bullshit things that stand in the way of what we really need to talk about."

"Like Elie?" Ben asked.

"Like Elie," he agreed somberly.

"Have you guys tried maybe therapy?" he asked, trying to offer up suggestions to alleviate his friend's obvious torment. "It might help."

Steve shook his head, "She won't go. She's more stubborn than I am." He spoke in a tough guy voice, imitating her words. "I don't need any help. We lost a child, aren't we supposed to feel sad? Aren't I allowed to grieve?" He huffed, "How are you supposed to argue with that?"

"I don't know. I'm really sorry though." He leaned forward resting his arms on the table. "You guys are a strong couple though. Michelle is strong. I think she'll pull through this. Maybe she does need time. I'm not saying that you are wrong for needing to move on, but maybe she just needs a little more time. People grieve differently."

Steve looked over at him, hearing him and taking that into consideration. "I appreciate you listening to me, Ben."

"Hey," he replied adamantly, "I'm here for a beer anytime you need it. I can't say my advice is correct or the most sound, but I can listen."

"Thanks, Ben."

He drove home feeling a little less stressed over their situation. Maybe Ben was right, he thought. Maybe she did need some more time. They loved and lost the same person. It was difficult getting used to life without Elie, but he was. He hated it but the old cliché of 'life goes on' played a part in it. He just had to be more patient and wait for Michelle to catch up.

He missed his beautiful wife who made him laugh but more often than that just made him smile. They hadn't done either of those in a long time, let alone make love. The last time had been their anniversary, the night of the fire. He didn't miss the sex as much as he missed that closeness with her. It was a bond that had always sustained them even through the toughest of times. When she had come back from Jordan, even after all she had gone through, it was that bond that eventually carried them through the ordeal and put them back on the right path.

After arguments and fights, make up sex was always the most gratifying, making them both appreciate what they had in each other. He missed that bond and that feeling of security that went along with it.

He pulled in the driveway and looked at the house where they had lived after they were first married and where they had brought the twins home from the hospital, and where they would eventually retire someday. At the moment the home was filled with sadness and the never-ending grief that had consumed them all. But he felt strongly that if they could just re-create that bond, that somehow it would magically make everything all better, just like it always had.

He came inside and knew they were already in bed. Ellen was a strict eight thirty and Michelle generally followed suit while he tinkered in the garage, but not tonight. Tonight he was going to bed with his wife.

She was just coming out of the bathroom heading toward the bed as he came in their room.

"Hi," he smiled.

She acknowledged him with a slight grin, "How is Ben?" she asked, having read his text that he was meeting him for a beer. She was actually relieved that he was going to be gone, hoping she could slip into bed before he got home. He never came to bed with her anymore, mainly because she went too early. She did it on purpose, not wanting to be forced into a conversation about Elie that she didn't want to have.

"He's good. He said to say hi." He focused on her belly as she got into bed, which seemed to have grown overnight, or maybe he just hadn't paid enough attention to it, or her.

"Will you please turn the light off on your way out," she asked as she pulled the covers up, lying on her side with her back to him.

He did as she asked but crawled in next to her, still fully dressed. He moved up against her as she looked over her shoulder at his attempt to snuggle with her.

"How's our baby doing," he asked, putting his arm over her and gently stroking her belly.

"Fine," she sighed.

He moved his touch up to her shoulder, kissing the base of her neck. "And how's my baby doing?" he whispered to her.

She looked over at him again, almost annoyed by his attention. "You smell like beer," she said to him.

"You used to like it when I came home from being with the boys and smelled like the bar. He kissed her ear.

That was true, she did like that smell on him for some reason or another, but tonight it was just the opposite, or maybe it was just him. "Steve," she said brushing him away, "stop."

"Why?" he replied, running his hand down her body. "I think we need this, Michelle."

"I think you're drunk."

"No I'm not. I'm in love with my wife." He sat up on his elbow, pulling on her shoulder so she would roll over on her back.

She reluctantly agreed, looking up at him. "How can you even think of sex right now?" she asked.

"I'm not thinking about sex. I'm thinking about you." He touched her face, running his fingertips over her lips. "I miss you." He leaned down to kiss her when she turned her head just enough to ward off the attempt.

"I can't Steve," she whispered mournfully.

"It'll make things better," he tried to tell her. "I want you to be happy again."

She rolled over away from him, fuming over his ridiculous notion. "I can't believe you think that if we have sex that somehow magically our lives will be back to normal again. I can't believe you even want to!"

"We need to move on and get over this wall that's keeping us apart, Michelle." He pleaded with her, "Please, I really think this will help. You told me once that if all else failed the one thing that could always keep us together was the respect we had for our marriage. This isn't the marriage that we agreed to, this is two people just living in the same house. We don't even talk anymore."

She remembered saying that to him, but it was a different time, under grossly different circumstances. "I can't, Steve," she shuttered at the thought. "I think it's selfish of you to expect this of me."

"Selfish?" he huffed. "I've done nothing but bend over backwards over the last couple of months trying to work around your moods, your depression, your lack of commitment to this marriage."

"What?" she said, rolling back over, "do you feel you should be rewarded with sex now? Fine, let's just do it and get it over with but I can guarantee you it's not going to make Elie's death just vanish for me."

He sat up with his back to her; feeling like she'd just stabbed a knife into it. "That's right," he said sarcastically, "you owe me Michelle. You owe me a good lay." He stood up and walked out of the room. "You're right I must be drunk, because I was out of my mind to come up here."

She heard him go downstairs and slam the door to the garage.

She cringed over the argument, wishing she hadn't said those things to him, but also angry with him for using their marriage as an excuse for her to overcome her grief. What did he want from her, she thought resentfully. What was she supposed to do?

Steve picked up a wrench off the worktable and slammed it hard in the same spot. He dropped it taking in a deep calculated breath and leaned back against the table, crossing his arms stubbornly, staring at the ground. "Reward me," he huffed, "yea that's right Michelle, I deserve to get laid, because that's the type of husband I am," he mumbled bitterly, "selfish and self serving." He'd never felt that type of rejection from her before; regretting now his feeble attempt to try and rectify his marriage, all it did was make him feel even more apprehensive and more than that the rejection struck a blow to his already weakened ego.

He looked up hearing the door open.

Michelle came a couple of steps inside, stopping once she got a visual of him. She knew she had wounded him and that he deserved an apology for it. "I'm sorry."

He wanted to ask her for what, what was she apologizing for? Accusing him of being selfish, or for accusing him of using sex as a way to try and manipulate her feelings? Or was she sorry for rejecting him and making him feel foolish for even trying. He was pretty sure it wasn't the last one.

"I don't know what you want from me, Steve."

He shook his head, "Nothing, I don't want anything," he lied. "I shouldn't have laid all that on you tonight." He looked down and away from her, not able to face her, his anger and bitterness growing, afraid he'd lash out at her.

"I'm doing the best I can. I wish you'd understand that."

He nodded, "I know."

She didn't feel he was being sincere in his replies, knowing him well enough to know when he was just being cooperative. "Steve," she asked, "please look at me?"

He hesitated but then did as she requested, looking upon her with different eyes. "I'm doing the best that I can too, Michelle. Don't you understand that?"

"Yes, but I don't put the same pressure on you that you have been putting on me."

"When do I put pressure you?"

"I feel like it's there all the time."

"How would you know anything?" he lashed out. "You don't even look at me half the time. You certainly don't talk to me. So where is all this imaginary pressure coming from?"

"I let you have your space," she motioned to the garage, "why can't you let me have mine?"

She didn't say it but he heard her loud and clear, she simply didn't want him around. He took a step toward her, pointing to the door. "Get out!"

"Steve," she startled over the anger in his voice.

"Get out!" he shouted. "I'm fucking done with this! You can have your space and you won't have to worry about me invading it anymore! Now get out of mine!"

"You don't understand what I'm feeling!" she yelled back.

"Of course not, Michelle," he replied sarcastically, "How could I possibly understand what you're going through!"

His anger was reaching a high he'd never experienced with her before. He took her words and put them together with her actions over the last four months, coming up with the only conclusion he could see that fit the mold.

"It would have been so much easier for you if it just would have been me that died in that fire, wouldn't it?" he yelled, slapping his hand on his chest. "Is that what you're trying to tell me?! Would it make it easier for you if I just disappeared?!" He took another step closer to her, blinded by a rage that was engulfing him. It was four months of built up anger that was begging to get out.

She stared at him in shock, never seeing him lose control. His eyes were dark and for the first time since knowing him, she was afraid.

"Say it!" he gritted his teeth, glaring at her. "Just fucking say it!"

She shook her head, "What do you want me to say?"

He stood his ground feeling his body trembling over his anger. "That you wish it was me instead of Elie."

She felt tears sting her eyes. "I'll never say that," she cried.

He didn't need to hear it; he felt the evidence was already there. "Get…out!" he growled.

"Steve," she whimpered.

"Get out!" He grabbed the hammer that was sitting on the table next to him and hit it against the driver's side window of the Mercury, shattering it as he stared at her. "Get out!" he screamed, needing to physically vent his anger over this newly discovered threat from the one person in his life that he actually would die for.

She stepped back, clasping her hands over her mouth as he hit again and again, tearing into the vehicle, smashing windows and denting the roof with repeated blows that were filled a madness and fury unlike anything she'd ever seen from anyone, let alone her husband.

She turned and ran out the door, closing it behind her still hearing his words, shouting for her to get out. She stood in the middle of the kitchen, frightened, but not so much for herself as she was for him. His presence of mind was shocking to her. He was wrong. She never thought that about him, nor would she ever. But trying to tell him that now was impossible. Her heart pounded mercilessly as tears poured from her eyes hearing his anguish over what he believed was true.

He slammed the hammer into the back window over and over until it broke. He moved to the trunk, hitting it two more time before he physically couldn't do it anymore, throwing it across the room.

His heart was pounding as he tried to catch his breath, feeling himself hyperventilating. He held on to the side of the car with one hand while he went down to his knees, feeling completely and utterly weak. He came to rest with his body leaning against the side of the car. Blood spots showed through the back of his shirt where he'd aggravated his nearly heeled wounds, but he didn't feel the discomfort from it.

The anger was gone as quickly as it had arrived, leaving him with nothing but a deep bedded sorrow, wondering where they could possibly go from here.


	24. Chapter 25

**Note from Author:** _My sincere apologies for not only the long delay in updating, but for this short chapter._ _BUT, I have a good excuse…_

 _I was Mt. biking last week and broke my arm. It's kind of hard to type one handed and even more so to think on meds._ _I'm finishing up the final chapter and will hopefully have it done sooner rather than later…._

 _As always THANKS for reading!_

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Michelle came in the bedroom to find Steve but instead heard the shower running in the bathroom. She thought this would be the perfect opportunity to confront him on the argument that had taken place in the garage. It had been three days and he'd done just about everything in his power to avoid her, even going as far as keeping Ellen close to him so the subject couldn't be broached. But she finally had him cornered.

She opened the bathroom door and could see him leaning forward under the showerhead rinsing his hair off.

"Steve, I want to talk to you," she said, closing the door behind her. She could almost instantly feel the heat from the steam.

"Not know, Michelle," he replied dryly, looking at her image through the etched glass doors.

"Yes, now," she argued, "right now."

He turned the shower off and she reached out, holding the door closed. "You are going to stay right there and listen to me!" she demanded.

He pushed the handle to get out and when it wouldn't budge he shoved harder, realizing then she was holding it. "What are you doing? Let me out, Michelle."

"No! You stand there and listen. I know you're angry with me, but you have got to believe me Steve that what you said in the garage the other night is wrong. It's wrong on so many levels I can't even count them."

"Michelle!" he pushed again, wanting to get away from this conversation.

"I love you." She held firm her position, "I love you and would never, ever wish you to be dead. Please forgive me. Forgive me Steve for ignoring the signs that could lead you to such a horrible thought. I'm so sorry, Steve," she begged, "I'm so sorry."

She felt the resistance of the handle subside as he let go. She opened the door and looked at him as the water dripped from his hair down over his face. He looked back at her for the first time since that night.

"We may be going through a rough patch right now," she said to him, "but what you said to me was wrong. I've never thought that, Steve. I love you."

Her voice was sincere, almost as if she were pleading with him to believe her, which he did, now. He wiped his hand over his wet hair and sighed. "I just don't know what to expect from you lately. I just don't know."

"Tell me you believe me," she asked, needing to know that those thoughts were put to rest. "Tell me that you really believe that I don't think that way about you."

For the first time in a long time he saw his wife in the woman standing before him. "I believe you," he replied earnestly.

She stepped inside the shower with him and put her arms around his wet body, resting her head on his shoulder, hugging him the best she could with her swollen belly between them. "I love you."

He put his arms around her, feeling that euphoric emotion that had been eluding him for months over their lack of physical contact. "I love you too."

He let out a small chuckle and Michelle leaned back and looked up at him. "What's so funny?"

He smiled down at her, seeing that natural beauty radiating off of her face that was flushed from the steam. "I just became very aware that I'm standing here naked."

She glanced down his body and then grinned at him, "Yes you are."

He put his hand on her face that had tiny drops of perspiration, leaving a trail where his fingertips glided down her cheek. "I'm sorry I upset you with that temper tantrum in the garage."

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way. "

He felt an inner truce between them, hoping this could be the beginning of breaking down that barrier that had come between them. He slid his hand behind her neck and kissed her, feeling the warmth and familiarity of it, but even more so he was thrilled that she reciprocated the gesture.

She didn't know how much she had missed him until he kissed her. She reached up, partaking of it with the same enthusiasm as he. Her emotions as well as her hormones accelerated; suppressing the pain had been consuming her. He was right she thought, they did need this, feeling horrible now for turning him away the night he'd come to her.

They broke apart and looked at each, both feeling the same urge to consummate this marriage that had been stale for far too long.

"Let's go lay down," she said to him with a sexy grin, running her hand down his body and feeling his want for her, pleasantly pleased that he was on the same page as she was.

He nodded in complete agreement as tiny electric shocks soared through his body as she stroked him. God, he missed her.

She kissed him once more before taking his hand, leading him out of the shower and into the bedroom.

"Where's Ellen," he asked, hoping she was occupied.

"Taking a nap," she answered, grinning at him over her shoulder.

As they approached the bed he took ahold of the bottom of her billowy maternity shirt and lifted it over her head., undoing the back of her bra as she slid off her shorts and panties, matching his attire. She sat down on the bed and scooted back as he crawled up with her, keeping eye contact as they lay down together. He didn't hesitate, going directly to her lips, needing another nourishing kiss that was fueling his fire.

She was careful of his healing wounds, running her hands over his lower back, caressing his buttocks as he broke from the kiss not able to hold back anymore.

He laid her on her right side, knowing their favorite missionary position was going to be awkward with the baby, but even on her side he'd still be able to see her beautiful face. She helped the cause by working with him as he pulled her in closer against his chest. She opened her legs allowing him to enter her from behind; laying her left thigh on top of his once he was positioned

"Oh, Steve," she gasped and moaned, arching her back and pushing her body into him as he did the same.

He rose up and leaned over her as she tilted her head back, reaching up and cupping the back of his neck, pulling him down as he kissed her.

She'd never felt so good to him before, not even the day they'd made love on the boat after being separated for four years. He thought nothing could top that, but here she was again, exceeding his expectations.

He kissed her neck, moving down to her shoulder, getting lost in the ecstasy and feel of her, coming to the selfish realization that it wasn't just this bond that he missed with her, he did miss the sex. His hand moved over her breasts that were engorged from being pregnant, but still perfect to the touch.

"You feel so good," he whispered in her ear before taking a nibble of it with his teeth.

She giggled and then moaned as he gripped her waist and pushed deeper into her over and over again, knowing his wife and her body, and knowing precisely how to make her feel what he was.

She wasn't thinking about anything at the moment except for him and how incredible he felt. She looked over her shoulder, making eye contact with him as his pace slowed to a tender rhythm. She reached back and stroked his damp cheek, "I love you so much. I missed you." She saw right away the result of her words in his heartfelt expression.

"I missed you too. I missed this. I missed us."

She laid her head back against his shoulder and closed her eyes, feeling that bond they shared as he made love to her.

His pace increased, not able to hold back much longer, it had been far too long and he could tell already by the build up that it was going to be staggering.

Michelle gripped the back of his neck as his hand moved down between her legs, refusing to leave her behind. She succumbed to it within seconds of his gentle touch, feeling that wonderful sensation move through her.

As if he wasn't close enough just from the feel of her, the sounds of her climaxing brought him to the edge and pushed him over.

She had forgotten how much she had missed that sound as well, hearing her name said in such a sweet and charismatic way as he released inside of her.

They lay still for a moment, letting their bodies relax and come down from the heightened pleasure.

Steve reached down and pulled the sheets over top of them, laying his hand on her belly, slowly caressing it. She put hers over top of it, moving with him.

"Soon," she said in a quiet, content voice, "and we'll have another roommate."

She looked back at him as he smiled, giving her a kiss. "Boy or girl?" he asked, knowing she knew no more than he did the sex of the baby.

"Boy," she replied and hoped. "I would like a boy."

He nodded in agreement, not revealing that he had secretly been praying for a boy. It frightened him what a little girl would do to her emotionally.

"A girl would be nice too," she said, as if reading his mind. "I'm going to try harder, Steve. I know what losing Elie has done to this family. I've said things that I'm not very proud of out of anger and depression, but the other day when you said that to me…" she rolled over so she could see him. "I saw in your eyes that you believed it. It was the scariest thing I think I've ever witnessed. It was a good hard slap of reality that I needed to wake me up."

"I want to talk about Elie, Michelle. I miss her so much, and I want to be able to say her name and not have to worry about it being a bad thing."

She nodded as tears filled her eyes, "I know, Steve, me too." She snuggled closer to him, finding that security in his embrace that would comfort and help her through whatever she needed to overcome, angry with herself for not utilizing it sooner, knowing it was there all along.

"Maybe after the baby is born," he said, "you and I could go away for a of couple nights. Maybe Maui or Lanai."

"I'd like that."

"We could even take the baby with us and leave Ellen with maybe Danny and Gracie. Although," he huffed, "I think he might be pissed at me about something, he's been avoiding me lately like the plague."

Michelle moved away from him. "He has?" She felt a whole new wave of guilt

"Yes, and I don't know why."

She rolled over on her back putting her hands on her belly and caressing it, staring up at the ceiling. "I have to tell you something."

"What?" he asked nervously, wondering if she knew the reason for the cold-shoulder?

She looked over at him, biting her bottom lip.

Steve sat up looking down at her, "What happened?"

She let out a heavy sigh before she let it spill. "A couple of weeks ago I was at the mall Christmas shopping and ran into Danny and Gracie." She sighed again looking up toward the ceiling.

"And…" he encouraged her, knowing now she did have something to do with it.

"We stopped and we were talking, you know the kind of uncomfortable chit chat when you know there is a huge issue both of you are trying to avoid." She looked at him, seeing the concern on his face over her hesitation of what she was about to say.

"Why would you feel that way with Danny and Gracie of all people?"

"I was having an especially bad day. I knew I had to be there for Ellen but it was difficult not buying presents for both girls. I was feeling really low…"

"Michelle," he interrupted her, "what happened?"  
She felt a little sick to her stomach as she explained, "Gracie asked how Ellen was doing. I told her she was getting along, ok, and she asked if she could come by one day and take her to the park or go swimming with her? I think she was asking because she was feeling me out, you know, to see how I would respond, whether I would allow something so innocent that a couple of months ago I wouldn't have even blinked an eye at."

Steve felt a knot well up in his stomach over where this story was headed. "What was your response?"

She put her hand over her mouth as tears formed in her eyes, "I was having a really bad day, Steve."

"Oh god, Michelle," he cringed, "what did you say to her?"

"I didn't say anything. I said I had to go and just walked off." She wiped a tear that began to gather in the corner of her eye. "I just left her standing there with no response to her question."

Steve looked at her firmly, "Please tell me you don't blame Gracie for what happened? You can't possibly!"

"No! No, of course not. I just froze and as I was walking away I knew how bad it was, but I just kept going. For days I wanted to call her, but I didn't know what to say, and the longer it went on the harder it became to call."

Steve collapsed on his side, running his hand roughly over his still damp hair, "Now I get it. Now I know why the cold-shoulder." He looked at her irritably, "How could you do that to her? She's just a kid."

"I know it was bad, but…"

"But nothing!" He sat up on the edge of the bed. "I don't understand you!" He tried to hold back his anger over the situation, but was finding it difficult. The Michelle he knew and loved would have never done anything like this.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry! How can you be sorry?!" He stood up and went to the dresser, forcibly pulling open the top drawer for a pair of sweats. "You've let it go on for this long knowing it must be tearing her up inside! I mean what the hell, Michelle!" He slammed the drawer closed, shaking the dresser so hard the pictures on the top fell over.

"Stop yelling at me!" she shouted at him.

"Maybe you need to be yelled at!" he hollered, slipping the black sweats on and tying the string around the waist. "It's the only thing that seems to open your eyes and wake you up!"

She got up on the other side of the bed, wrapping the sheet around her body. "So much for the last half hour!"

"Danny is my partner, my best friend, and you know how I feel about Gracie." He turned sharply, staring at her, "How do you expect me to respond after hearing that?"

"Exactly as you are," she stomped across the floor. "I know I've made some bad decisions, I'm trying to rectify them, ok?! I don't need you jumping down my throat reminding me what a terrible person, friend and mother I've been lately!" She went in the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

He heard the lock click but didn't care, he was too mad at the moment. He stormed out the door and stopped in his tracks, seeing Ellen standing at her bedroom door holding a small blanket up to her face, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"What's wrong, Ellen."

She backed away as he went toward her, going in her room and closing the door.

He opened it as she crawled back into her bed, lying face down.

"Honey, what's the matter?" He sat down on the bed next to her, putting a gentle hand on her back.

"You're always yelling at Mommy," she sobbed. "You never yelled before and now you yell a lot. It sounds mean and hurts my ears."

He wasn't prepared for that response by a long shot. "I don't yell a lot," he defended in a calm voice.

"Yes you do!" she cried, lifting her head off her arm just long enough to give him a stern look. "You yelled at Mommy in the garage too, really loud." She dropped her head back down. "It sounded scary."

He had no idea she had heard them that night. He couldn't argue with her logic either, it was true, he had yelled at Michelle a lot over the past couple of days, and if he wasn't yelling at her he was avoiding her. He just never dreamt that Ellen would fall victim to it.

He dropped his head in his hands and then ran them up and over his hair, clasping them behind his neck as he looked down somberly at his daughter. She'd been through so much already. He remembered sitting in this very spot not long ago, promising her happiness. He'd neglected to follow through with it. It was the first time he'd ever broken a promise to her.

"I'm sorry, Ellen." He put his hand on her small back, "I'm sorry for yelling. Sometimes Mommy's and Daddy's get angry and they yell. I know you don't understand but I'm sorry if it scared you."

She rolled over looking up at him as she wiped her hand under her nose, "You never yelled when Ellie was here. If she was here she'd say you never yelled either."

He had no reply to that, because she was right. He never raised his voice in anger to either of the girls, nor did he ever to Michelle. They had arguments but they were civilized and never amounted to anything that had even come close to what had raged between them over the past couple of days.

Michelle had come to him practically begging forgiveness for all her wrongdoing. He'd made love to her, and lay next to her, feeling the baby growing inside of her that they had wanted so badly and planned for. Yet here he sat, being scolded for his own wrongdoings by his young daughter.

He cupped her small face in his hand, wiping away the moisture from under her eye with his thumb. "No more yelling," he promised, knowing without a doubt he'd keep this one.

He leaned down and hugged her, scooping her up as she held tightly around his neck.

"Tell Mommy you're sorry," she demanded.

"Ok," he nodded, standing up with her as he walked out of the room going toward his.

He set Ellen down on their bed and went to the bathroom, noticing the door was now open, but she wasn't in there.

Michelle backed out of the driveway in his truck, driving down the street and turning right at the end of the block, heading in the direction of Danny's house.

She had one hand on the steering wheel and one on her belly, feeling the baby kick. Her insides felt tight and sensitive, contributing it to the nerves of what she was about to do. It was long overdue; hoping both Danny and Gracie would forgive her. The tautness relaxed and she put both hands on the steering wheel, reciting the words she would say to them.

"I just want to say before anything else that I'm so, so sorry." She shook her head, not liking the sound of that. "That's horrible, it doesn't sound sincere enough. It's weak Michelle."

She waited at a stoplight searching her thoughts. The light turned and she continued on, changing lanes as she felt the tension rise up in her again, mindlessly rubbing her belly as she chose a different approach. "I've been having a really hard time lately and I apologize for dragging you into my hell."

She huffed over that course of action, "Even weaker," she scolded herself. "Just lay it out there. They deserve to hear the truth."

She thought about the argument with Steve and cringed. They were right back where they started even after making love.

She turned down Danny's street and stopped in front of the house, staring at it, feeling her nerves peak as she took in two deep breathes and let them out slowly. "Just do it," she encouraged herself. "If they slam the door in your face, you know you deserve it."

She slid out of the truck and gripped the armrest of the car door, holding steady as her stomach tightened, feeling like it was about to pop. "Geez," she groaned, "settle down in there. I'll eat as soon as I'm done here. I promise."

Danny looked out the window and saw her slowly approaching his door.

"It's about time she came to apologize," he mumbled, assuming that's why she was there. "Gracie!" he yelled out to his daughter who was in her room.

"What?"

"Michelle is here."

He looked over his shoulder toward the hallway as she appeared, stopping at the end of it. "She is?"

He motioned with his head, "She's going to be knocking in about ten seconds." But before he could even get the words out they both heard the doorbell ring.

Michelle stood on the small porch feeling the heat of the day as a small trickle of sweat dripped from her hairline down the side of her temple. She caressed her belly again feeling it tighten in places that were not a normal daily occurrence. She looked up as the door opened, seeing Danny standing there with a scowl on his face and Gracie in the background with more of a hurtful expression.

She put her hand on the doorframe, bracing herself and let out a deep breath, focusing on Danny and then moving her attention to Gracie. "I have to say very quickly that I'm so very sorry to both of you over my behavior the other day at the mall." She inhaled and exhaled in short quick gasps before she continued. "It was horrible and I feel awful over it." She reached out and braced a hand on Danny's shoulder, "Please forgive me, because I need help," she chuckled nervously over her dilemma. "I think I'm going into labor."

Danny's grouchy expression instantly turned stunned and horrified while Gracie smiled brightly over the surprising news.


	25. Chapter 26

"What?!" Danny yelled. "You're in labor?! Here?! Now?!" He put his hand on Michelle's shoulder, mirroring her grip on him.

"I think so," Michelle shuttered, squeezing his shoulder even tighter, getting a handful of his shirt with it as another pain hit her.

"You can't do this, not now, not here. Stop!" he yelled out.

Michelle looked up at him like he was crazy. "I can't!"

"Stop yelling at her, Dad," Gracie scolded him as she came up behind him. "She can't stop it, even I know that."

"Ok!" he said breathing in and out like he was the one in labor. "Everyone just calm down!"

Gracie looked at Michelle and rolled her eyes, "We are calm, Dad. You're the one freaking out."

"I'm not freaking out!" he hollered.

"Can I sit down?" Michelle asked patiently.

"Yes," Gracie replied, nudging her Dad out of the way, "Come over here." She led her over to the couch.

"We should go to the hospital," Danny announced loudly, "not sit down!"

"I don't think I can make it."

"Call 911, Dad."

"And call, Steve," Michelle added. "In that order."

"Holy crap," Danny mumbled, frantically turning his head one direction and then the other. "Where's my phone?!"

Gracie rolled her eyes again at her father, picking it up off the coffee table, holding it up high for him to see. She focused back on Michelle. "What should I do? Do you need something? Are you thirsty?"

"No, honey," she reached out and took her hand, "I'm ok." She gently squeezed it as the two looked at each other. "I'm so sorry Gracie about the other day. Of course you can come over anytime and babysit Ellen, and even the new baby."

Gracie smiled seeing the apology more in her eyes than in her voice. "That's ok. I'm not mad."

Michelle smiled through another contraction as her stomach tightened, "Thank you."

Danny paced back and forth talking to 911, relaying questions and messages to Michelle and Gracie. "How far apart are the contractions?" he asked.

Michelle shook her head, "I don't know, about two minutes maybe a little longer." She was early, but the onset felt normal, just like with the twins.

"Has the babies head begun to crown yet?"

She and Gracie both looked up at him, questioning that question.

"Uh, no Dad," Gracie replied trying not to laugh at him.

"My water hasn't even broke yet," Michelle added.

"Seven," he spoke into the phone and then focused on Michelle, "You're seven months along right?"

She nodded with a worrisome expression, "Yes, seven and a half, or so I thought." She began to worry about what impact this would have on the baby coming out too soon.

Gracie saw right away the changes in her face and in her eyes, squeezing her hand gently. "It's going to be ok. The baby is just excited and wants to come out sooner than expected. I'm excited too," she smiled.

Michelle nodded, suppressing her fear, "You're right. I'm excited too."

"We need to call Uncle Steve."

Michelle looked over at Danny as he continued the one sided conversation with dispatch. She looked back over at Gracie. "Steve needs to be there when it happens. I don't have my phone."

"I'll call him from my phone," Gracie said, getting up and running to her room.

Michelle sat back into the couch as another contraction slowly began to build. She didn't think about the pain but instead she reflected on her life over the past year and how horrible it had been, not knowing how she had made it through. Her thoughts went to Steve, knowing the only reason she did survive was because of him. He stood behind her, next to her, and when she needed it, he stood in front of her, shielding her. She hadn't made it through alone, she'd made it through with him. She put her hand on her stomach and couldn't help but feel the joy over how this year was going to end. They deserved this happiness, she thought. He did just as much as she.

She looked out toward the front door, hearing the ambulance in the distance.

"Steve," she said almost panicked. "I need Steve with me. Danny!" she shouted to him, needing his focus to now be on her husband.

"Here," Gracie said coming toward her with her phone in hand, handing it out to her. "Talk."

Michelle took it from her, "Hello, Steve?!"

"Hey sweetie, is that kid of ours already giving us a hard time?" he smiled, slipping on a pair of shoes as Ellen did the same next to him on the couch. He was doing a good job of hiding his anxiety over the early arrival of the baby.

Michelle started to cry just over hearing the sound of his calm overjoyed voice. "Where are you?"

"Ellen and I are leaving for the hospital right now. We'll meet you there."

"I need you with me when the baby comes."

"I'll be there. Do you want me to come to Danny's?"

She looked up seeing the Paramedics come through the door with a gurney. "No, go to the hospital. I'll hold it in for you," she smiled through her tears.

"Ok," Steve laughed as he stood up, taking Ellen's hand. He could hear the strain in his wife's voice over her dilemma, needing to calm her. "I love you, Michelle," he said tenderly. "You've given me everything I could have ever hoped for in this life, and then some. Thank you."

She smiled as fresh tears filled her eyes, feeling that joy again as her fears subsided. "I love you too."

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Michelle opened her eyes, waking from a much-needed nap. The first thing she saw was Ellen laying on the small sofa across from her hospital bed, sound asleep, the next was Steve, sitting in a rocking chair holding their son, having a one-sided conversation with him.

"Sometimes," he spoke softly, "we all go out in the kayaks and then go snorkeling. That might be a couple of years down the road for you, but I promise you will love it. That will be around the time that we'll start throwing the football you're going to get for Christmas this year." He smiled as he brought the baby in his arms up to his lips and kissed his forehead. "We're going to have a great time, Buddy. I'm going to teach you everything about being a man and you're mom and sister are going to teach you about everything else." The baby held steady staring up at the voice as if listening. "You're mom is not only the most beautiful and the smartest woman in the world, but she's also the bravest. Do you know she even saved my life once. I'll tell you all about it someday. Maybe on the day you leave for the Naval Academy."

Michelle couldn't help but chuckle over that. "What if he decides to be a Marine or an Army Ranger," she teased.

Steve looked over at her and smiled. "Aww, Michelle, that's the most horrible thing you've ever said to me."

She giggled, reaching her hand out to him. "Come here and let me see my boy."

He stood up holding the baby easily with one arm. Michelle lowered the bed and scooted over as he threw a leg up on it, keeping one planted on the floor. She slid her hand under his arm that held their son. "How's he doing?"

"Good. We were just having some father and son one on one time."

"Look at how cute he is," Michelle gushed. "Hi sweetie," she said to him. "I can't believe you're still awake. Are you hungry? I bet you are."

Steve shifted while Michelle unbuttoned her nightshirt. He carefully handed the baby to her as she laid him next to her breast, placing her nipple close to his mouth. He latched on right away and began suckling.

"Wow!" Michelle chuckled. "He's got that down."

"That's my boy," Steve grinned proudly, stroking his hand over the baby's head. He put his other arm around Michelle's shoulders, "How you feeling?"

"Ok. Better after that nap."

"The nurse came in a little while ago and was asking about a name."

She agreed, it was past time to decided. "What do you think? I like John."

He nodded, "I like John too," pleased that she was onboard with naming his first-born son after his father.

"John Steven McGarrett then."

He liked that even better. "I thought maybe you would want to give him Greg as a middle name, after your Great Uncle."

"No. The next one we can name Greg."

He liked the sound of that even more. "The next one? You want to do this again?"

She leaned over and kissed him. "And again, and again, and again."

"Let's get this one out of diapers first."

"That's a good idea," she agreed. "Remember Elie and Ellen, trying to juggle those diapers and feedings?"

They both fell silent being reminded of Elie and her absence in this monumental family event.

Michelle looked up at him with half a smile. "She was so looking forward to this baby."

"I know. She would have been like a second mother to him."

She laid her head on his shoulder as they both watched their son nurse. "John needs to know her, even though he never got a chance to meet her, he needs to know his sister."

Steve kissed her on the forehead, "He will. We'll make sure of it."

John made a whimper as he pulled away from her breast.

"I think he's all done already," Michelle said. "Do you want to burp him?"

"Sure, it's been a while but I think I can manage." He took him from her and laid him on his shoulder, gently tapping his back.

"Did you talk to Danny," she asked him as she buttoned up her shirt.

"Yes, all is forgiven. He wasn't really mad, just more irked at the idea that you didn't trust Gracie anymore. And he was avoiding me because he was afraid he'd say something he'd regret. He also wanted to say thank you for not delivering in his family room."

Michelle chuckled, "There was a minute there that I was getting rather concerned. More so because I thought John was premature and it frightened me."

"It scared me too, but I can't believe both you and the doctor were a month wrong about how far along you were."

"It was because of my time in Iraq and the aftermath. It took a heavy toll on my body. He was amazed that John even survived the first trimester." She smiled at him; "He's a trooper, just like his Dad."

"Yes he is, he's a…"

He stopped mid sentence as they both busted up over the loud burp coming from their tiny son.

"That's my boy," Steve boasted proudly.

"He really is your son, isn't he?"

They snuggled close on the small bed, admiring their creation as he slept soundly, now tucked securely in his father's arm.

"You know what?" Michelle said.

"What?"

"I was dreading Christmas. I know we couldn't ignore it like we did Thanksgiving because of Ellen, but I just wanted to get it over with."

"And now?"

She smiled, "Now I feel that maybe John coming early is more of a blessing than we both hoped for."

Steve smiled, pulling her closer with the arm that was around her shoulder, pleased to hear those words coming from her. "I wouldn't put it past Elie to have something to do with it. She always did know how to make people happy."

"You're probably right," Michelle chuckled as tears sprang to life in her eyes. "It wouldn't be doing her life justice if we were sad all the time." She buried her head not wanting to cry but unable to hold it back. "I'm sorry," she sniffed.

"Hey!" Steve said gently shaking her. "Listen to me. Don't ever apologize for mourning Elie, you have every right to feel what you're feeling. I know we both have dealt with our emotions in different ways and even went as far as shutting out the other, but I want you to lean on me, don't hide from me. You can tell me if you're sad and miss her. I might not be able to make the sadness go away but at least I can offer a shoulder to cry on. I'll need it too, from you."

She looked up at him, taking his comforting words to heart. "I love you," she whispered softly before thanking him with a kiss.

He rested his head on hers as she settled back on his shoulder. "We'll be ok," he told her. "I always knew we would be."

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Steve felt a gentle shaking as he slowly woke up.

"Daddy, wake up!" Ellen whispered loudly, repeating it over and over until his eyes opened and the loud whisper turned to an excited squeal. "Wake up! Santa came!"

He smiled at her expression that was beyond enthusiastic, almost animated as her eyes shined brightly. He hadn't seen that look on her in a long time, wishing he had a camera on him at that second. The day had arrived that he had been dreading, but after the birth of John and he and Michelle's close bond that had returned, this day turned into one that he was looking forward to instead.

"Santa didn't come last night," he teased her. "I'm going back to sleep." He closed his eyes.

"Daddy!" she shook him again. "I promise, promise, promise he came!" she pulled on his arm. "Just come see the presents under the Christmas tree."

"Ok, ok," he moaned, "let's go see."

He looked over his shoulder seeing the empty space next to him, assuming Michelle was downstairs already with John.

He and Ellen came down together as he stopped on the bottom step, "Holy cow! Look at all those presents! How did they get in our house?"

Ellen squeezed his hand, jumping off the last step. "Santa Clause brought them! I told you so!"

"Who are they for?" he asked as she dragged him by the hand toward the tree.

"Me, I think." She plopped down on her knees in front of the pile. "Look and see Daddy if any are for me?"

"Merry Christmas," Michelle said as she came in the family room.

"Merry Christmas, Mommy!" Ellen screeched, clapping happily. "Look at all these presents!"

She set a cup of hot chocolate on the coffee table for Ellen and a cup of coffee next to it for Steve, bending over and giving him a kiss as he knelt next to his daughter. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," he replied, accepting her gesture with a smile. "Where's John?"

"I'll get him. He's all fed and ready to open presents."

"Are any for me, Daddy!"

His attention went back to Ellen as he reached under the tree and pulled out a gift for her. "Hey, look here," he pointed at the nametag. "What does that say?"

"Ellen!" she shouted and clapped her hands. "What do you think it is?"

"I don't know, you better open it and see." He handed it to her as Michelle came back in holding John. She tossed a pillow on the floor and sat down next to them while Ellen tore open the present.

"Look what I got," Ellen said in awe, showing her the box of beads for making bracelets and necklaces. "Look at all the colors, Mommy?" she exclaimed. "I can make a necklace for each color."

"Those are beautiful." Michelle smiled at her daughter's excitement as Steve handed her another gift. Like him she was already enjoying the day more than she thought she would.

They had tried to begin a morning tradition the past Christmas when the girls were old enough to really enjoy their first Christmas. They opened presents and then Steve made an elaborate breakfast with the kids while she began preparing the turkey for dinner. The year before had been the best either could remember in their lifetime and both decided then that's how it would start out every year. She felt that familiar pain in her heart, knowing it would never be the same without Elie though. She looked at Ellen as she tore through another present, wishing with all her heart that Elie could be there with them. She looked away and fought back the tears that were beginning to form. ' _Stop_ ,' she scolded herself, ' _don't ruin this for Ellen_.'

Steve reached under the tree and found one for Michelle as requested by his daughter. She took the gift to her mother, standing proudly in front of her. "Here Mommy, this one is for you."

Michelle smiled, handing John to Steve and took the package as Ellen waited with anticipation for her to open it, knowing exactly what was inside.

"For me?" she smiled. "This is so exciting," she grinned.

Steve watched her, knowing too what was in the package. Ellen had brought the idea to him. It was a sweet gesture on his daughter's part, hoping his wife thought so too.

She unwrapped it and opened up the homemade card of three stick people drawn on a piece of paper. Their hands and feet were larger than normal, with colored toes and fingernails. She knew right away what it was, but Ellen explained it anyway.

She pointed at the fingernails, "See the toes and fingernails? We can go and get them painted. You and me." She smiled proudly at her mother over the gift, hoping she would be excited about it too.

Michelle stared at the picture knowing the three stick figures represented she, Ellen and Elie. They had all three gone a couple of times but more often than not, it was she and Elie that would go while Ellen was more interested in going kayaking or snorkeling with her father.

"Michelle?" Steve asked after she hadn't responded, hoping she wouldn't disappoint her daughter over this, knowing for a fact she was thinking of Elie at that second.

"You see, Mommy," Ellen explained, pointing to each figure on the paper. "This is me, and you and Elie. Elie used to like going," she looked up at her, "but I'll go with you since Elie can't anymore, if you want to?" She picked up the gift card that Steve had bought for her. "This means it's for free."

Michelle looked at her with tears in her eyes, "This is wonderful. I think we should make a whole day out of it, lunch, shopping and getting our nails done."

Ellen smiled brightly, "It's for toes too, see," she pointed at the colored toes on the picture.

Michelle reached out and hugged her. Ellen stepped forward and put her arms around her mother's neck, hugging her back tightly. "I love it. I love it so much, thank you." She looked over at Steve who smiled at her, he wasn't pleased so much over the acceptance of the gift as he was over the embrace of the two of them.

"You two sound like you have a fun day ahead of you. I think that would be a perfect day for John and I to hang out."

"You can't do anything with him, he's just a baby," Ellen giggled.

"We can watch football and nap on the couch."

Michelle leaned over and kissed the top of John's head, "Sounds like the perfect bonding day for father and son."

They opened a few more presents each when Ellen crawled under the tree and reached in the back, pulling out a small box that looked as if it had been wrapped by a four year old.

"Oh my," Michelle smiled, "and who is that for?"

"Elie," Ellen replied matter-of-factly. "I made it for her so she would have a present too."

Steve and Michelle looked at each other, both overcome by the innocence of Ellen's generosity and insightfulness. They had both wanted to keep Elie's memory and presence alive for days exactly like this one, yet it was Ellen who had the forthright to include her sister in the tradition of opening Christmas presents.

"Who should open it?" Ellen asked, holding it out to both of her parents, not realizing the impact it had made on them.

Steve swallowed down the lump in his throat, reaching out and taking the gift from her. He handed it over to his wife. "I think Mommy should open it."

Michelle took the small package and quickly wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her robe. "I would love to." She looked at her daughter. "This was a wonderful thing you did, Ellen." She saw right away the gleam of pleasure in her eyes over the praise. "You made this all by yourself?" Michelle asked as she carefully opened the box.

"Yes. I know she likes stuff for Susie."

Michelle pulled out a small band of red ribbon that had pieces of toy jewelry glued to it. Michelle held it up, admiring the artwork. "You did this all by yourself?"

"That's beautiful," Steve smiled, putting a hand on Ellen's shoulder. He had no idea what the ribbon was for, but it was the thought that had him choked up.

She smiled proudly, "It's for Susie's hair. Elie liked putting stuff in her hair."

Michelle ever so gently ran her fingers over the ribbon. "This is wonderful, Ellen." She pursed her lips not wanting to cry but knew how much Elie would have loved that gift from her sister.

She carefully set it back in the box and pushed herself up off the floor.

"Where are you going?" Steve asked uneasily as she walked away from them. The expression on her face set off alarms in his head, being reminded of emotional moments like this one when she would run away and hide in seclusion.

"I'll be just a minute," she replied with a small whimper.

He held John and looked over his shoulder as she disappeared around the corner of the kitchen. He focused back on Ellen who looked at him with the same knowing thoughts in her head.

"Did I make Mommy mad?"

"No, honey," Steve forced a smile for her, but couldn't help but feel a familiar wave of anger wash over him, wondering how Michelle could do this today of all days. "Let's see if you have anything else under the tree."

They both looked over toward the direction she had left, hearing her come back in the room.

She smiled at both of them, holding Susie in her hand. "I think we should put that ribbon on her and see how it fits."

Ellen's face lit up brighter than the Christmas tree, while Steve's anger quickly diminished and was replaced by a warm, relieved greeting for his wife.

She handed the doll to Ellen to do the honors as she sat back down next to her husband. She glanced over at him, pleased with the loving look she was getting in return. "What," she teased him, "did you think I was going to run away and hide?" She snuggled up closer to him, "My life is here with my family."

"Look," Ellen said, holding up Susie for them to admire with the red ribbon tied around her long, yellow sting hair.

"Beautiful," Michelle replied enthusiastically. She took the doll and set her in her lap, holding her close. "I know Elie is looking down from heaven right now and she's so happy with her present."

"I think Susie should be here every Christmas and every birthday," Ellen suggested.

"I think you are absolutely right," Michelle agreed. "She belongs in the house with her family. Elie would have loved that."

"I'll build her a shelf to sit on," Steve added.

Michelle slipped her arm through his and pointed to a corner of the room. "Right over there, and I think later today we should go visit Elie at the waterfall. What do you two think?"

"Yes!" Ellen said wholeheartedly.

"I think that's a perfect idea," Steve replied. "I think that should be our new family tradition on Christmas."  
"Me too," Michelle agreed. "I'll pack a lunch."

"Can Susie come too?" Ellen asked.

"Of course," Michelle replied, reaching out and pulling her down on her lap as she tickled her. The sound of their laughter filled the room.

Steve recognized that sensation as it slowly grew inside of him, not having the privilege of experiencing it for some time. It wrapped around him, making him feel safe and secure. It came from the closeness of his family.

They'd made it, he thought. After all they had been through, against all the odds, they'd made it. He attributed their success to one person and one person only. She'd fought the fight like a true soldier. He respected her now more than he did that night she'd come down that hill. All this time he'd strived to be her hero, realizing then at that very moment, that she was his. His respect and love for her had no boundaries and no end.

Michelle looked at her husband as he mouthed the words 'I love you'. His warm smile was the cure for her once broken heart, repeating the phrase back to him that had been and always would be the core of their survival.

"I love you, too."

 _The End_

* * *

 _ **As always, THANK YOU ALL for being so loyal and patient, but most of all thank you for taking the time to read my stories! The reviews have been extra kind and so motivating to read. Believe it or not they've got me out of a slump a time or two, so thank you again!**_

 _ **Not sure when I'll be starting up a new one. I have a couple of ideas, but need to develop the plot a little more. Stay tuned…**_

 _ **Aloha !**_


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